Why are Filipinas such terrible conversationalists?

Hero · Post by **Hero** » July 3rd, 2009, 4:54 am

I met a girl in the Philippines 3 years ago who loved me and couldn't keep her hands off of me, but for some reason she simply won't talk about herself! At first I thought it was because there just wasn't much going on in her life to talk about. But when I looked at her Friendster page, it was clear that she had a lot of friends and interests! What's up with that? Why doesn't she want to share her life with me? Not only that, but she rarely asks me questions about myself. It's a shame that I have to dump such a beautiful woman just because she's so taciturn, but I really don't know what else to do.

ladislav · Post by **ladislav** » July 3rd, 2009, 5:40 am

I have given up asking the WHY question. Instead, I ask the WHAT question. The HOW question. The WHAT IS HAPPENING question. There is no WHY. That is just how the culture is. Most Filipinas have not been taught how to converse with a man, unlike Russian girls for one, or Latinas. They just do not have the skill. At least in the case of the girl, she is talking something. I have met girls who might a well be mute. And it is not just English. They are also "mute" in their language.
It is the peasant thing. Usually, middle class girls with BAs can talk a bit better.
I have dumped a few girls for such a reason and I am going to dump a few more.

Cebuanas- girls from Cebu can talk a blue streak. Try those.

But Filipinas are absolute chatterboxes compared to Thais. You might as well be going out with an inflatable doll. It will make more sound than a Thai girl.

Hero · Post by **Hero** » July 3rd, 2009, 4:54 pm

Actually, this girl was from Cebu. I wish I could dismiss the "why" but I just can't. Maybe she thinks that my life is so exciting, that hers would sound boring by comparison, so she won't talk about it. LOL. She would get disabused of that notion quickly if she ever visited me here in the U.S.

Post by **Winston** » July 8th, 2009, 3:07 am

What are you trying to talk to them about? You have to talk to them about very simple ordinary things, go down to their level so to speak. You can't expect to converse with them on your level.

For example, when I get acquainted with a new Filipina here, the first questions I ask her are usually the following:

"So what province are you from?"

"Are you Tagalog or Visayan or Kapampangan?"

"How many brothers and sisters do you have?"

"What do your parents do?"

"Are you in school now? If so, what are you studying?"

"Do you like to sing at karaoke? If so, what type of songs?"

"Do you like to play billiards?"

"What kind of movies do you like? Music?"

"What kind of foods do you like to eat?"

"What do you do for fun?

"Do you ever go to Manila? Cebu?"

"Can you swim? Have you been to the beach before?"

If you keep it basic and simple like that, they will answer your questions for sure. If not, then they might have some personality problem, be moody, or just don't feel like talking. But it's very unusual for them not to talk to you. They do like to talk, you just have to keep the subjects simple like the above.

Then, based on what they say, I focus on the topic that they say.

If they only give short simple answers, then that's fine too. Don't just sit and talk to her. Go take a walk, that makes it easier to talk about yourselves. Or go sing or play pool.

To try to keep the chemistry, I usually flirt with them a lot and compliment them, which gets them flattered and tickles their funny bone as well. For example, I will playfully say to them,

"Wow you're so hot and maganda. You must have many suitors and admirers." (they will usually reply "No I don't" and "I'm not maganda" even if they are super hot)

"I felt a crush when I first saw you." (they will reply "Really? Crush mo ho?")

"Crush kita" (I have a crush on you)

"Type kita" (I like you)

"You make me feel like a schoolboy."

"When I see your face, I forget everything around us."

"You make me feel like I'm in heaven."

"When I'm with you, I forget the time."

"Feeling your hands warms my heart."

Etc. etc.

They enjoy that type of talk. Even if they think you're BSing or trying to charm them to get into their pants, they still enjoy it and react to it. It creates temporary chemistry. That's just my style with them. Not everyone is comfortable doing all that.

So, you can't expect to talk about intellectual things with them or converse on intelligent broad subjects that require a lot of knowledge and worldiness. You have to keep it simple, or just flirt with them and give them cute compliments or say romantic things. That's what I do. And it works. They like me and sleep with me soon.

Maybe try that out sometime.

If you still run out of things to say, just hold her hand and rub/caress is gently. If she likes you, she will enjoy it and rub your hands back as well. While doing so, say sweet things once in a while. Even without words, just sitting and holding her hand or rubbing it is still a form of communication, body communication at least, and perhaps a form of foreplay as well, since you are touching and caressing each other with parts of your body. Get my drift?

