Why do people get offended by international dating?

[mattyman]

I've been curious as to why people get so offended, sometimes hateful when people look to meet women from other countries.

I think it’s failry safe to say that the following unattractive traits are relatively more common amongst British women (especially so on council estates) and less common amongst women of other nationalities;

• Scowling faces

• Sleeping around (and believing it’s a sign of empowerment)

• Acting tough and aggressive

• Being anti-social and difficult to talk to

• Being overweight

• Having negative attitudes towards men; e.g. that all are after one thing

• Not sweet (after all, the feminist harpies tell them that it’s weak and degrading)

• Treating relationships like disposable objects

This is not the same as saying that all British women are this, all foreign women are that, but these traits are pretty common among them and relatively less so among women of most other nationalities. In fact these traits are so common, that negative stereotypes of British women that have the above traits are in existence. Now, it’s logical that one would want to look in places and among creeds in which women who don’t have the above characteristics are relatively more common. That's just common sense.

People possibly get offended because they believe the meme that all Russian and Thai women are mail order brides, that being sweet and feminine=being submissive to the 'patriarchy', that sleeping around and acting tough is a sign of empowerment. There's also negative stereotypes about men who find love in other natinalities. This is what I don't understand. I personally am happy for people who've found relationships. Who dislikes the thought of a lonely introverted hard working guy finding love? People who are spiteful, hateful and jealous and who hate seeing other people happy? Could people also feel personally threatened? Some people might know what their shortfalls are and don't want to confront them.

What about stereotypes of men who date internationally? One popular meme of the PC brigade is that men who do so just want easy women to have sex with. Why are there so many narrow-minded judgements? As an example, I mentioned Russian women on another site and how they were on average more graceful and feminine and guess what happened, someone quoted lines from the movie 'Taken' (trying to imply that anyone who's interested in women of other nationalities must be a creep), and other posters joined in saying 'that shut him up', Isn't this is typical social justice warrior behaviour? Why do people behave the way that they do? Is it just narrow minded prejudices? Is it an act of synthetic outrage designed to save the feelings of fat feminists, because such men want the approvla (because they're grovelling sycophants). Would be interested to hear your thoughts.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

It is usually Western women who become offended because anything that remotely suggests they are not the best of the best or the cream of the crop, is a hurtful blow to their egos. It's the, "How dare you have to go overseas to find women. You must be into pedophilia or sex tourism."

On the male side, it is usually men who have already married a Western land whale who will try to shame for dating abroad. These men are to be pitied more than anything else. And who is to blame them, agreeing that they married horrible women is a tough pill to swallow so one might as well fake that you are happy.

[fightforlove]

Dated a Mexican woman for a year and got almost as many weird stares and exchanges when I was with her in my native part of the USA as we did in Mexico. My family/friends didn't really comment/care, except for my mom who almost blew her lid at first when I told her I was dating a foreign woman.

One funny exchange: I met her on eharmony.com, we attended one of her American friend's wedding together in Texas. Met one of the bridesmaids, nice-looking Texas caucasian/american girl, she asks us "how did you guys meet?" We're like "eharmony.com". She's like "Oh, I signed up for that, but the personality questionnaire was so long, so I just gave up!" My thoughts on American women confirmed.

[Zambales]

With males, it's born out of jealousy. They're most likely stuck in a dead-end morbid relationship with a trashy western woman they can't get rid of.

With females, it's born out of entitlement, and like Contrarian stated, it's also hurtful to their ego's.

I tend to hear the "It's because you want a submissive woman who doesn't answer back" retort quite a bit.

Not exactly correct in my case. I want a loyal, feminine and appreciative woman with self-respect. Anyway, I laugh off their bitter jibes. It's the best way to deal with the situation.

[Jonny Law]

QUESTION? Why do people get offended by international dating?
ANSWER! Bitches will Bitch!

[MrMan]

With males, it's born out of jealousy. They're most likely stuck in a dead-end morbid relationship with a trashy western woman they can't get rid of.

There are so many kinds of relationships out there. If our posters insult American women to say they want to date abroad, they are insulting American males' country. Some people will defend the idea that America is the greatest in everything. I'd say when Gen X was young, it seemed like just about any American would defend that idea. Nowadays, not as much. Even so, some people take the superiority of the US as a given.

Also, a lot of men have bought in to feminism, egalitarianism, etc. They see the way things are in the US as the standard. They've been brainwashed by the media and society to think it is wrong to look for traditional women in other countries who aren't feminists, who aren't trying to be in charge, or whatever else it is.

I suspect some of themen who might oppose international dating may not be in relationships themselves at the moment. They may be in the early stages of new love, too, when everything seems great. Some of them may be married to or dating kind, beautiful women. They were able to find suitable partners. Why can't everyone else. 'Sour grapes' isn't the only scenario.

