How Would You Treat a Really Good Foreign Girlfriend?

[Zambales]

Hey Rudder, I know how you feel. I have a nice Filipina friend who I chat with online a couple of times per day. I always worry that I'm chatting with her too much and she's gonna think "Get a life, Hero" I have to keep reminding myself that Filipinas are different, and they like the constant attention from their BFs. In fact, they can't even stand to be alone for a minute. They simply don't need as much privacy and personal space that Americans do.

So many guys just can't seem to shake the "all women are the same" mentality.

Exactly. I put it down to their lack of experience.

[Zambales]

I totally agree with what you are saying. My personal philosophy is that it is best to find a woman as a poor young man/kid, because if you can get a woman to fall in love you when you have almost nothing, the only way that it will work is by your personality and the way you treat her.

You're living in a fantasy world, kid.

Thinking any woman will fall in love with a poor man is a fantasy. No women will love a poor young man or any poor man. Women want security and protection and a poor man can't give them that. A poor man will have very little luck with any woman anywhere in the world. Money does buy love and it makes obtaining love easier. A man without money will get no love.

What if the woman already has financial security?

[Darrell_Johnston]

Think about it for a second.. Be honest with yourself. If you met a really nice foreign girlfriend would you reciprocate all her good behaviors or would you let your history of insecurities from a lifetime of dealing with bad women get in the way of just being genuine?

Would you promptly respond to all her texts and phone calls? Or would you deliberately ignore her as if using some PUA style technique to get her to chase you even harder?

I have a pretty good foreign girlfriend now. She is definitely the best girlfriend I've had in my life, and seems to be a keeper by all accounts. Yet the sad thing is that I still find myself doubting the relationship due to all the bad past experiences I've had with american women and also other foreign women. On some subconcious level I'm expecting this girl to screw me over and disrespect me as would an american girl...but she seems to show no signs of doing so and I have a very good feeling about this one.

I keep catching myself thinking things like, "OK time to ignore her phone calls and text messages for a couple days, so I don't come off as being "needy." However, whenever I do this, she always just gets irritated and sends more text messages telling me to stop ignoring her. I actually think it's probably harming the relationship when I just tune out and don't check my phone for a couple days. I keep wondering how much of a softie I should let myself be...and I think the answer is that I should be as soft as I naturally am, without getting to the point where I'm allowing myself to be disrespected.

When finding a good girl abroad, it's important to treat her with a clean slate like she is the first girlfriend you've had in your life, before you learned about PUA, before you learned how shitty women can be, before your heart turned cold. Yes, it's possible to find a woman who just wants to be with you because she likes YOU. You don't need to be a provider, an "alpha" male, have a steady job, greencard, etc. Some women will strongly love you simply because of who you are. Your job is to find one of those women and treat her with respect. No more games.

You have to remember that rules made in books like the game are designed for guys with a lack of experience with women, and guys with a lack of experience tend to act needy in their actions and behaviours towards women because they are so excited to have a girl showing an interest in them that their enthusiasm takes over and they end up appearing desperate and blow it.

The rule of making them wait is designed the way most rules of PUA.....to make desperate needy men APPEAR to NOT be needy and desperate (even though they are).

Women like men who have their shit together and a man who has his shit together is a busy man.....he doesn't have time to be texting all the time because his mind is on other things that are not her.

A man who doesn't have his shit together is not busy, he is bored and lonely so his mind is on her CONSTANTLY.....which makes him text her too much and gives her a big red needy flag to watch out for.

So, the rule is to protect the needy bored lonely guy from his own impulses, so he doesn't f**k things up for himself. It's kind of like self discipline I guess.

Those PUA books don't teach men how to get their shit together and become a guy that women like, they only teach guys how to emulate guys who have their shit together.

