THIS MAY SHOCK YOU: THE BIGGEST REASON FOR FAILURE ABROAD

[Dragon]

Now this may shock you but honestly I think the biggest reason for why most guys fail abroad is TIME and MONEY and Lack of a plan that will work under those conditions.

Plan 1) Guy goes to asia for a vacation girlfriend cause he is only there for a few months. He WANTS a good woman t hat maybe could lead to a wife someday but realizes with the lack of time and money to truly pursue that it will be hard to achieve as he goes back home.
Plan 2) Guy is there for 2 weeks and winds up with bar girls. He also wishes he could find something better but 2 weeks is all the time he can get away from work (or has the money to afford).
Plan 3) Guy thinks he wants love but then after meeting a few girls he gets discouraged and realizes he will be on a departing flight in a few months. He gives up because he knows its stupid to bother his search and then looks for easy girls online or at the bars.


Do you see the all the common denominator? Its all based on time and money. All 3 guys WISH for a long term serious girlfriend possibly leading to marriage, but the time and money aspect constrain them and they wind up taking the easy route. Most filipinas know this too, which is why most dont trust foreigners.

I believe this was a huge factor in me cause i was always working everyday and stressed about my income so I wanted the "easiest" options available especially since I knew i would never stay long (1 to 6 months at a time). think when one goes abroad they need a gameplan. You just can't wander around withut a plan. I think for now since i dont know what i want on a lot of things I will just to be visiting new countries acclimating myself and to learn the cultures and not be focused just on women or wife hunting or doing work all day on my computer. Since ill be quitting my main source of online work in the near future ill have the time to not be holed up on my computer so much. That was a huge problem before and actually probably led me to my detriment cause wh at was happening was i was so busy with work i didn't have the time to meet decent women and i was stressed about my finances. In the future ill be only making chump change from that low key stuff and ill just enjoy my vacatino and not even worry about that stuff.

Good job, you finally figured it out. I just logged in to say this. I'm proud of you son.

[hammanta]

I'm not shrugging off time or money, yes they are factors, but to me the biggest reasons for failure are not being proactive, indecisive motives, and "putting the p***y on the pedestal." To me 3-6 months is enough time to find a good wife, but it's also enough time to second guess your motives for going.

Take Guy A for instance. Meets a girl he likes a lot online and plans to meet her. Takes 3 months off and heads to her country. While he is there he is exposed to other girls both naughty and nice that show interest in him. He begins to second guess whether he wants to get married. He looks at the girl who used to rock his world as now being average and he thinks why settle down when I can potentially have the pick of the litter. This guy will more likely than not never be satisfied again, or at least to the point when his libido starts to diminish.

As I think someone else mentioned, having a set plan and sticking to it is the key to success. You can't be wishy-washy on your motives and expect a certain end result.

Another is being realistic. I don't think I've met or heard of anyone heading to a country for 2-3 weeks without any plan or connections trying to meet a wife in that time frame. Some may BS that reason as a way to cover their true motives of just wanting some play but I seriously doubt anyone expects that outcome. And even then it's still possible. Hell on my first trip of slightly less than a month, I met an attractive professional girl I'd be in a long distance relationship for 9 months past our initial meetup.

And as I've said time and time again, be active. Don't just stay in your apartment or hotel all day and expect to find the love of your life. Newlife I understand your work situation but this can be good advice for others who don't work 20 hours a day. It doesn't cost much money to go out and do things. If one is so absorbed with sex, sex, sex, and doesn't have the time or willpower to actually get to know and appreciate the local culture than they will fail big time. And if they are absorbed with those feelings, then they aren't in the country to find a wife to begin with.

3 to 6 months isn't even enough time to get to know a girl. You may find the wife but youd have to make multiple trips over years of that to confirm it.

You sort of are struggling for time cause you only go there for what 1 or 2 months at a time? Thats not enough to really establish anything your in "rush mentality". Albeit at least you have the time though to spend all day running around and courting women. I couldn't do that with my work load i wantt o keep up every single day and not miss a day of work and i need to retire from what i do as soon as possible so id feel guilty for making less if i stopped early. Its a no win situation. But guys like you who take 1 or 2 months off I guess who plan to have a career for many years i guess can take their time. But you have lack of money and time too cause otherwise you could be there for 6 months or live there, but thats not plausible either for you right now.

I also don't plan on meeting a wife in the near future. My trips are exploration mainly, women second.

