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A Man's Guide to Life/Love in Philippines - Larry Elterman

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to the Asian countries - China, The Philippines, Thailand, etc.

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Postby Winston » Fri Aug 13, 2010 2:56 pm

Note: I split the posts in this thread about my "social freeze" in Taiwan into a new thread, since they were off topic and didn't belong in Larry Elterman's thread here.

They are now in the new thread "Winston's social freeze in Taiwan".
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"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
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Postby ladislav » Sat Aug 14, 2010 11:17 am

I have found different places to be different when it comes to judging. It depends on who you are, and who they are, what group you are perceived to belong to and how they expect that group to behave. Generally, a Western white male who is different will be judged at home because he is a member of majority and thus is expected to confirm. In many places in the 3d world a western white male will be exempt because he is an outsider, a male, is thought of as rich and a tourist.
In the West they do not judge minorities. A black guy can walk around with huge dreadlocks and if anyone as much as squeaks, he calls them a racist. A Pakistani woman is London will parade around in Muslim clothes and people will lower their gaze out of PC respect for her. Gays will be kissing in parks and again, most people will respectfully, with a smirk turn away mumbling to themselves : I am not prejudiced, I am not prejudiced.

In the US, Europeans who do not act like mainstream Anglos will be judged and called all sorts of names. But people will not expect non mainstream people to do that.
In Asia, Asian women will be judged but not a Western man. This is why many people want to go to the US. Japanese women who feel oppressed in Japan, find freedom in America. Gays who would be dead in their country, Jews, all kinds of such people will breath freely in the US and enjoy the freedom. But not white males.

In the Philippines a white guy is above reproach and in India, too because of a very strong heritage of colonial oppression but a Filipina American girl coming from the US is treated like a hooker and is constantly judged. She is left alone in the USA , though. There, it is freedom for her to be herself. Not for me.

In Thailand, which was not colonized, white people are constantly judged but because you do not speak the language, what they say about you simply sounds like "ping pang pong poong" to you.

So, basically, you find a niche place for you. And depending on who and what you are in may be located here or there or wherever. Just check out where a person of YOUR type will be less judged.

In countries where traditionally oppressed groups suffer, they yearn to go to America and when they get there, they have freedom. In a country where they oppress men, the men would be better off if they went to places where someone else is oppressed and where they are left alone.
A brain is a terrible thing to wash!
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condos in boracay or mactin island?

Postby starkeep » Sat Aug 14, 2010 11:04 pm

8) I know construction costs arent to bad there and have seen ads about condos in boracay and other that people in the us can own and make
money at. I have also heard foreigners cant own houses there. Unless a corporation ?? Does anyone know who to contact about that?? I dont think its a good idea to have a house in the wife or gf name. There also seems to be a global depression in realestate but the pi seem to be holding up?
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Postby Winston » Wed Aug 18, 2010 1:46 pm

Here's an update from Larry's friend Dan about call center jobs in the Philippines for foreigners:

By the way, I met a few foreigners who worked at call centers here in the PH as employees and made between 30 and 70K a month (depending on the gig). The guy next to me at the bar said there were at least a few hundred people like that in the country, I never new! That's still not a big sample of people, and its not great money, but its an option. I would definitely look in to either Cebu or perhaps even better Davao where there are a lot of new centers going up tons of nice girls and cheap living.
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Re: Chines and high interest opportunities

Postby The_Adventurer » Fri Aug 20, 2010 5:50 pm

LarryElterman wrote:For the record i was talking about real chinese people who grew up in china. Filipina with chinese blood are still Filipino in my mind. I have found some chinese men to be friendly to me, but never chinese women. Im not making a judgement here, im only telling my own experience.


Is it possible they simply didn't speak English? Or were afraid to?
“b***y is so strong that there are dudes willing to blow themselves up for the highly unlikely possibility of b***y in another dimension." -- Joe Rogan
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Postby Winston » Sat Aug 21, 2010 5:29 pm

Heads up. Larry just did a 2nd interview with Steve!

