Three Types of Dating Scenes in America

[Fenix]

I was thinking about this today. There are three different American dating scenes. I am going to break it down as logical as possible. If you agree or disagree, please chime in. I just noticed...

1. The regular, everyday guy that has no problems getting women. I am 26, but turn 27 in December and the majority of the guys I went to school with have at least a girlfriend. Many of them have a wife and kids. These men do not pull the PUA bullshit. They usually find women that have the same interests as them.

2. The men that couldn't get a woman to save their lives, but became a PUA guru or began doing PUA to game women. They use PUA to snag women or develop game techniques to get money from guys that can't get a woman in bed.

3. Men that can't get any dates at all, and they have no solution whatsoever. They have tried everything. PUA, change of appearance, job change, enrolling in aerobics, yoga, getting a degree, etc. Nothing seems to work.

About #1

I have noticed this so much over the years just thinking about it. White, Latino, black, etc. no matter what race my friends are, they usually can get a date. Sometimes, even I can vouch for this, it seems like the men that have success with foreign women and see how easy it is to get a foreign woman is similar to how some American men get American women. I remember in 2004 when I was in vocational school and I saw this fine white girl around the way. This particular day, I knew we were going to talk. So, the whole school has a power outage and they all take us to see a movie. I talk to this girl on the bus and we flirt in the parking lot of the movie theater. She asked, "How come you didn't just come up to me?" I replied, "I don't know." She said, "Well, you could have just said something!" It was that easy. All I had to do was come up to her and say I liked her or what not. It wasn't even 10 minutes after the initial conversation in the parking lot that she asked me to sit by her in the movie. Moments later, I grabbed her hand and I held it. I was rubbing her hand and she was rubbing mine. Long story short, she wanted to go back to the movies the next night and we did. She freaking asked me out herself. The same thing happened, held hands the whole time, but we were touching each other's private parts and you know the rest...I feel many American men have it easy with the women here.

Another example I have been noticing now is how teenage boys get girls. It takes little effort. I am not saying all of them have dates, but the white teenage boys I know usually have many girls. I just think there are so many dynamics in America where guy A can get girls easily, no matter how he looks and guy B can't get a girl and he is good looking, has a nice car, etc. Many of the men don't have money, job or a place. I know when I didn't have a job or any money, I still had flings with girls. So, I just wanted to point this out to you guys.

It is a strange place huh? This is more of your observation of your surroundings than anything. I know what I see. This is probably why men find it hard to believe some of my stories and how I find it hard to believe some of you guys horror stories with American women. It is just personal experience and observation. This is what I think is true. Three types of dating scenes in America. I can't think of any others.

Someone said this, I don't know if it was on here or not, but someone said that the American men that have no problem getting American women are not going to just boycott them. Why? Anyway, that's all I have to say.

[Truthville]

Hmmmm........

I actually never had a problem getting woman, the problem I always have had is keeping them!

They have always pursued me, and so

My standards are high. I'm too "picky" friends have always said. BUT not in the way you might think.

For me, and I've been thinking about this lately, there are two conditions that have to be present in order for me to "love" a woman and want to actual "pursue" her.

TRUST and RESPECT.

I have met very few woman in the US that would fulfill ONE of these conditions, let alone both of them. The few I have met were ALWAYS already taken.

To most guys I've known, these 2 qualifiers have no bearing on there selection of a woman. Hence, most of my married friends are miserable.

Of course, physical beauty and what-not are factors, BUT in the long run, beauty will age or you will get bored with it. If you have nothing else between you EXCEPT physical attraction, then I don't see how a relationship can not only grow but survive.

PUA is a bunch of B.S. in my opinion. It's shallow jerks trying to "hook up" with shallow bimbos. Hey, if that's you thing, more power to ya BUT changing who you are in order to attract women seems silly, immature, and p***y-like to me.



Phoenix, I agree with your post EXCEPT the teen-age boy thing. When you are in school, you have a ready made dating pool to dip into. Also, most women STILL only will date teen-age boys that are a part of their "cliche." Ihave seen this carry on into Adulthood. In my social "circle," that I'm really not a part of anymore, all the woman will only date or are married to people they knew or knew of in High School. No strangers allowed! IF you don't know someone within the social circle you ain't getting in! I believe this is true through-out America, not just where I'm at.

