Help Eachother Become Better men & People

[Eric]

I want to preface and say this won't be great as I'm typing it in the office and I can't concentrate that well, but here goes.
I've noticed a lot of bashing a lot of people on this site bashing eachother - a lot of men bashing other men. I'm a part of that, too. I think what we really need, is to help each other improve, help each other grow; we all have deficits, and none of us are perfect human beings or perfect men. We all have a lot of areas we can work on. There is a lot of good advice on here from men all over the world, real men, about real things.

If it's one thing I've noticed in my struggled and in my own personal growth...for myself, is what basically comes down to reality. It all started for me in accepting that I had a problem with controlling things, avoiding, and running away basically - making excuses, things such as this. We cannot call vice virtue - and dress it up in a glass house to make ourselves feel better, for it still stands as a vice. For me, it meant accepting and working with vulnerability & strength...this is our only source of real living.

We should all accept our shortcomings and look at our lives, honestly. This is how we grow...as individuals. A major part of a thread that underlies everything that I see, seems to be something like the words Courage/real/honest/ growth..learning...goals, things like this. We can't bullshit ourselves or not own up to our deficiencies and expect to grow...it just won't happen. I'm not perfect, and I know the world sucks. There are so many problems with today's modern world... that it is staggering. We all know what we have to do, we just have to do it, this is the hard part. It took me facing myself to see this. If we accept our own weaknesses it eliminates a need for defense, hence no attacking ... It's not about others, it's about ourselves. -don't worry about every little thing and others around you. It is necessary that we cannot be weak; weakness is the ultimate atrophy, and we can't control everything...so control what you can, and work on yourself, and don't worry about people's feelings. Most people around you are weak - they will not bring you up, don't rely on others for sustenance- unless you are around someone of great virtue. It is a weakness to place it in others - I'd rather place it in myself so that I have something to offer the world, & be strong.
One particular problem I have is in needing to chill out and taking things too seriously. I get way, way too into things... all day which will ruin my day. I forget to enjoy life....just set down and relax and have fun. I think it comes from my family and how I was raised to be, very goddamn serious. I find my happiness, joy, even my productivity increases when I'm relaxed and smiling and I'm happy, it's counterintuitive for me, but it works. As funny a problem as it sounds, it is actually my biggest problem and I really need work on it. As humans I think it is normal, we are always working/trying to survive, so it's normal. Anyway, I think it is all about balance.