My point of view is from people who have done it and are still together. I know two couples off hand where they met online, spoke for a while and then he went to visit for a short time (no more than 2-3 months). Eventually proposed whether online or in person. I'm definitely not saying it's easy, but I'm saying it's possible. But as you mentioned, if you have 6 months of nothing to do but meet women, then its gonna be easier than if you had to work most of the time. I know American couples who got married in 6 months or less and its still working. Usually the Fil-Am. couples, the man is middle aged or older so he's ready to settle down. Where as I'm 25 and definitely not ready yet. When I am 30-40 I'm sure this will change, but perhaps not.

[newlifeinphilippines]

I'm not shrugging off time or money, yes they are factors, but to me the biggest reasons for failure are not being proactive, indecisive motives, and "putting the p***y on the pedestal." To me 3-6 months is enough time to find a good wife, but it's also enough time to second guess your motives for going.

Take Guy A for instance. Meets a girl he likes a lot online and plans to meet her. Takes 3 months off and heads to her country. While he is there he is exposed to other girls both naughty and nice that show interest in him. He begins to second guess whether he wants to get married. He looks at the girl who used to rock his world as now being average and he thinks why settle down when I can potentially have the pick of the litter. This guy will more likely than not never be satisfied again, or at least to the point when his libido starts to diminish.

As I think someone else mentioned, having a set plan and sticking to it is the key to success. You can't be wishy-washy on your motives and expect a certain end result.

Another is being realistic. I don't think I've met or heard of anyone heading to a country for 2-3 weeks without any plan or connections trying to meet a wife in that time frame. Some may BS that reason as a way to cover their true motives of just wanting some play but I seriously doubt anyone expects that outcome. And even then it's still possible. Hell on my first trip of slightly less than a month, I met an attractive professional girl I'd be in a long distance relationship for 9 months past our initial meetup.

And as I've said time and time again, be active. Don't just stay in your apartment or hotel all day and expect to find the love of your life. Newlife I understand your work situation but this can be good advice for others who don't work 20 hours a day. It doesn't cost much money to go out and do things. If one is so absorbed with sex, sex, sex, and doesn't have the time or willpower to actually get to know and appreciate the local culture than they will fail big time. And if they are absorbed with those feelings, then they aren't in the country to find a wife to begin with.

3 to 6 months isn't even enough time to get to know a girl. You may find the wife but youd have to make multiple trips over years of that to confirm it.

You sort of are struggling for time cause you only go there for what 1 or 2 months at a time? Thats not enough to really establish anything your in "rush mentality". Albeit at least you have the time though to spend all day running around and courting women. I couldn't do that with my work load i wantt o keep up every single day and not miss a day of work and i need to retire from what i do as soon as possible so id feel guilty for making less if i stopped early. Its a no win situation. But guys like you who take 1 or 2 months off I guess who plan to have a career for many years i guess can take their time. But you have lack of money and time too cause otherwise you could be there for 6 months or live there, but thats not plausible either for you right now.

I also don't plan on meeting a wife in the near future. My trips are exploration mainly, women second.

My point of view is from people who have done it and are still together. I know two couples off hand where they met online, spoke for a while and then he went to visit for a short time (no more than 2-3 months). Eventually proposed whether online or in person. I'm definitely not saying it's easy, but I'm saying it's possible. But as you mentioned, if you have 6 months of nothing to do but meet women, then its gonna be easier than if you had to work most of the time. I know American couples who got married in 6 months or less and its still working. Usually the Fil-Am. couples, the man is middle aged or older so he's ready to settle down. Where as I'm 25 and definitely not ready yet. When I am 30-40 I'm sure this will change, but perhaps not.

Im just gonna focus on God. If i travel it will be for other reasons. If i find a wife along the way great but it wont be the primary reason. Im not even focused on women right now spiritually i got bigger fish to fry then superficial stuff like that. In a few years you may want to settle down even less. For me the whole kids and wife search seems way too difficult and I probably wont find what I want and its a distraction anyways. As your libido goes down as you get older and you start reevaluating things in life you may become more MGTOW. The apostles and disciples were single so I always remember that one of the greatest things in life is to acheive even more as a single person. take that time and resources to do even more good then if you were buckled down with kids and responsibilities.

[davewe]

I'm not shrugging off time or money, yes they are factors, but to me the biggest reasons for failure are not being proactive, indecisive motives, and "putting the p***y on the pedestal." To me 3-6 months is enough time to find a good wife, but it's also enough time to second guess your motives for going.