With females, it's born out of entitlement, and like Contrarian stated, it's also hurtful to their ego's.

That sounds pretty realistic. On another thread, Piers Morgan obnoxiously interviewed a man who was promoting finding a woman in eastern Europe rather than in Britian. Two women were there also. They quoted him as saying that British women were overweight and unattractive. He said that not all of them were. The women, of course, opposed this, because they were British women and did not want to be considered unattractive. One of them was pretty. The other had an okay face, but was several pounds overweight and did not like his comments on the weight of British women.

There is also a degree of racism or ethnocentrism that may be at work. I've seen some episodes of 90 day fiance, where some people think any Latin American or Filippino woman must be after white American men for a greencard. It's a stereotype of what foreigners are like. It's part of the same thing I mentioned before, nationalism for America. America is supposed to be the greatest, and people from other countries aren't considered to be as good.

I tend to hear the "It's because you want a submissive woman who doesn't answer back" retort quite a bit.

This is a racial or cultural stereotype. If an American woman says this about someone of another race, you could one-up her by accusing her of racism. Ethnocentrism doesn't have quite the sting.

Or you could agree with her. "Yes, I want a submissive woman. You American women are too pushy and opinionated." But that's stereotyping, and probably the sort of thing they are responding to.

If you actually have a woman overseas interested in you, will most American women comment on it negatively like this? If you say, "My girlfriend lives in the Philippines. I am going there to visit her." do American women really care about that? Unless the woman you are talking to is infatuated with you and jealous of the girlfriend, will she say anything like that.

But if you say, "I am going to the Philippines to find a girl because American women are either fat or mentally ill," then they'd get defensive. Sure, there will be the nosey, obnoxious woman, occasionally, who wants to air her opinion that she thinks it's unwise to date someone from a certain country or that it's wrong for an older man to date a young woman at the peak of her beauty and fertility. And yes, the 35-year-old never married or divorced feminist may feel threatened by the American man choosing the 20-year-old submissive, sweet, non-feminist foreign girl.

If it's a grandmother, aunt, or mother saying these things, of course they share there opinions. But if mom says, "Why can't you find a nice girl in the US?" just say, "Okay, mom, can you set me up with a sweet, mentally stable virgin who is under 135 pounds with no tattoos or substance abuse problems that I'm attracted to?" That may just shut her up. If not, add some more adjectives.

Not exactly correct in my case. I want a loyal, feminine and appreciative woman with self-respect. Anyway, I laugh off their bitter jibes. It's the best way to deal with the situation.

Who gives you a hard time about it? Are these relatives, people at work, or what? Do you complain about American women in these conversations?

[Mercury]

Bullies really hate being defeated. And America is a bullyous culture just itching to torment guys. Every time an American man leaves America to find love, that's one less man for American women to trample, crush, and bully to death.

[Zambales]

With males, it's born out of jealousy. They're most likely stuck in a dead-end morbid relationship with a trashy western woman they can't get rid of.

There are so many kinds of relationships out there. If our posters insult American women to say they want to date abroad, they are insulting American males' country. Some people will defend the idea that America is the greatest in everything. I'd say when Gen X was young, it seemed like just about any American would defend that idea. Nowadays, not as much. Even so, some people take the superiority of the US as a given.

Also, a lot of men have bought in to feminism, egalitarianism, etc. They see the way things are in the US as the standard. They've been brainwashed by the media and society to think it is wrong to look for traditional women in other countries who aren't feminists, who aren't trying to be in charge, or whatever else it is.

I suspect some of themen who might oppose international dating may not be in relationships themselves at the moment. They may be in the early stages of new love, too, when everything seems great. Some of them may be married to or dating kind, beautiful women. They were able to find suitable partners. Why can't everyone else. 'Sour grapes' isn't the only scenario.

With females, it's born out of entitlement, and like Contrarian stated, it's also hurtful to their ego's.

That sounds pretty realistic. On another thread, Piers Morgan obnoxiously interviewed a man who was promoting finding a woman in eastern Europe rather than in Britian. Two women were there also. They quoted him as saying that British women were overweight and unattractive. He said that not all of them were. The women, of course, opposed this, because they were British women and did not want to be considered unattractive. One of them was pretty. The other had an okay face, but was several pounds overweight and did not like his comments on the weight of British women.

There is also a degree of racism or ethnocentrism that may be at work. I've seen some episodes of 90 day fiance, where some people think any Latin American or Filippino woman must be after white American men for a greencard. It's a stereotype of what foreigners are like. It's part of the same thing I mentioned before, nationalism for America. America is supposed to be the greatest, and people from other countries aren't considered to be as good.

I tend to hear the "It's because you want a submissive woman who doesn't answer back" retort quite a bit.

