Winston, so why are you still in Taiwan??

[eurobrat]

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[WorldTraveler]

Winston, you need a mental Enema! You need to purge your demons!

This Forum is very negative........betting people they can't succeed with women! This Forum should be uplifting!

I'll approach Asian women in the USA. No problem!

[eurobrat]

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[woodwater]

Aura healings in the Philippines? The PH is not a spiritual place at all and not conducive to it. I don't need healing. I need pressure so I can get moving. I'm sure I'm not the only one here with this problem. Lots of guys here have been talking about going abroad for a long time. Why don't they just go to the airport and go? Something in their mind is working against them too, making up excuses everyday, distracting them, etc. We all are our own worst enemies. Ever experience that too Jester? Did you see this other thread I started that got a lot of people mad? "Why do many of you want to go abroad but never do?" viewtopic.php?t=12403 So you see, sadly, we are not in 100 percent control of our actions and thoughts. There is a negative part of our mind that seeks pain and failure and tries to bring us down and self-sabotage us. I don't know why. Do you? Can you explain it?

Does this topic give you pressure. Will this topic contribute in your eventual moval? At least you're thinking about it more because of us. About the negative part. I think you mean pessimism. Deep down you're not completely content or not in a place which stimulates your aura in a positive way. So you're unconsious letting out negative thoughts which is also called pessimism.

Well my main objectives now, which have been for two years, are to: 1. Put on YouTube the rest of my Russia and Eastern Europe videos, including the ones from Poland. I was trying to do that the last three years, but my mind keeps making excuses. 2. Publish my ebook, but first have to update it. I was trying to do this in January 2011 (where the f**k did the time go?), but then I had to fly back to the Philippines and then Mr S gave me that editing job with the RPG company in Manila, which kept me occupied for months. Then I developed health problems and got lazy and drowsy due to the heat, humidity and discomfort living in Angeles City. Then I came to Taiwan and felt repressed and depressed, and my mind went into escape with movies and got addicted to wasting time arguing on this forum and others. These don't sound like big deals. But every time I try to do them, my mind makes excuses. WTF is wrong with me and my mind? Why are simple things so hard? Why does my own mind block me? I don't understand. It's not logical. I wish I had full control over my actions, but I don't for some reason. My mind keeps delaying and sabotaging everything, making simple projects hard to do. What the f**k is happening? I can't even start a project that was supposed to be done in January of 2011. Why the f**k does time go by so fast? You get distracted by new things everyday and the months fly by! WTF?! I have no fricking idea how that happens! Honestly! What can I do? Does anyone else have these problems too? I also have shitty time management skills. I think the only way to hurry up and finish things is to remove all distractions, including phone calls, and just hurry up and do your shit. I am also a perfectionist who needs things done in a certain order. So for example, I wanted to publish my ebook in January 2011, so I don't feel that I can continue with my next plan, until I finish that first. Otherwise, there is a feeling of incompleteness that lingers in my mind. See what I mean? It sucks to be a perfectionist. There's a lot of shit I wanted to do in 2008

being a 9 fire this year is good for moving as theres some stagnation but an equal need for change, 9 years ago must have been similar in 2003, good directions are west and east and north

[chanta76]

I think we all have a belly ache. I mean here in the states I'm surrounded by fat, ugly and mean girls. At least in Taiwan the girls might be mean but at least it's all eye candy.

[momopi]

The reason I didn't answer this thread is because I'm TRYING to curb my forum addiction and TRYING to be involved in LESS threads, not more. There's no other way to stop an addiction than to avoid unnecessary topics.
It's not because I don't have the money. I have nearly 20k USD saved up now. So why can't I just leave? Well because...
<snip>
No I haven't been to any massage parlors or brothels since Rock took me to one long ago during Spring. I have tried to, but my mind tries to make excuses not to. Maybe the fear and nervousness that dominates people in Taiwan has rubbed off on me? If so, then Taiwan is very toxic to me and turns me into something that I don't want to be.

