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True Freedom = No Job, Marriage, Children or Mortgage

Discuss deep philosophical topics and questions.

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Winston
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Post by Winston » July 28th, 2011, 5:54 pm

onezero4u wrote:godam you write long post sometimes Winston!!

what i read made perfect sense...

however, total freedom is illusionary, if you want to be free of a job...you better be born into a rich-ass family with generous parents...or else you have to live off the land or handouts...both of which are time and energy intensive.

youre best bet is to stay single & childless and get a good paying job overseas which you like...then travel around when you can
Or you can seek self-employment or be a freelance writer like Phoenix Sosa.

Of course you can't have total freedom. You are always bound by environmental factors. But we are speaking of degrees here. A person free of 2 of the 4 primary areas is freer than most people are, and certainly freer than those enslaved by all 4 areas of life. Right?

So becoming more and more free is something you have to strive for.

I have a question. Do any of you know anyone else who has the same concept of true freedom that I do? If so, what did that person end up doing with their life?
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Post by Winston » August 4th, 2011, 11:04 pm

Here is another take on true freedom, by a Jamaican expat in China who is trying to help people turn their passion into profit and break out of the rat race so they can live a simpler freer life abroad.

http://blogs.jamaicans.com/jamaicaninch ... edom-than/

He and I have been corresponding and he may be posting here soon.
Check out my FUN video clips in Russia and Female Encounters of the Foreign Kind video series and Full Russia Trip Videos!

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Post by S_Parc » August 5th, 2011, 6:02 am

Winston, I'm going to simplify this .... it's really about the Benjamins.

For example, many doctors earns some $200-400K/yr. But then, why do they need to buy a $1+ million dollar home in some posh suburb of Boston, NYC, or LA? They could live in let's say northern VT, buy a small pad for $200K with a 3 yr mortgage, and then bank everything else they make, drive an hour to Montreal and boink hot French-Canadian women. After a decade, they could either retire or cut their work to a few consulting hours, and still be able to make ends meet.

You see ... they fall for the golden handcuffs and society's constant brainwashing.

So yes, you're on the right track. Focus on your business, earn money independently, and don't be society's bitch.
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Post by Winston » August 6th, 2011, 8:18 am

Check out this insightful response to my essay from the David Icke forums.

http://forum.davidicke.com/showthread.p ... 577&page=2
If he just wrote "me me me" we wouldn't gain any insight into how his mind operates. He's actually given detailed reasons for his self-centered lifestyle, and I appreciate that. He's right that many of the things that are expected of us are just traps to usurp our freedom. However, it's important to note that the things we desire aren't necessarily the traps, but rather the bait to lure us into the trap that the system has set-up. The system restricts our freedom to acquire these things, they make us get stuck in their traps in order to get what we want. The brainwashing also helps to ensure people conform.


work, property, and family can be great things. Each takes responsibility and commitment. The irresponsible among us decided to make their living by coming up with schemes rather than earning their way through life honorably.

A mortgage is a trap designed to lure in those who have the understandable desire to own their own property. They've restricted people's freedom to build their own property, and most wouldn't know how to build property even if they were allowed. So they buy overpriced property that they also have to pay taxes on. The system takes a desire of ours that we could once obtain and forces us into bondage in order to obtain it.


It's the same with work. We've been sold on a 40+ hour work week with bosses who threaten your livelihood if you don't meet their standards. People wind up doing things they hate just to maintain a lifestyle within the system. The careers that make the most money are often the most soulless jobs that are available. banker, ceo, politician, celebrity,news personality, etc. These are careers that encourage people to trade their empathy and compassion for money fame power etc.. They look to sell a false reality to the people. a reality that helps to create and maintain the insecurities of the public. These insecurities are essential to keeping the system going. The public can't be allowed to be completely satisfied with who they are and where they are in life.

Then you have the enforcement jobs which attract misguided good-doers, power hungry sociopaths, and money chasing scumbags. These jobs are there to make sure you stay in line. To protect and serve the system, not you. There's no room for compassion, just following orders even if the orders contradict their own common sense or morals. Law enforcement, lawyers, soldiers, government jobs, etc.. are some examples of these types of jobs.