TruthVille

[well-informed]

I remember high school being fun for me. I was kind of like a jock on the baseball team and i would tease girls, make fun of them, pull their bra-straps back randomly. I would get dates here and there, and overall had a positive experience. Aaah i miss those days.

In HS the dating pool is right there in the kisser, it's just that girls especially teenage ones don't think logically. And as they get older they still don't lol. The guys that should be successful "on paper" aren't because they don't really understand girls. Not that i'm an expert or anything, but i've seen what the bad guy and nice guy gets in comparison.

The big elephant on the room is... how american girls refuse to admit openly that thugs/bad men keep getting the p***y. While the nice guy has to go through hula-hoops to get it.

- I disagree that American men have it easy with the women here. You are just on a whole different reality than the demographic when it comes to dating, i think.

[Fenix]

I remember high school being fun for me. I was kind of like a jock on the baseball team and i would tease girls, make fun of them, pull their bra-straps back randomly. I would get dates here and there, and overall had a positive experience. Aaah i miss those days.

In HS the dating pool is right there in the kisser, it's just that girls especially teenage ones don't think logically. And as they get older they still don't lol. The guys that should be successful "on paper" aren't because they don't really understand girls. Not that i'm an expert or anything, but i've seen what the bad guy and nice guy gets in comparison.

The big elephant on the room is... how american girls refuse to admit openly that thugs/bad men keep getting the p***y. While the nice guy has to go through hula-hoops to get it.

- I disagree that American men have it easy with the women here. You are just on a whole different reality than the demographic when it comes to dating, i think.

I said some American men have it easy with American women like American men have it easy with foreign women. I know many of my guy friends that date women and they do it with no effort. Either they get approached or he approaches the girl. No PUA, just simple conversation. Easy as pie. Are these relationships successful? Some are. I am the same way too. Went to Walmart a few months ago and I remember two white girls were playing with swords. They both were staring at me and I stared back. I looked back as I was pushing my cart and they were still staring at me. This is in America. I can only imagine what would happen somewhere else.

This is just my experience and observation though.

I agree with you, Truthville. Social circle is key to men's success here. American dating scene is the most peculiar I have ever seen.

Before you ask, I will answer: How come you are going to overseas if you have it so good with American women?

I am a proud atheist and America has blind atheism hate and discrimination. No one talks about it at all. I also don't want to have kids or get married. 90% of the women I know want to get married someday. All of them want a kid. 73% of the population is Christian.

My ex-girlfriend (Mexican girl) moved to Spain because she got a lucrative job there so I would be with her if it wasn't for that, but I didn't want move to Spain. She didn't care about me being atheist, but she was a rare gem anyway. My best friend (white girl and she's atheist) is the girl I want to be with the most, but she is married to a guy I don't like. So, both of the girls I care so much about moved away from me and the only way for me to find atheistic women is either online or to go to Europe, which I am planning on doing and not looking back.

[skateboardstephen]

i think my problem also was keeping the girls i got.i have got sex from girls but not many i slept with like 10 and i'm 27 that's not a lot.and the ones that i attract are trash.i could never get the ones that i wanted.women in south america always say im good looking and i can get them talking with me for quite a bit but i can't get an american women in a conversation more than 2 minutes. mabey it's just me because i can come off sort of dorky even though i can smoke weed party and act a fool i know whats up but i don't have the thug look i'm not a big guy 5,9 and lean. american women seem to be obsessed with men who look intimidating to other men.phoenix you with out a doubt fall into the intimidating look even though you say you are not the thug type you saw my face book you had to have and you can see what i'm talking about i will entertain the idea that it's just me but why don't brasilian or chilean women have the same negative response to me why is it that they find me attractive my wife doesn't even want me in brasil because she told me there would be to many women after me and she doesn't want to be bothered with it.

[well-informed]

I think you told me before personally about you being atheist. You're right about aitheism it has no place in the US. Even though i'm tired of the hypocrisy of most Christians/Catholics. I'm Catholic myself but i can see why you think God doesn't exist. I think i have 1-2 atheist friends and i judge them on who they as friends, not in what they believe in.