This is a racial or cultural stereotype. If an American woman says this about someone of another race, you could one-up her by accusing her of racism. Ethnocentrism doesn't have quite the sting.

Or you could agree with her. "Yes, I want a submissive woman. You American women are too pushy and opinionated." But that's stereotyping, and probably the sort of thing they are responding to.

If you actually have a woman overseas interested in you, will most American women comment on it negatively like this? If you say, "My girlfriend lives in the Philippines. I am going there to visit her." do American women really care about that? Unless the woman you are talking to is infatuated with you and jealous of the girlfriend, will she say anything like that.

But if you say, "I am going to the Philippines to find a girl because American women are either fat or mentally ill," then they'd get defensive. Sure, there will be the nosey, obnoxious woman, occasionally, who wants to air her opinion that she thinks it's unwise to date someone from a certain country or that it's wrong for an older man to date a young woman at the peak of her beauty and fertility. And yes, the 35-year-old never married or divorced feminist may feel threatened by the American man choosing the 20-year-old submissive, sweet, non-feminist foreign girl.

If it's a grandmother, aunt, or mother saying these things, of course they share there opinions. But if mom says, "Why can't you find a nice girl in the US?" just say, "Okay, mom, can you set me up with a sweet, mentally stable virgin who is under 135 pounds with no tattoos or substance abuse problems that I'm attracted to?" That may just shut her up. If not, add some more adjectives.

Not exactly correct in my case. I want a loyal, feminine and appreciative woman with self-respect. Anyway, I laugh off their bitter jibes. It's the best way to deal with the situation.

Who gives you a hard time about it? Are these relatives, people at work, or what? Do you complain about American women in these conversations?

The Piers Morgan interview with the dating guru was a poor attempt at counteracting his views on British women. Morgan & his cohorts didn't have anything resounding to bring to the debate. They only pointed out that not all British women were fat like you say but that's kind of obvious. One of the women did try and shift the blame onto the guru for having standards and preferences which did make her look quite foolish. Doesn't she have any of her own?

As for my experience with women who have sarcastically commented on me dating abroad - it's only had happened a couple of times and that's with ex girlfriends.

I do notice quite a bit of animosity on various forums where there's a major female presence though if the subject gets brought up. One time I encouraged a disconsolate male to date abroad and for my troubles I was warned by a moderator about my behaviour. Needless to say I don't bother with that forum anymore.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

Bullies really hate being defeated. And America is a bullyous culture just itching to torment guys. Every time an American man leaves America to find love, that's one less man for American women to trample, crush, and bully to death.

Nicely put.... Men going abroad for women (and wealth) is the ultimate HACK to gynocentric society so ridicule and scorn are the only weapons government, women, and SJWs have to bully you into reconsideration.

After wall, slavers can't just have slaves opting to leave the plantations without any pushback!

[Yohan]

It is usually Western women who become offended because anything that remotely suggests they are not the best of the best or the cream of the crop, is a hurtful blow to their egos. It's the, "How dare you have to go overseas to find women. You must be into pedophilia or sex tourism."

On the male side, it is usually men who have already married a Western land whale who will try to shame for dating abroad. These men are to be pitied more than anything else. And who is to blame them, agreeing that they married horrible women is a tough pill to swallow so one might as well fake that you are happy.

This is exactly what I wanted to write until I read your comment. Exactly the same.

'Dating international' means for many grossly misinformed people who consider USA as their paradise to look out for a female slave from abroad or so, feminists even made it up to create restrictions for Western men who are using introduction services for meeting foreign women.

They think - misguided by feminism, sometimes also by racism - that every woman abroad MUST be poor, but this is really not the case anymore.

Nowadays many countries offer a living standard at least equal to those in the United States. For feminists a foreign wife is a 'valid' reason to use shaming language to talk bad about men in general.

The situation is better in Europe, people are traveling often to abroad, everybody has a passport - it is not difficult to bring a foreign woman into Europe for marriage.

I never had a real problem in Europe, I received feminist hateful comments only from USA regarding my marriage and my children.

For example,
my Japanese wife was never poorer than myself, nevertheless this must be a mail-order bride,
we are of almost same age, she is about 8 inch smaller than me, this must be pedophilia,
racist comments are often created by Asian-Americans against white men, like the white man is stealing our women, or the white father creates worthless mixed race children and should be beaten up for doing this - and similar BS.

I don't care and I see no reason why I should.

I think, there is more social acceptance for white/Asian relationship compared to white/black or Asian/black relationship in USA.

I guess, it's more difficult to be accepted by Western society as a white man from USA who is looking for a black woman than as an European man to look out for an Asian wife. Just my opinion. Situation about 'local man, foreign wife' is not everywhere the same.

It's not only about foreign wife, race plays also a certain role in USA.