Mr S · Post by **Mr S** » July 8th, 2009, 8:26 am

I've realized (and even more so from my IELTS job) that 95% of Filipinos have absolutely nothing to say other than simple matters related to materialistic things. Even the ones with half way decent English skills have nothing to contribute to a conversation. I've actually found it is getting worse with the younger generation, possibly because they do not read books much anymore. I interview locals who go to private schools and have decent English but can't elaborate on even simple topics. If you are an intellectual you won't get your fix by dating or marrying a Filipina, that's for sure! Most guys married to a Filipina always can be found in the westerner bars talking to their other western guy friends to get their intellectual fix. The girls they date and marry are pretty much just eye candy.

If you want to find an educated Filipina who can actually carry a conversation, find and talk to one who has a masters degree or above from one of the three major universities in Philippines. Or has a western education by having lived and gone to school in one of the western countries from high school onward. Other than that you will be stuck with a simpleton, who may look good in her early to mid twenties but once the looks go you will wonder why the hell you are still married or dating her...

I've given up on meeting a decent Filipina that has both brains and looks, it's almost impossible to find. I just hit em and quit em now and even that doesn't really excite me anymore. I'll be saving my money to travel overseas as the girls here don't do it for me anymore.

ladislav · Post by **ladislav** » July 8th, 2009, 10:04 am

The Philippine nation has deteriorated mentally over the past 20 years or so. Even in the 1990ies it was possible to have a normal conversation. And the problem is not English. You learn Tagalog and their Tagalog is often worse than yours. Most can not even make decent sentences in formal Tagalog, and the vocabulary sucks. There is no strong societal effort to preserve the national heritage that would affect all people positively.
Such a difference from Filipinos you used to meet in the 1980ies. Those were mental giants. The RP is heading the same way as the US- total dumbification. Even old Tagalog movies were pretty good. Now they appeal to children mostly.
Being with a Russian girl here in Manila was so refreshing. No English, but I speak Russian, luckily, although it is not as fluent as it used to be. Boy was she smart and cultured! At 18 she was like a 40 year old. Well read, well informed and curious- asking questions all the time. One thing I believe in is that Russia has a bright future because their new generation is just so bright-eyed and smart. Plus the country has a strong educational system and their ministries preserve
language and culture to the highest degree.Same in Argentina. There a simple taxi driver can talk on all topics possible.
The older I get the more I understand that being able to get laid al the time is not the main thing in life. Stimulating one's brain is also a priority.

Post by **Winston** » July 8th, 2009, 10:12 pm

Mr S wrote:I've realized (and even more so from my IELTS job) that 95% of Filipinos have absolutely nothing to say other than simple matters related to materialistic things. Even the ones with half way decent English skills have nothing to contribute to a conversation. I've actually found it is getting worse with the younger generation, possibly because they do not read books much anymore. I interview locals who go to private schools and have decent English but can't elaborate on even simple topics. If you are an intellectual you won't get your fix by dating or marrying a Filipina, that's for sure! Most guys married to a Filipina always can be found in the westerner bars talking to their other western guy friends to get their intellectual fix. The girls they date and marry are pretty much just eye candy.

If you want to find an educated Filipina who can actually carry a conversation, find and talk to one who has a masters degree or above from one of the three major universities in Philippines. Or has a western education by having lived and gone to school in one of the western countries from high school onward. Other than that you will be stuck with a simpleton, who may look good in her early to mid twenties but once the looks go you will wonder why the hell you are still married or dating her...

I've given up on meeting a decent Filipina that has both brains and looks, it's almost impossible to find. I just hit em and quit em now and even that doesn't really excite me anymore. I'll be saving my money to travel overseas as the girls here don't do it for me anymore.

So true. It's not just stupidity though, in most of Asia in general, the communication skills suck. Very few people in Asia have good communication skills. And even among most Chinese people, who have very shrewd business sense, conversation is mostly limited to simple practical things and money matters. So I guess it's sort of an "Asian thing". (Of course, Asians like me are the exception

)

Hence, that's why I tend to stick to the questions I listed above, when making conversation with people here.

The problem with educated Filipinas is that some are snobby, thinking that their education has put them above everyone else, and also arrogant, as if you disagree with them on anything, they get emotional and angry, like you've rocked their world. Thus, even the educated or middle class Filipinas can't hold an intelligent thinking conversation. They may speak English well of course, but they are very opinionated, judgemental and not open minded. And they will act like they are right, even missing obvious things. I've met such types. Yeah they seem educated, but they are also arrogant and opinionated and do not take disagreement well, even if the disagreement is justified and based on hard evidence.

