Most dateless men won't consider going abroad? Why?

[WorldTraveler]

There are many reasons but here are two:

They are afraid to travel.

They believe that all countries are the same. I have a friend that has traveled and he still believes women are the same everywhere. Yes, people believe this stupidness. He does not do good in foreign countries with women, because he does not want to. He wants to perpetuate his believe so he can stay home and date American women. He says foreign women are just gold diggers, dumb, just looking for a green card, etc. He's spends an inordinate amount of time trying to discourage me from traveling overseas.

[IraqVet2003]

Hi all,
Momopi told me recently that most dateless men in America will not consider going abroad, that's why this site doesn't appeal to most people, even if its message and claims are true.

If that's so, then why are most dateless men in the US unwilling to go overseas? Any theories or explanations?

I thought wanting to travel was part of human nature?

Hey Winston, I think I have some pretty good reasons and/or theories as to why most dateless men in America won't consider going abroad to find a woman. Here is my list as follows:

1.) Most American men don't "think outside the box" in regards to many things including searching for a dating/marriage partner.

2.) Many American men may fear the stigma of getting what is considered a "mail order bride" or believe the stereotype that most foreign only want U.S. men for money and a VISA (Green card).

3.) Most American men haven't heard or come across websites such as "Happier Abroad", "Expat Kings", "Return Of Kings", etc. that promotes foreign women over American/Westernized ones.

4.) The religious, language and cultural barriers may discourage some men from going abroad.

5.) Money and the expense of traveling abroad.

6.) Some dateless men have become MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) and have come to believe ALL WOMEN are bad or stick up and think foreign women are no different

[MattHanson1990]

5.) Money and the expense of traveling abroad.

6.) Some dateless men have become MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) and have come to believe ALL WOMEN are bad or stuck up and think foreign women are no different

Money is especially an obstacle for younger men who can't build a life domestically. But the easiest route is teaching English, especially in China.

Also, AWALT doesn't mean all women are stuck up bitches and sluts. But it does mean that female nature is universal. It's a matter of which cultures can keep hypergamy in check and not let it run rampant.

[El_Caudillo]

I guess getting laid is important as in the will to reproduce and all that. But I would have to say that teaching English in China is not just a walk in the park. You might get a few more dates - but everything else in your life becomes more difficult, i.e. food, internet, communication, sport etc. etc. Also China can actually increase your sense of social isolation. You'll see the Chinese quite connected with each other, while you as a foreigner, will be left out. At least in the west you know it's not just you. I'm not saying don't go, but if your at all fragile China might not be the best choice.

[livefreeordie]

Honestly if I knew what I know now when I was younger, i would have gone over in a heartbeat

Unfortunately much of the time you simply don't know what you don't know, and because you don't know the option doesn't even come into your thinking

Money also comes into it, trips can be expensive and before things like abnb and the internet flights and accommodation tended to be more expensive and that was a barrier for myself in the past. Now that i have a lot more money than when i was younger, its not an issue

We are so brown beaten with all kinds of subliminal and overt propaganda in the news about how bad life is overseas, we also operate on false paradigms which stop us from even thinking about it

Personally i think its great, less competition for me hehe

[Ghost]

.

[Boxman]

What's an "investment club"? Do you and other investors hang out together and play Xbox over beer and pizza?

[Zambales]

Honestly if I knew what I know now when I was younger, i would have gone over in a heartbeat

I would have gone abroad frequently to the Philippines two or three times a year instead of getting involved with western women. Concentrate on a well paid career and when abroad to look for a suitable partner with a goal of settling down after 30.

It's a pity we can't turn back the clocks!

[Citizen]

So many reasons. Consider the guys who look at this site. Do you think your lives and comments do a good job of selling being abroad to them? If others are having a good time then guys start to compare. What will I have in the foreign country vs what I have here. They also look at what is happening in other countries. China, India, actually much of Asia, and Africa are turning into deserts really fast. Who would move to an environmentally dying country? Americans hate socialists but the people of China, Russia, and most of Europe are socialists. In general, Americans have a different form of religion than the people of Europe, South East Asia, Africa, South America and the Middle East.

[Englishjohn]

I've made one trip so far to Thailand for a month. And I keep asking myself why I'm not travelling a lot more. In my case money isn't holding me back. I think you have to reach the stage where you truly accept that dating in the west is a waste of time. And I guess I've been clinging to the notion that I might just meet someone here, even though I've been trying for years without success.

