Winston in China! Updates and Photos

[adann]

Winston,

Some advice for you. At your age, finding a normal woman in China will be an uphill battle. Asian women in their late 20s, 30+ who arent married or have a bf.. usually have some sort of "issue". What this means is that there is a reason why local men arent interested in them. It is very odd for normal asian girls to not be married by 30. Play it safe and dont buy expensive gifts for a girl until enough time has passed.

p.s never ride trains in china (unless its a bullet train). too slow or too crowded. its best to fly.

[zboy1]

Winston,

Some advice for you. At your age, finding a normal woman in China will be an uphill battle. Asian women in their late 20s, 30+ who arent married or have a bf.. usually have some sort of "issue". What this means is that there is a reason why local men arent interested in them. It is very odd for normal asian girls to not be married by 30. Play it safe and dont buy expensive gifts for a girl until enough time has passed.

p.s never ride trains in china (unless its a bullet train). too slow or too crowded. its best to fly.

+1

Absolutely essential advice, Adann. All the Chinese girls I've dated online or above the age of 27 were nutcases. Chinese guys are practically psychic in this regard: they know who to date and who to avoid. There's a reason why some Chinese girls aren't married and no Chinese guy wants to date them...

[zboy1]

Winston, I told you there was something fishy about Lisa. She always seemed like she was always hiding something and liked to lie about a lot of things. That's never a good sign...

Also, once a Chinese/Asian girl goes foreign (non-Asian), that's never a good sign for an Asian guy to date. They usually have issues. ...(As a disclaimer, not all Asian women who date foreign men are like this.)

Lisa always seemed depressed and manic in behavior; always changing moods from one day to the next. That should be a red flag for any guy dating a girl who displays this kind of behavior.

[chanta76]

A few updates and additional points:

3. Dianne read about what happened with lisa above. Dianne said that even though lisa acted badly, she was right about one thing: that there is something in my personality and vibe that repels women. But dianne cannot explain it in words, just like lisa couldnt either. That sounds creepy. Wtf could it be? Could it be due to the curse that the psychic in taiwan told me about?

Regardless, how can i fix or change something bad about me that people cant even put into words? Wtf?

It also seems that only women can feel this bad vibe from me that repels. My male friends do not feel it. I dont know why.

4. I have a new love interest now. She is 28 and from shenzhen. I met her on a dating site. She is very sweet, caring and not materialistic at all. Her focus is on love, not money. We have similar views and attitudes on important areas of life. She likes me a lot and calls me everyday. My friends told me that she looks very sweet, down to earth and authentic. Definitely good wife material.

So how do i prevent this mysterious bad vibe of mine from interfering again with this relationship? The one that lisa and dianne talked about? Especially since they cannot explain it in words? How do you deal with something so indescribable?

The good news is you are able to rebound and find a new girl quick but the bad news if the girls you dated in the past say you repel girls is not a good thing. Me thinks your new relationship might end up the same way. Sorry Winston I want the best for you. But I never met you so I can't say how you are in real life. Perhaps you act different around guys vs girls and that's why guys can't pick up what's wrong with you.

My advice Winston is if you have females friends or try to make female friends. ask them what they think of you. Granted friendship is not the same as romantic relationship so sometimes even a female friend cannot tell you in greater details if there is something wrong with you.

[chanta76]

Adanna ,

Well Winston is almost 40. China is not like the Philippines where an 40 years can date a 20 years olds . So it's tough on Winston to date a much younger women.

[Winston]

Chengdu is a great place to live. The traffic is light. City is relaxed. And subway has surprisingly few people. I was surprised. Low cost of living too. Would definitely consider chengdu as a place to live. However there arent as many hot girls here as in shenzhen or zhuhai. Lower percentage. And many girls here are darker skin too.

Im going on a panda tour tomorrow with a german guy I met in my hostel. Gotta sleep early and get up at 7am. You can only see pandas in the morning because they sleep in the afternoon after they eat. Lol

[Winston]

Winston,

Some advice for you. At your age, finding a normal woman in China will be an uphill battle. Asian women in their late 20s, 30+ who arent married or have a bf.. usually have some sort of "issue". What this means is that there is a reason why local men arent interested in them. It is very odd for normal asian girls to not be married by 30. Play it safe and dont buy expensive gifts for a girl until enough time has passed.

p.s never ride trains in china (unless its a bullet train). too slow or too crowded. its best to fly.

So wheres the advice? That sounded like a pessimistic assessment. No advice was given. Whats your suggestion? I dont feel complete without a chinese woman. I cant just get a wife in the Philippines. Vietnam may be a possibility. But China has billions of women. There must be a good match for me somewhere.

If unmarried chinese women have issues, well so do i. But two people with issues usually results in disaster. The issues dont create a bond.

However i may not have issues. Some people just have bad luck or have heavenly forces against them or have bad karma. I may be one of those. And maybe some Chinese women i meet who are still single are such types too.