If you are already in a relatonship.....there is no need to worry about scaring her with too much texts, she is already into you and had told you she wants you to text.....obviously you will know when too much is too much.....but there is no need to deliberately not text her. The only reason you should have to not text is if you are busy and you forgot......but don't do it as a tactic. Text her when ever you feel like texting her, and refrain when you are not in the mood or too busy.....that is the natural way

If you need any more advice just ask.....I love helping guys out with girls, all my friends come to me for relationship advice

[Cornfed]

Who even reads this crap anymore. TL:DR you suck Darrell. Die.

[Darrell_Johnston]

I totally agree with what you are saying. My personal philosophy is that it is best to find a woman as a poor young man/kid, because if you can get a woman to fall in love you when you have almost nothing, the only way that it will work is by your personality and the way you treat her.

Now a lot of people will disagree with me and say that what happens in the future (ex: family problems, financial problems) can still tear these kinds of relationships/marriages apart, but I still believe that if an extremely strong bond can be developed in the early stages, it will be much more likely to last.

Again, this brings back to the fact that most foreign women have better values than the Anglo woman. So many marriages in English speaking countries turn sour when the couple gets older (35+), and it is normally the woman's fault for being entitled, bitchy, empty, and simply not appreciating what the man is doing for her.

Guys who use money as game attract one type of woman.....gold diggers. I always say "if money is all a man has to offer women, money is all that women will want from him"

Gold diggers exist.....but in reality....most women want a man who is bare minimum stable, motivated, resourceful and generous to start a family with.

A stupid rich man flaunts his money and attracts the magpies and the vultures.

A smart rich man downplays his wealth, never lets on how much he has, drives a normal car, lives by his means, dresses normally etc. He knows that if he flaunts it he is going to attract users.

[Zambales]

Think about it for a second.. Be honest with yourself. If you met a really nice foreign girlfriend would you reciprocate all her good behaviors or would you let your history of insecurities from a lifetime of dealing with bad women get in the way of just being genuine?

Would you promptly respond to all her texts and phone calls? Or would you deliberately ignore her as if using some PUA style technique to get her to chase you even harder?

I have a pretty good foreign girlfriend now. She is definitely the best girlfriend I've had in my life, and seems to be a keeper by all accounts. Yet the sad thing is that I still find myself doubting the relationship due to all the bad past experiences I've had with american women and also other foreign women. On some subconcious level I'm expecting this girl to screw me over and disrespect me as would an american girl...but she seems to show no signs of doing so and I have a very good feeling about this one.

I keep catching myself thinking things like, "OK time to ignore her phone calls and text messages for a couple days, so I don't come off as being "needy." However, whenever I do this, she always just gets irritated and sends more text messages telling me to stop ignoring her. I actually think it's probably harming the relationship when I just tune out and don't check my phone for a couple days. I keep wondering how much of a softie I should let myself be...and I think the answer is that I should be as soft as I naturally am, without getting to the point where I'm allowing myself to be disrespected.

When finding a good girl abroad, it's important to treat her with a clean slate like she is the first girlfriend you've had in your life, before you learned about PUA, before you learned how shitty women can be, before your heart turned cold. Yes, it's possible to find a woman who just wants to be with you because she likes YOU. You don't need to be a provider, an "alpha" male, have a steady job, greencard, etc. Some women will strongly love you simply because of who you are. Your job is to find one of those women and treat her with respect. No more games.

Women like men who have their shit together and a man who has his shit together is a busy man.....he doesn't have time to be texting all the time because his mind is on other things that are not her.

A man who doesn't have his shit together is not busy, he is bored and lonely so his mind is on her CONSTANTLY.....which makes him text her too much and gives her a big red needy flag to watch out for.

Yep.

A needy, desperate, clingy guy will totally demolish his sex appeal whether he's a 5/10 or a 9/10 rendering him surplus to requirements.

And it's sex appeal that ramps up a guy's attraction - not necessarily confidence. The women that rank confidence above most traits tend to be confident and outgoing themselves I find. The quieter reserved female won't grade this trait as high.