The traps set-up around work and property ensnare many people, and these people are actually used as the trap for those who want marriage and kids. You see, so many get stuck in the traps set-up around work and property, That they will think that those who don't get stuck in those two traps are actually irresponsible or unsuccessful, which is sometimes true. So there is pressure to conform and get a job you hate in order to purchase a house or other things you can't afford so that you can be more desirable to a brainwashed mate. If you aren't aware of this trick it can be easy to fall into.

And as the OP explained marriage under the government is a complete mess and should be avoided. But the brainwashing can be powerful and comes from many different directions. The government puts out little incentives, the family and friends put pressure on the couple to marry and settle down, companies that profit from the things associated with marriage put out commercials pushing that the married lifestyle is better and can't be complete without their product. There's just so much indoctrination it can be hard to resist, especially if one isn't aware of the manipulation going on.

Kids are our greatest resource. Our ability to raise our kids is what decides whether they are our greatest resource or not. To raise children that are responsible, loving, knowledgeable and wise is the greatest thing that we can produce. They steal our ability to do that away from us too. They have us chasing to provide the material things for our kids instead of the emotional and the mental(and perhaps spiritual if you're so inclined). We leave those things up to others, who often do not have our kids best interest at heart. We also leave our kids vulnerable to being picked upon by bullies, which is not something they should have to deal with since it is a real danger to their emotional well being.

We work to provide ourselves and our family with food and shelter, which is necessary. But large portions of people's income and credit go toward entertainment which is not. Bare minimum for a cable subscription is usually about $30-40 a month, and the wealthier people decide to get packages that can be $100 or more a month. Then you have internet, and cell phone plans, which are also monthly fees which differ based the package you choose. Then there are the objects themselves and the software they use. video games systems and their games, televisions, computers, cell phones, high priced fashion and furniture, etc..

There's nothing wrong with owning any of these things, just put them into perspective. They aren't the most important things in life. You don't need the latest and the greatest technology, and going into debt to obtain them is foolish.

The system doesn't care about you, it wants what you can produce. But it doesn't want you to produce too much, for fear you'll become prosperous and break free from it's bondage. It has to come up with ways to steal your wealth from you(taxes, usury), and to restrict you from producing things which challenge the system's control structure(laws and regulations).
Check out my FUN video clips in Russia and Female Encounters of the Foreign Kind video series and Full Russia Trip Videos!

Join my Ukrainian/Russian Women Dating Site to meet thousands of legit foreign girls at low cost!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne
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Post by ricklee » August 6th, 2011, 11:02 pm

As a man that has traveled the world, met a lot of women, made good $ to retire at any time, etc. I'd say the concept of complete freedom as a way to happiness is only true at a certain stage in life. Everyone is different and has different priorities, some people are truly happy owning a home while others love being in a comitted relationship so there is no one standard for all. There was a time for example where backpacking and staying in hostels was all that mattered to me, it was complete freedom to see and meet the world, get laid, etc. But as I got older, I just lost interest as I got to the point where the novelty of it just disappeared. Now days, I don't even care if I travel. My life's priorities changed with maturity.

As for kids, I would say being a dad is one of the most fulfilling experiences ever in my life so we obviously see things differently.. what you might see as a ball and chain, I see as complete joy. Watching my baby smile rewards me in ways I never felt with money, sex, travel, you name it. So to me, it's not about "ROI". It's about watching part of oneself grow into a person. Life to me is about fulfillment and how that is attained highly individualistic.

Here is a great ad from HSBC which stuck in my head when I saw it London couple of years ago..

Image
Everyone is normal until you get to know them
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Post by momopi » August 7th, 2011, 3:44 pm

Generally speaking, your primary residence and its mortgage is a liability that doesn't generate cash-flow. There are exceptions when buying is cheaper than renting, and when the rates are low enough, you see the rare 10-year fixed rate loan product being advertised. IMO if you're the type who wants to buy a house and put your roots down, 10-year fixed rate loan is the best product for you. It has the least amount of the interest paid to the bank and fastest pay-off. Although the monthly payment is higher, you'd own your house free and clear in 10 years, which enables you to retire earlier and travel.

If you're buying property for investment, then 30-year loans are OK if you need to generate monthly positive cash-flow on every income property. Stay away from adjustable rate loans and interest-only loans.

In 1830, US blue collar workers in manufacturing worked 68-70 hours/week. By 1900's it had declined to 55-60 hours/week, and by 1930s, down to 38-40 hours/week. A consumerist society depends on workers having enough spare time and money to spend on leisure & non-essentials. Unfortunately, too many people abuse the credit system and end up in revolving debt.
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Post by Haybo » September 12th, 2011, 12:04 pm

How can you call yourself a 'father' ?