1. None of the excuses given really prevents you from buying a plane (or boat) ticket to China. If you have time management issues, order a Franklin Covey Day Planner and learn how to use it:
http://franklinplanner.fcorgp.com/store/

2. There's too much crap on this forum. This forum is about traveling, working, and living abroad. That should be the main focus. Off-topic discussions should be restricted to a small part of the forum. Look at Dave's ESL Cafe's forum for example. The type of members that you want to attract are the ones who actually go abroad or live abroad, not the ones who just want to come and use your forum to vent.

3. Kids playing in a sandbox call out to other boys with "I dare you" and "you're just afraid". That is not how an adult should think and act. If Taiwanese men operated based on fear and nervousness of uncertainty, then they wouldn't have imported 400,000+ foreign brides, and see couple million Taiwanese men migrate to China for work & girlfriends/concubines. There are somewhere between 1-2 million Taiwanese living in China today. In 2011, there were over 7 million cross-strait travel between Taiwan and China, and Taiwan only has 23 million people -- you being one of them. You think there's some Taiwanese vibe holding you back? If there is a such thing, then that vibe should be saying to you and the million plus Taiwanese men, "go West young man" -- West of Taiwan is China.

Look, even my fiance took the leap and went to China to get her MBA 5-6 years ago. She went "solo" with no job, no income (loan from parents) and didn't know anyone there. I'm quitting my job in 2 weeks and I've sent my resume to head hunters in LA/OC, Taiwan, Beijing, and Shanghai. If I get a really good offer for managerial contract in China, we're packing our bags. If not, then I'd just find a gig locally in California and continue planning our next trip to Italy. You don't like to work in a office for a living, that's perfectly fine, but all I see you do is stay home and criticize other people. It baffles me that you'd waste this much of your life worrying about what other people said or did, versus living your own life and planning for your own future. Highly illogical.

[OutWest]

The reason I didn't answer this thread is because I'm TRYING to curb my forum addiction and TRYING to be involved in LESS threads, not more. There's no other way to stop an addiction than to avoid unnecessary topics.
It's not because I don't have the money. I have nearly 20k USD saved up now. So why can't I just leave? Well because...
<snip>
No I haven't been to any massage parlors or brothels since Rock took me to one long ago during Spring. I have tried to, but my mind tries to make excuses not to. Maybe the fear and nervousness that dominates people in Taiwan has rubbed off on me? If so, then Taiwan is very toxic to me and turns me into something that I don't want to be.

1. None of the excuses given really prevents you from buying a plane (or boat) ticket to China. If you have time management issues, order a Franklin Covey Day Planner and learn how to use it:
http://franklinplanner.fcorgp.com/store/

2. There's too much crap on this forum. This forum is about traveling, working, and living abroad. That should be the main focus. Off-topic discussions should be restricted to a small part of the forum. Look at Dave's ESL Cafe's forum for example. The type of members that you want to attract are the ones who are actually visiting abroad or living abroad, not the ones who just want to come and use your forum to vent about something.

3. Kids playing in a sandbox call out to other boys with "I dare you" and "you're just afraid". That is not how an adult should think and act. If Taiwanese men operated based on fear and nervousness of uncertainty, then they wouldn't have imported 400,000+ foreign brides, and see couple million Taiwanese men migrate to China for work & girlfriends/concubines. There are somewhere between 1-2 million Taiwanese living in China today. In 2011, there were over 7 million cross-strait travel between Taiwan and China, and Taiwan only has 23 million people -- you being one of them.

Look, even my fiance took the leap and went to China to get her MBA 5-6 years ago. She went "solo" with no job, no income (loan from parents) and didn't know anyone there. I'm quitting my job in 2 weeks and I've sent my resume to head hunters in LA/OC, Taiwan, Beijing, and Shanghai. If I get a really good offer for managerial contract in China, we're packing our bags. If not, then I'd just find a gig locally in California and continue planning our next trip to Italy. You don't like to work in a office for a living, that's perfectly fine, but all I see you doing is stay home and criticize other people. It baffles me that you'd waste this much of your life worrying about what other people said or did, versus living your own life and planning for your own future. Highly illogical.