Take Guy A for instance. Meets a girl he likes a lot online and plans to meet her. Takes 3 months off and heads to her country. While he is there he is exposed to other girls both naughty and nice that show interest in him. He begins to second guess whether he wants to get married. He looks at the girl who used to rock his world as now being average and he thinks why settle down when I can potentially have the pick of the litter. This guy will more likely than not never be satisfied again, or at least to the point when his libido starts to diminish.

As I think someone else mentioned, having a set plan and sticking to it is the key to success. You can't be wishy-washy on your motives and expect a certain end result.

Another is being realistic. I don't think I've met or heard of anyone heading to a country for 2-3 weeks without any plan or connections trying to meet a wife in that time frame. Some may BS that reason as a way to cover their true motives of just wanting some play but I seriously doubt anyone expects that outcome. And even then it's still possible. Hell on my first trip of slightly less than a month, I met an attractive professional girl I'd be in a long distance relationship for 9 months past our initial meetup.

And as I've said time and time again, be active. Don't just stay in your apartment or hotel all day and expect to find the love of your life. Newlife I understand your work situation but this can be good advice for others who don't work 20 hours a day. It doesn't cost much money to go out and do things. If one is so absorbed with sex, sex, sex, and doesn't have the time or willpower to actually get to know and appreciate the local culture than they will fail big time. And if they are absorbed with those feelings, then they aren't in the country to find a wife to begin with.

This is the answer that resonates with me. Time and money, while somewhat important, take a back seat to attitude, goals and determination. How much can be accomplished in a week or two if you're determined - and how little can be accomplished in a decade if you're lazy and unfocused.

It's up to you. The world is waiting for you!

[newlifeinphilippines]

I'm not shrugging off time or money, yes they are factors, but to me the biggest reasons for failure are not being proactive, indecisive motives, and "putting the p***y on the pedestal." To me 3-6 months is enough time to find a good wife, but it's also enough time to second guess your motives for going.

Take Guy A for instance. Meets a girl he likes a lot online and plans to meet her. Takes 3 months off and heads to her country. While he is there he is exposed to other girls both naughty and nice that show interest in him. He begins to second guess whether he wants to get married. He looks at the girl who used to rock his world as now being average and he thinks why settle down when I can potentially have the pick of the litter. This guy will more likely than not never be satisfied again, or at least to the point when his libido starts to diminish.

As I think someone else mentioned, having a set plan and sticking to it is the key to success. You can't be wishy-washy on your motives and expect a certain end result.

Another is being realistic. I don't think I've met or heard of anyone heading to a country for 2-3 weeks without any plan or connections trying to meet a wife in that time frame. Some may BS that reason as a way to cover their true motives of just wanting some play but I seriously doubt anyone expects that outcome. And even then it's still possible. Hell on my first trip of slightly less than a month, I met an attractive professional girl I'd be in a long distance relationship for 9 months past our initial meetup.

And as I've said time and time again, be active. Don't just stay in your apartment or hotel all day and expect to find the love of your life. Newlife I understand your work situation but this can be good advice for others who don't work 20 hours a day. It doesn't cost much money to go out and do things. If one is so absorbed with sex, sex, sex, and doesn't have the time or willpower to actually get to know and appreciate the local culture than they will fail big time. And if they are absorbed with those feelings, then they aren't in the country to find a wife to begin with.

This is the answer that resonates with me. Time and money, while somewhat important, take a back seat to attitude, goals and determination. How much can be accomplished in a week or two if you're determined - and how little can be accomplished in a decade if you're lazy and unfocused.

It's up to you. The world is waiting for you!

'

yeah so in other words if we are not sure what we want or think we may fall into bad stuff it may be better to stay home.

[MrMan]

If you want to marry someone from abroad, I can see a few realistic alternatives:

1. Meet a girl online. Chat, email, Skype her. Build up a relationship. Then go meet her for 2 weeks or marry while you are there. I've known a few girls in Indonesia who met men that way.
2. Go for two weeks, meet a decent girl, then do the online thing and go back to marry her later or fly her here on a 90 day fiancé visa.
3. Hire a matchmaker to match you up with a woman. Interview dozens of girls and marry one of them in a few weeks time.
4. Get a job in a country were you would like to meet your wife.

Number 3 is risky, and maybe even kind of crazy. Some Asian men do this with Vietnamese women. You could probably do that if you added an extra $5k to $10k of matchmaker fees to your trip.