Forget the meaning of 'life' - do you know the meaning of the word 'father' ..... because by the sounds of it you were just a sperm donor!

Also.. so you're alright Jack - you are 75% free, with 25% of not being free being taken up by being this 'father' in which you 'see' this twerp once a week and pay ofr the inconvience of your girlfriend having had it... HELLO - that is not being a 'father' hahaha!

You say yourself your 'girlfriend' even regrets having the little twerp because of the freedom it has taken away from her... kid yourself all you like - you are still as big an asshole as the next bloke out there, because you have mugged this poor girl off!!!
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Post by Haybo » September 12th, 2011, 12:39 pm

A non conformist - is not to rebel and be anti towards everything others choose to do in their lives.

It's someone who accepts what other may desire, but has their own path they wish to follow, there own way and in their own time.

I am this type of non conformist. I chose to not rush off to University after College - but to instead travel the world and gain some true meaningful life skills. My fellow peers didn't follow in my footsteops, but that was their own choices....

I have seen and explored the world, met truely wonderful people - and learnt so much about life, cultures and how people work.

You are right - True Freedom = means being an asshole, as it is a completely selfish act.

I follow the dream of True Happines - means that my happines lies in the joy of others.

I have achieved this in my travels, being a part of many families lives in my trips, sharing their love and kindness, their welcoming natures, from selflessly giving my love to many children when volunterring in Orphanages around the world (giving priceless hugs, kisses and genuine love and affection that is all that children crave from thei parents.....and these don't even have parent figures, no loving mother or father in their lives)

i think it is so terribly sad - and i feel so awfully sorry for you. You have this wonderful gift, but to you he's just a twerp, an inconvience once a week, that you have to provide a 'small' contribution towards that's good enough to keep this girlfriend off your back.

But he is a child - he doesn't care for that 'small contirbution' he just wants love- cuddles, kisses, affection and play and what do those things cost?! NOTHING!

It's been a couple of years since my last travels in between Univeristy - and I am sad to say I have succumb to the daily grind of Mon-Fri 9-5.... but that's all i give to my work life... the rest of the time i enjoy every penny i earn on doing the things i love, whilst giving and enjoying the people i love in my life.

All of my friends are married and having families - I am so happy for them, they are happy, so it makes me happy to celebrate it with them, they do not judge me for not doing the same as them, and I do not preach to them for conforming to society.

I am almost 28, and I have met a wonderful guy, and of course there are times when I think - yea if he asks me I'd leap at the chance to marry this man - not for financial reasons... neither of us have any money! But to me married isn't just a contract that sets you up for when things go wrong... I wouldn't wish for a large wedding with all the trimmings - just he and i declaring our love for one another to one another with love and sincerity - that's what marriage means to me.

That's freedom- releasing yourself into the heart of another - untrusting your heart and soul.

And it is only human nature to have a desire to have children - it's unfortunate that there are so many 'unwanted' children out there, because of narrowminded people such as yourself.

I find nothing more attractive than a man so involved with his child (son/daughter) - baby or adult!
It's beautiful thing, woman will always have the bond and expected bond because of pregnancy and birth... but the ultimate I believe is when a man, and only a good man - a FATHER, who can really make that bond with their child.

And that leaves me with - THAT'S TRUE FREEDOM, releasing yourself unto the love and life of another! Your child!

What's life - if we don't live it, we don't share it, we don't learn from and to teach to others? it's certainly not true freedom that's for sure.. it's a wasted life.
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Post by Haybo » September 12th, 2011, 2:20 pm

So where do 'women' come into this Non Conforming True Freedom World of yours?

If a woman follows what you say, does not conform to marriage and kids... has multiple lovers and relationships - she is known as a slut/whore/slapper and will grow old and be a lonely spinster.

So for a woman to not be a slut/slapper/whore she does in fact need to conform - find a partner and be faithful to the one partner.

Also to add to your comments what happens when one of you fellows knocks that woman up - she is lumbered with the kid, it's her fault/problem so she loses her entitlement to TRUE FREEDOM - and men still reign supreme with their TRUE FREEDOM even if they just so unfortunately 'FATHER' a child or two?