Very astute, +1


Outwest

[Jackal]

Hmm, Winston does really seem stuck in his habits, but I can sympathize with that. We each hit some low points in our lives at some point.

I have a few suggestions for Winston:
1) meditate daily to gain some control over your mind and become less attached to your negative emotions (I might post instructions for this later. I'm trying to think which type of meditation would be best for Winston...)

2) Maybe you should check out Chengdu, the capital of Sichuan Province, since you can speak Mandarin. The women were very beautiful when I was there, but I couldn't do much because I don't speak Chinese. The city is quite beautiful and exotic-feeling and the weather is warm and almost tropical. There is a Tibetan quarter of the city where there are Tibetan restaurants and shops. The whole city has a very pleasant atmosphere, so maybe you'd like to spend 2 weeks there. See some beautiful women. See some pandas. Eat some delicious Chinese and Tibetan food. Unwind...

3) Use your forum addiction to help you achieve goals. For example, you could do this by clearly stating a goal you want to achieve and your plan and then make a thread which is your progress log. You'll be more motivated to take action because you will have to publicly admit if you did. You will want to do the required action for that day so you can brag about it in your log. Perhaps this might work for you.

4) Forget about all this "energy vampire"/"mind-parasite" stuff! It will just end up making you paranoid. Splash some cold water on your face! Or better, jump into a pond or lake and go swimming. Drop down and pump out 15 push ups! Get moving and see if your feeling of mental lethargy goes away. Studies have shown that running causes rats to build new brain cells, so get out running and build some new brain cells of your own!

[Winston]

Then the challenger could win by picking the most unattractive women he can find. Come on now. That wouldn't prove anything. She at least has to be decent looking, otherwise it won't mean anything.
Easier said than done. Any guy can say "How about we go to my place?" and the girl will make an excuse. She knows what you mean. Most girls can't get any time off work either, and even when they can, they say they are not interested in a vacation (with me). Nothing in reality is that easy, unless you are a major pimp daddy here.
The 35 year old virgin lady I'm dating in Taiwan is not easy. When I suggested she stay at my place, her usual excuse would be "I don't sleep well in other people's houses" or "I have to get up to work tomorrow and am afraid I won't sleep well", etc. Women aren't that easy to manipulate or trick into bed. Come on now.
If only it was that easy, but it isn't unfortunately. Women are good at giving excuses anyway. Plus their innocent goody two shoes vibe and personality don't make me feel like pressuring them or manipulating them, it just doesn't feel right.
I don't know. Everything in Taiwan is so complicated, like everything is against me. So damn complicated. Read what my friend said in the thread about that Taiwan girl that asked for 30 million NT. She won't see him again because he flirted with her. See how complicated women are here? It's a total mess. Totally insane too. Sucks big time.

1. If the challenger wants to hit on an ugly 40 year old single mother just to win the bet, let him win and pay him NT 5,000 minus expenses, but make sure that he goes through with the date and never have anything to do with him afterwards. To clarify, you are to shun him and not write or talk about him ever again.

I really don't understand your point. Anyone can hit on ugly women and get somewhere. You can do that in the US too. What would that prove? The point is to prove that decent looking girls in Taiwan and easy to approach, pick up, flirt with, etc. like Rock claimed. That is the main challenge here.

Why should I shun a guy who dates ugly women just because he has bad taste? What would be the point? What would that prove? Why are you advocating something totally irrelevant to the purpose of the challenge?

2. If you're dating the girl and she is not interested in coming over to "cook dinner together" at your house, or to visit you at your hotel to "go for a swim", then perhaps you should say "next" and move on. Obviously you should not expect this on the first date, but if she still refuses after couple of months then it's time to move on. However, if the girl is a virgin, be warned that if you take her virginity there will probably be drama to follow.

Anyone can say that. But the point is, you can't just get intimacy by asking for it, as you made it out to be. Asking a girl to go to a vacation or hotel with you makes your intentions obvious. It's not that easy in conservative countries where women are spoiled and picky. No way. Women don't work that way, unless you are in a dating paradise like Philippines. Anyone with experience in dating can tell you this.