[Zambales]

I totally agree with what you are saying. My personal philosophy is that it is best to find a woman as a poor young man/kid, because if you can get a woman to fall in love you when you have almost nothing, the only way that it will work is by your personality and the way you treat her.

Now a lot of people will disagree with me and say that what happens in the future (ex: family problems, financial problems) can still tear these kinds of relationships/marriages apart, but I still believe that if an extremely strong bond can be developed in the early stages, it will be much more likely to last.

Again, this brings back to the fact that most foreign women have better values than the Anglo woman. So many marriages in English speaking countries turn sour when the couple gets older (35+), and it is normally the woman's fault for being entitled, bitchy, empty, and simply not appreciating what the man is doing for her.

I always say "if money is all a man has to offer women, money is all that women will want from him"

I wonder if the red pill contingent would like to add anything

[Darrell_Johnston]

Think about it for a second.. Be honest with yourself. If you met a really nice foreign girlfriend would you reciprocate all her good behaviors or would you let your history of insecurities from a lifetime of dealing with bad women get in the way of just being genuine?

Would you promptly respond to all her texts and phone calls? Or would you deliberately ignore her as if using some PUA style technique to get her to chase you even harder?

I have a pretty good foreign girlfriend now. She is definitely the best girlfriend I've had in my life, and seems to be a keeper by all accounts. Yet the sad thing is that I still find myself doubting the relationship due to all the bad past experiences I've had with american women and also other foreign women. On some subconcious level I'm expecting this girl to screw me over and disrespect me as would an american girl...but she seems to show no signs of doing so and I have a very good feeling about this one.

I keep catching myself thinking things like, "OK time to ignore her phone calls and text messages for a couple days, so I don't come off as being "needy." However, whenever I do this, she always just gets irritated and sends more text messages telling me to stop ignoring her. I actually think it's probably harming the relationship when I just tune out and don't check my phone for a couple days. I keep wondering how much of a softie I should let myself be...and I think the answer is that I should be as soft as I naturally am, without getting to the point where I'm allowing myself to be disrespected.

When finding a good girl abroad, it's important to treat her with a clean slate like she is the first girlfriend you've had in your life, before you learned about PUA, before you learned how shitty women can be, before your heart turned cold. Yes, it's possible to find a woman who just wants to be with you because she likes YOU. You don't need to be a provider, an "alpha" male, have a steady job, greencard, etc. Some women will strongly love you simply because of who you are. Your job is to find one of those women and treat her with respect. No more games.

Women like men who have their shit together and a man who has his shit together is a busy man.....he doesn't have time to be texting all the time because his mind is on other things that are not her.

A man who doesn't have his shit together is not busy, he is bored and lonely so his mind is on her CONSTANTLY.....which makes him text her too much and gives her a big red needy flag to watch out for.

Yep.

A needy, desperate, clingy guy will totally demolish his sex appeal whether he's a 5/10 or a 9/10 rendering him surplus to requirements.

And it's sex appeal that ramps up a guy's attraction - not necessarily confidence.

Sex appeal is not always a priority for all women when choosing a long term partner, security and stability is placed as a higher quality than sex appeal.....but being sexy would be a damn good bonus lol. Obviously some women will put sexuality above everything else as all women are different (What??? did Darrell just say all women are different?? what a radical concept!!! )

However, for short term f***ing......then a woman is going to have to find the guy very arousing because.....well obviously....if she cant get off then whats the point in a hook up?

The women that rank confidence above most traits tend to be confident and outgoing themselves I find. The quieter reserved female won't grade this trait as high.

Consider.....there was a study done into the 3 personality types extroversion, neurotic and psychotic and attractiveness

Extroverted women are attracted to leaders, men who are confident and have a following of other men who look up to them for inspiration or direction.

Neurotic women are attracted to quieter guys, they dont need big social groups, they prefer one on one company and someone to treat them nice. I relaly like neurotic girls, they are calm and peaceful and pleasant usually. Most guys dont like them, most guys tend to go for.......