I believe this to be the main reason for all the ball-less wonders that go over to south east asia - they cannot handle 'WOMEN' and thus it is better for them to head over that way...to take advantage of the south east asians - who do not bark or bite back when a bloke uses and abuses them - what are they going to say about multiple relationships, what are they going to do when you get them pregnant..... NOTHING - it's the only place on earth, all the worlds ball-less male chauvinistics can reign as king and rule with their own TRUE FREEDOM.

Insecurity ridden losers, who can't handle a good woman in their lives - boys who don't have what it takes to give themselves to a woman they love, to make life an adventure together, building their own world with a family they selflessly provide every molecule of affection to help grow.

FREEDOM is for people wanting to get away from something!
LIVING is for people wanting to be a part of something!
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Post by zboy1 » September 12th, 2011, 10:34 pm

Haybo wrote:So where do 'women' come into this Non Conforming True Freedom World of yours?

If a woman follows what you say, does not conform to marriage and kids... has multiple lovers and relationships - she is known as a slut/whore/slapper and will grow old and be a lonely spinster.

So for a woman to not be a slut/slapper/whore she does in fact need to conform - find a partner and be faithful to the one partner.

Also to add to your comments what happens when one of you fellows knocks that woman up - she is lumbered with the kid, it's her fault/problem so she loses her entitlement to TRUE FREEDOM - and men still reign supreme with their TRUE FREEDOM even if they just so unfortunately 'FATHER' a child or two?

I believe this to be the main reason for all the ball-less wonders that go over to south east asia - they cannot handle 'WOMEN' and thus it is better for them to head over that way...to take advantage of the south east asians - who do not bark or bite back when a bloke uses and abuses them - what are they going to say about multiple relationships, what are they going to do when you get them pregnant..... NOTHING - it's the only place on earth, all the worlds ball-less male chauvinistics can reign as king and rule with their own TRUE FREEDOM.

Insecurity ridden losers, who can't handle a good woman in their lives - boys who don't have what it takes to give themselves to a woman they love, to make life an adventure together, building their own world with a family they selflessly provide every molecule of affection to help grow.

FREEDOM is for people wanting to get away from something!
LIVING is for people wanting to be a part of something!

In the immortal words of Shakespeare, the Lady doth protest too much! First of all, your characterizations of South East Asians was insulting and a little bit racist. Second, I agree with you on being a good father, which unfortunately is not the case with some of the people on this forum. There isn't a group of people I hate more than a deadbat mom or dad. I agree that having a child is a precious thing in ones' life and is something that should be cherised forever.

As for your comments about men going to Asia because they cannot handle a "Women" is absolute bull. Men are just fed up with the feminism and inequality that is present in American society. American women are some of the most bitchy, angry, slutty, gold digging women on the planet. Not to say, all American women are like this--they're not. But the vast majority are and the ones that are not are extremely hard to find and are usually married or already in a relationship. And if you care so much about freedom and non-conformity, why do you care so much about the men that want to go overseas?
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Post by NorthAmericanguy » September 13th, 2011, 12:16 am

momopi wrote:In this world there are people who are grass, tree, and cloud. A grass will not be happy as a cloud, and a cloud will not be happy as grass. Figure out what you want to be and go live your life accordingly. Being money rich and time poor is not happiness, neither is rotting on your couch like an old potato. Be thankful that there are people who wake up every day at 8am and go to work, without them you wouldn't have running water from the tap, electricity from the outlet, and airplanes at the airport.

Traditionally, marriage is a cultural product that gave men exclusive sexual access to his wife (or wives or concubines), and assurance that any children born from the union are his. From the women's perspective, marriage means protection of her children's rights under legitimacy law. Up until the 1970s, common law still dictated that only legitimate children could inherit their fathers' estates. Illegitimate children born outside of wedlock wasn't just a social stigma, there are financial consequences for the children later. But times changed, laws changed, and the rest is history. If you get married today, you're more likely to marry into debt instead of assets or dowry.

On subject of mortgages, many people have difficulty seeing their home (roof over head) as a liability. Americans are horrible at saving money, and some justify their mortgage as "savings" by putting equity into their homes, so they can use it for retirement later. Well, if people got 15 year fixed rate loans and paid them off, I'd agree with that statement. But that's not reality. The reality is that most buyers get 30 year loans, refi them after x number of years, and sell their homes and move to another one before paying off the loan. On a 30-year loan, 90% of your payment in year 1 goes toward loan interest to the bank, only ~10% goes toward equity (!). So if you made $10,000 worth of payments to your bank, the bank keeps $9,000 in interst for themselves (of which you get a tax deduction), and only $1,000 goes into the equity in year #1 of a 30-year loan. Does that sound like savings to you?