The girl im talking to now and in love with, shes only 28 and her last boyfriend that she loved died in an accident. Thats why shes single. She never got over him. Until she met me that is. We connect in a deep way that makes us both feel alive and happy. And we have similar attitudes and views. Plus shes a hopeless romantic like me, which is rare because chinese women arent usually hopeless romantic types.

I showed her photos to my small happier abroad Wechat group and everyone there said she seems like a keeper and gem, including Ethan_sg and Ghost and Bao3niang.

Nothing wrong with trains. I love trains. As long as they have a sleeper bed. Or the ride is less than 15 hours. Flying is more expensive.

[Lorenzo]

4. I have a new love interest now. She is 28 and from shenzhen. I met her on a dating site. She is very sweet, caring and not materialistic at all. Her focus is on love, not money. We have similar views and attitudes on important areas of life. She likes me a lot and calls me everyday. My friends told me that she looks very sweet, down to earth and authentic. Definitely good wife material.

Good for you, but keep your guard up. 3rd reminder to You: Chinese women are cunning and manipulative, more so than any other Asian nationality. Just enjoy the ride and have fun and be ready to move on at the very first warning sign. Repeat after me, "I will not so stupidly and easily fall in love until she proves herself over 3 months, no matter how good the p***y feels"

Cheers

[Winston]

The good news is you are able to rebound and find a new girl quick but the bad news if the girls you dated in the past say you repel girls is not a good thing. Me thinks your new relationship might end up the same way. Sorry Winston I want the best for you. But I never met you so I can't say how you are in real life. Perhaps you act different around guys vs girls and that's why guys can't pick up what's wrong with you.

My advice Winston is if you have females friends or try to make female friends. ask them what they think of you. Granted friendship is not the same as romantic relationship so sometimes even a female friend cannot tell you in greater details if there is something wrong with you.

Well i am skeptical of dianne saying that, because if dianne sensed that i had a bad vibe that repels women, then why did she stay with me for so many years? And why did she never bring it up to me even once? It sounds like dianne is trying to shame me by agreeing with lisa, perhaps out of revenge for dissing her.

Of course i have plenty of female friends. But they give vague answers to such questions. Some say they dont know. Others say i look weak and unmasculine. Others say to just be yourself or some other cliche. Etc.

Also keep in mind that three of my relationships lasted two years or more. So if i really repel women then how could three women stay with me for that long?

Anyhow, none of you are answering my question about why lisa would spin things against me like an enemy does. Why would a girlfriend do that? And why cant she be like other chinese girls i see out in public who are relaxed and happy with their boyfriends and not anxious or impatient or in a rush to get somewhere?

Lisa is definitely not fair or reasonable or clear headed or logical in her behavior and choices.

[Winston]

Winston, I told you there was something fishy about Lisa. She always seemed like she was always hiding something and liked to lie about a lot of things. That's never a good sign...

Also, once a Chinese/Asian girl goes foreign (non-Asian), that's never a good sign for an Asian guy to date. They usually have issues. ...(As a disclaimer, not all Asian women who date foreign men are like this.)

Lisa always seemed depressed and manic in behavior; always changing moods from one day to the next. That should be a red flag for any guy dating a girl who displays this kind of behavior.

How do you know? You only met her once or twice. You mean you saw her mood swings during her English classes? She usually masks it for a while. She appeared quite normal in front of Ethan_sg. So she can hide her nuttiness to an extent.

Well lisa is a divorced single mom so she has no choice but to date foreigners since chinese guys wont accept her. You gotta take that into account.

Btw lisa confessed to me that the real reason her ex husband ignored her was not because he suddenly decided to be cold and uncaring for no reason, as she alleged long ago. The real reason was because he got tired of dealing with her manic depressive mood swings and so he ignored her and gave up. If so then why didnt she tell me before?

[Rock]

The good news is you are able to rebound and find a new girl quick but the bad news if the girls you dated in the past say you repel girls is not a good thing. Me thinks your new relationship might end up the same way. Sorry Winston I want the best for you. But I never met you so I can't say how you are in real life. Perhaps you act different around guys vs girls and that's why guys can't pick up what's wrong with you.

My advice Winston is if you have females friends or try to make female friends. ask them what they think of you. Granted friendship is not the same as romantic relationship so sometimes even a female friend cannot tell you in greater details if there is something wrong with you.

Well i am skeptical of dianne saying that, because if dianne sensed that i had a bad vibe that repels women, then why did she stay with me for so many years? And why did she never bring it up to me even once? It sounds like dianne is trying to shame me by agreeing with lisa, perhaps out of revenge for dissing her.

Of course i have plenty of female friends. But they give vague answers to such questions. Some say they dont know. Others say i look weak and unmasculine. Others say to just be yourself or some other cliche. Etc.

Also keep in mind that three of my relationships lasted two years or more. So if i really repel women then how could three women stay with me for that long?