Psychotic......(not psychopathic, thats different) Psychotic means spontaneous, unpredictable, little bit wild. Psychotic girls tend to be highly sexual and extravagantly express their sexuality through their body language and choice of clothing.....probably the most sexy.

I think a big problem most guys have is going for the wrong type of girl.......every guy wants the racy sexy psychotic, but are they compatible with every guy? No.....

[Zambales]

Think about it for a second.. Be honest with yourself. If you met a really nice foreign girlfriend would you reciprocate all her good behaviors or would you let your history of insecurities from a lifetime of dealing with bad women get in the way of just being genuine?

Would you promptly respond to all her texts and phone calls? Or would you deliberately ignore her as if using some PUA style technique to get her to chase you even harder?

I have a pretty good foreign girlfriend now. She is definitely the best girlfriend I've had in my life, and seems to be a keeper by all accounts. Yet the sad thing is that I still find myself doubting the relationship due to all the bad past experiences I've had with american women and also other foreign women. On some subconcious level I'm expecting this girl to screw me over and disrespect me as would an american girl...but she seems to show no signs of doing so and I have a very good feeling about this one.

I keep catching myself thinking things like, "OK time to ignore her phone calls and text messages for a couple days, so I don't come off as being "needy." However, whenever I do this, she always just gets irritated and sends more text messages telling me to stop ignoring her. I actually think it's probably harming the relationship when I just tune out and don't check my phone for a couple days. I keep wondering how much of a softie I should let myself be...and I think the answer is that I should be as soft as I naturally am, without getting to the point where I'm allowing myself to be disrespected.

When finding a good girl abroad, it's important to treat her with a clean slate like she is the first girlfriend you've had in your life, before you learned about PUA, before you learned how shitty women can be, before your heart turned cold. Yes, it's possible to find a woman who just wants to be with you because she likes YOU. You don't need to be a provider, an "alpha" male, have a steady job, greencard, etc. Some women will strongly love you simply because of who you are. Your job is to find one of those women and treat her with respect. No more games.

Women like men who have their shit together and a man who has his shit together is a busy man.....he doesn't have time to be texting all the time because his mind is on other things that are not her.

A man who doesn't have his shit together is not busy, he is bored and lonely so his mind is on her CONSTANTLY.....which makes him text her too much and gives her a big red needy flag to watch out for.

Yep.

A needy, desperate, clingy guy will totally demolish his sex appeal whether he's a 5/10 or a 9/10 rendering him surplus to requirements.

And it's sex appeal that ramps up a guy's attraction - not necessarily confidence.

Sex appeal is not always a priority for all women when choosing a long term partner, security and stability is placed as a higher quality than sex appeal.....but being sexy would be a damn good bonus lol.

I think if a guy has an aura about him which translates to her that he's capable of providing the security and stability she desires, that can be classed as a form of sex appeal too.

I find a woman with an aura to be far more sexy than those without - and like you, I find the psychotic types unattractive. Fraternizing with those loons are enough to send a man red pill.

[Darrell_Johnston]

I think if a guy has an aura about him which translates to her that he's capable of providing the security and stability she desires, that can be classed as a form of sex appeal too.

Hmmm, I get your point....but I disagree sex appeal and security are 2 separate qualities, some men have both, some men have one or the other......and some poor bastards have neither.

Sex appeal is about a mans ability to be arousing to a woman, arousing her sexuality.

Security is......just stability and resourcefulness which has its own appeal for women......I wouldn't link that to sexual arousal. Many women have settled for men they are not turned on sexually by because the appeal of security was more important. . Unfortunately for the man.....if he cant provide her with both then she will look for it elsewhere.

