Okay. I just feel that a lot of Americans need to "get with the program" #Sammuelle in the society they are moving to. I a.s.s.ume HA poster JP is doing the same thing over there in Latvia or whatever FSU/EE country he's married in. I don't want to hear the quid-pro-quo strawman argument of "Well Mexicans don't learn English when they come here". That's not entirely true lolGhost wrote:Well, the primary reason I started learning the bits of other languages I know was because the draw of the women from those places. Ukraine isn't showing me any promise yet, so I don't have motivation for it now. I don't think that makes me a stupid American. People tend to learn languages because it benefits them (as in motivation to get a good job) or interest. I've been an EFL teacher, and I never noticed a deviation from this. And of course it applies to myself as well. I'd rather find something to give me the motivation than to start prematurely, fail/find out that the culture is horrible, and that all my effort was wasted.E Irizarry R&B Singer wrote:You should learn their language. Don't you want to prove you aren't a typical, unyieldingly-stupid American? Don't you want feminism to not transcend over to those Ukranian and Russian women? Do you want to allow English to reign forth spearheading its movement? If you are going to "ghost", then it should be done with the least amount of western idiosyncrasies.Ghost wrote:I'm starting to get more messages now. Learning some about what's effective and what isn't.
The girls are definitely not going to respond to "Hello, how are you?" messages. I sent a few of those just to check. My typical message is 1-2 paragraphs and I give details about myself, what I'm looking for, future plans, etc. Responses were slow at first, but I'm starting to get more replies now. I'm getting around a 50% response rate for well thought out messages.
A lot of girls don't speak English, so that will be the first limiting factor. I don't speak any Ukrainian or Russian, so I'm using google translate so far. In the future, if things don't improve, I may try to learn some of these two languages and then put some things in my profile in Ukrainian/Russian.
But for the girls who speak English: that's obviously the bulk of who responds to me. So that is encouraging. That would indicate that it is not the girls being too picky or my looks being too poor. It's the language barrier that interferes the most. Taken a step further, it should mean that any man willing to learn a language for a certain population of women should absolutely have no problems with the women.
I've tried offering my Skype several times, and it never worked. Only one girl offered hers, and that was the girl who said my idea to find a Ukrainian girl is stupid. I got one email from a hot blond. Didn't ask for it. I think exchanging emails is better because it allows the girl to respond more at her leisure.
Now, on to another issue. How quality are the girls? Well, most of them have a fatal flaw that would prevent them from being suitable. Lots of the women are divorced, single moms, too old, or too slutty. At least one of these things apply to at least 95% of the girls I'm seeing.
I'm not convinced that English inherently spreads feminism/liberalism. I'm open to the idea, but I don't see any hard evidence that this is the case. After all, other languages can come up with PC terms if they want to. I do think, however, that culture is the primary determiner of what ideas will spread. And language is what spreads culture. So there is some connection, but I don't think the English language is the real culprit. Unless said woman in question speaks English like a native-speaker, I don't think those PC terms are going to make much of an impact or make much sense to her.
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I've seen that here in Mexico. Folks who have been here for years. Folks with a Mexican wife and inlaws, even a kid. Or grandkids. STILL no speaky the lingo.
Didn't realize it was stubbornness. Thought they were just stupid.
But guess I was wrong. White Americans are not stupid. They are myopic, self-righteous, and really, really, really, REALLY stubborn.
I've noticed a non-trivial number of ladies in W's "dating.happierabroad" side bar have small (1,2,3 year old) children.
Some are even at the back end of their fertility window (early/mid 30s) -- with a toddler in tow.
They may as well say "Had my fun. Sichass, ya xachoo gospodin beta bucks.".
не поглеждай назад.
"Even an American judge is unlikely to award child support for imputed children." - FredOnEverything
One of the problems with a paid site is that one must consider the chance that there is some scam factor. Why would a woman join only a paid site? I suppose she could see it as a filtering mechanism (someone with enough cash is not going to worry about paying, etc.)