Anyhow, none of you are answering my question about why lisa would spin things against me like an enemy does. Why would a girlfriend do that? And why cant she be like other chinese girls i see out in public who are relaxed and happy with their boyfriends and not anxious or impatient or in a rush to get somewhere?

Lisa is definitely not fair or reasonable or clear headed or logical in her behavior and choices.

At some stage, I think she realized at a gut level that you didn't satisfy her, that something was missing. So she started acting like a hard to be with bitch, both out of resentment and maybe to make an excuse for you guys to break up as soon as possible.

Or maybe she didn't much enjoy the quite beach time with you in Xiamen or got bored of it quickly. So she wanted to change an environment quickly to see whether or not she would feel better.

[chanta76]

Winston,


I think you answer your own question. I didn't know LIsa was a divorce woman. Not saying all divorce women are messed up but it can be trouble dealing with a divorce woman. You only dated Lisa for 2 weeks...just take as a short tem experience and don't dwell on it too much.

If your female friends cannot help you how do you expect people online who never met you give you advice to help you. I mean I never met you but my impression of you is that you come out needy and any time a pretty girls comes your way your so quick to fall in love. I think at the same time just by reading your post I find that sometimes your very narcissistic and lack empathy. A trait that in the long will turn woman away but this is just by reading your post. Maybe in person your very different and have a thick skin from outside criticism and become quickly defensive .

[droid]

A few updates and additional points:

1. I never told you all this. But lisa wasnt loyal to me either. While i was away in Taiwan, she dated an indian guy and even slept with him. She confessed all this to me openly. So she said it didnt count as cheating. Most of my friends said not to take her back but i was madly in love and thought she was my soulmate. So i fought to win her back. Now she misses him and is trying to go back to him but hes had it with her.

2. I found a way to contact that Indian guy she was dating. When lisa found out, she freaked out and lost it. She wrote me a suicide note and acted hurt and betrayed. What a basketcase. Anyway i had a friendly chat with him and found out that lisa lied to both of us about many things. So she is fully capable of lying to suit her purpose.

Anyhow, none of you are answering my question about why lisa would spin things against me like an enemy does. Why would a girlfriend do that? And why cant she be like other chinese girls i see out in public who are relaxed and happy with their boyfriends and not anxious or impatient or in a rush to get somewhere?
Lisa is definitely not fair or reasonable or clear headed or logical in her behavior and choices.

I told you, it's a textbook case of BPD Borderline Personality Disorder, these other symptoms you describe match as well. The compulsive, shameless lying, the spinning or making-up of facts, the unfaithfulness and suicide threats all check.
You kept going back not just because of the love inspired by her "infatuation" with you, but also because your brain was trying to resolve the cognitive dissonance created by someone expressing deep "true" love for you while simultaneously engaging in open unfaithfulness.

You just have to remember you're not dealing with a human being, but rather with a virus or body-snatcher, there's really nobody upstairs and the wiring is all f*ked up. There is as much empathy in there as a lizard has for a moth.
That's why you feel mentally raped and even after "getting over it" you're still trying to find a logical resolution.

The usual advice is to run like hell from these women when the symptoms are identified, but this is not practical, good or healthy advice, because once you're snared it is very difficult. The only thing is to have the awareness of all this so a gradual and caring exit can be planned. You're lucky in that she "dumped" you suddenly, as they usually tend to cling.

So wheres the advice? That sounded like a pessimistic assessment. No advice was given. Whats your suggestion? I don't feel complete without a chinese woman. I cant just get a wife in the Philippines. Vietnam may be a possibility. But China has billions of women. There must be a good match for me somewhere.

Vietnam seems great, as I've posted before. It's just 19 year old after 19 year old expressing interest.
I'm tempted to skip China altogether.

The girl im talking to now and in love with, shes only 28 and her last boyfriend that she loved died in an accident. Thats why shes single. She never got over him. Until she met me that is. We connect in a deep way that makes us both feel alive and happy. And we have similar attitudes and views. Plus shes a hopeless romantic like me, which is rare because chinese women arent usually hopeless romantic types.

You seem to get invested too quickly, be careful you're not making the same mistake. That "deep" and fast connection can be very deceiving.
Why would she tell you about the guy that died so soon? talking about her past is kind of a red flag in my book, I don't like to hear about their previous crap.

[chanta76]

Winston has a problem in falling for a girl too quickly . Something tells me if i was hanging out with him he be always scoping out a new girl

[Winston]

From ethan_sg:

"Definitely disagree with posters on the forum saying that all unmarried Chinese women aged 27 and above plus all Chinese women you meet online are whacked. I personally know quite a few good quality single Chinese women aged 27 and above, just not suitable for me, but we're friends.

People like to oversimplify issues by making sweeping statements so as to come across as an experienced know-it-all who has all the answers to every question. In reality things aren't that simple. Truly knowledgeable people realize how complicated things actually are and don't try to prematurely draw conclusions using sweeping statements."

I fully agree. Btw i didnt meet lisa online. I met her at McDonald's in dongguan when i was with zboy.