To get intimate with a woman, first you have to be her type. Then you have to put up with her "playing hard to get" which is natural of female character. Then you've got to appeal to her emotions, not logic. Learn what her hot buttons are and then push them at the appropriate times, like during romantic moments. When she says no, but her body language says yes, then you're making real progress.

This is how dating and romance works in reality. Simply asking her "Would you like to go to the beach this weekend?" or "Would you like to go up to the mountains and stay in the hot springs resort?" isn't going to accomplish anything.

Momopi, you should know better than to portray dating and intimacy as being that simple. Come on now. You are supposed to be smarter than that. If it were that easy, then everyone would do it and no guy would be lonely.

I'll tell you what. How about this: I give you, Momopi, the phone numbers of 3 women in Taiwan who have a positive relationship with me and enjoy my company. You call them and try to arrange a "private environment" with me by simply asking them to go away with me or something, like you suggested. If you can pull it off, I'll worship you as a miracle worker. If not, then you will get a lesson in how theory and reality do not match.

Anyone can throw around a lot of ideas and theories. Even a pot smoking hippie can. But in reality, only a small percentage of them will work. That's life.

Making money in a small business or online business is the same. Lots of theories, but only a few will work if you keep at it.

3. Look at a naruto (Japanese fish cake) in a bowl of ramen on the left. The patterns on the naruto is a pink swirl:



Indirect communications is leading the person around that pink swirl toward the center, without have to state the point in the middle. The swirl usually only goes in one direction, make sure you're looking at the naruto and not the tamago.

Ok I had to reread this several times to understand what you're talking about. I get your point. So I have to be subtle and indirect. Well that's not my style, so it would require me to change my personality. Is that possible? Can I be something that I'm not just to fit in with Taiwan style?

If I had the personality type that fit in to Taiwan, all you guys would find me real boring. The typical Westerner who fits in to Taiwan usually is boring, solemn and passive, like I mentioned in that other thread about white guys in Taiwan. Not very interesting at all. If I were like that, you guys would not like me. I would have a very boring personality and not attract any attention to this site. LOL

Yet here Momopi is trying to get me to be like one of those guys who fits into Taiwan. Isn't that ironic? LOL

4. If you're having trouble meeting single girls who are open to dating, you could try a dating club:
http://www.siplove.com.tw/

They have weekend outings with single guys and girls to tour Taiwan, and speed dating events in the cities. I just checked their web site and they have an event specifically for Taiwanese singles with international experience (study/work abroad):
http://www.siplove.com.tw/act/taipei556 ... ee_SE2.htm

Usually the speed dating events will match 30-60 single guys with 30-60 single girls. Ask your cousins in TW to help you sort through the web site and explain it to you. If you have questions, write them down then call them to ask, but keep the Q&A brief and short. The speed dating events are relatively cheap (NT 500-600) so do not expect any kind of money back guarantee.

5. No, speed dating events do not qualify for "cold approach" challenge.

Ok I will look at that site and try to sign up. Thanks.

At least in America, some girls will stop if you say "Excuse me miss?" whereas in Taiwan they just ignore you. If you come here, you'll see what I mean.
But you can even see this in the US in East Asian communities. You don't have to come to Taiwan to see what I mean.

Eh? I visit Taiwan almost every year and rarely have trouble getting girls at the MRT station to give me directions. Are you asking someone who is stationary, or trying to stop someone in a hurry during rush hour?

Both. Sure you can ask a girl for directions, but she will just point the way and turn her head away from you and lean away from you. Or she will just ignore you. In the best case scenario, she will smile and be very helpful. But not much beyond that. No flirting. But even if she gives you her facebook or phone number, she will just add you to her FB friends and never speak to you again.

So in every scenario, you lose. That's why trying to get dates or romance or exciting female company in Taiwan is more complicated and difficult than rocket science. That's real life. No amount of theories or ideas is going to solve this problem. It's all about chemistry. If you don't fit in, you don't fit in. Theories and formulas isn't going to fix that.

