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Most dateless men won't consider going abroad? Why?

What's your story? Discussions your reasons for going abroad.

Moderators: jamesbond, fschmidt

Postby OTB » Wed Feb 15, 2012 9:10 pm

The answer to this super long thread is very simple- the reason is the Great Ole' American Nationalism which is as strong and dogmatic as the religious fundamentalism in Iran. No wonder the US is at loggerheads with the Muslim world- they both think they are the best and that their way of life is superior.

There is a firm belief in the US that the US is best, has the best women; all other countries/nationalities are sh1t; they all would rather be Americans and live in the US. Also, that outside the US there be dragons and that everywhere is more dangerous than back home. The second very pervasive belief is that all the women abroad would marry to come to the US only, and then they will leave the guy after they got the green card. These beliefs are pervasive in all strata of the society. Bringing home a foreign girl is also a shame for most guys especially if she is non white in case of white people or non American in case of black people.

Americans have been brought up like this through social and educational conditioning, and the US teachers and politicians hold the same view. Just like Iranians, they are very dogmatic and immobile in this "religious" belief. The media almost always shows other countries as backward shitholes whose inhabitants' only dream is to go to the US and be Americans. This fills Americans with smug and bloated pride and makes them look down on other cultures and nationalities. And that goes for the most/ overwhelming majority/ of the US population. Plus most have never been abroad except to Mexico.

Other ethnic native born Americans are just as (if not more) prejudiced and often despise people from their old countries and think it would be a step down to bring one over from there. So, you have American born Chinese and VNese and even Filipinos who do not want to go to the old countries and to bring the girl back from there and instead are bashing their heads against the wall in the cold, sexless and loveless USA and keep "improving themselves" until they are old, and then they settle down for some fat single mom. This is a myopic, idiotic, very provincial and downright unwise way of doing things but everyone else is doing it so what would a Joe Sheeple do? He does the same.

But even if they overcame the 19th century style nationalism and their own reason-less arrogance, they don't have time nor money for the adventure. Plus most are just spineless pussies.


Well put Ladislav. I concur with everything you said.
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Re: Most dateless men won't consider going abroad? Why?

Postby AsiaBill » Sat Feb 25, 2012 11:23 pm

Winston wrote:Hi all,
Momopi told me recently that most dateless men in America will not consider going abroad, that's why this site doesn't appeal to most people, even if its message and claims are true.

If that's so, then why are most dateless men in the US unwilling to go overseas? Any theories or explanations?

I thought wanting to travel was part of human nature?


Easy the basic fear and anxiety of the unknown and the expense. One more reason is the basic chemistry of us males; notice how much more sure of yourself and self-confident you feel when you're getting laid and satisfied sexually and how self-conscious and doubtful you become when you're not getting laid.
Life is Short! Traveling and the people you meet and experiences you have "on the road" will enhance your life forever so GO FOR IT! Feel FREE to ask me Questions about living and traveling in Asia & the Philippines.
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narcacism

Postby targetguy » Sun Feb 26, 2012 4:19 am

8) A lot of this has to do with narcacism and that a lot of people here think they are so perfict and dont want to marry another nationality or culture. Even in the us this is true. So if many here are that perfict or bad experiences then i guess that is their loss and others gain.
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Postby wineguy » Wed Jun 27, 2012 8:59 pm

I think when it comes down to it most people fear change, plain and simple. Going to a foreign country to meet women is a pretty damn foreign concept to most people, and at the end of the day most people are pussies and don't like to take any big risks or step outside their comfort zone in any major way.

Let's face it, it takes some serious balls to book a flight and go to a foreign country by yourself. Some of us realize that you only live once and you gotta get out there and live your life and do what you want to do, while others are content so stay in their pathetic little comfort zone for 80 years, then look back and realize that they never really lived.
"When you're born into this world, you're given a ticket to the freak show. And when you're born in America, you're given a front row seat." -George Carlin

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Postby djfourmoney » Wed Jul 04, 2012 6:50 pm

aozora13 wrote:I believe that most men are afraid of leaving because of media and the negative response they will get from their families. I know that many man (contrary to what American/Western women think) that are alone for many years. In Europe, you can at least make a quick trip to Germany, Netherlands, Belgium and other countries so you can at least release stress.

