Getting married vs not getting married

[Johnny1975]

I never want to get married. But I want the type of girl that would make a good wife. I'd like to live with such a woman and have kids with her but not actually get married.

My question is, is it realistic to expect to be able to persuade such a woman to stick with me and do all the married stuff but not actually get married?

[Renata]

no

[Teal Lantern]

I never want to get married. But I want the type of girl that would make a good wife. I'd like to live with such a woman and have kids with her but not actually get married.

My question is, is it realistic to expect to be able to persuade such a woman to stick with me and do all the married stuff but not actually get married?

It's doable, just not easy.
Thing is, in the beginning she'll tell you she's not marriage minded (or whatever else you want to hear), then years later start whining about it, especially after there are kids.
That's how they operate.

This is an old article, but there are two take away points.
1) The number of cohabiting couples is growing.
2) Laws in effect today can change in a way you don't like.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2002/ju ... .claredyer

[Johnny1975]

I'd be very upfront about it. I'd make it clear that there's no changing my mind. It's not a matter of will I be persuaded or nagged into it (because I wouldn't), it's a matter of will she realise that I won't be persuaded and that she's wasting her time with me if she thinks otherwise. The sooner she knows the sooner she can decide what to do (stay or leave).

[terminator]

I never want to get married. But I want the type of girl that would make a good wife. I'd like to live with such a woman and have kids with her but not actually get married.

My question is, is it realistic to expect to be able to persuade such a woman to stick with me and do all the married stuff but not actually get married?

Realistically, you have zero chance of finding a "good" woman in the USA, unless you are a Morman, etc. You will need to live overseas and marry to get a visa to live in her country.

[RobinHood]

I never want to get married. But I want the type of girl that would make a good wife. I'd like to live with such a woman and have kids with her but not actually get married.

My question is, is it realistic to expect to be able to persuade such a woman to stick with me and do all the married stuff but not actually get married?

Yeah, it's possible to find a woman to live with you who will not want marriage, but remember if you have kids and she leaves you you will be responsible for child support - similar to marriage if kids are involved.

[noog]

I never want to get married. But I want the type of girl that would make a good wife. I'd like to live with such a woman and have kids with her but not actually get married.

My question is, is it realistic to expect to be able to persuade such a woman to stick with me and do all the married stuff but not actually get married?

Be careful with this approach of having kids out of wedlock and sharing assets for many years.

A relative of mine had to hire a divorce lawyer and is going through a brutal divorce right now. Two young boys under the age 5 and her ex has gone whacko and makes up all sorts of BS, gets the cops to get a restraining order on him, keep the kids away from him, etc. But you know what's interesting? They never got married! That's right, it's a common-law marriage and therefore a defacto divorce.

My two cents, at least if you're staying in the US, if she's the one for you and you're gonna get that serious and have kids, then get married. At the end of the day, if it doesn't work out as a common-law couple, you could have a bigger uphill battle staying in your kids' life in this feminist mother-takes-all country.

[Tsar]

Realistically, you have zero chance of finding a "good" woman in the USA, unless you are a Morman, etc. You will need to live overseas and marry to get a visa to live in her country.

That is exactly what I have been saying for the past year after I did a lot of reading on the subject.

Mormons are basically the only group in America that has a better chance of finding a "good" woman in America, mostly because Mormons are committed to practicing their religion and following it's moral code. Most other Christians in America don't follow the moral code, especially as teenagers, most reject all such moral codes and accept Feminism and hedonism as their new religion. A very small minority of other Christians (Catholics and Protestants) in America actually follow the moral code and are "good" women.

[Ghost]

...

[Contrarian Expatriate]

I never want to get married. But I want the type of girl that would make a good wife. I'd like to live with such a woman and have kids with her but not actually get married.

My question is, is it realistic to expect to be able to persuade such a woman to stick with me and do all the married stuff but not actually get married?

I agree with your plan. The most feasible solution is to expat to a country that is poor and offer the girl of your choice a better life as a cohabiting couple.

This might not go over well with her family, but it can be done if they see her happy and better off than without you.

[Johnny1975]

Two things :

1) I live in the UK. I wish everyone would stop assuming that everyone here is in the US. There are other countries you know.

2) What are the technicalities of a common law marriage? What are the differences between an actual marriage and a common law one? Links?

3) If a girl is decent enough, and knows what's good for her, even if she wants to get married, I'm sure she wouldn't leave a guy just because he didn't. Am I being naive?

[Teal Lantern]

Two things :

1) I live in the UK. I wish everyone would stop assuming that everyone here is in the US. There are other countries you know.

2) What are the technicalities of a common law marriage? What are the differences between an actual marriage and a common law one? Links?

3) If a girl is decent enough, and knows what's good for her, even if she wants to get married, I'm sure she wouldn't leave a guy just because he didn't. Am I being naive?

The article I posted is from the UK. It states there currently is no binding "common law marriage" in the U.K.
see also http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common-law ... _and_Wales

[Contrarian Expatriate]

Two things :
1) I live in the UK. I wish everyone would stop assuming that everyone here is in the US. There are other countries you know.

You should indicate your location in your profile like some others do if that is important to you. Most posters here are in the USA because we arguably have the worst women in the world.

2) What are the technicalities of a common law marriage? What are the differences between an actual marriage and a common law one? Links?

In the US a couple must "hold themselves out to the community as married" for the statutory period such as 5 years. Bottom line is never permit her to call you married on tax forms, on applications, or among friends, EVER.

3) If a girl is decent enough, and knows what's good for her, even if she wants to get married, I'm sure she wouldn't leave a guy just because he didn't. Am I being naive?

Again, if she is poor, she will abide, but if she is affluent and great-looking, she can drop you in a hot minute as a strategy to force your hand.

[colibri]

Nope.

Sooo you want a decent girl (wife material) but as an eternal gf that can do all the wife role and eventually will raise your kids? ,


And if shes wife material why would she choose you over a good man who wants to marry her ?

this is sad not even good girls can expect marry these days

[ChosenTraveler]

Nope.

Sooo you want a decent girl (wife material) but as an eternal gf that can do all the wife role and eventually will raise your kids? ,


And if shes wife material why would she choose you over a good man who want to marry her ?

this is sad not even good girls can expect marry these days

What you have to understand about the modern American male is that he's had to readjust his mind to fit present relationship conditions, and yes, that means, accepting the belief that marriage, in its present form, inhibits a man financially as well as a physically.

A man simply can't risk being legally bound to a woman in this, or any society. Biologically, men were long bred to be the protectors, lovers and providers for women.

Now, thanks to feminism, women have rejected their biology for more masculine forms of fulfillment(i.e., getting high paying jobs,bragging about independence,playing sports,etc.), and now men have been forced to compete with the very creature that they were bred to protect.

The advent of this social experiment by the elite has caused women to become vengeful,vindictive and toxic to their families, and the men that they are supposed to create families with. This is why men should reject governmental forms of marriage,no matter how "good" the woman is.