I'll post it as soon as it becomes available.
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Postby globetrotter » Sat Aug 21, 2010 6:21 pm

I want to hear that!
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Re: Chines and high interest opportunities

Postby Winston » Sun Aug 22, 2010 8:38 am

Terrence wrote:
LarryElterman wrote:For the record i was talking about real chinese people who grew up in china. Filipina with chinese blood are still Filipino in my mind. I have found some chinese men to be friendly to me, but never chinese women. Im not making a judgement here, im only telling my own experience.


Is it possible they simply didn't speak English? Or were afraid to?


Come on now Terrence, you know better than that. If language caused people to become closed and silent, then everyone in Russia would be that way toward foreigners who don't speak Russian. And no one would have talked to me when I first went there in 2002 and didn't speak the language.

A truly open person will still talk and make hand gestures to try to communicate with you, not become stone silent. Come on, you have enough travel experience to know that don't you?

Some thrive on familiarity and won't speak to others unless it's in their own language of course. But that's a reflection of their narrowness and inhibition.

I speak Chinese but that doesn't make Chinese people more open with me. It's an attitude.

I do find though, that Chinese in America tend to be more open with me, probably cause as an immigrant, they are in a "adjustment phase" and so are slightly more open than they were in their home country since they've had to adjust to a new country and know they cannot just be like they were back home. They also know subconsciously that they are supposed to assimilate into their new culture too, and become more open to it. They are between cultures, so to speak and have to open up more.

Plus, being in a foreign land and seeing another Chinese person is refreshing and helps them to re-identify with their kind. It's kind of how if you were the only white guy in an African village, and you saw another white guy pass through, you'd be much more friendly and talk to him more so than if you met him in a typical US public place, in which case you'd just ignore him.

Rock though, finds the opposite to be the case. As a white guy, he gets more attention from Asians in Asia than in the US, where he isn't as much of a novelty.

Plus Chinese are cliquish in general and by nature. The ones that aren't are an exception, not a norm. Larry probably didn't meet that many Chinese, or he lived in areas where they were more cliquish and had no reason to talk to him. Maybe in Boston, where he's from, there weren't that many of them, and the ones that were there were cliquey.
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Postby Free » Wed Aug 25, 2010 2:39 am

Thanks Winston for the compliment.
I feel freedom on an hour-to-hour basis is so crucial, as much is possible at least. No place is perfect, but as we know, some are on better levels than others and also are individual needs dependent.
From living under a weight of stress that the cookware made too loud of a noise and could (or did) wake the person nearby, to being able to either have the funds or opportunity to move to your own place and feel the freedom to be able to make whatever noise and go with the normal natural flow of life (things do naturally make noise afterall, just try preparing a meal without making a noise, you are constantly fighting the natural flow/rhythm of life thus capping your freedom).
This is just one small example of 1000's, but the point is there.
One of my main points is to get away from this generalization about freedom. You hear, someone left such and such country and went to another to be more free. Fine, completely understandable, but what about the details? The list of reasons why they feel free. From sun up to sun down. Can they speak how they like? Do they feel less judged? Can they earn more money and provide for a better quality of living? Can they get out of the crammed 6 person mini apartment and get their own place therefore privacy, freedom to make noise, freedom to use the bath at any time, freedom to walk around naked if they so desire, etc.? Can they simply feel free and comfortable to take a walk to the park without the fears of being robbed or judged or depressed by depressing sights? Feel more free and comfortable to approach others, including the opposite sex for potential pursuits? Etc etc etc.
THESE details.
This is not a matter of an insecure individual. I talk of a different substance.
There needs to be more material about this type of freedom. Not just the general stuff and simple answer of letting go. Being in the flow and not forcing life is crucial, but HOW do we do that? Faith is foundational, but people often need detailed practical advice.