What turns me off about them is that they ACT as though they are smart, but in reality very closed minded and not that worldly as they think they are. But they definitely project the vibes of someone who knows it all and is right.

Weird.

To me, that's not a true intellectual. And it's not the mark of a broad mind.

Plus some of these types live in gated communities in US style suburbs and hardly ever go out, so they live very sheltered lives as well.

And of course, it can be argued that education doesn't make you smarter or more knowledgeable, only more indoctrinated into the system.

Post by **Winston** » July 8th, 2009, 10:19 pm

ladislav wrote:The Philippine nation has deteriorated mentally over the past 20 years or so. Even in the 1990ies it was possible to have a normal conversation. And the problem is not English. You learn Tagalog and their Tagalog is often worse than yours. Most can not even make decent sentences in formal Tagalog, and the vocabulary sucks. There is no strong societal effort to preserve the national heritage that would affect all people positively.
Such a difference from Filipinos you used to meet in the 1980ies. Those were mental giants. The RP is heading the same way as the US- total dumbification. Even old Tagalog movies were pretty good. Now they appeal to children mostly.
Being with a Russian girl here in Manila was so refreshing. No English, but I speak Russian, luckily, although it is not as fluent as it used to be. Boy was she smart and cultured! At 18 she was like a 40 year old. Well read, well informed and curious- asking questions all the time. One thing I believe in is that Russia has a bright future because their new generation is just so bright-eyed and smart. Plus the country has a strong educational system and their ministries preserve
language and culture to the highest degree.Same in Argentina. There a simple taxi driver can talk on all topics possible.
The older I get the more I understand that being able to get laid al the time is not the main thing in life. Stimulating one's brain is also a priority.

So true. I've noticed that the older generation in the Philippines is more likely to hold deeper conversations on more topics. They also tend to have stories to share with moral lessons in them or funny tales as well. They can be wise or grumpy as well.

Fortunately though, Dianne is becoming more open than most of the young generation. She's copied a lot of my English and uses it as part of her normal speech, and asks me questions about new English words, and tries to watch some documentaries with me about various intellectual topics too. Plus she has decent observational skills and can make comparisons. She's even come to admit that 90 percent of the food in her country is bad quality and disgusting. She's one of the few Filipinas who will admit this. She prefers foreign food or places run by foreigners, as they have better food and service, and complimentary appetizers as well.

I can't stand watching the bar girls in Angeles eat. They eat as though they were savages and barbarians, and what they eat tends to be garbage food that looks very uncivilized and of the lowest quality, the kind that dogs would eat.

Hero · Post by **Hero** » July 15th, 2009, 5:20 pm

Vinstonas wrote:What are you trying to talk to them about? You have to talk to them about very simple ordinary things, go down to their level so to speak. You can't expect to converse with them on your level.

If you keep it basic and simple like that, they will answer your questions for sure.

If they only give short simple answers, then that's fine too.

So I have to ask question after question after question, with one or two word replies to every inquiry? Sorry, but that's not my idea of good conversation. Besides, they should be willing to volunteer information about themselves without being questioned about it.

Betty Swolloks · Post by **Betty Swolloks** » July 16th, 2009, 2:10 pm

So I have to ask question after question after question, with one or two word replies to every inquiry? Sorry, but that's not my idea of good conversation. Besides, they should be willing to volunteer information about themselves without being questioned about it.

First post guys.

Yes Hero I could not agree more, you are asking the same questions I have been asking myself for about 18 months. I became involved with a Teacher in Tanjay, Negros Oreiental, I visted her twice, stayed with her and also chatted almost every day on the internet, or to be exact, I asked her lots and lots of questions with very short replies or a request for me not to use so many words.

The thing I find incredible is that she is well educated, degree level and also qualified as a SPED teacher for kids with learning disabilities. Her written and spoken English are very good but her conversational skills are totally crap, having said that, she did once mention that she was nervous chatting with me or writing emails incase I made fun of her poor skills. Something else I found weird was that she and some of her co Teachers have a sense of arogance about them, and they obviously hate to be shown up but the lack of some basic knowledge about world affairs was staggering to say the least. Here's one for you. Chatting with her last November and she tells me that her and a couple of co teachers where preparing a short play about Philippine history and their heroes. I suggested that perhaps they could show the kids or maybe even take them to a remebrance Sunday parade. What?... you know 11th day 11th Month 11th Hour...... Whats that?,,,,,, wait I will ask my co teacher,,, we both teach history....... no she has never heard of it, anyway we only teach History of the Philippines.