If you have a friend who is from the target country, maybe a couple where the wife is from overseas and she's got sisters, cousins, etc. back home to match you up with, it might be a bit less of a risk. At least a referral from a friend is less likely, IMO, to be an outright rip off.

I suppose you could meet a nice girl and whirlwind romance her into marrying you. I met a Russian woman whose husband did that. He went wife hunting in Russia. The girl he was interested in accepted a proposal from another man. So she recommended her friend. He hired her as an interpreter and got to know her as she showed him around. Then he proposed. Somehow, she decided to say yes.

[starchild5]

Sorry NLP,

But the problem is you...Your DNA ...You are way too singular....You can only do one thing at a time....You need to learn from Winston a lot. How he juggles multiple things at one time....You don't even go into Philosophies and yet you seem to lack time, you don't maintain a forum, do SEO and yet you have no time...You don't have a kid and yet you fail abroad...sigh ..I'm not sure, how your equation with parents are, your relative...Do you meet them, live with them?

You make more than 90% of us and yet..You don't have any time...I don't think you still get it....You are blaming everyone else but yourself. .... Its not racism...We all are way past it...We all have defects...We need to learn...As I said..Be a Student of humanity...Learn from others...

I'm really surprised and shocked on your events in Philippines and the way you are writing now...You must go to India...Don't listen to BS on India...It will open you a lot to other possibilities....It will expand your views on life..

You need to travel to other so called "third world countries" ..learn from others...Be a Student....Don't waste your potential...


I don't understand why you are having so many problems even when you have US passport, green card and plenty of dollars...Have you thought about that? ...Travel to India...You must or China and see how they roll in-spite of the odds..We all need to learn...from others to evolve...Money and time isn't the only equation in life....if we learn from others...we can make the maximum out of it...

[hammanta]

If you want to marry someone from abroad, I can see a few realistic alternatives:

1. Meet a girl online. Chat, email, Skype her. Build up a relationship. Then go meet her for 2 weeks or marry while you are there. I've known a few girls in Indonesia who met men that way.
2. Go for two weeks, meet a decent girl, then do the online thing and go back to marry her later or fly her here on a 90 day fiancé visa.
3. Hire a matchmaker to match you up with a woman. Interview dozens of girls and marry one of them in a few weeks time.
4. Get a job in a country were you would like to meet your wife.

Number 3 is risky, and maybe even kind of crazy. Some Asian men do this with Vietnamese women. You could probably do that if you added an extra $5k to $10k of matchmaker fees to your trip.

If you have a friend who is from the target country, maybe a couple where the wife is from overseas and she's got sisters, cousins, etc. back home to match you up with, it might be a bit less of a risk. At least a referral from a friend is less likely, IMO, to be an outright rip off.

I suppose you could meet a nice girl and whirlwind romance her into marrying you. I met a Russian woman whose husband did that. He went wife hunting in Russia. The girl he was interested in accepted a proposal from another man. So she recommended her friend. He hired her as an interpreter and got to know her as she showed him around. Then he proposed. Somehow, she decided to say yes.

Number 1 and 2 are obviously the most common means. The guys who are actually successful are hell bent on finding a wife. Though far too often a guy is just lonely and sexually frustrated and gets on those sites believing he wants a wife only to come away with nothing but an ego booster. To me the most successful are the ones who work there or near the area. I know a guy who married a filipina because he was headquartered in Singapore but traveled every few months to the Philippines for business trips. That would be an ideal situation for most but sigh, the opportunity seems to elude most.

[newlifeinphilippines]

Sorry NLP,

But the problem is you...Your DNA ...You are way too singular....You can only do one thing at a time....You need to learn from Winston a lot. How he juggles multiple things at one time....You don't even go into Philosophies and yet you seem to lack time, you don't maintain a forum, do SEO and yet you have no time...You don't have a kid and yet you fail abroad...sigh ..I'm not sure, how your equation with parents are, your relative...Do you meet them, live with them?

You make more than 90% of us and yet..You don't have any time...I don't think you still get it....You are blaming everyone else but yourself. .... Its not racism...We all are way past it...We all have defects...We need to learn...As I said..Be a Student of humanity...Learn from others...

I'm really surprised and shocked on your events in Philippines and the way you are writing now...You must go to India...Don't listen to BS on India...It will open you a lot to other possibilities....It will expand your views on life..