However, the US is a sex prison and sadly a guy will think that although he might have a decent job, attractive (average), and is basically a decent guy, he has problems with getting damaged women. I would say of course being black that I had the thought that some places I should not go. I know that in Europe, I will have chances in some countries than others. In Austria for example where I am right now, it is not easy to get a girl if you are black. I can speak German okay but to find a girl who are interested in black guys depends. I am also tired of only meeting them at clubs.

I think that if you want to release stress, probably you can go on 1-2 vacations a year to do that. However, I believe your best decision to find a good wife in South America, eastern Europe/Russia and Asia is to possibly learn the language so you can find a girl that is not to influenced by western culture.

I can agree with momopi. There are a lot of immigrants and if you are able to find a good girl who is an immigrant, you can possibly stop her from being corrupted but your children are definitely going to be affected. Also, you might be able to go back to your country and avoid living in the US.


I think your chances in Western Europe are quite good. Nightclubs are not your only option but you have to network to find other places or groups of people.

Damaged Women (usually from Western Men) is not as wide spread an issue as in Anglo countries. Can you find single mothers with children, yes but you don't have to go that route. There are still quite a few more single, unmarried, no children women in Central Europe.

For economic reasons that I will detail soon, I can no longer consider Eastern European women as much as I would like to include them in this process. The cost of getting them status and eliminating any possible problems just cost too much. Just getting there cost too much. Its likely this time around, it will be one shot, about 10-12 days, maybe 1-3 women as possibilities all located in Central Europe.

The chances of meeting a perfect match is very slim so you are making a compromise anyway. However I think you need that commitment from a woman because they tend to be more flighty when things go bad. That said, things can't get much worst in the economy, so the distance from where most of us are to rock bottom isn't that far.
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Postby chanta76 » Sun Jul 15, 2012 6:04 am

I think someone might of said it already but I think part of the reason why some dateless men do not go overseas is INCOME.
It cost money to relocate and if you decide to relocate and there is no job there ...where ..you become dateless to homeless. Lol
Not everyone has a successful online business (I'm working on mine right now.) Someone mentioned ..why not become a ESL teacher. That might work in some countries but not in others.

Other reason why dateless men do not relocate is family. What I mean is you might have to take care of family (this is my case) I'm not talking about kids but I mean parents or grand parents.

I think for other dateless men they just accept it. I knows guys like that. They stay busy with work..their hobbies( picture the 40 years virgin) and find some sort of happiness. Not all guys want girls or need girls.

I know it sounds weird or messed up but I sometimes envy them because ...if you really think about it. You don't need girls in your life. You can still live a full life with out one.
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Postby royaldude » Sun Aug 12, 2012 5:53 pm

ok heres my perspective: if you move abroad you get a lot of shit from family and even some friends. i know i will not return but every year parents keep inquiring about when i will return. i live in mex currently but have lived in peru and phil. also there is an x factor it takes balls to move somewhere that you dont know anybody. learning a new lang, changing your eating, and living in a society foreign to you is not for everybody. i think also there is a subtle but existing perception that guys who cant get laid in us go abroad. most people i meet abroad are very social, in shape and outgoing these types of people can get laid anywhere. yet they know its better quality and still easier abroad. the loser virgin types in the us should put down video games work out and things should change.
Oh, the usual. I bowl. Drive around. The occasional acid flashback. (The Dude)

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Postby skeptic » Wed Aug 15, 2012 1:01 am

There are many, many answers why most [even dateless] men don't take this seriously. Here are some I would come up with:

1. Most other men have found their partners without having to go abroad. I'm not worse than them and deserve the same. And if I haven't got it just yet, there must be something about myself that I can and should change.

2 (this one is mostly specific to me as foreign-born). I've been living in America and adapting to local life for the past 17+ years. Has this all been in vain? Should I have either stayed in the old country or moved somewhere else?

3 (this one is for inborn Americans but I can still relate to it as well) I want a partner from my own cultural background, someone who speaks my language, someone I can relate to. Why in the world do I have to look for something opposite to that (especially if most other guys don't)?

4 There is no sufficient basis to claim that about the society rather than myself. Hence, there is no sufficient basis to believe that I would surely be lucky abroad.