Betty Swolloks · Post by **Betty Swolloks** » July 16th, 2009, 2:38 pm

I thought it was just me, glad to see other guys having the same problem. It's like pulling feckin teeth trying to get them to talk. Even when I visited her, the conversations was always about where we would eat or visit the next day. I can tell you it really was a battle, funnily enough I chatted more with her sister in the space of a day or two than I did with her for about three weeks. Mind you, her sister had travelled and had also lived and worked overseas, HK if I remember correctly.

Ohhh and the feckin religion thing,,,,,,,,, every church she passed she crossed herself or whatever catholics call it,, same everytime we would eat,, same everytime we got on her motorbike or a tricycle.... it was driving me nuts.. the final straw was when she asked me if I would like to go to see her church and meet her priest,, well I just had to see this.. the place was packed, in fact they were building an extension, Marble blocks,,,,,, Beautiful church,,,,sadly she was not impressed when I comented that perhaps the collection money she gave would have been better given to beggars outside the church gates. along with the money being spent on the marble stone extension....... Feeling quite smug with my lofty view I gave a wry smile only to have it quickly wiped of my smug face with her reply...... They dont deserve it,,,,,they are lazy,,wont work, and will only spend it on drink or drugs.,,,I asked, Maybe she did not see the woman with two babies in her arms or the blind or the lame? I was shocked again,,,,,,, She replied, some of them are professional beggars.....

I met her preist friend, she had told me that she had discussed with him our relationship and she had obviously told him my views on religion,, she said they would pray for me lol. When I met the guy he gave me the limp cold lettuce handshake and then took two steps backwards with a nervous laugh....It was an amazing thing to witness,,, Judas priest!!!!!, the guy must have thought I was the Anti Christ or something?

Hero · Post by **Hero** » July 16th, 2009, 5:46 pm

Hey Betty, great to hear from you again!

Maybe your lady friends find the Batman costume intimidating LMAO

I know what you mean about the religious hypocrisy.

Betty Swolloks · Post by **Betty Swolloks** » July 16th, 2009, 11:18 pm

Hi Hero.

Yes perhaps my batman suit in the bedroom was a little OTT for her.

Having said that, there does seem to be little in the way of a sense of humour around those parts

Regarding their conversational skills and general knowledge; I wonder if the intense involvement of the church in their society has stymied their growth as a people? It seems to control just about every aspect of their lives.

Post by **Winston** » July 16th, 2009, 11:40 pm

Hero wrote:
Vinstonas wrote:What are you trying to talk to them about? You have to talk to them about very simple ordinary things, go down to their level so to speak. You can't expect to converse with them on your level.

If you keep it basic and simple like that, they will answer your questions for sure.

If they only give short simple answers, then that's fine too.
So I have to ask question after question after question, with one or two word replies to every inquiry? Sorry, but that's not my idea of good conversation. Besides, they should be willing to volunteer information about themselves without being questioned about it.

In the beginning, yeah. Then you work up to more things as you find out what they like and dislike. Focus on their likes and talk about it or do things related to it. Then hold their hand or put your arm around her and start saying flirty, romantic or seductive things. They like to hear those things. Then things get physical fast. What more do you need?

If you want good conversation, talk to your guy friends or talk to the people on this forum. A date is where you bond with the girl, flirt with her, get her interested, make her laugh, smell her hair, intoxicate yourself with her smell, kiss them, feel their body, sex them, etc. Isn't that what you want?

While flirting with her, you try moving in for the kiss occasionally. It helps build up chemistry. See the video I posted on YouTube where I flirt with the bar girl for an example. Flirting with her entertains them as well. Why would you want stimulating conversation with an intelligent person? Isn't that what other guys are for?

When I flirt with them, they laugh a lot and that's all I need. Since they are desperate, it's enough to lay them. Isn't that what you're there for?

Betty Swolloks · Post by **Betty Swolloks** » July 17th, 2009, 2:10 am

Hmmm, it all depends vinstonas.

Just getting laid is not always the main purpose for my visit to the philippines. You see, I have done all that, I have had plenty of girlfirends over the years and getting laid has never been a problem. I decided to venture abroad for something different and I must admit I do think Asian women are by far the most attractive, its just such a shame that they seem so limited in conversational skills and I dont mean anything deep and meaningful just a general chat would be suffice.

Mind you, all the western women I have known could talk a glass eye to sleep but the content of their conversations are simply full of bad attitude and vacuous statements. Therefore, perhaps it's a case of the lesser of two evils ?

I think another poster has already said that they have given up looking for a gwapa fillipina with brains,,, much the same as in the west ?