Thanks Ladislav for expanding on my earlier post. You added some great points that I forgot to add.
I had been reflecting exactly on that very thing of how the examples you mentioned will not be judged much at all or much less, like they are given a judgement-free card simply based on their being clearly different and instilling a fear into the others to be PC, PCphobia or something. :roll:

Not to divert the thread, just felt this thing of freedom in many facets, applies certainly to us, those of us who are seeking. We are not seeking just the more relational females, but a freedom as well. Mostly all humans desire freedom, but the masses tend to wallow in it. We are at least seeking.

Thanks for reading.
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Postby Repatriate » Wed Aug 25, 2010 5:45 am

Free wrote:One of my main points is to get away from this generalization about freedom. You hear, someone left such and such country and went to another to be more free. Fine, completely understandable, but what about the details? The list of reasons why they feel free. From sun up to sun down. Can they speak how they like? Do they feel less judged? Can they earn more money and provide for a better quality of living? Can they get out of the crammed 6 person mini apartment and get their own place therefore privacy, freedom to make noise, freedom to use the bath at any time, freedom to walk around naked if they so desire, etc.? Can they simply feel free and comfortable to take a walk to the park without the fears of being robbed or judged or depressed by depressing sights? Feel more free and comfortable to approach others, including the opposite sex for potential pursuits? Etc etc etc.
THESE details.

Everything you are talking about can be summed up as quality of life considerations. This reminds me of all the yahoo news surveys that like to claim the U.S. ranks in the top 10 for quality of life. This may be true if you're a fresh immigrant coming from nothing or an upper middle class person with a stable well paying job and an attractive wife but for the middle to lower middle class in most cases the U.S. is just average to even bad when compared with other upper tier developing and developed countries. The middle class is literally being bled to death now.

Plus advantages of being an expat of a certain nationality or ethnic make up is never taken into consideration. People tend to gloss over these details because of patriotism and whatever else.
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Postby Winston » Wed Aug 25, 2010 8:03 am

Hi all,
Steve has had second thoughts about releasing his 2nd interview with Larry, cause he got too emotional in it and was yelling too much, and is ashamed of how it turned out. So he wants to try to redo it.

Too bad. I was looking forward to hearing it.
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Postby travel_man » Wed Aug 25, 2010 8:54 am

Tell Steve to just release it anyway. Tell him also not to worry how he comes across - no one here gives a shit anyway. We just want to hear what Larry has to say. If he wants to make changes to his behavior, he can do that later when he's conducting his next interview.
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Postby Winston » Wed Aug 25, 2010 3:11 pm

travel_man wrote:Tell Steve to just release it anyway. Tell him also not to worry how he comes across - no one here gives a shit anyway. We just want to hear what Larry has to say. If he wants to make changes to his behavior, he can do that later when he's conducting his next interview.


Alright I'll let him know. But if he does decide to post it, please don't be hard on him if he does get overly emotional in the interview, or else he may decide not to release it next time. So please try to refrain yourself from criticism.

We all lose our cool sometimes after all. It's only human.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

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Postby DCX_10 » Fri Aug 27, 2010 3:24 pm

Winston, how many virgin girls have you landed in Philippines? I was told that it is a big deal in Philippines, like the family will chase after you?

Winston wrote:
travel_man wrote:Tell Steve to just release it anyway. Tell him also not to worry how he comes across - no one here gives a shit anyway. We just want to hear what Larry has to say. If he wants to make changes to his behavior, he can do that later when he's conducting his next interview.


Alright I'll let him know. But if he does decide to post it, please don't be hard on him if he does get overly emotional in the interview, or else he may decide not to release it next time. So please try to refrain yourself from criticism.

We all lose our cool sometimes after all. It's only human.
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Postby Winston » Fri Aug 27, 2010 6:58 pm

DCX_10 wrote:Winston, how many virgin girls have you landed in Philippines? I was told that it is a big deal in Philippines, like the family will chase after you?


Virgins? As far as I know, none.

But I was a few girls' "second", or so they claim.
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