5 Whether the existing stereotypes are accurate or not, the stigma still exists that women in less-developed countries are especially interested in American men for the sake of getting a greencard. You may rightfully say that there's nothing wrong with utilizing your American citizenship as a commodity that has value abroad but not at home - that's as long as it's only an additional reason (not the reason) why she chooses you. But still... I still believe I have much more to offer than a potential greencard.

6. Money, money, money... And, of course, time... One thing is to simply have a nice vacation in a foreign country, which I do enjoy and wish I could afford it more often than I currently can. But traveling aboad for dating requires much heavier investments of money and time. especially considering the fact that most Americans have rather limited number of vacation days available per year. While I'm lucky to enjoy more vacation time than most other Americans, I would still rather spend it on normal traveling, not on "global dating". That's what most other guys (and girls!) do.

5. You want to retain high standards of living (especially if you are to remain living in the U.S. where cost of living is expenseive). So you want to make sure your future wife will contribute to that as well. You don't want to bring in a foreign chick who has to start everything from scratch in terms of her career (or, at very least, take her time to find a normal job).

Any other insights?
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Postby djfourmoney » Wed Aug 15, 2012 9:17 am

skeptic wrote:There are many, many answers why most [even dateless] men don't take this seriously. Here are some I would come up with:

1. Most other men have found their partners without having to go abroad. I'm not worse than them and deserve the same. And if I haven't got it just yet, there must be something about myself that I can and should change.

2 (this one is mostly specific to me as foreign-born). I've been living in America and adapting to local life for the past 17+ years. Has this all been in vain? Should I have either stayed in the old country or moved somewhere else?

3 (this one is for inborn Americans but I can still relate to it as well) I want a partner from my own cultural background, someone who speaks my language, someone I can relate to. Why in the world do I have to look for something opposite to that (especially if most other guys don't)?

4 There is no sufficient basis to claim that about the society rather than myself. Hence, there is no sufficient basis to believe that I would surely be lucky abroad.

5 Whether the existing stereotypes are accurate or not, the stigma still exists that women in less-developed countries are especially interested in American men for the sake of getting a greencard. You may rightfully say that there's nothing wrong with utilizing your American citizenship as a commodity that has value abroad but not at home - that's as long as it's only an additional reason (not the reason) why she chooses you. But still... I still believe I have much more to offer than a potential greencard.

6. Money, money, money... And, of course, time... One thing is to simply have a nice vacation in a foreign country, which I do enjoy and wish I could afford it more often than I currently can. But traveling aboad for dating requires much heavier investments of money and time. especially considering the fact that most Americans have rather limited number of vacation days available per year. While I'm lucky to enjoy more vacation time than most other Americans, I would still rather spend it on normal traveling, not on "global dating". That's what most other guys (and girls!) do.

5. You want to retain high standards of living (especially if you are to remain living in the U.S. where cost of living is expenseive). So you want to make sure your future wife will contribute to that as well. You don't want to bring in a foreign chick who has to start everything from scratch in terms of her career (or, at very least, take her time to find a normal job).

Any other insights?


I'm going to address the Money point because its one of the main tenants of my plan.

I am unemployed, now under normal circumstances that would almost completely eliminate me from the dating pool. But what I have come to find out is that immigrants tend not to look at money the same way native born and educated Americans tend to be. However I believe that by pursuing women overseas, it nullifies the money question because -

(A) Why would that be a concern when we're not committed?

(B) Why is that a concern when we don't know where were going to live?

Pretty much when a woman gives you a piece of ass, that is her way of showing commitment to the relationship, is not a sign of ownership as many American men would interpret that. So any concerns she would have about YOU being able to earn a living would be answered and she is comfortable with those answers.

When I talk to women, what I do tends to come up in conversation. Its usually never asked again. Not that she isn't interested, its just not as important. American women would ask for your tax returns if they didn't know you would have a very negative reaction too it. But you know there some dumbass American male that gives her his "Proof of Income" statement. That will be used by another woman somewhere....

