Why I Have Total Faith in God

[Outcast9428]

The irreligious often criticize the religious, saying we are closed minded, refuse to accept any evidence contrary to our beliefs, we are told that we should question our beliefs more, and remain "open minded." Sometimes we are told we ignore science, or that our religion is outdated, created by "desert people thousands of years ago." Well, I'll tell you why none of those arguments phase me much.

I was once exactly the same way, non-religious to the point of hostility towards the Christian religion, and all religion really. I was liberal, I wanted to sin. This was me in my freshman year of college. Everything I've heard here, as to why people don't like Christianity or sexually conservative philosophy is the exact same kind of crap I used to tell people back then. God seems to know that I only learn the hard way though, and so he gave me what I wanted, he showed me what would happen if religion was abandoned, if people threw off "the shackles of sexual moralism" so to speak, if there were no rules, no limits, no prohibitions against any kind of vice or sexual activity. A society where the free love ethic was followed religiously.

And I was horrified by what I saw. I saw a culture where people had become absolutely disposable, where everything was a competition, a brutal competition for status... Ironically, nobody could be themselves in this culture of "liberal tolerance" because everybody had to put on a mask. You always had to be "on," going to the next social event, hooking up with someone, getting drunk, getting high, doing something "cool." Liberal culture obsesses over what is cool and trendy in the same way that Christianity obsesses over what is moral. Wanting to stay in your room and watch anime instead of going out to a party and getting drunk is like a cardinal sin in liberal culture. And it wasn't because I didn't have parties to go to. I probably went to about 100 parties in college, not half assed ones either... Parties with music so loud you can't hear a person while shouting at them, walls lined with people grinding on one another and making out, pot smoke in the air. The culture at my college was not simply un-conductive to relationships. It literally demanded one night stands. Both guys and girls acted like there was something wrong with people who so much as texted them after sex. I was once working on a project with this frat guy type, and he saw a girl walking around and said to me "I hate seeing girls the night after I f**k them." I heard some guys brag about sleeping with two or even as many as four girls in one night.

And yet the culture harbored this incredible hostility under the surface. People seemed utterly ashamed when they saw each other out in public whom they had had sex with. Every girl you talked to would say "I'm not looking for a relationship right now." I honestly don't know anyone who dated a girl they met at my college. None of the frat boys, none of the nerds, and none of the normal guys either. Nobody dated at my college. You never saw couples holding hands, kissing, or hugging on campus. Never once in my four years of being there did I see a couple on the bus so much as sitting together. Romantic relationships were basically prohibited by the culture, only one night stands were acceptable. Because being in love wasn't cool, it showed that you were too needy, you weren't living "the college experience" which was basically supposed to look like Project X on a weekly basis.

No amount of moderation was tolerated. You couldn't "just drink three beers." You needed to drink until you puked or blacked out in order to be cool. But even then, puking wasn't really cool. What was really cool was drinking 12 beers and having an alcohol tolerance so high that it only gets you moderately drunk. The coolest people were the ones who could drink terrifying amounts of alcohol and shrug it off like it was no problem. I saw people chug an entire bottle of liquor in about one minute and only seem moderately drunk afterward. People had no idea how to hold down a conversation without alcohol. Most of the time, if you ever went to somebody's apartment, the first thing they offered you was beer because nobody could converse with one another without alcohol. Nobody knew how to have fun without alcohol. And this whole idea that people smoke weed instead of alcohol is a total myth. Virtually everyone I knew at college who smoked weed also drank a tremendous amount of alcohol. Either way, people could not function unless they were f***ed up on at least alcohol, if not a bunch of other drugs as well. Cocaine was really normal at my college too, probably half the people I met had done it. Some people could not get through their classes without alcohol. They put shots of vodka in their water bottles, or took flasks with them, like some 40 year old alcoholic who's been addicted for years.

The weird thing was though, in the backdrop of all this excess and debauchery was a strictly controlled manner of speaking and humor. You could not make jokes about anything. You could not joke about sex, you could not joke about gay people, you certainly could not joke about women or race. Joking about sex was considered "sexual harassment" even if you were not directing the joke towards any actual person. Simply mentioning the subject was considered sexual harassment unless you were talking about it in a strictly academic manner. You could not have serious conversations about these subjects. Despite the tremendous pressure to have one night stands, you were also expected to not act as if you were going to parties looking for one night stands. If you weren't organically having one night stands all the time, you were considered a loser. But you weren't allowed to talk about wanting sex, it was supposed to just happen to you, and if it didn't just happen to you, then something was wrong with you. You were expected to be capable of walking out your door, and getting sex whenever you felt like it, or getting sex dropped on your lap. To make an active effort to get sex was like, sinful though, in a very weird way.

