publicduende wrote:OK. You could say that broadband p**n and the occasional high-class hooker are a perfect surrogate to release sexual urges. At least for men, marriage has long lost its status as a marker of social conformity. True, we don't need women to be happy males. After all, a man can live all his life without ever drinking a drop of milk.
Yet, try and live more than a few days without drinking any water and (if you survive) come tell me how it was. Love is the water, the essential nutrient of our soul.
If not the love of a woman, what love will it be Lone Yakuza? Where are you getting your love from, ABCDavid01? Didn't you learn to yearn love from your mom and dad, or close family? Weren't your moms, however busy and career-minded, loving women who did not spare a few caresses and cuddles when you were young? Are you so desensitized to human relations that you forgot your natural, biological need to rediscover that maternal embrace, that physical contact in another human being, be it your girlfriend or the homeless old woman in that street corner?
We feed on love, acts of genuine human contact and proximity. We need to trust and be trusted, even if that circle of trust collapses to a single person. Feel free to look for that love and trust elsewhere than an American woman, or any woman for that matter. But, for the love of, don't even think of starving yourself of human contact. Grab every smile you can find in a homeless shelter, they're usually from people who value who they are with much more than what they possess. Do some voluntary work with deprived children, suck the tenderness and the wisdom off those derelict elderly - their families might have forsaken them, but they won't have forgotten how to give love. Get yourself a dog: they've been programmed to love and trust their owners and sometimes I can only wish we could learn from their innate behaviour.
Whatever your IQ or political or cultural beliefs, and however articulate you can be in justifying your state of self-inflicted withdrawal, I believe there is no rational argument you can possibly shield yourselves behind to prove that you can live without love. It's against human nature as much as it is for us to breathe nitrogen instead of oxygen.
You know I appreciate your intelligence, your pride and your discipline. I hold you both in great esteem. Yet, without one or more human subjects that you will elect as the source and target of your loving feelings, even the greatest of your achievements will appear shallow and useless.
As somebody once said, you can live without knowing why, but you can't live without knowing for whom.
Well...actually no. The first memory I have of my mother was her hugging me, but that was because I flinched in anticipation of her spanking me. The other first memory I have of her is crying at her parents house because I want a grandfather and grandmother instead of some Chinese folks I can barely relate to. I have more respect for my grandfather now that he's dead. These are clips I can remember for a few seconds. My absolute first memories are still images: being dwarfed by a giant bookshelf, a funeral for a pet bird, and moving from an old house. Pretty ominous. I have very poor memories of my childhood, which is really saying something considering how young I am. I'd rather not remember anyway because it's like I was sleepwalking the whole time. I was just empty inside.
The only real family I have is my father. I consider myself his heir. He has the same relationship with his mother that I do with his wife. My grandmother lives in Israel, so I almost never see her, though she's been nice to me when I have. My other grandfather died before I was born. I don't fit in very well with my aunt, uncles, cousins on either side. My dad even says he doesn't fit in with his brothers.
I do have a cat I love. I just wish she would shut up and stop whining as I type this because by God is it annoying.
I've been in love before. I know what it means, biologically. I've also been in relationships. At least medium length ones. I've also become very anti-materialist. I know the value of human relationships.
Really you can just read what I said as an answer to Yakuza. I am very much a romantic, to the point of mild embarrassment. I don't think I suffer from self-imposed withdrawal. I think external circumstances pressure me into withdrawal.
Here's a song "The Only Place" by Best Coast. It describes California in terms I think are quite accurate having been there for a week earlier this month.
We were born with sun in our teeth and in our hair
When we get bored we like to sit around, sit around and stare
At the mountains, at the birds, at the ocean, at the trees
We have fun, we have fun, we have fun when we please
We wake up with the sun in our eyes
It's no surprise that we get so much done
But we always, yes we always, we always have fun
Yes we always, yes we always, we always have fun
Why would you live anywhere else?
Why would you live anywhere else?
We've got the ocean, got the babes
Got the sun, we've got the waves
This is the only place for me
So leave your cold behind
We're gonna make it to the beach on time
Yeah leave the cold behind
We're gonna make it to the beach on time
Why would you live anywhere else?
Why would you live anywhere else?
We've got the ocean, got the babes
Got the sun, we've got the waves
This is the only place
This is the only place
This is the only place
This is the only place for me
That's how I feel about California, in the same country, so I really believe this Happier Abroad stuff. Unfortunately I live on the opposite coast (Worst Coast) and think everything is awful.
but I'm not sure it's as well crafted, as you might imagine it to be.