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Why does it feel weird to eat at a restaurant alone in USA?

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Jester
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Post by Jester » April 6th, 2014, 7:45 am

Winston, specifically what cities in Europe did you dine in?
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newlifeinphilippines
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Post by newlifeinphilippines » April 6th, 2014, 8:09 am

I feel that way in america and in philippines when eating out alone. i dont think its country specific. but ive noticed more solos in phil than america. but the girl im living with in phil commented on a foreigner being a loner when eating alone when i mentioned him over across, not sure if she was being negative i didn't ask.
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Winston
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Post by Winston » April 6th, 2014, 8:14 am

Jester wrote:Winston, specifically what cities in Europe did you dine in?
Cities in Poland, Lithuania, Latvia, and Estonia. But people tell me it's the same in other European countries too.
newlifeinphilippines wrote: I feel that way in America and in philippines when eating out alone. i dont think its country specific. but ive noticed more solos in phil than America. but the girl im living with in phil commented on a foreigner being a loner when eating alone when i mentioned him over across, not sure if she was being negative i didn't ask.
Are you kidding? Philippines is the most NON-JUDGMENTAL country in the world. People there do not analyze, judge or observe. They do not even make comparisons and contrasts, or observations. Why would they judge someone eating alone in a restaurant? I've eaten alone there hundreds of times with ZERO awkwardness. It's the most relaxed country in the world. I'm wondering if you've really ever been there.
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Devil Dog
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Re: Why does it feel weird to eat at a restaurant alone in U

Post by Devil Dog » April 6th, 2014, 8:33 am

Winston wrote:
Devil Dog wrote:
Winston wrote:Today I ate at a vegetarian restaurant here. Again, it felt awkward and strange, since no one else was eating alone. Everyone brought someone else. Why is it that Americans are afraid to eat alone at restaurants? In other countries it's more normal and ok.

I don't get it. I mean, no one will bother you or make fun of you if you eat alone at a restaurant. So why are Americans afraid to do it? What is with the hang up against it?
I am perfectly comfortable eating alone at a restaurant in the US. I realize that some people aren't. It's just a personal thing, probably a question of whether you are "comfortable in your own skin".
How often have you done that in the US? Eat alone at a restaurant? What kind of restaurant? How formal? Can you name some chains? Or do you only eat alone at fast food places?

I'm comfortable in my skin too. But it does feel awkward in the US to go to a restaurant alone. Are you saying you feel zero awkwardness? Come on now.

I guess some guys are sensitive and some aren't. Some guys are really good at suppressing their feelings and vulnerabilities. And some aren't.

I rarely eat at "formal" places. Outback Steakhouse, locally owned Asian or Mexican sit-down places are examples of places I might typically go. But I would not mind eating alone in any place.

I don't feel awkward at all. Why would I? Because I feel that someone (who I don't know) may be thinking that I am alone at the moment because there is something wrong with me or I am unpopular? That does not matter to me. I am comfortable with myself and the way that I fit into society. This is an example of something which I personally do not consider to be abnormal, so I don't worry about it.

It is not a matter of suppressing "feelings and vulnerabilities". For me, there are no negative feelings or vulnerabilities associated with this, so there is nothing to suppress.

I understand that this is somewhat unusual. One of my nieces (22 years old) will do the same thing I do sometimes, go out alone to have dinner and then go to a movie alone. She is completely comfortable with that, just like I am. It is something that is joked about in the family sometimes. Neither she or I are sensitive about it at all. I think we both see it the same way: We are confident enough to do things alone. That is a strength, not a flaw.
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Winston
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Post by Winston » April 6th, 2014, 9:11 am

Devil Dog,
Your niece? How can that be? I've never seen a young girl eat at a restaurant alone or go to a movie alone in the US. Every time I go to a restaurant or movie alone in the US, I'm the only one alone there. Why?

In Poland, me and a buddy went to an independent theater a few times and there were girls there alone, even sitting beside me, that I could chat up casually as if it were a normal thing.
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Post by ***JP*** » April 6th, 2014, 9:22 am

Well I personally don't care what others think about me wether I'm eating with friends or alone. If I have a craving to go somewhere and no one comes with me it still doesn't stop me from going to a certain place. You guys shouldn't even pay attention of what others think of you cause in the end they are the real losers and the confused ones who always need a confidence boost from their little clique.
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Post by newlifeinphilippines » April 6th, 2014, 9:51 pm

Winston wrote:
Jester wrote:Winston, specifically what cities in Europe did you dine in?
Cities in Poland, Lithuania, Latvia, and Estonia. But people tell me it's the same in other European countries too.
newlifeinphilippines wrote: I feel that way in America and in philippines when eating out alone. i dont think its country specific. but ive noticed more solos in phil than America. but the girl im living with in phil commented on a foreigner being a loner when eating alone when i mentioned him over across, not sure if she was being negative i didn't ask.
Are you kidding? Philippines is the most NON-JUDGMENTAL country in the world. People there do not analyze, judge or observe. They do not even make comparisons and contrasts, or observations. Why would they judge someone eating alone in a restaurant? I've eaten alone there hundreds of times with ZERO awkwardness. It's the most relaxed country in the world. I'm wondering if you've really ever been there.
i was just saying i wasn't sure if she was critical. shes even told me i look at everyoen and talk about them she isn't used to that lol your right filipinos dont really observe or talk about others but i still feel weird eating at a restaraunt even in phil.

the girl im with has a bad attitude and even criticizes me sometimes so she may have been critical of the guy. she is asexual too. admits she dosnt like sex. but she is good at sex for me but she isn't in hte mood rarely and it makes me not initiate sex asa result. damn zamboangan girl.


ive lived a total of 1 year in phil
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Winston
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Post by Winston » April 7th, 2014, 8:50 am

Im eating alone now at ihop. It's early morning so theres a few guys eating alone. I guess mornings are different.
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***JP***
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Post by ***JP*** » April 7th, 2014, 8:58 am

Winston wrote:Im eating alone now at ihop. It's early morning so theres a few guys eating alone. I guess mornings are different.
Even still Winston. What strangers think of you if you eat alone or not is irrelevant cause like i said before when I have a craving to go to certain place to eat I don't care wether I'm alone or with friends. Besides those who label you are the true losers cause they are the ones who are very insecure.
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Post by Devil Dog » April 7th, 2014, 9:28 am

Winston wrote:Im eating alone now at ihop. It's early morning so theres a few guys eating alone. I guess mornings are different.

LOSER!

Just kidding.

This discussion reminds me of an observation which I have shared with my kids: We tend to think that others are constantly looking at us, judging us, evaluating us. They aren't. They are thinking about their own lives, their own problems, their own goals and interests. So relax. Nobody is studying you for mistakes or weakness.
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Post by Temprano26 » April 7th, 2014, 10:48 am

Devil Dog, that is the right theory but I went out to a salsa restaurant called Gloria's alone every weekend. Nobody would come with me because everyone is working or nobody can open their mind to something for two seconds.

I am a journalist and because I was alone, I would sit alone at a table with a drink and write what I felt. One night I happened to be writing about why I think Newt Gingrich is a putz. I wasn't talking to anyone or looking at anyone; just writing and the manager comes up to me saying people are complaining that I am writing about them.

This speaks to the narcissism that is so epidemic in modern society. People being petty and insecure about nothing.
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Post by ringspun » May 3rd, 2014, 10:51 am

It's the same in the UK and Australia Winston, here I never go out and eat alone...

But in Asia or South America, no problem at all... people go out their way to talk or be nice.

Western world f***ing sucks!
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