About ourselves, as a white man and Japanese wife living in Asia,we never faced any problems in Japan or in any other Asian countries.

[Adama]

It's quite simple. Women must be liberated to do absolutely anything they want without criticism, and they must rule over the man. So if a man says he wants a woman who is submissive, or who isn't feminist oriented, that's like saying he wants to put women into bondage. In their worldview, to have women in submission to men is the same as being a rapist of children, worse than being a homosexual, and up there with murderers. Or so they want to brainwash themselves to believe.

The other thing is, i't not important what other people believe. Many people believe in self serving lies that pump up their egos. If you don't subscribe to that same lie, then you're the enemy of their egos, which means you will be destroyed. It doesn't matter what they think. Because they only care about themselves. They don't care about you. Really they are directly hating you.

[MrMan]

The last place I lived a long time in the US had a lot of people who were mixed race with Asian, so it was representative of the US. I'm married to an Asian woman, but I don't think I have faced any nasty looks, comments, or criticism over it.

The most negative thing I can think of facing myself was a hefty expat white girl in Indonesia who had never met my wife but basically said to be careful that she wasn't a gold digger, or hinted at it. I heard she'd had a boyfriend who used her for money from one of her former friends. This lady was rather outspoken and hard to get along with.

Before I'd ever been to Asia, my grandmother said Asian women look really pretty when they are young, but she'd never seen an old Asian woman who looked pretty. I thought white women aren't pretty when they are old either, so what does it matter? But I didn't say that to my elderly white grandmother.

But I did not tell Americans that I was going to Asia to find a wife. I went over for a job and found my wife while I was there.

So I am wondering what the context is with people speaking ill of international dating? Who has experienced this? In the context of what kind of conversation? Is this stuff your best friends or mother say? If it's just some white American woman who isn't related to you saying this stuff, why are you even talking to her about it? What business is it of yours?

If you say all or most of the women in the US are fat, ugly, have bad attitudes, etc., of course that is insulting to American women you say that to, and if you say that to a white man, you are insulting his grandma, wife, mother, sisters, daughters, girlfriend, etc. Why say that? If someone asks why you are flying to Russia or Southeast Asia or Korea or whatever to find a girlfriend or to meet one you are dating online, do you get these kind of negative comments?

Maybe things have changed since Gen-X, but I can't imagine most people, when I was a young man, having negative comments to make about a man going to Asia to spend time with a girlfriend who lived there. Are people just a lot more nosey and outspoken these days? Are these your relatives and close friends giving you feedback on your dating choices? That makes a little more sense as a context for these comments. If you don't insult the people you are talking to or their loved ones, then do they react negatively?

[MrMan]

This is exactly what I wanted to write until I read your comment. Exactly the same.

'Dating international' means for many grossly misinformed people who consider USA as their paradise to look out for a female slave from abroad or so, feminists even made it up to create restrictions for Western men who are using introduction services for meeting foreign women.

They think - misguided by feminism, sometimes also by racism - that every woman abroad MUST be poor, but this is really not the case anymore.

Is it hard core feminists who are criticizing the readers here for dating or wanting to date overseas?

Why hang around hard core feminists or talk to them? Why share this part of your life with them? Unless you live with your mom who is a hard-core feminists, why would this conversation come up.

If it did, and she started saying this stuff, just tell her it sounds like she is a snobby racist who thinks all Asians, Latinas, must be poor greedy people trying to get into the US. That may just shut her up. Lefties do not like to be racists. If you use women from Africa as an example, that makes her sound even more racist.

[tom]

The most negative thing I can think of facing myself was a hefty expat white girl in Indonesia who had never met my wife but basically said to be careful that she wasn't a gold digger, or hinted at it.

I have seen similar. The worst are women who have had little durable success with men and no children, there are a lot of these feminist out there. They will make up all kinds of negative tear you down kind of things, they do not want others have success in love, yet they are preoccupied with phallogocentric envy. They have a reputation like the worst of catholic school nuns, they enjoy being cruel and sadistic to others. What these women most need to know is where they least want to look.

[jamesbond]

It is usually Western women who become offended because anything that remotely suggests they are not the best of the best or the cream of the crop, is a hurtful blow to their egos. It's the, "How dare you have to go overseas to find women. You must be into pedophilia or sex tourism."

On the male side, it is usually men who have already married a Western land whale who will try to shame for dating abroad. These men are to be pitied more than anything else. And who is to blame them, agreeing that they married horrible women is a tough pill to swallow so one might as well fake that you are happy.

Men who date or marry women from foreign countries are shamed by western men and women, I think out of jealously mostly. The western women are jealous that the women from non western countries are feminine, attractive and friendly. The western men are jealous of men who go overseas to meet women because these western men are already married to fat and ugly western women.