I don't know if you're asking Truthville or me, but i don't have it so good with American Women. I get girls here and there, but i struggle to find quality nice girls that i'm attracted to (since i'm not really a bad person myself). Whenever i go to DR it's a whole different story though lol

I'm not really focused on having a relationship at this point to be honest. I transferred to a private college just recently, so i'm excited about that. I should graduate with little to no-debt because of my financial aid-packages and the support of my mom. I'm trying to major in something i can use to build income in a different country. Obviously freelancing is an alternative i can use for the future if i would need to. Thanks for the help with that.

I've seen so many of my male friends and family members go through so many bad relationships. Divorces here and there, child support payments flying everywhere, living with someone they're not attracted to. I care too much about myself to go through these messed up relationships with these unfeminine women, that's why i want to move out as soon as i can. Also to achieve happiness as a male in the US is becoming more and more difficult these days :/

[Fenix]

i think my problem also was keeping the girls i got.i have got sex from girls but not many i slept with like 10 and i'm 27 that's not a lot.and the ones that i attract are trash.i could never get the ones that i wanted.women in south america always say im good looking and i can get them talking with me for quite a bit but i can't get an american women in a conversation more than 2 minutes. mabey it's just me because i can come off sort of dorky even though i can smoke weed party and act a fool i know whats up but i don't have the thug look i'm not a big guy 5,9 and lean. american women seem to be obsessed with men who look intimidating to other men.phoenix you with out a doubt fall into the intimidating look even though you say you are not the thug type you saw my face book you had to have and you can see what i'm talking about i will entertain the idea that it's just me but why don't brasilian or chilean women have the same negative response to me why is it that they find me attractive my wife doesn't even want me in brasil because she told me there would be to many women after me and she doesn't want to be bothered with it.

Thank you for confirming again about my looks! You are like the 4th person this week that has said I look intimidating. I talked to one of my friends about this too. Dude, that's a good thing! I mean, women in America would not say you don't need to come to North Carolina because the women would attack you lol. Yes, I have seen your pictures. We are around the same height.

[Fenix]

I think you told me before personally about you being atheist. You're right about aitheism it has no place in the US. Even though i'm tired of the hypocrisy of most Christians/Catholics. I'm Catholic myself but i can see why you think God doesn't exist. I think i have 1-2 atheist friends and i judge them on who they as friends, not in what they believe in.

I don't know if you're asking Truthville or me, but i don't have it so good with American Women. I get girls here and there, but i struggle to find quality nice girls that i'm attracted to (since i'm not really a bad person myself). Whenever i go to DR it's a whole different story though lol

I'm not really focused on having a relationship at this point to be honest. I transferred to a private college just recently, so i'm excited about that. I should graduate with little to no-debt because of my financial aid-packages and the support of my mom. I'm trying to major in something i can use to build income in a different country. Obviously freelancing is an alternative i can use for the future if i would need to. Thanks for the help with that.

I've seen so many of my male friends and family members go through so many bad relationships. Divorces here and there, child support payments flying everywhere, living with someone they're not attracted to. I care too much about myself to go through these messed up relationships with these unfeminine women, that's why i want to move out as soon as i can. Also to achieve happiness as a male in the US is becoming more and more difficult these days :/

I am at a point that I don't want to f**k with American women anymore either. I need to focus on preparing for living abroad and getting more freelance jobs under my belt, learning Danish, etc. It doesn't help when more women are cheating more than men are. Divorce you for not taking out the trash. Call the cops on you, but she is punching your lights out and you go to jail (I have heard stories like this).

[E_Irizarry]

...why don't brasilian women have the same negative response to me why is it that they find me attractive my wife doesn't even want me in brasil because she told me there would be to many women after me and she doesn't want to be bothered with it.

I wonder if they would chase after me? =-)

I think you told me before personally about you being atheist. You're right about aitheism it has no place in the US. Even though i'm tired of the hypocrisy of most Christians/Catholics. I'm Catholic myself but i can see why you think God doesn't exist. I think i have 1-2 atheist friends and i judge them on who they as friends, not in what they believe in.