However, even if you have a Taiwanese style personality (repressed and passive in nature), and look tall and handsome by Taiwan standards, still, you are going to be limited to taking what you can get. You aren't going to have a lineup of women to choose from like at the Moonlight Bunny Ranch in Nevada. Or like at a bar in Angeles City. You are still only limited to a few choice that come your way by conventional means. You can't just go out and pick up a hot girl anywhere you go. No way.

What Rock says is total fiction. Either he was delusional, BSing everyone, or we misunderstood him in some way due to his vague communication skills.

[Winston]

Winston, you need a mental Enema! You need to purge your demons!

This Forum is very negative........betting people they can't succeed with women! This Forum should be uplifting!

I'll approach Asian women in the USA. No problem!

I do like to uplift people, just like any motivational guru does.

But when someone makes BS claims and gives false hope, such as Rock claiming that Taiwan girls are easy and open and approachable, which I know for a 10000000000000000000000000000000000000 percent certainty to be FALSE, I tell the truth about it.

False hope leads to disappointment after all. Deception is not a good thing.

No one has been able to answer this key question about Rock:

Given that:
1. Taiwan girls have a cold wall around them and do not like flirtation or male strangers. (esp if they are under 35)
2. 99.99 percent of guys do not have the guts to cold approach women.
3. Flirtation is seen as creepy, uncomfortable and a wrong thing to do in Taiwan

How the hell can Taiwan girls be open and approachable to everyone except me, as Rock insinuates?

How does everyone pick up Taiwan girls so easily, when to me, they are like rocket science, way too complicated to deal with?

Is Rock lying, delusional, a BSer, or have we misunderstood him due to his big talking vague communication style?

I think I should get more pity than Winston, he might Not be able to date hot taiwanese chicks but at least he's surrounded by them and not a bunch of fatties.

He also has it a lot more cushier than me living at home and being able to save up money that fast.

I think we all have a belly ache. I mean here in the states I'm surrounded by fat, ugly and mean girls. At least in Taiwan the girls might be mean but at least it's all eye candy.

No you guys, it's the other way around. Let me try to explain it to you with a simple analogy. If you were locked in prison and starving, would it be worse if I:

1. Put images of grotesque things on the walls, to decrease your appetite.
2. Put images of delicious food on the wall, to make you even hungrier.

Which would be worse and more cruel? Think about it.

So you see, if the temptation is all around you but you can't touch it or do anything about it without feeling like a criminal, isn't that worse than if you had no temptation at all?

So how do you have it worse?

being a 9 fire this year is good for moving as theres some stagnation but an equal need for change, 9 years ago must have been similar in 2003, good directions are west and east and north

I don't understand what you mean. Are you talking about something related to numerology? If so, why are you so vague about it?

[eurobrat]

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[Winston]

To Momopi:

You said earlier in this thread that Taiwan women are not prudish and that behind closed doors, they are sexual and intimate.

Well let me show you something below.

First, check out this letter from my expat friend in Taiwan, about how prudish and complicated this nice lady I introduced him to in Taiwan is. If this is not prudish, then what is?!?!?!?! LOLOLOL

Winston,

Why haven't you answered my e-mail yet?

By the way, I called Lien today and talked to her for 25 minutes. It's the longest time we have ever talked on the phone because like most Taiwanese women, it's very difficult to get her to talk on the phone for more than about 10 minutes.

I have been talking to Lien on the phone about once every other day (3 or 4 times a week) for the last month. We have become good friends, but some things that she told me today were shocking. For example, I asked her if I could hug her the next time that we see each other, which will be on September 5th. (I'll be in the States until the end of August.) She told me that we can only shake hands! I have been talking to her on the phone since June 4th, at least 3 times a week. (I make a detailed diary of when I contact each woman so that I can compare my notes, so I'm sure about this date.) So as of September 5th, it will be more than 3 months that we have been talking to each other 3 or 4 times a week, and yet she will still only allow me to shake her hand! No hugs, no kisses, and we can't even hold hands! Only handshakes! Isn't that incredible?!