My last friends with benefits had a rich japanese provider BF who gave her an allowance and paid for everything for her. She came to me for sexual fulfilment because he was unable to give that to her.....guess how much money I spent on her......nothing......he took her to fancy restaurants and hotels and day trips.....I told her from the start that I cant be her provider but I can provide her with orgasms.....and she needed orgasms so she would come to my place, no dates, no money, no nothing.

It really rings true to my personal philosophy....if money is all you have to offer, money is all they will want. Its why I laugh when I hear beta cucks using the "women only want money" argument.

I find a woman with an aura to be far more sexy than those without - and like you, I find the psychotic types unattractive. Fraternizing with those loons are enough to send a man red pill.

Its not that psychotic women are loons, they are just different psychologically to you, they require a certain kind of guy......I know how to game psychotic girls, they are the types who respond to hot and cold and negging etc......I guess the game was written with psychotics in mind?

[Zambales]

Hmmm, I get your point....but I disagree sex appeal and security are 2 separate qualities, some men have both, some men have one or the other......and some poor bastards have neither.

Leave Cornfed out of this please

Sex appeal is about a mans ability to be arousing to a woman, arousing her sexuality.

Desirability can be another way of describing it.

My last friends with benefits had a rich japanese provider BF who gave her an allowance and paid for everything for her. She came to me for sexual fulfilment because he was unable to give that to her.....guess how much money I spent on her......nothing......he took her to fancy restaurants and hotels and day trips.....I told her from the start that I cant be her provider but I can provide her with orgasms.....and she needed orgasms so she would come to my place, no dates, no money, no nothing.

Should have invoiced the entitled slut for services rendered. Missed a trick there Darrell.

It really rings true to my personal philosophy....if money is all you have to offer, money is all they will want. Its why I laugh when I hear beta cucks using the "women only want money" argument.

In terms of a proper relationship women want security like you stated earlier. To most it's in the form of money, money, money. To the remainder it's in the form of a loving and stable relationship. Finding one that fits the latter description....is.....um....sort of difficult in the West as they're going the way of the dodo - and this is why guys are looking overseas.

Its not that psychotic women are loons, they are just different psychologically to you, they require a certain kind of guy......I know how to game psychotic girls, they are the types who respond to hot and cold and negging etc......I guess the game was written with psychotics in mind?

A good proportion of women are loons. You just haven't realised it yet. The worst offenders are the screwballs who salivate at being mercilessly thumped about by a burly bad boy.

[Darrell_Johnston]

Hmmm, I get your point....but I disagree sex appeal and security are 2 separate qualities, some men have both, some men have one or the other......and some poor bastards have neither.

Leave Cornfed out of this please

Thats mean

Sex appeal is about a mans ability to be arousing to a woman, arousing her sexuality.

Desirability can be another way of describing it.

Sex appeal is a form of desirability

My last friends with benefits had a rich japanese provider BF who gave her an allowance and paid for everything for her. She came to me for sexual fulfilment because he was unable to give that to her.....guess how much money I spent on her......nothing......he took her to fancy restaurants and hotels and day trips.....I told her from the start that I cant be her provider but I can provide her with orgasms.....and she needed orgasms so she would come to my place, no dates, no money, no nothing.

Should have invoiced the entitled slut for services rendered. Missed a trick there Darrell.

One thing that makes me different from most men when it comes to women is........I never judge them. Non-judgemental acceptance is a missing link in the puzzle for a lot of guys. Probably the biggest thing that women fear the most when sleeping with men is the fear of being judged for it, she will never sleep with a man who she suspects will be judgemental of her decision to sleep with him.

Men who understand womens nature go one of two ways......understanding with condemnation or understanding with acceptance. When you understand with acceptance and non-judgemental acceptance.....you see a side to women that most men never see and they open up to you in ways they will never open up to most men.

Every man needs to know that if he wants to have a long term relationship, he should know how to satisfy her......if not, she will have no choice but to look elsewhere.....sexual fulfilment is a basic human need, people go insane without it.

It really rings true to my personal philosophy....if money is all you have to offer, money is all they will want. Its why I laugh when I hear beta cucks using the "women only want money" argument.

