Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to Russia, Ukraine, or the former Soviet Republics.
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Often times I'm asked by men who have just started researching the possibilty of finding love and happiness in Russia what is the best plan to follow when seeking a wife? I've developed this general guideline that worked for me. I'm sure it will work for you. It WOULD have worked for Winston if he would have stayed with the plan and not followed his own fucked-up plan being distracted by every eye-catching prostitute that walked by him on the street.
Anyway, here it is: good luck and good hunting!
"You are wise to have chosen Volgograd as your
destination. Hopefully you will plan a 10-14
day trip as this works out well for an initial
visit. The city is blessed with three FANTASTIC
agencies that can assist you in introductions
and facillitate communication prior to your visit.
I know each of these agency owners personally
and can vouch for their integrity and honesty.
Here are the links to their web sites:
Each of these agencies maintains a regular
business office that you can drop by during
your visit to Volgograd. They can translate
letters, provide reasonable accomodations,
provide translators if needed, and be of general
assistance to your courtship plan. They know
the ladies on their site and can give you some
insight into their personalities and motives.
IMHO the best plan for most men is the "WMVM"
plan which stands for "write many, visit many".
120 days before you are ready to leave is the
PERFECT timing to start your pre-trip letter writing.
Go to the sites above and select perhaps a total
of 20 ladies you are interested in meeting. Write
an introduction letter describing yourself and make
sure you let them know you will be visiting in within
the next 3-4 months. Be sure to include a picture.
You can use the same "blanket" introduction letter
to each girl.
They will respond to you and you will have the
opportunity to engage them then in a 3-4 month
correspondence prior to your trip. This is near
perfect timing and allows you to get to know a
little bit about them prior to your visit without
building many false expectations or falling in
"love-by-letter". Your pre-trip goal is to to
whittle down your initial choices based on your
pre-trip assessment of your compatability to the
top 5-6 ladies from the initial group that you
will actually want to meet during your visit.
Keep another 2-4 ladies as "alternates" for back-up.
You won't actually meet them unless something
DO NOT make the mistake of an extended letter-writing
campaign (anything over 6 months) with Russian
ladies. It's a complete and total waste of time and
effort. The vast majority of western men have written
letters and never gotten their ass on an airplane and
gone there. The ladies have suffered too much
disappointment from such men have learned not to
put too much enthusiasm into letters received from
western men unless they're sure definite near-term
travel plans to visit Volgograd have been booked.
Within the first two days of your arrival in
Volgograd, BE SURE TO MEET EACH OF YOUR
FINALISTS AT LEAST ONE TIME! It may seem
impossible or a little hectic but this is
very important. The initial meeting doesn't
have to be long. A couple hours for mid-morning
coffee/tea, a lite lunch, an afternoon stroll
down the embankment or a quick dinner will be
ideal. You should be able to do three initial
meetings a day. This will help you determine
if your pre-trip impressions match your face-to-face
meeting impressions. Utilize day meetings for
initial meetings and keep your nights free for
dates with ladies that have especially perked
your early interest.
Most men will have a "pre-trip ranking" of the
ladies you've been writing. Trust me, it's
completely normal for that ranking to change
DRAMATICALLY after you meet them all face-to-face
and spend a little time with them. Too often men
make the mistake of becoming infatuated with the
first girl they meet and they forget about the
others. This is a HUGE mistake! So commit to
meeting them all before you start narrowing the
After you meet the 5-6 ladies you have selected,
start to narrow down your extended courtship choices.
If NONE of the 5-6 ladies are to your liking, arrange
initial meetings with the 2-3 alternate ladies you
have kept as back-up. If you are in Volgograd for
10-14 days, and you used your first 3 days for initial
meetings, you will then have 7-11 days of serious
dating and courtship. Day trips, nights in the
clubs; you'll be on the romantic dating spree of
a lifetime with some of the most beautiful women
you've ever shared company with! Enjoy the process
because it's something that only visitors to Russia
or rock starts usually can indulge .
If you've seen the hit show on ABC called "The
Bachelor" your plan will resemble the format of
this show. You'll have dates with different ladies,
evaluate them; dismissing the ones that don't
measure up and keeping the ones that do until
finally you've made your choice. Some ladies
will be offended that you are meeting other ladies;
but most won't. They will understand that you've
come a long way and expended a great deal of
time and resources for this search.