It was like the culture demanded this kind of, social fluidity. To be a thinker would get you ostracized. To be a person who lived in your head was a crime. You were expected to naturally make friends, naturally hookup with people, naturally know all the unspoken rules of the culture (and there were countless unspoken rules and if you did not strictly follow them, you were ostracized from the social group). Being awkward was like one of the highest crimes in this culture. People were free to vandalize property, have fights, bully others, get as drunk as they wanted, sleep with 50 or 100 different people, or have any fetishes they wanted... But God forbid you be a little awkward and have the wrong body language. Commit this crime and nobody will invite you to anything and they will make the bare minimum effort to speak to you for the sake of politeness and then forget you're there five seconds later. I felt like every single individual at my college was constantly judging me, I felt their hostility everywhere. I felt like a criminal, always looking around and anxious about people possibly trying to speak to me, even though I had done nothing wrong. My social interactions with other people, on the surface would seem okay, but they felt vaguely hostile underneath the politeness.

My college also enforced fake happiness. You had to pretend like you were having a blast all the time. Like your time there was just a four year vacation at some party resort. Like the college was a paradise that you never wanted to leave. You couldn't just like XXU (fake college name), you had to LOVE XXU. But I heard people every once in awhile, because I'd hear them around me during the many many times I'd sit somewhere on campus, looking at my phone. They spoke in whispers, but I'd hear somebody confess they weren't happy, that they'd never been this depressed in their entire life. And confess that they were scared to tell anybody they weren't happy. I heard people confess to disliking the exact same things I mentioned, you always had to be ON, you always had to put up this image of being a cool person. Because my college was like a cult, anybody who expressed unhappiness was ruthlessly shamed and told it was their fault for they didn't like it. That XXU was a flawless paradise and nobody could possibly dislike it unless there was something seriously wrong with them.

Once I met the rare Christian girls, however, it was like seeing the light in a person. I met people who, I could just tell they were good people. They exuded warmth and genuine friendliness. They had principles, they knew what was right and wrong, I never felt like I had to have a stupid argument with them where they didn't understand basic concepts of right and wrong. The Christians all knew right and wrong from heart. And despite Christians reputation for being uptight, I felt free with them. Suddenly I could joke about whatever I wanted to joke about, I could talk about any subject, I no longer had to seem cool, It was fine to just say "yeah I ordered Dominos and watched anime all weekend."

The more committed I became to conservative philosophy, and the Christian religion. The happier I became. The more successful I became. I finally felt like I could be myself. Putting myself in environments around other Christian conservatives, I felt like I could thrive again. I've been around conservatives for so long now that my username, Outcast, it feels outdated. It doesn't feel like it really applies anymore. I don't feel like an Outcast anymore. I actually suddenly feel like "a normie." Not just a normie, but a high tier normie even. I made my username and my account here when I wasn't that far removed from college and the psychological trauma it caused had stuck with me.

Everything that liberals accuse Christians of, they are guilty of. Liberals talk so much about "freedom" and yet their cultures are almost unimaginably repressive. But they call themselves free because they can do things that Christians consider to be immoral or irresponsible and nobody is allowed to criticize them for it in liberal cultures. You can sleep with 100 different people in a liberal culture, and everybody else is expected to high five you. Anyone who thinks to make you feel ashamed of that, gets ruthlessly pounced on, the same way a degenerate might be pounced on in a culture of traditionalist Christian conservatives. The main difference, however, is that Christian conservatives make the rules clear to you and don't make up a shitload of unwritten rules and get angry at you for not following them. Everything is laid out clearly. Secondly, the rules actually concern moral behavior, and are designed explicitly to help you get along with other people better. The rules of liberal culture, on the other hand, are highly informal but targeted towards incredibly stupid behavior. The rules of liberal cultures are also, contrary to what people may think, far more petty and specific then the rules of conservative cultures. Unlike conservative cultures, liberals don't tell you what the rules are, because the whole basis of their culture is supposed to be that there are no rules and everybody can just be who they want to be. But that is a total lie. Liberals and progressives are both extremely strict about who you are allowed to be.

Before somebody says this is something specific to my college. It isn't, because Florida is exactly the same way as my college was... Only in Florida, you can be politically incorrect and make jokes. So its not quite as repressive, but the framework is exactly the same. Everything revolves around being cool and doing "cool things" and those who are not cool enough are ostracized and punished.

As far as why my faith in God is unshakeable. It is because I can feel his influence, I can feel that he sent me to that college to teach me an important lesson. And he showed his followers to me, to prove to me that there was a way out, an alternative. I did not have to accept this rotten culture and conform to it. God saved me, his followers saved me. They gave me the opportunity for a good life and they didn't lie about it like the secular liberals did. The secular liberals told me that I would have lots of fun and happiness if I supported their concept of freedom but they lied. What they gave me was misery. And furthermore, they lie about not wanting everybody to conform to their ideology as well. When I conformed to God's rules, to the Christians' rules, my life genuinely became good. I was given rules that were reasonable to follow, and following them didn't just satisfy the desire of everyone else for me to conform. Following those rules genuinely made my life better. If I had fooled everybody but chosen not to follow the rules anyway, my life would be just as shitty as it was back in college. God rewarded me for genuinely believing in his plan. For understanding the importance of his rules and the morals he has given us to follow.

