Are most people social butterflies? Why does everyone say that, including aspies and introverts?

[Winston]

Hi everyone,
I just noticed something odd and baffling that I wanna bring up, because I can't figure it out logically. Why does everyone presume that most people are extroverts and therefore social butterflies and have a good social life? Even introverts and aspies presume that. They all presume it in their videos, and blame themselves for their "social impairment" as they say. It's as if they assume most people are open, friendly, and social and that it's easy to meet people and be social, as long as you don't have any psychological disabilities. WTF? So real life is just like movies and TV shows, everyone is social and open, unless you have a problem connecting with others. WTF? Why does everyone presume that? Does that mean we are wrong or missing something? Doesn't logic say that if everyone says one thing, including misfits and autistic people, and we say another, that that means we are wrong or crazy? How do you explain that? Do any of you wonder about this too?

For example, when you go on YouTube and watch videos by those with Aspergers talking about their condition, they all seem to assume that most people are extroverts and therefore social butterflies. They all blame themselves and say that their social impairment is what prevents them from going out and being social and meeting people and making friends. As if one can just go out and be social and make friends easily in America. They presume that if they didn't have Aspergers, then they would have no trouble making friends and being social. So unlike us, they all blame themselves, not lack of social connection in America.

So in that sense, they are even more normal than us, because they follow the norm of blaming yourself, not the social environment like we do. Does that mean that even aspies are more normal than us? Why does everyone assume that most people are social? Why are we the only ones that say that Americans are closed and don't talk to strangers and aren't open to meeting new people? If even aspies do not say that and assume that if only they didn't have autism, they could be normal and social butterflies too, then they are blaming themselves, technically speaking. That's the norm I guess. Everyone follows it but us. Only we blame the social culture. Why is that? Does that mean even aspies are more normal than us? If so that's very sad isn't it? Why are we so different from everyone, including aspies?

See here to see what I mean:
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=aspergers

What do you think? Do all these aspies really think Americans are open and social and that if only they didn't have Aspergers, that they could go out and be social and have a good social life, just like you see in the movies? Why does everyone say that? If everyone says that but us, does that mean maybe we are wrong and crazy? Does that mean we are losers and freaks or crazy? What do you all think? How do you all explain that?

Same goes for videos about introverts and extroverts. All the introverts on YouTube say that their introversion is what impairs their social life. They also presume that most people are extroverts and therefore social butterflies too. What does "social butterfly" mean anyway? lol. That one loves being social? With everyone or just people they know? So again, even introverts blame themselves. Why does everyone do that but us?

See here to see what I mean:
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_ ... extroverts

It seems that no one says that people in any given country are closed or unsocial or stuck up or unfriendly. Not even aspies and introverts. It seems everyone assumes that most people are social and extroverted. If anyone has problems meeting people or making friends, they will always say one of the following:

1. I work too much and don't have time to meet people.
2. I am painfully shy or have social anxiety, so I can't go out and be social and meet people.
3. I have Asperbergers which socially impairs me so I can't go out and be social like most people.
4. I am very introverted and don't like superficial small talk, so I avoid most people and keep to myself.

Everyone who doesn't have a decent social life says one of the above, except us. But no one says what we say or talks about social disconnection or how people don't talk to strangers but keep their distance from others and ignore others, etc. Only we say that. Why? Are we that big of a loser? Are even aspies and introverts more normal than us? How do you explain this?

You know, these kind of mysteries that defy explanation sometimes make me wonder if I'm in some kind of a dream or Twilight Zone, and that's how stuff like this can happen which defy logic and are seemingly impossible to explain. I mean if you were in a world where everyone said 2+2=5 and you were the only one that said 2+2=4, you'd think that you were in some kind of dream too, or Twilight Zone, where no one is real except you. Or if everyone is in on a cosmic joke or conspiracy against you, to make you think you are crazy, like a Kafkaeque psychological horror movie. You just gotta wonder. Because these type of things can't be explained by anything logical. Especially when what everyone thinks and what you see are totally different and you are sure you are right. But how can everyone be wrong and you be right? Or how can you be wrong and everyone right, if you know what you see everyday? It boggles the mind. Any of you ever feel this way too?