Your goal is to leave Volgograd with one serious
candidate and one "back-up". It is NOT to leave
the city with a fiancee. In the past, before the
recent K-1 restrictions; because of the long time
frames involved in the K-1 approval process, some
guys might choose to start the K-1 process after
this first trip which is ok so long as you're
emotionally able to "walk" if the situation with
your serious candidate deteriorates. But normally
the K-1 paperwork will happen after your second visit.
Yes, you will need to schedule a second visit to
Volgograd, within the next 3-6 months if possible;
within the year at the longest. This time with plans
to see only your serious candidate. During that
second visit, you'll spend time only with her. This
trip is dedicated only to romantic and compatability
assessment. Maximize your time in the company of her
family and friends during this second trip.
If something happens that things don't work out
with her, make plans to contact your alternate and
continue to follow the plan. If the alternate flops,
start over from scratch in Volgograd or select
Hope this gives you some food for thought. Please
feel free to post any questions to the list and our
helpful members weill be happy to reply with their
opinions and comments."
Brad, I followed such a plan almost to the T, even before I met you. No plan is perfect or guaranteed, especially when it involves human relationships.
I'll tell you something else which I often tell Dianne, almost NOTHING ever goes wrong in my life except when it involves other people and their wills. I am a perfectionist who constantly tries to prevent things from going wrong. I never lock my keys in the car or house, for example, whereas most people have. I have systems in place to minimize or prevent such mistakes.
When it's just me and nonliving objects and details, almost nothing goes wrong. I'm extremely efficient and accurate. Try to find spelling errors in my posts, and you'll see what I mean.
This morning, Dianne was supposed to come at 7 or 8am with the baby for me to visit and play with him. Then we had a number of errands to do later that afternoon, such as prepare her passport requirements. But she was 6 hours late and arrived at 2pm instead. By the time she brought the baby back to her parents' house, it was already dark. So we left to do our errands at 6:29pm instead of early afternoon. On the jeepney, I yelled out "NOTHING EVER GOES WRONG WHEN I'M IN CONTROL! I HATE IT WHEN THINGS GO WRONG!" dramatically.
You see, I hate f**k ups, especially when things I planned for the day don't get done and have to carry on over to the next day or the next week, because everything closes when it's too late.
But Dianne on the other hand, has no sense of a schedule and is perfectly happy to put off things for weeks or months. There is no sense of urgency to do anything, and she is often late 4 or 6 hours, which annoys me like hell, but she doesn't seem to mind. That's why I don't think she can hold a normal job either. She is only 19 and doesn't care if weeks, months or even years are wasted.
Whereas people my age and yours Brad, value time very highly. We know that each day that goes by wasted can never be brought back.
That's why I'm forced to have to act like a drill sergeant with Dianne often, cause she just lets time drag while we all get old.
If she had showed up early this morning like she promised last night, nothing would have went wrong later.
So you see, things don't go wrong in my life, except only when they involve other people!
Now back to your point. There's no guaranteed formula for success when it comes to humans. People are not like equations.
The truth is, a lot of Russian women who rejected me cause they didn't like asian men lied to me about being nonracist. That's one factor.
The truth is, it just wasn't meant to be. You can follow all the successful tactics and everyone else can too, but it doesn't mean you get the same results.
Brad you are shrewd and wise about some things, but you have no deeper wisdom about life, people and the universe, if you think you can put people into formulas.
And no, one whore did not f**k up my plan. I simply was following what I wanted most with that lady you're referring too. But even if she never entered into the picture, nothing much would have been different. I would have met all the agency ladies, had a few nice times, but nothing would have worked out long term.
And it's not cause I didn't follow your plan or did something wrong. That's just how the cookie crumbled and how destiny turned out.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.
Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!
"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
I disagree completely Winston.
Who can say what would have developed had you met the remaining 3 ladies you were supposed to meet? They were pre-qualified and willing to meet you after seeing your picture. One of them, Marina was NFL cheerleader calibre looking babe.
What we can say with absolute certainty is that following my plan couldn't have possibly turned out any worse that the results you got following your own fucked-up plan.
You WASTED your available time in Volgograd pursuing a prostitite that was only interested in you because she thought you might have money. Once she discovered otherwise, she dumped you like yesterday's garbage.
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