Well put Ladislav. I concur with everything you said.The answer to this super long thread is very simple- the reason is the Great Ole' American Nationalism which is as strong and dogmatic as the religious fundamentalism in Iran. No wonder the US is at loggerheads with the Muslim world- they both think they are the best and that their way of life is superior.
There is a firm belief in the US that the US is best, has the best women; all other countries/nationalities are sh1t; they all would rather be Americans and live in the US. Also, that outside the US there be dragons and that everywhere is more dangerous than back home. The second very pervasive belief is that all the women abroad would marry to come to the US only, and then they will leave the guy after they got the green card. These beliefs are pervasive in all strata of the society. Bringing home a foreign girl is also a shame for most guys especially if she is non white in case of white people or non American in case of black people.
Americans have been brought up like this through social and educational conditioning, and the US teachers and politicians hold the same view. Just like Iranians, they are very dogmatic and immobile in this "religious" belief. The media almost always shows other countries as backward shitholes whose inhabitants' only dream is to go to the US and be Americans. This fills Americans with smug and bloated pride and makes them look down on other cultures and nationalities. And that goes for the most/ overwhelming majority/ of the US population. Plus most have never been abroad except to Mexico.
Other ethnic native born Americans are just as (if not more) prejudiced and often despise people from their old countries and think it would be a step down to bring one over from there. So, you have American born Chinese and VNese and even Filipinos who do not want to go to the old countries and to bring the girl back from there and instead are bashing their heads against the wall in the cold, sexless and loveless USA and keep "improving themselves" until they are old, and then they settle down for some fat single mom. This is a myopic, idiotic, very provincial and downright unwise way of doing things but everyone else is doing it so what would a Joe Sheeple do? He does the same.
But even if they overcame the 19th century style nationalism and their own reason-less arrogance, they don't have time nor money for the adventure. Plus most are just spineless pussies.
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What's your story? Discussions your reasons for going abroad.
Easy the basic fear and anxiety of the unknown and the expense. One more reason is the basic chemistry of us males; notice how much more sure of yourself and self-confident you feel when you're getting laid and satisfied sexually and how self-conscious and doubtful you become when you're not getting laid.
Life is Short! Traveling and the people you meet and experiences you have "on the road" will enhance your life forever so GO FOR IT! Feel FREE to ask me Questions about living and traveling in Asia & the Philippines.
A lot of this has to do with narcacism and that a lot of people here think they are so perfict and dont want to marry another nationality or culture. Even in the us this is true. So if many here are that perfict or bad experiences then i guess that is their loss and others gain.
I think when it comes down to it most people fear change, plain and simple. Going to a foreign country to meet women is a pretty damn foreign concept to most people, and at the end of the day most people are pussies and don't like to take any big risks or step outside their comfort zone in any major way.
Let's face it, it takes some serious balls to book a flight and go to a foreign country by yourself. Some of us realize that you only live once and you gotta get out there and live your life and do what you want to do, while others are content so stay in their pathetic little comfort zone for 80 years, then look back and realize that they never really lived.
"When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. And when you're born in America, you're given a front row seat." -George Carlin
"The world is a book, and those who don't travel read only a page." -St. Augustine
"The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life." -Muhammad Ali
I think your chances in Western Europe are quite good. Nightclubs are not your only option but you have to network to find other places or groups of people.
Damaged Women (usually from Western Men) is not as wide spread an issue as in Anglo countries. Can you find single mothers with children, yes but you don't have to go that route. There are still quite a few more single, unmarried, no children women in Central Europe.
For economic reasons that I will detail soon, I can no longer consider Eastern European women as much as I would like to include them in this process. The cost of getting them status and eliminating any possible problems just cost too much. Just getting there cost too much. Its likely this time around, it will be one shot, about 10-12 days, maybe 1-3 women as possibilities all located in Central Europe.
The chances of meeting a perfect match is very slim so you are making a compromise anyway. However I think you need that commitment from a woman because they tend to be more flighty when things go bad. That said, things can't get much worst in the economy, so the distance from where most of us are to rock bottom isn't that far.
I think someone might of said it already but I think part of the reason why some dateless men do not go overseas is INCOME.
It cost money to relocate and if you decide to relocate and there is no job there ...where ..you become dateless to homeless. Lol
Not everyone has a successful online business (I'm working on mine right now.) Someone mentioned ..why not become a ESL teacher. That might work in some countries but not in others.
Other reason why dateless men do not relocate is family. What I mean is you might have to take care of family (this is my case) I'm not talking about kids but I mean parents or grand parents.
I think for other dateless men they just accept it. I knows guys like that. They stay busy with work..their hobbies( picture the 40 years virgin) and find some sort of happiness. Not all guys want girls or need girls.
