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Why are AC expats’ so jaded and negative compared to mine?

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Why are AC expats’ so jaded and negative compared to mine?

Post by Winston » November 21st, 2007, 10:41 am

I’m wondering why most expats in the Philippines are jaded and have much more negative experiences and observations than I do?

For instance:

- They claim that all Filipinas want us only for money
- They claim that all Filipino men hate them, are envious of them, and that they’ve never known a Filipino man who has not tried to cheat them
- They claim that drunk Filipino men in bars and karaoke places will start fights with you
- They claim that Filipino police side with their own kind, even when you are in the right

These things are commonly reported by expats, including ones that have lived here for years or decades. Yet I’ve been here for a year, met and interacted with hundreds of people, and these claims do not fit my experiences at all.

Is it because Filipinas treat foreign Asian men better than foreign White men (contrary to the stereotype that they prefer White men)? Or is it because most expats here are old, fat and bald, whereas I am clean cut, proportionate, young looking, cute (they say it), romantic, charming and charismatic? What are these jaded expats doing wrong?

For instance, I know many Filipinas that don’t like me just for money. Sure I meet leeches too that try to bum free things off me inappropriately. But there are always many decent Filipinas I know who aren’t like that, who have middle class values. And I am well liked and sought after by Filipinas even when they know that I don’t give in to users and am very frugal. As a test, I tell all Filipinas I meet that I am frugal, on a budget, and am not here to be a Santa Claus to any Filipina’s family, and fortunately, many still want me and are crazy about me nevertheless.

Maybe it’s because most of these expats only date Filipinas from the bars? Most expats I’ve met here limit their love life to the bars here. I don’t know why. I have no problem picking up Filipinas outside the bar scene in public places such as the mall, restaurants, fast food joints, streets, the markets, in jeepneys, etc. Most of them are approachable and open to me, and show interest when I engage them. So why can’t the other expats date non-bar girls too?

Perhaps my pick up style and personality simply fits and jives well here. I don’t know. But I did have A LOT of practice in Russia, which you can see at

And in regards to envious Filipino men, I’ve never had looks of jealousy, spite or envy from Filipino men. They are always cheerful and relaxed around me. Even when I’m with hot Filipina girls, they are friendly with me, and often they like to cheer me on as if rooting for me.

Sure some Filipino men have tried to cheat me and rip me off too, but certainly not most of them. Most of them are just honest hard working humble people. I know ones that are educated, kind and generous too, which I met through certain circles that had nothing to do with the bars of course.

I don’t get what those expats are smoking who claim that they’ve never met a Filipino guy who didn’t try to cheat them. I can introduce them to Filipino guys who would never cheat them. But of course, the human ego doesn’t like to be wrong. It’s not just jaded paranoia at stake here, but I just fear that these guys might give the public a false perception of Filipino guys.

I’ve also been in local bars and karaoke/videoke places with drunk Filipino men around too. They never gave me any trouble, but were always cheerful and jovial with me. But one of my white friends with me did run into one who got mad at him and looked like he wanted a confrontation, which I witnessed. So I wonder if they are more like that toward whites.

And finally, I’ve gone to the police after having been ripped off, and the police usually side with me, not with the scammers. So why do the other expats report otherwise?

Maybe it’s a racial thing, or a personality/chemistry thing. But I don’t find too many intellectuals among the other expats here either.
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