eurobrat wrote:Oh get real Duende
Italian culture is not far off from American at all, especially those raised by our born Italian grandparents. I could write a compare and contrast thesis paper comparing the two and there would be more comparisons than contrasts. Sorry but I grew up with the same religious practicing, food, loving family, hospitable environment, Italian traditions and so on.
Maybe so, but then I wonder how you could feel so far removed and frustrated by things that you say you experimented a lot during your childhood and teen years.
You said your first gf, and probably the hottest you ever had, was introduced to you by your family, something that still happens quite a lot in Italy. However it turned out, why did you hate the idea that something like that could happen to you in Italy? Social circles -> introductions -> dating, same pattern. What's so outdated or scandalising?
Your biggest mistake is that you wanted to forget all you were and cherished and shoehorn Italy into what you wanted Italy to be. You used to moan a lot about Italy been too antiquated, backward-looking and closed-off, yet I know you too well and I know you secretly long the depth and quality of those kinds of relationships. Yet, you never wanted to put the effort to work on it.
So Italy was sometimes too different for your tastes, or too similar to the US for your tastes. You always had an excuse ready to justify yourself out of any responsibility you had to face to feel accepted and welcome.
Berlin is surely giving you an easier time because social interactions are more casual and easier to come and go. It's not the same thing, though.
eurobrat wrote:My problem might come from other things like my bitterness, disdain for life, negative and cyclical attitude but my background isn't far off from yours.
Which begs the question: why did you let all that happen to you??? We indeed built up (what I believed was) a valuable rapport because we had quite a few things in common, from the same hostel and university experiences in London to your Italian background. How you could destroy all this just so you could get a free "get out of guilt" ticket, I found it an appalling betrayal on your side, and a big red flag of immaturity. If I hadn't considered myself your friend I would have cared a LOT less, but it wasn't so.
I couldn't find a better explanation than your mental state being bent out of shape by endless months of loneliness and social frustration. And that is the better explanation, as it rules out any evil purpose. You are not a bad person, but you should stop and reflect how your games may hurt people and indeed shoo them away from establish meaningful connections with you. You may then complain about not having meaningful connections which reinforces the hate cycle. Rinse & repeat.
I dearly hope this cycle is now broken. Good for you if that is the case.