And I can see the results of believing in him, of believing in everything he has taught us. And it is beautiful... Absolutely beautiful. This is what actual bliss feels like. What true happiness feels like. His rules were not made to oppress everyone like the irreligious liberals claim, they were made to give us joy. So why on Earth would I doubt God, or doubt his son Jesus Christ, just because a few stories in the Bible don't make perfect sense yet? Science and history does not have all the answers, it is a growing philosophy. Some 40%-70% of history is actually estimated to be undiscovered. There is still a lot about this Earth's past we do not know about. I have faith that with time, some of the things we read in the Bible that don't make 100% sense yet, will be answered. It may not happen in our lifetimes, but I don't care to logically/rationally explain how Noah managed to get 2 of every animal species onboard his ark. Everything will be answered someday and we don't need all the answers. All the important questions have already been answered if you're willing to accept them. Once you have genuinely accepted them, you will feel your life change for the better, as nearly every Christian can testify to.

[Outcast9428]

I feel like anybody who has lived in a leftist/progressive environment can relate to that scenario where you say the wrong joke or the wrong thing and instantly feel the room go completely silent… Like everybody is thinking “what the f**k did that guy just say?”

[Pixel--Dude]

I agree with what you said about drinking culture. I used to be part of that culture as well, but honestly now I see nothing fun at all in drinking until I am sick or having circular or repetitive conversations with other drunk people. I just find the whole party thing noisy and uncultured. When I drifted away from that culture I found a lot of my "friends" distanced themselves from me and didn't want to hang around with me anymore. I had become "boring" and excommunicated from my social circle for the crime of sobriety. My friends never invited me out anymore and if I called them they didn't want to hang out if they didn't have money to go to the pub for example. In short, my friendships were all illusory and bullshit! Utilitarian relationships because nobody wants to drink alone at the pub.

I think in Western countries like America and the UK there is a complete lack of culture where that kind of lifestyle is glorified and even promoted. I agree that love is important and can make life better and I think society has become very cold in that regard. I think relationships between men and women have become more and more f***ed up through a combination of feminism and other toxic ideological currents which further the divide between the sexes.

I went through a phase of being Christian as well. I was staying with my ex and I would often become bored and read through her collection of books. I started with some fiction from Stephen King and James Herbert, then eventually picked up a Bible and started reading through it out of boredom and curiosity. I brainwashed myself with the text within and became convinced that the Christian faith was the one true religion, as you do.

The difference for me was that my two years as a Christian did not improve my life at all. In fact, my life became worse. I became obsessed with appeasing God to the point where I was constantly praying for forgiveness for some perceived infraction against the rules of the Bible.

After 2 years or so of being a Christian I started to question my religion. I was friends with a Muslim girl who used to bring me food to work. She was such a lovely person and a very good friend to me. I asked myself why she should go to hell for worshipping the wrong God and following the wrong religion! I wondered how can good people be punished for not accepting Jesus into their hearts and that is their only crime, yet some selfish asshole can be a cunt their whole life and just pray for forgiveness and be accepted into the kingdom of heaven.

Also I realised that Christianity promoted weak values as well as some morally sound ones. The two types of values were woven together to make the religion more palatable. The religion might promote some good values, but it also promoted servility and submission to figures of authority. This is perfect for corrupt governments who keep passing legislation and promoting ideological currents which add to the degradation of our culture. Passivity and weakness are perfect values to promote so that none will rise up and protect the future of their children. But this isn't just exclusive to Christianity, modern ideological movements like the New Age promote the same kind of weakness.

I also looked into other mythologies and ancient religions which go further back than the origin of Christianity. The Sumerian cuneiform tablets have been carbon dated to be older than the dead Sea scrolls by a millennia! How to reconcile with this information as a Christian?! The stories told in the cuneiform tablets make it clear that the biblical narrative has just plagiarised these much older stories which have been passed down for millennia through various mythologies and cultures.

Now I prefer the wisdom and values promoted by various philosophies and live my life in accordance with this knowledge. I've also tried entheogens which helped me with my depression, forced me to look inwards and taught me the nature of our reality as ancients talked about in Hermetic philosophy. Now my belief system is solidified through the testimony of ancient cultures and the wisdom in their philosophy. And also what I've experienced for myself with entheogens and how these experiences have helped me to grow and become a better person.

I've spoken with Shiva during these psychedelic experiences and he helped me navigate some difficult moments in my life. He told me to be like nature and continue to grow and to flow. He told me that the river doesn't stop once it encounters a boulder in its path, instead it diverts, it adapts and makes a new route to reach its destination. Continue to flow and don't let yourself be stopped by obstacles in your path. In a two hour psychedelic experience Shiva was able to do more for me than Yahweh ever could during my whole two years wasted as a Christian.

I don't criticise people for being Christian, by the way. It just isn't for me personally and I think people should have the freedom to follow whichever faith they choose. But I think some discernment is necessary. It's important to think about everything with a critical mind. To question everything!