Going abroad rescues self esteem + Istanbul report.

[Cyrus]

I left LA on New years after what has now been an extraordinary year and a half dry spell from when I left Thailand in 2013. No dates, no makeouts, no phone numbers, and in LA everything was 10x worse than in Arizona.

I notice when I am in the states, I begin to develop serious complexes about myself. I start blaming my lack of success with women on superficial factors: my height, job, facial symmetry, popularity, how good I am at game and pickup artisiness, money, etc. In fact most men I know in the states do this, too. The more I travel the more I notice American men who try to act like comedians constantly. I realize this is a result of social conditioning and poor self-esteem. Since I returned to living abroad, I've met many other American travelers and this contrast is like night and day. It's so weird.

My first major stop was Istanbul, Turkey. I was told "Turkey is the worst place in the world to meet women". This is because of: conservative Islamic girls, dangerous and aggressive men, and nightclubs populated by swinging dicks and no single females. I decided to go just to enjoy history and sight-see.

In a month in Turkey I had more dates than the last almost 2 years in the states. And not with ordinary women, but with perfect 9s and 10s. I did not sleep with any of them, but I did make out with most of them (5 girls in all). I can definitely see that sex is a hangup, as many of these girls live with their families and have 6'7 Turkish brothers breathing down their necks.

Coming straight from USA my self-esteem immediately restored itself to normal. Even though I didn't officially hook up with any of them, just being this desirable in a normal way is amazing. I will say, though, you DO NEED some level of "game" for a place like Turkey to work out for you. I met girls on the street, in Starbucks, and at clubs. However, I wouldn't have been able to do this if I didn't learn basics of approaching and not having anxiety talking to strangers.

I am now in central Europe (Croatia) and noticing similar patterns of behavior among girls: they look icy or cold on the outside compared to Americans, but are very respectful and want to talk to you when you open them, and they will not by default judge you. The only reason things didn't work out in Turkey was because I wasn't living there and those girls didn't want short-term flings. I'll be in Prague for almost 3 months, though, so that's going to be an opportunity to really mingle with locals.

I also notice guys of all types with girlfriends when I am abroad. In Los Angeles, I noticed a pattern where only "perfect" guys seem to have girls with them (huge jocks, big muscles, perfect face, perfect car, clearly rich), or I'll see obviously very high quality men desperate for female attention and going out with extremely GROSS women (to use the superficial number analogy, HB1s and HB2s, holding hands with TROLLS). Not like this in Turkey, not in central Europe. I see guys of all types holding hands with girls on the street: nerdy guys, short guys, big guys, foreign guys, old guys, young guys, etc. I think this is evidence of a healthy culture.

If somehow I'm not living in total abundance in Prague, I am thinking heavily of returning to Pattaya. Now this isn't my favorite place, the seediness and sex workers turn me off, but it sure is nice being in really high demand and automatically being able to have selection and choice. Not to mention great food, cheap living, etc.

We'll see what this year brings....

Cyrus

Check out my site: Freedom Based Work Strategies and Adventure Travel
(http://www.cyruskirkpatrick.coml)

[Devil Dog]

Good post. You got off your ass and did something instead of just bitching about how things are. More here should follow your example.

[droid]

My first major stop was Istanbul, Turkey. I was told "Turkey is the worst place in the world to meet women". This is because of: conservative Islamic girls, dangerous and aggressive men, and nightclubs populated by swinging dicks and no single females. I decided to go just to enjoy history and sight-see.
In a month in Turkey I had more dates than the last almost 2 years in the states. And not with ordinary women, but with perfect 9s and 10s. I did not sleep with any of them, but I did make out with most of them (5 girls in all). I can definitely see that sex is a hangup, as many of these girls live with their families and have 6'7 Turkish brothers breathing down their necks.

+1000
What an excellent, informative, and inspiring post Cyrus. Thank you very much. I can identify with all your statements you are the type of poster we need here.
Only thing, i wish you wrote a more detailed report with pictures, and giving some insights into the conversations and interactions.

The only reason things didn't work out in Turkey

Don't say that. You were successful, you don't need intercourse to claim success IMO. You did great.

Even though I didn't officially hook up with any of them, just being this desirable in a normal way is amazing. I will say, though, you DO NEED some level of "game" for a place like Turkey to work out for you. I met girls on the street, in Starbucks, and at clubs. However, I wouldn't have been able to do this if I didn't learn basics of approaching and not having anxiety talking to strangers.

That's the thing, I always say if you're somewhat desirable in the first place and the other people are authentic, it's not really "game" i guess, you just have to not screw up and be normal. The compatibility comes naturally and it shouldn't feel like some heavy burden.

I also notice guys of all types with girlfriends when I am abroad. In Los Angeles, I noticed a pattern where only "perfect" guys seem to have girls with them (huge jocks, big muscles, perfect face, perfect car, clearly rich), or I'll see obviously very high quality men desperate for female attention and going out with extremely GROSS women (to use the superficial number analogy, HB1s and HB2s, holding hands with TROLLS).

Excellent observations, concur with that 100%. I'm in southamerica (col) and see looks aren't as important either in most places.

[S_Parc]

When I was 24, I'd started going abroad. Before then, I'd gone through a three year period w/o a GF or even a one night stand. It was always one lunch/dinner date and out. I was really sick and tired of the stateside scene.

Open arriving in Rio, I was dubbed the up and coming rising star. Obviously, I'd the American ex-pat squad over there, seed this notion beforehand, to boost help the morale of the troops there. I wasn't thinking of dating, just advancing my career.

One of the Brazilian sales managers there, introduced me to the crowd as a man, whose time was as important as the President of the United States. Well ... it was a joke but the halo effect of that gesture had stuck. I went from batting zero in New England/New York areas to being able to date any woman who was available in Rio. Of course I took my time, so that I didn't develop a Bill Clinton-nese reputation too quickly and very soon, I was the most eligible American ex-pat out there.