You need to travel to other so called "third world countries" ..learn from others...Be a Student....Don't waste your potential...


I don't understand why you are having so many problems even when you have US passport, green card and plenty of dollars...Have you thought about that? ...Travel to India...You must or China and see how they roll in-spite of the odds..We all need to learn...from others to evolve...Money and time isn't the only equation in life....if we learn from others...we can make the maximum out of it...

yes I ama singular person LOL. Im not gonna really pursue women as my main focus anymore. I got bigger fish to fry. Funny the closer i get to God the more I dont need women. If i travel im probably gonna do something radical like check out india and other countries to increase my spirituality. Ill probably go to phil too but im not in a hurry to travel right now.

[newlifeinphilippines]

If you want to marry someone from abroad, I can see a few realistic alternatives:

1. Meet a girl online. Chat, email, Skype her. Build up a relationship. Then go meet her for 2 weeks or marry while you are there. I've known a few girls in Indonesia who met men that way.
2. Go for two weeks, meet a decent girl, then do the online thing and go back to marry her later or fly her here on a 90 day fiancé visa.
3. Hire a matchmaker to match you up with a woman. Interview dozens of girls and marry one of them in a few weeks time.
4. Get a job in a country were you would like to meet your wife.

Number 3 is risky, and maybe even kind of crazy. Some Asian men do this with Vietnamese women. You could probably do that if you added an extra $5k to $10k of matchmaker fees to your trip.

If you have a friend who is from the target country, maybe a couple where the wife is from overseas and she's got sisters, cousins, etc. back home to match you up with, it might be a bit less of a risk. At least a referral from a friend is less likely, IMO, to be an outright rip off.

I suppose you could meet a nice girl and whirlwind romance her into marrying you. I met a Russian woman whose husband did that. He went wife hunting in Russia. The girl he was interested in accepted a proposal from another man. So she recommended her friend. He hired her as an interpreter and got to know her as she showed him around. Then he proposed. Somehow, she decided to say yes.

Number 1 and 2 are obviously the most common means. The guys who are actually successful are hell bent on finding a wife. Though far too often a guy is just lonely and sexually frustrated and gets on those sites believing he wants a wife only to come away with nothing but an ego booster. To me the most successful are the ones who work there or near the area. I know a guy who married a filipina because he was headquartered in Singapore but traveled every few months to the Philippines for business trips. That would be an ideal situation for most but sigh, the opportunity seems to elude most.

yeah if you dont want a wife you need to realize that before you get on teh plane that maybe your just not ready and that you should either not go at all for now or Focus your trip on other things and if a woman comes along that is marriage material great but it wont be your only focus. The 3rd option is to plop yourself into one location for most of your trip and find a vacation girlfriend or to mass date or whatever and hope you find someone by accident in your relatively short time but I think this is a bad approach.

[Chrissays]

What if it's not time and money?

For myself, I'm already making plans to head to Asia to permanently live (and travel). There's nothing for me here.

I slowly failed with women here in the USA (I didn't quit, I just get no women, or a very very small amount for an enormous amount of effort, and the small results I got didn't pan out to anything).

Is there any pre-determiner or litmus test, to predict my success (big or small) with dating in China (Asia)?

I'm going there either way (again, there's nothing for me here) and the environment in Asia will probably make me happier, more so than here.

But getting women is a main contributor, just like how it is for most people on this forum who go abroad.

[hammanta]

What if it's not time and money?

For myself, I'm already making plans to head to Asia to permanently live (and travel). There's nothing for me here.

I slowly failed with women here in the USA (I didn't quit, I just get no women, or a very very small amount for an enormous amount of effort, and the small results I got didn't pan out to anything).

Is there any pre-determiner or litmus test, to predict my success (big or small) with dating in China (Asia)?

I'm going there either way (again, there's nothing for me here) and the environment in Asia will probably make me happier, more so than here.

But getting women is a main contributor, just like how it is for most people on this forum who go abroad.

Granted this is coming from a guy who has never been to China. Perhaps Ghost and Droid can chime in. But my two cents is if you are putting yourself out there, than you will do better in Asia than the U.S. Don't be a home body, get involved and appreciate the culture, and you should find some women who will be interested in you. Granted not every chick is going to be amazing or compatible with you. But I think you will have more opportunity and will be happier abroad. It also depends what you look like. You don't have to be real good looking, but if you are obese, or really short, or just quite ugly, you are going to have a harder time than say "Joe Average."