Also it can be a bit of a lonely experience to travel to the other side of the world by yourself. For me it took a bit of getting used to, spending a month in Bangkok where I knew no one. If I could find like minded souls to meet up with it would help. But I think I'm virtually there and plan to spend longer periods away. Just need to decide where I want to go next.

[Conjo]

Most dateless men deserve to be dateless, because they buy into the ridiculous Western notion of "dating", an exclusively American concept that globalization has been pushing unto the rest of the world.

[Kradmelder]

I went abroad in my 20s. The reverse of the rest of you I went to North america I definitely was not happier there and thank God I did not meet a woman the idea of being trapped in that soulless tame house cat place would fill me with dread. Makes sense so many of you want to leave.

[wave_man]

Well, I'll speculate. First, there are those men who are dateless because they lack initiative, the ability plan, reason, etc. and are therefore not attractive. These same deficiencies that cause them to fail in romance will also foil any notions of international traveling, which requires some amount of initiative, courage, and planning. It's just as well; I would as soon see that kind of thing taken out of the gene pool.

Then there are those men who fail in the US or other Western countries because of cultural incompatibility, personality incompatibility (e.g. being an introvert in a society that values extroversion and denigrates introversion). They would be more attractive in another society. That's hard to believe, because people who grow up in a culture and are not exposed to other cultures just accept what they see around them as normal and assume it is true everywhere. Although I live on the West Coast of the US, which for demographic reasons is a dystopia for single men, I have been fortunate enough to meet a few very nice women traveling from other countries. At first I thought, "Wow, she's really nice", but eventually I noticed the pattern and realized that cultural differences are real and that "cultural arbitrage" is a real option. Otherwise, the possibility might have never occurred to me.

It's not like the rest of the world outside the United States is a utopia full of happy, pretty women who want to mate with you. In my (admittedly quite limited) travel experience, I have been to some highly dysfunctional societies as well that I would never choose to be over the US.

Finally, I'm not sure how universal the travel instinct is. I've met many people who say simply that they have no desire to travel. Personally, I am only seriously thinking about this because of exasperation with the romance situation in the US, not because I really want to see the world and explore. It's also difficult because I recently started a new job and being successful in my career is just as important as romance, and spending a large amount of time out of the country would be very disruptive.

[traveller]

It's very sad. Apparently a lot of guys are told that women are the same worldwide. As if women are naturally gold digging, paranoid wild creatures and even as if it were International law that a man have a palace as big as lower Manhattan, a luxury stretch limousine as big as an Amtrak, a 25 figure annual income, a luxury superyacht as big as the Titanic, and the ability to take a woman on even 55 posh luxury world cruises in a row for a honeymoon before he shall even think of getting into a relationship.

Also sad too is that many men are brainwashed into believing that World War II is still raging in every single country in the world outside the USA and Canada, and that they'll get blown right to smithereens by an aerial bombing run before making it to a hotel, or they're told that the hotel would get blown up by a military air raid. Or they are even told that every single country on Earth outside the USA and Canada is a Nazi dictatorship. As if the entire Earth outside the USA and Canada were owned, operated, and run even by North Korea.

[Kradmelder]

It's very sad. Apparently a lot of guys are told that women are the same worldwide. As if women are naturally gold digging, paranoid wild creatures and even as if it were International law that a man have a palace as big as lower Manhattan, a luxury stretch limousine as big as an Amtrak, a 25 figure annual income, a luxury superyacht as big as the Titanic, and the ability to take a woman on even 55 posh luxury world cruises in a row for a honeymoon before he shall even think of getting into a relationship.

Also sad too is that many men are brainwashed into believing that World War II is still raging in every single country in the world outside the USA and Canada, and that they'll get blown right to smithereens by an aerial bombing run before making it to a hotel, or they're told that the hotel would get blown up by a military air raid. Or they are even told that every single country on Earth outside the USA and Canada is a Nazi dictatorship. As if the entire Earth outside the USA and Canada were owned, operated, and run even by North Korea.

Going overseas and making a living, and living amongst a different culture takes a lot of balls and get up and go. You are there on your own with no safety net. There is also the very real probability that you may not want to live in that culture, or with someone of that culture. Certainly I found that. Many people do well overseas but still want to come home for various reasons: culture, weather, family, raisng kids in their culture etc.

The other thing is that you can't just go and live in a country. To get in you must come with money to start a business, have a job offer, a skill that they want people for etc. You have t be able to sustain yourself and show that to the authorities.

Of the reasons you list, do you believe people really think that, or are they just making excuses for their failure to act?

I think women have many traits in common world wide, but the social constraints and cultures regulating their behaviour vary tremendously, hence they appear to behave different.