I don't have as much of a problem with a free site that charges extra for better service, so long as it is possible to correspond for free.
I'm just thinking out loud here: I wonder what these Russian women think is a good $US salary. $50K? $80K?
A lot of US women have huge expectations nowadays. What's the bottom line for Russians? How much are you supposed to be earning? Depends of course on a number of factors 1) their age 2) rural vs big cities 3) kids no kids 4) how hot or not you are/they are.
The FSU is probably one of the most expensive and difficult happier abroad paths to take as far as finding the right wife for you. Or as the married/experienced members on Ruadventures say, "Finding the rare diamond in the dirty barrel". It's possibly more difficult than going to the Philippines or any of the East Asian countries. Here is some useful advice: http://ruadventures.com/forum/index.php ... #msg393003
1. Under promise and over deliver. Don't promise to do something, but if by chance
you do, then move heaven and Earth if necessary to do it. NEVER ever say you are
going to call and then not call. If you are in an ambulance on the way to the hospital
with bullet wounds in your chest, then you need to stuff some cotton in the wounds
(to stop the sucking sounds from your lungs) and call the girl on the phone.
2. If a girl acts disinterested but leaves the door open for some possibility, DUMP her!
She is trying to save hurting your feelings. You need/want/desire a girl who is interested. Completely and totally interested. All other girls go to the reject pile.
3. If a girl seems indifferent DUMP HER
4. If a girl starts making excuses DUMP HER.
5. If a girl is so hot that you have drool hanging from your bottom lip to
the floor forming a little puddle and she seems slightly interested in you
6. DUMP slightly interested. DUMP mildly interested. DUMP them and move on!
Do not waste the energy of one more mouse click on any lukewarm girl.
7. Once you start dumping hot women you will start noticing a change in yourself.
You will begin to realize that YOU are driving the bus.
8. Drive the bus! write letters to cute girls, get them on Phone/Skype and dump
the liars, the flakes, the fat girls, the so-so girls and get back to writing more letters.
9. Look at every future girl as a numbers game. You have to literally sift through
hundreds or even thousands of girls to find the future Mrs ______________ (your
10. The quicker you churn through those girls the quicker you will be romancing the
future Mrs _________________ (your name here)
How to get started
1. Get some professional photos done with a digital copy so that you
can use them for a profile and for future letters. Don't have them photo shopped
unless you have a bee sting on your nose and that is a rare occurrence. Also get
a number of normal photos of you by the beach, in the forest, the mountains, doing
various things like picnics and barbecues. DON'T include photos of other women unless
they are your Mother, Grandmother or Full sister, or they are older than 80 or less than
8 years old. Do not take photos of your stuff! Your boat, your car, your house, etc.
Don't use non-current photos
2. Get a new email exclusively for your search. Use that new email to start a
new Facebook page. DON'T ask any of your family or friends to your new FB
page. Use the new Facebook page to create an account with Mamba.ru
Don't use your existing FB account or existing email addresses. If you really
want to know why ask me later and I or somebody else will explain. Get a Skype
account and a decent headset and web camera.
3. Learn some Russian There are lots of ways to do this. I like Pimsleur for
conversation and Rosetta Stone for vocabulary. Look on Craigslist or used places
for deals. Rosetta Stone is difficult to buy used on Ebay. Learn the alphabet. It takes
a little time but once you learn it you will be surprised how fast you improve. Talk to
a FSUW and you will start picking up Russian even faster.
4. Make a decision on strategy.
Are you a Visit One (VO) type? with a backup plan or B. a Visit Many (VM) type?
A. A Visit One type writes a zillion girls letters sifting through the girls
who answer, trying to get any high potential girl on the phone or skype as soon as
possible eventually distilling everything down to one excellent girl and then getting
on a plane right away and visiting her. You should NOT fall in love before you meet,
you should be hopefully optimistic but prepared to move on at all times if there is
no chemistry or you find a fatal flaw. (lying, smoking, drug use, having a local
husband) are examples of what might be fatal flaws
If you visit a woman and it doesn't work out you need to use your backup plan. If you
are a crybaby then your backup plan can be to mope around looking at local tourist crap
and take photos and feel sorry for yourself. My advice is that your backup plan should
be to move to a visit many strategy for the remainder of the trip.