Also, today I asked her if she would like to sleep with me, in my room in Miaoli County (just sleeping, certainly not hugging in bed or doing anything passionate, and in separate beds, not the same bed). She said "No way!" Then I asked her why. She said that it's because in her entire life, she has never slept with another person in the same bed before. Then I said "I don't mean in the same bed. Since you won't let me hug you, I already assumed that you wouldn't want to sleep in the same bed with me. I just mean in separate beds, but in the same room. In fact, I have two beds in my room, and each bed is a twin-size bed."

Then she said that in her entire life, she has never slept with another person in the same room except her mother, except during a field trip when she was in high school, when she slept in the bottom of a bunk bed, with another girl in the top bunk (above her).

I didn't ask her if she has ever had a boyfriend. She is 36 years old. (She was born in January 1976, so she is 2 months older than you.) Can you imagine a 36-year old woman who has never had a boyfriend? And she is pretty good-looking, so how could she have never had a boyfriend before? And yet, if she has had a boyfriend, she must have never slept in the same room with him, not even in a different bed in the same room!

Another shocking thing that she told me today was that she still sleeps in the same room as her mother, even though she is 36 years old! Isn't that incredible?! The barber shop is on the first floor of her house, the kitchen is also on the first floor (in the back), and on the second floor, Lien shares a bedroom with her mother. (Lien's older brother, her older brother's wife, and her older brother's kids live on the third floor.)

I know that it's common in Taiwan for unmarried women to still live with their parents, even when they are in their 30's, but it is NOT common for a woman who is in her 30's to sleep in the same room as her parents! (Lien's parents are divorced, so she only lives with her mother, not her father.)

Second, here is what the Taiwanese girl I'm paying to translate my articles into Chinese told me about why she doesn't like to meet guys alone. She is only 20, and very bright, but this reflects a FUNDAMENTAL attitude in Taiwanese girls, who prefer the company of females over males.

in fact, I don't like to go out with men alone,except my boyfriend.
it's hard to distinguish boundaries,
some men think the girl who want to go out with them, that's because the girl likes him.

See what I mean? There you have it, out of the words of a real Taiwan girl herself. Notice that her attitude expressed above is not much different than how American girls think.

So, any guy can SAY that Taiwanese girls are easy. But reality is another matter. Based on what Taiwanese girls say themselves, it's obvious that they are not easy at all.

So how are Taiwan girls easy? How are Taiwan girls open and easy to everyone except me? It doesn't make any sense.

Again, as usual regarding Taiwan, reality doesn't match what guys claim.

[eurobrat]

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[xiongmao]

Man, he's wasting his time with this girl.

[Winston]

Man, he's wasting his time with this girl.

Maybe, but I know her and can say that she definitely has a heart of gold and is very innocent, like a female from centuries ago. Totally uncorrupted and unspoiled. It's like she doesn't even live in the modern world. Maybe she's oversheltered, but she has a refreshing innocence that's hard to find in the modern world.

To Momopi:

You asked me if the girls I say "Excuse me" to are stationary or walking. Well let's take the girls that are walking. I assume you are saying that girls who are walking shouldn't be expected to stop when you call them. Well tell me this then: HOW COME many girls in Europe and Russia and even in America, WILL STOP when I say "Excuse me miss?" Why do girls in other countries stop when I say that but not in Taiwan? How do you explain that logically?

I think I know the answer, but I'm just curious if you are willing to say it out loud or not. lol

To Eurobrat:

Did you read the quote above? One of the friendliest girls I know in Taiwan told me this:

"in fact, I don't like to go out with men alone,except my boyfriend.
it's hard to distinguish boundaries,
some men think the girl who want to go out with them, that's because the girl likes him."

Now, if one of the friendliest girls I know in Taiwan says that, then what does it say about the attitude of Taiwan girls in general? Does it support Rock's bizarre claims that Taiwan girls are open, approachable and easy, for every guy except me? LOL

Does it? Yes or no? LOL