I know it sounds weird or messed up but I sometimes envy them because ...if you really think about it. You don't need girls in your life. You can still live a full life with out one.
ok heres my perspective: if you move abroad you get a lot of shit from family and even some friends. i know i will not return but every year parents keep inquiring about when i will return. i live in mex currently but have lived in peru and phil. also there is an x factor it takes balls to move somewhere that you dont know anybody. learning a new lang, changing your eating, and living in a society foreign to you is not for everybody. i think also there is a subtle but existing perception that guys who cant get laid in us go abroad. most people i meet abroad are very social, in shape and outgoing these types of people can get laid anywhere. yet they know its better quality and still easier abroad. the loser virgin types in the us should put down video games work out and things should change.
Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback. (The Dude)
the dude abides
There are many, many answers why most [even dateless] men don't take this seriously. Here are some I would come up with:
1. Most other men have found their partners without having to go abroad. I'm not worse than them and deserve the same. And if I haven't got it just yet, there must be something about myself that I can and should change.
2 (this one is mostly specific to me as foreign-born). I've been living in America and adapting to local life for the past 17+ years. Has this all been in vain? Should I have either stayed in the old country or moved somewhere else?
3 (this one is for inborn Americans but I can still relate to it as well) I want a partner from my own cultural background, someone who speaks my language, someone I can relate to. Why in the world do I have to look for something opposite to that (especially if most other guys don't)?
4 There is no sufficient basis to claim that about the society rather than myself. Hence, there is no sufficient basis to believe that I would surely be lucky abroad.
5 Whether the existing stereotypes are accurate or not, the stigma still exists that women in less-developed countries are especially interested in American men for the sake of getting a greencard. You may rightfully say that there's nothing wrong with utilizing your American citizenship as a commodity that has value abroad but not at home - that's as long as it's only an additional reason (not the reason) why she chooses you. But still... I still believe I have much more to offer than a potential greencard.
6. Money, money, money... And, of course, time... One thing is to simply have a nice vacation in a foreign country, which I do enjoy and wish I could afford it more often than I currently can. But traveling aboad for dating requires much heavier investments of money and time. especially considering the fact that most Americans have rather limited number of vacation days available per year. While I'm lucky to enjoy more vacation time than most other Americans, I would still rather spend it on normal traveling, not on "global dating". That's what most other guys (and girls!) do.
5. You want to retain high standards of living (especially if you are to remain living in the U.S. where cost of living is expenseive). So you want to make sure your future wife will contribute to that as well. You don't want to bring in a foreign chick who has to start everything from scratch in terms of her career (or, at very least, take her time to find a normal job).
Any other insights?
You can run away from America, but you CAN'T run away from yourself.
I'm going to address the Money point because its one of the main tenants of my plan.
I am unemployed, now under normal circumstances that would almost completely eliminate me from the dating pool. But what I have come to find out is that immigrants tend not to look at money the same way native born and educated Americans tend to be. However I believe that by pursuing women overseas, it nullifies the money question because -
(A) Why would that be a concern when we're not committed?
(B) Why is that a concern when we don't know where were going to live?
Pretty much when a woman gives you a piece of ass, that is her way of showing commitment to the relationship, is not a sign of ownership as many American men would interpret that. So any concerns she would have about YOU being able to earn a living would be answered and she is comfortable with those answers.
When I talk to women, what I do tends to come up in conversation. Its usually never asked again. Not that she isn't interested, its just not as important. American women would ask for your tax returns if they didn't know you would have a very negative reaction too it. But you know there some dumbass American male that gives her his "Proof of Income" statement. That will be used by another woman somewhere....
I've just about given up on the internet however, I think I'll have much better luck and selection on the ground. Just to add fuel to that, out of the three founders of EDC or DC as it will be known from here on out, 2 of them didn't marry the women they contacted via the web site. So I have confidence exposing myself to the local talent will work just as well as having a Que online.
Last edited by djfourmoney on January 4th, 2013, 5:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Anyone involved in a business that involves day trading or passive income is obviously the best way to be able to earn while being able to travel abroad. It's almost the perfect combination to be able to explore the dating scene abroad while still making money. Fortunately, being an owner of an investment club, all my income is passive and does not require me to physically be at a certain place. I am planning my first trip to either Russia or Ukraine this coming Spring to test the waters.
I agree 100% with you on this one. It is sometimes difficult to step out of that "comfort zone" even though it isn't that "comfortable". Laziness with poor excuses is usually the main reason for most people. The last thing I want to do is live the rest of my life realizing how much I've missed out. There's so much to life out there. The world is a big place and there is so much more to experience out there.
Its easier to date the devil you already know instead of the one you don't...
AW are devils so you've nailed it. Not that foreign women are perfect, but at least the Police in Russia hang-up on b!tches when she calls claiming domestic violence...
Women was not the only thing he was clueless at it seems.