I have been on several visit one trips that didn't work out. I've been heartbroken, but
I went to my backup plan and didn't just give up. Give yourself a pep talk then go after
it. I found my wife using my backup plan!
B. A Visit many type This is for guys who would prefer to determine mutual
chemistry first before wasting a lot of time writing letters or makes a great backup
plan for a visit one trip that goes bad. Pick a city with more than 500K people in it
and buy a ticket to the city, arrange for an apartment, a translator, etc. One week
before you leave you write ONE zillion girls who you find attractive and ask them if
they would like to meet you for coffee or tea.
Don't mix visit one and visit many tactics!!!!
Don't write a dozen girls several letters and have skype and phone calls for a
visit many trip. This will usually blow up in your face. If you have questions ask,
Either myself or one of the others can elaborate further.
5. Do NOT recycle girls if you are writing to Sveta in Sochi and Olga in Omsk
and decide to meet Olga and for whatever reason things don't work out with Olga
then don't go back to Sveta. Why? because Sveta was your number two pick. You
don't want a number two girl you want a number one girl. Sveta doesn't want to
be a number two girl either. You picked Olga for a reason, you didn't choose Sveta
for a reason. You want a number one girl. Don't recycle. Find new girls and start over.
6. If you don't have mutual chemistry with Sally move on This is NOT Hollywood.
Sally is not going to suddenly realized you were what she always wanted. If there is
not mutual chemistry on the first date then Dump her forever. Don't waste your
time or her time. If you don't have a date for all day Saturday don't call Sally! don't
call some girl that you've rejected. Spend the time writing more letters.
Even if the girl is so hot that you can't look at her without drooling on your shoes, if
there isn't mutual chemistry between you DON'T ASK HER OUT AGAIN!
7. If you find a beautiful girl with whom you have mutual chemistry and she
passes all the first date tests. Then you stop dating and pursue her exclusively.
Explain to her that you want to spend as much time with her as possible. If she is as
hot about you as you are about her, she will find a way. If she can't find a way then it's
NOT her, dump her and move on.
8. Be ruthless be a gentleman but dump any girl who isn't the future
Mrs______________ your name here. Don't waste her time don't waste your time.
The sooner you get her out of way the sooner both of you can find your future mate.
You are doing her a favor by dumping her and not wasting her time.
9. Don't listen to excuses. if a girl starts making excuses then dump her.
A serious interested girl will find a way and not make excuses. If you need more info
on what I mean then ask and somebody or myself can elaborate further. A serious
good girl will come up with a solution.
10. Get back on a plane to see her again soon. It's best if you make plans to
see her again before you even leave. When you leave you are not there! And it's your
job to keep things rolling along. Don't be vague! FSUW don't do vague! Say I am going
to be on a flight to see you on XYZ day and I want you to wear your red dress and black ]
panties and I will be checking the panties. You need to be a man of action! The relationship
is fragile as soon as you leave so make sure she know you are coming back in 2 or 3
months. Call her daily, skype her daily, send her sms daily it's your job to romance her
and to seduce her. She wants to be romanced and she wants to be seduced!
LASTLY, FSUW are not for entry level daters. You know who you are. If you are considered
gullible by your friends or are socially shy or inept then it might be best to hire a wingman
like Eduard than to try this on your own.
+1 to ?????? for a QUALITY, SINCERE, USEFUL-AND-ACTIONABLE post!
"Well actually, she's not REALLY my daughter. But she does like to call me Daddy... at certain moments..."
The difference seems to be though -and that's the valuable part i get from the post- that there is actually material to sift through. As opposed to pedestalizing and praying for a chance to orbit the rare hottie in the chump-zone.
1)Too much of one thing defeats the purpose.
2)Everybody is full of it. What's your hypocrisy?