I don't know if you're asking Truthville or me, but i don't have it so good with American Women. I get girls here and there, but i struggle to find quality nice girls that i'm attracted to (since i'm not really a bad person myself). Whenever i go to DR it's a whole different story though lol

I'm not really focused on having a relationship at this point to be honest. I transferred to a private college just recently, so i'm excited about that. I should graduate with little to no-debt because of my financial aid-packages and the support of my mom. I'm trying to major in something i can use to build income in a different country. Obviously freelancing is an alternative i can use for the future if i would need to. Thanks for the help with that.

I've seen so many of my male friends and family members go through so many bad relationships. Divorces here and there, child support payments flying everywhere, living with someone they're not attracted to. I care too much about myself to go through these messed up relationships with these unfeminine women, that's why i want to move out as soon as i can. Also to achieve happiness as a male in the US is becoming more and more difficult these days :/

Pa el futuro, tu y yo deberiamos a irnos a la republica dominicana pa las mujeres abusadoras y las cogeremos! We would freak it down there. I am always trying to holler at some "en linea/conectadas a la Web".

I have assumed you feel that even Quisqueyas that live in NYC/NJ or Florida for awhile become "corrompidas"?

[E_Irizarry]

I am at a point that I don't want to f**k with American women anymore either. I need to focus on preparing for living abroad and getting more freelance jobs under my belt, learning Danish, etc. It doesn't help when more women are cheating more than men are. Divorce you for not taking out the trash. Call the cops on you, but she is punching your lights out and you go to jail (I have heard stories like this).

Don't ever forget it! Real talk.

[Truthville]

What I have found when it comes to the American "dating" scene, and this is just my experience, is that you really have to fulfill and maintain the cultural illusions that the AW believe about men today.

1.)Men are dogs! Women, not matter what they say, love the "ManDog!" He's attractive to other women, he makes her feel sexy/beautiful/wanted by "humping" on her all the time, and he growls at her often so she can maintain the fantasy playing in her head about "changing" him for the better. He is all "bark" and no "bite" since she knows she holds the leash.

2.)Men are stupid. Women really love this one! In fact, I am finding it increasing rare to find a AW whom will date "up" intellectually! If you show her you are smarter than her, she will leave or engage in petty power struggles in order to prove her "superiority" to you. It's tiring.

3.)Men are dangerous! Women love the men whom they THINK are dangerous. I'm sure most of you know, or should know by now, is that most men whom are bullies or act "tough" usually are all words and no actions. Sure they can "growl" with the best of them, but when it comes to actually "fighting?" Ha! I was always taught to look out for the "quiet" guys whom don't advertise how tough they are. Also, I think some women like having a "dangerous" man on a leash so to speak, so they can "unleash" him purely at their whim like some kind of retarded pit bull. "Honey, that guy they just look at me funny, go kick ass and I'll give you a biscuit later!"

I'm sure you guys could think of more. It just seems like, IMHO, that women, because of all the cultural/media messages they absorb, want to always be in control and run the show! I can't stand that! I won't stand that! I don't need to be the boss of anyone else, I'm content with being the boss of me!

As far as the religion thing goes, I'm a Buddhist of a sort BUT I work with hard-core Christians and a few Muslims. As long as they respect my spiritual journey, I respect theirs. Some have tried to convert me a little, BUT I just laugh them off. I don't see how being a atheist is really a big deal Phoenix? I mean, have people really got on you about it?

And I'm with you Phoenix! I am working of something, in my case my old house, and I'm almost done! Next spring I'm going to be selling it, moving out of the city, and hopefully next fall being taking a 3-month leave from work to travel. I admit to getting a little anxious to get and go already, BUT good things come to those who wait, right gentlemen?

[Fenix]

Yeah, being atheist is really bad. I am a type of person that doesn't give a shit. I tell people how I feel. I am highly opinionated. Black people are the worst when it comes to judging me on atheism. This has always been the case with me: I am held to a higher standard than other people. If I do something, it's a big deal and if another person does it it is okay and no one cares. It's normal. I am sick of being judged for everything I do in America. I honestly cannot win. If I am quiet, that means I don't have vocal cords and I can't talk. If I do talk, I don't talk enough.