I've just about given up on the internet however, I think I'll have much better luck and selection on the ground. Just to add fuel to that, out of the three founders of EDC or DC as it will be known from here on out, 2 of them didn't marry the women they contacted via the web site. So I have confidence exposing myself to the local talent will work just as well as having a Que online.
Last edited by djfourmoney on Sat Jan 05, 2013 1:33 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby ringspun » Sun Sep 16, 2012 1:13 pm

I got many friends been done over many times by English women, and they keep getting back on the saddle, they refuse to give up and move on and get something good... I think its partly cos its what the sheep follow mainly.
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Re: sure

Postby marklambo » Mon Nov 05, 2012 1:08 am

dano wrote:
barronz wrote:Ignorance from living in a continental country is one reason the great mass of men don't leave the country (Even my brother won't believe me). The other reason is our repressive, hypocritical culture, heavily frowns on men looking for sex. Hence, these sites don't mention that as a reason for men going abroad. This is even apparent at the individual level. It really wrangles me when I meet a 30-something English teacher abroad claiming that he came to Japan for the culture or that he loves teaching? Like, teaching doesn't happen back home, and is open to more opportunity owing to no racial barriers compared to foreign places. If you ever ask these guys about getting a job, these delusional types usually will claim up, not wanting their expat experience duplicated.
Which brings me to the next point, there just isn't very much work available abroad. Sparing finance or IT, I can't think of any field that has any availability for Americans. Most foreign countries are closed to foreigners, either to visas or educational barriers etc. Just see the army of low level English teachers abroad with no hope of advancement.

I have a pharmD. This can allow me to work with drugs, develop, serve them, etc. However, other then the military, I can't think of any way to actually get a decent job abroad. English teaching will ruin ones resume if done too long.

ANY GOOD JOB SEARCHING SOURCE FOR THOSE LOOKING TO EXPAT?


I was just wondering if anyone knows someone who daytrades online. Ninety percent of the people who do it lose money, but the ten percent of the people who are successful make a killing. It might be worth looking into. All you need is a good internet connection, and you can do it anywhere in the world.


Anyone involved in a business that involves day trading or passive income is obviously the best way to be able to earn while being able to travel abroad. It's almost the perfect combination to be able to explore the dating scene abroad while still making money. Fortunately, being an owner of an investment club, all my income is passive and does not require me to physically be at a certain place. I am planning my first trip to either Russia or Ukraine this coming Spring to test the waters.
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Postby marklambo » Mon Nov 05, 2012 1:16 am

wineguy wrote:I think when it comes down to it most people fear change, plain and simple. Going to a foreign country to meet women is a pretty damn foreign concept to most people, and at the end of the day most people are pussies and don't like to take any big risks or step outside their comfort zone in any major way.

Let's face it, it takes some serious balls to book a flight and go to a foreign country by yourself. Some of us realize that you only live once and you gotta get out there and live your life and do what you want to do, while others are content so stay in their pathetic little comfort zone for 80 years, then look back and realize that they never really lived.


I agree 100% with you on this one. It is sometimes difficult to step out of that "comfort zone" even though it isn't that "comfortable". Laziness with poor excuses is usually the main reason for most people. The last thing I want to do is live the rest of my life realizing how much I've missed out. There's so much to life out there. The world is a big place and there is so much more to experience out there.
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Postby djfourmoney » Sun Dec 30, 2012 6:54 am

ringspun wrote:I got many friends been done over many times by English women, and they keep getting back on the saddle, they refuse to give up and move on and get something good... I think its partly cos its what the sheep follow mainly.


Its easier to date the devil you already know instead of the one you don't...
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Postby terminator » Sun Dec 30, 2012 7:58 am

djfourmoney wrote:
ringspun wrote:I got many friends been done over many times by English women, and they keep getting back on the saddle, they refuse to give up and move on and get something good... I think its partly cos its what the sheep follow mainly.


Its easier to date the devil you already know instead of the one you don't...


AW are devils so you've nailed it. Not that foreign women are perfect, but at least the Police in Russia hang-up on b!tches when she calls claiming domestic violence...
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Re:

Postby Zambales » Sun Aug 07, 2016 3:53 pm

Winston wrote:It could be. One time, I had this redneck friend who was a genius at fixing cars and selling stuff on Ebay. But clueless when it came to women. He said he'd never date a foreign girl cause of the language barrier, and cause he wanted a red blooded American of his own kind. So that's another reason, wanting someone of your own kind, culture, and language.


Women was not the only thing he was clueless at it seems.
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