If you follow Robert Kiyosaki's cash flow ideology, most material things that cost $ are liabilities, and only those generating a profit are assets. So your home with a mortgage cost you money and is a liability, vs an investment property that generates positive cashflow is an asset. Mortgages can be a tool toward passive income, but only if you buy a cash-flow positive investment property. If you bought a house with 30-year loan & monthly payment of $700, and was able to rent the house out for $1,200 per month, you're doing well. Over time the rent will go up, but your 30-year fixed rate loan payment will stay the same.

The first condo that I bought more than 10 years ago has a 30-year fixied rate loan payment of $980/month (P+I), back in 2001 I rented it out to a tenant for $1250/month. Today in 2011, I can rent the condo out for $1500-$1,600/month. However, factoring in property taxes, property management fees, HOA fees (>$200/mo), etc., it's still not a very profitable purchase. I've learned since and the properties that I buy today are all SFR's with no HOA or very low HOA (~$50/mo), and much better cash flow.

Back during the RE bubble era, it was difficult to impossible for many to save enough to afford property. But the market as crash and is still going down. Today older 3/2 SFR's in California along the I-15 can be had in the low $100,000's. If you work hard in the US and save $, you can afford to buy such properties for investment. It's far less risky than giving your life savings to your friends with get-rich-quick (TM) schemes. It's difficult to make sufficient RE passive cashflow in the US to offset all your expenses IF you live in expensive areas like Southern CA or Paris -- it's much harder to secure a mortgage from the bank today than before. But your passive income comes in handy supplementing your regular income, and if you choose to move to a cheaper place, you can probably exit the rat race early and retire.

On question of ethics as a property investor, you should not forget that you're profiting at the expense of others on something that is fundamental to living -- shelter. Someone else is working hard M-F 8am-5pm and sending you a rent check every month, while you sit on your ass playing video games. Be nice to your tenant and know that it cost more to get a new tenant than the small sum you might gain from raising rent -- raise the rent upfront with a new tenant and not the existing one if possible. As an investor, you can also have a positive role in the local community by purchasing fixer uppers and rehabilitating properties.

http://www.irvinehousingblog.com/
Good post momopi, and I must say the last part is spot on.
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Post by NorthAmericanguy » September 13th, 2011, 12:55 am

Haybo wrote: I believe this to be the main reason for all the ball-less wonders that go over to south east asia - they cannot handle 'WOMEN' and thus it is better for them to head over that way...to take advantage of the south east asians - who do not bark or bite back when a bloke uses and abuses them - what are they going to say about multiple relationships, what are they going to do when you get them pregnant..... NOTHING - it's the only place on earth, all the worlds ball-less male chauvinistics can reign as king and rule with their own TRUE FREEDOM.

Insecurity ridden losers, who can't handle a good woman in their lives - boys who don't have what it takes to give themselves to a woman they love, to make life an adventure together, building their own world with a family they selflessly provide every molecule of affection to help grow.


Haybo, you sound very angry which is a legitimate emotion. However, if you're really angry about the fact men,who you don't know,are choosing to move overseas, then it's obvious that your anger stems from being jealous of the women in SE Asia who have good men with money flocking to them because none of those guys want to put up with with a woman like you.
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Post by NorthAmericanguy » September 13th, 2011, 12:58 am

zboy1 wrote:, why do you care so much about the men that want to go overseas?
She cares so much because she never got the chance to dig her claws into them.
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Post by NorthAmericanguy » September 13th, 2011, 1:33 am

S_Parc wrote:Winston, I'm going to simplify this .... it's really about the Benjamins.

For example, many doctors earns some $200-400K/yr. But then, why do they need to buy a $1+ million dollar home in some posh suburb of Boston, NYC, or LA? They could live in let's say northern VT, buy a small pad for $200K with a 3 yr mortgage, and then bank everything else they make, drive an hour to Montreal and boink hot French-Canadian women. After a decade, they could either retire or cut their work to a few consulting hours, and still be able to make ends meet.

You see ... they fall for the golden handcuffs and society's constant brainwashing.

So yes, you're on the right track. Focus on your business, earn money independently, and don't be society's bitch.