Oh yeah, people always are trying to run my life. I don't have a driver's license and I don't plan on getting one any time soon so I am being told I need to get one. Like I am being forced to get one. I hate being restricted and I hate when people try to force me to do something I don't want to do. Americans always worry about what the f**k you are doing, but have no clue on how to run their own lives. It's much easier to worry about your life and try to give advice. Another reason why I hate Americans. They are always in your business and never seem to want to worry about their own business.

[djfourmoney]

Yeah, being atheist is really bad. I am a type of person that doesn't give a shit. I tell people how I feel. I am highly opinionated. Black people are the worst when it comes to judging me on atheism. This has always been the case with me: I am held to a higher standard than other people. If I do something, it's a big deal and if another person does it it is okay and no one cares. It's normal. I am sick of being judged for everything I do in America. I honestly cannot win. If I am quiet, that means I don't have vocal cords and I can't talk. If I do talk, I don't talk enough.

Oh yeah, people always are trying to run my life. I don't have a driver's license and I don't plan on getting one any time soon so I am being told I need to get one. Like I am being forced to get one. I hate being restricted and I hate when people try to force me to do something I don't want to do. Americans always worry about what the f**k you are doing, but have no clue on how to run their own lives. It's much easier to worry about your life and try to give advice. Another reason why I hate Americans. They are always in your business and never seem to want to worry about their own business.

Well to be honest, if you want less drama, keep being atheist to yourself. When you announce something like that in a country that claims its Christian out of one side of its mouth, while on the other side says there's a separation of church and state, it just asking for an argument. This country is full of Evangelical and they feel empowered to try to change people that aren't with them in faith. Like I said, you're asking for friction, so if you claim to not like drama but say your Atheist, you my friend like DRAMA.

I would say get a license only because public transportation is horrible everywhere but Portland, Ore on the West Coast and women like to use that against you. If you can't drive that's one thing. If you never learned how to drive, that's another. But you're talking to a car person I can't begin to understand why you wouldn't want a license and wouldn't want your own car. I also don't understand why people buy appliances either (cars for point a to b, uninteresting, boring and ugly), but that's another thread.

Being debt free is more freedom than anything the Government can ensure. Don't owe anybody money save for MAYBE your Mortgage and MAYBE a car payment. Otherwise, there's no reason to carry thousands of dollars worth of credit card debt.

[Fenix]

I don't like drama. I try to be honest with people. I am not going to sit here and tell people I am Christian and I am not. Yep, I make the same mistake by giving them free ammo to judge me.

I am not a car person. I rather walk, take the bus or ride a bike. That's just me. I am going to get a license when I want to get one, but I am not getting a car. Anyone can drive.

Arizona bus transit gets me anywhere I want to go. I get a $55 monthly bus pass. I rather have a bus pass than pay for gas, car note, car insurance, and other shit that goes with paying for a car. One less thing I have to worry about. Be smart.

I am not a victim. I don't play that blame game shit. I wanted to add that when I lived by myself, I only had one bill and that was rent. I lived at an apartment where utilities, rent and Internet were together. I make a lot of money a month so subtract taxes and food, I have loads of money saved. I am not going to get a car and all of that shit that I don't need. I don't want to go through the hassle of getting a car and then go to Europe and have to do all of that shit with the car. Not wasting time or money on that.

My philosophy is pretty much this, I want to spend my money on myself or save it not spend it on bullshit I don't need. I can make a brand new thread on how I budget.

[Winston]

Phoenix Sosa,
What commonalities have you noticed within these three types of dating scenes? I mean, why are some guys in one category and not the other? Any patterns you've noticed?

I get the sense that people who fit best in America are on a different wavelength, one that I can't really attune to for some reason. They have that attitude that "dumb is cool". It is an attitude that runs contrary to mine. So I'm just not on the same wavelength. There are nice people in America, but they are either guys, old people, or chubby women. But never decent looking women. I also don't feel a sense of inclusiveness in America, unless I'm in a church or religious cult meeting.