In terms of a proper relationship women want security like you stated earlier. To most it's in the form of money, money, money. To the remainder it's in the form of a loving and stable relationship. Finding one that fits the latter description....is.....um....sort of difficult in the West as they're going the way of the dodo - and this is why guys are looking overseas.

I disagree that its about money, money to most. Most just want a man who is stable enough to get through life.

It's easier in certain countries because of first world status, an idolisation of western people and the exoticness of a man from a foreign land. Thats a powerful combination. Though I am in Asia now and have traveled to many countries and I can tell you.....that more choice isnt always better for every guy, a lot of guys struggle to get dates overseas too, there is a guy on one of the expat groups where I am now contstantly complaining about girls flaking on him, trying to scam him and using him. I know another guy who complains that all the local girls only want money from western guys.....but thats what he uses for bait. Alot of guys travel and still dont enjoy their experiences.....I dont see travel as a magic fix.....at least not for guys who havent got the male female social dynamics thinh figured out yet

Its not that psychotic women are loons, they are just different psychologically to you, they require a certain kind of guy......I know how to game psychotic girls, they are the types who respond to hot and cold and negging etc......I guess the game was written with psychotics in mind?

A good proportion of women are loons. You just haven't realised it yet. The worst offenders are the screwballs who salivate at being mercilessly thumped about by a burly bad boy.

I was just trying to emphasise that many people misunderstand the term "psychotic" for "psychopathic", we all are part psychotic, its just a psychological state where our imulses and urges come from.....it doesnt mean loon.

A good proportion of people are loons. For every loon woman who is attracted to violent men.....there is a violent male loon who is attracted to loons who can be walked over. Also, not every woman who gets beaten by a man is a loon, sometimes they are just weak vulnerable naive women and are easily controlled and manipulated.....same goes for some men who return to abusive women. Relationships are complicated man.

[MrMan]

Don't blame her for all the difficulties you have had with women in the past. You would not like it if she assumed you were like the bad boys she had met.

After I met my wife and we were getting to know each other, I was hesitant about talking about marriage. America single men are a bit hesitant about girls discussing marriage. I'd picked up on that idea. But I realized I was too uptight about that topic. If it doesn't work out, and your conversation on the topic led her on, that's a problem for her. You might break her heart more. But you can still discuss what you want in a partner. Dating is theoretically a way of finding someone to marry. Asians tend to view it more that way than Americans, do. At least, that was my impression in Indonesia, and I think Filippinas are like that, too.

If you have already established that you like each other, there is no reason to play a game where you don't answer her texts, etc. It's just slowing down the process, IMO. Spend time talking with her to see if you want to marry her. If you know it isn't going to happen, let her go before you get too far along.

[Darrell_Johnston]

" If you know it isn't going to happen, let her go before you get too far along."

Or tell her you have no intention of marrying her and give her the opportunity to stay with you as long as she wants, dont interfere with her pursuit of Mr right

[Zambales]

Sex appeal is about a mans ability to be arousing to a woman, arousing her sexuality.

Desirability can be another way of describing it.

Sex appeal is a form of desirability

That's what I said!

One thing that makes me different from most men when it comes to women is........I never judge them. Non-judgemental acceptance is a missing link in the puzzle for a lot of guys. Probably the biggest thing that women fear the most when sleeping with men is the fear of being judged for it, she will never sleep with a man who she suspects will be judgemental of her decision to sleep with him.

I think casting judgement is the last thing on a guys mind prior to sex somehow .

I disagree that its about money, money to most. Most just want a man who is stable enough to get through life.

That applies a lot more to non-western women IMO

Also, not every woman who gets beaten by a man is a loon, sometimes they are just weak vulnerable naive women and are easily controlled and manipulated....

I'm referring to the ones who are attracted to the nasty violent males. The types who see a normal, decent, respectful guy, as some kind of demented freak.