+1^




Yea, it's not normal to find a person who makes 200k a year+ and lives like they only make 50k.

I think it has to do with the person that can make 200k. A person who can make 200k is usually aggressive and ambitious, and the problem is, that aggression most likely might spill over into their private life to where they find themselves big spenders and so forth.

Also, the more money you make tends to grant you access to higher echelons of society and what happens is that you tend to try and keep up with them or try to out preform them to win their approval.
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Post by Haybo » September 13th, 2011, 3:04 pm

I had no intention of being 'racist'. Far from it - Just from what I have seen on my travels out there and from what I see here in Britain, is that they are much less of a challange for men. And ok, why not, it's one way to have the easy life. More willing to sit quietly and take care of her man (the more 50's approach to relationships).

My complaint was... Winston's 'girlfriend' - he said she too regrets having the kid, it's taken away her True Freedom. And this is where it ended, as he continued on with he has 75% True Freedom then, if he includes being a 'father' (again VERY loose term for him to use).... because unlike him she still is expected to have the kid 75% of the time, thus losing her entire True Freedom.

I agree with most of your points to the extent that - I am totally anti FEMINISM to the extent of all the she-male - man hating, almost being men themselves women out there in the world. I read the Blog and yes, it'ssad we have a generation of Sex and the City wannabes.. so you agree for a woman to have True Freedom in the eyes of Winston she is a slut. I have a friend like this, and it tears my heart out, but as a friend I cannot preach for it's the way she sees non conforming. But she is a wonderng traveller, does not want to marry, or settle in a relationship that will tie her down and no desire for children - so she sleeps around with what ever is going when it takes her fancy. That sends shivers up my spine that my own morals don't want to accept - but she according to Wisnton has True Freedom.

So women must conform to being Wives and Mothers, thus losing 'Winstons' idea of True Freedom?

I think in the last 30 years chivalry has almost completely been wiped out. I'm not blaming men.. most men daren't hold a door open or compliment a lady for fear of her barking at him in feminist protest of being sexually harrassed. But you can't paint 'all' women with the same brush... just from your bad experiences with bitchy, slutty, gold diggers - maybe it's just the places you have been looking. It's only ever going to be a one in a million chance of finding a diamond in the rough.. and I guess that's why you go to the places you do to find your Diamonds on the shores of happiness instead.

As for "...if you care so much about freedom and non-conformity, why do you care so much about the men that want to go overseas?" It just baffled me, that a blog about non conforming, went on to basically admit that he didn't conform to western society, but instead was acually conforming to a western society introduced to Filipinas.. thus still actually conforming - but to western filipinas society - a more selfish way - where can still have True Freedom, even though she won't.

I'm saddened in the sense that where has balance gone? I disagree with MEN RULE, and women are the minians. But I am also in dismay with the new world of WOMEN DOMINATION, and men the lesser sex.

I read Winston's thread, because it caught my attention - and was written extremely well, is just a shame it didn't have the give or take of both sex. Same goes for Winston's Feminism thread - as a woman I am actually in agreeance, but again is written in such a woman hating way - it talks about the loss and need of balance... but it doesn't itself 'give' any.

I am not jealous of the women in SE Asia - I have my concerns for some, like those in Winston's girlfriends position. He had no sense of regard for her loss of True Freedom, because he is selfish in the sense of he has his own - every man for himself!

Actually...I have a good man, i cherish him well - going back to loss of chivalry, he won my heart on the first date, attending to every detail - I knew he was the one for me.

I have no claws to dig into any one - all I care about is Love. I'm sorry you fellows have had some pretty nasty pieces of work in your lives... it's clearly affected you all greatly.

I'm not a bad person.
I'm almost 28 - worked my butt off working in finance to save up pennies to travel the world on and off over the last 10 years. I have only ever been in 2 relationships.

First boyfriend at 17, and we were together 7 years - boy did that hurt when it was over, but I found love again, bigger and better than ever expected again... my current boyfriend and we have been together 3 years now.
Never had to dig my claws into anyone.

If i had his child, and he was only interested in the kid once a week, and required 75% True Freedom, leaving me with zippo freedom - would me being the kind of woman that would stand up and say, hang on moment i don't think so mister.... make me one of these horrid women you lot speak of?

..No (or at least I hpe that's your answer). It just means that hang ono a minute, it's about BALANCE - right?
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