[Gali]

The solution is just to give the Amygdala a pause and get through the filter the rest comes automatically.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_fallacies

[Winston]

Why does this Euro guy claim that in Asia, everyone wants to hang out with him and no one will leave him alone, as if everyone is open and social and wants to make friends with others? Is he living in a different universe or dimension? How can this be when people are cold and closed and don't talk to strangers unless it's business related? I don't get it. Am I cursed by the gods or does the oversoul (collective consciousness) of people dislike me or am I not connected to the oversoul that everyone else is so I'm not part of their species? How else can you explain this? Am I missing something? What do normal people have or see that I don't have or see? Nothing makes any sense in this world. Am I in a dream or simulation that's trying to f**k with my mind? Is this a cosmic joke?

The Dilemma of Loneliness

Solitude has its dark sides. But so has socializing.

[Winston]

Why does everyone say that its easy to make friends as long as u are not shy and antisocial? As if everyone is social and wants to hang out and be your friend and want to invite u to go out? How can that be when in real life people are closed and cliquish and not open to even saying hi to strangers and look like they wanna be left alone? Am i missing something here? What do normal people see that I don't see? An example is the video above.

[Gali]

Why does everyone say that its easy to make friends as long as u are not shy and antisocial? As if everyone is social and wants to hang out and be your friend and want to invite u to go out? How can that be when in real life people are closed and cliquish and not open to even saying hi to strangers and look like they wanna be left alone? Am i missing something here? What do normal people see that I don't see? An example is the video above.

It is partly social skills. If you can act like normal people it might work.

[Spencer]

Why does everyone say that its easy to make friends as long as u are not shy and antisocial? As if everyone is social and wants to hang out and be your friend and want to invite u to go out? How can that be when in real life people are closed and cliquish and not open to even saying hi to strangers and look like they wanna be left alone? Am i missing something here? What do normal people see that I don't see? An example is the video above.

Read on autist and assburger and see those disorder man lifing on difrence chanel freqency so for perceptions get all distort = your realty not same to other people realty for asp man not well understand the face or body langues and know people instinct same to dog and may think person to be weird or off but not kno why cus it come from his instinct sense

[Outcast9428]

The environment has objectively become far less conducive to socializing. Aspies and autists struggle with socializing in the modern world because socializing has become a lot more difficult so you need more social skills to have a good social life now.

The traditional world emphasized love, connections, family, friends, and community above everything else. People had strong enough community ties that people with low social skills could still get along with most people as long as they seemed like decent people because people grew up accustomed to that person's eccentricities. Lots of times, people go through periods where somebody's weird behaviors are considered annoying but over time, they come to be seen as charming instead. People typically passed over the "this person is weird" phase in childhood and once adulthood came, people matured and appreciated the unique personalities of people with more aspergers/autistic personalities.

Nowadays we live in a world that emphasizes independence, autonomy, materialism, personal fulfillment, and non-social values. There's more emphasis on the idea that people can find happiness without forming connections with other people. There's also much more of a belief that trying too hard to form connections with others, or being pushy about forming relationships, is rude or offensive. In the past, not answering somebody's phone call would be seen as rude. In the modern world, being bothered by somebody not answering your call is seen as rude. In the past, not being willing to love somebody was seen as weird or rude. In the modern world, trying too hard to love somebody is what's seen as weird or rude.

So we're now placed in an awkward spot where we are trying to form connections but have to walk a fine balance between trying just hard enough, but not too hard to form relationships with people. People with good social skills intuitively know where the line is. Aspies and autists don't. Aspies and autists can get along well with each other though because they are not nearly as bothered by other people trying too hard to form connections with them. If you go up to an aspie and say "hey wanna be friends?" Most aspies don't mind such an approach. Normal people do though, because its seen as trying too hard and they will see such an approach as a sign of weakness because they believe someone would only do that if they didn't have any friends themselves.

Which is linked to another problem with modern socialization. Too much value placed on whether somebody already has friends, or in romance, already has romantic experience. Having friends or romantic experience is automatically assumed to mean the person has good character. This is an extremely flawed way of thinking. A person doesn't have bad character because they don't have many friends. They may very well not have many friends because they want social connections too badly for the average modern person, and that pushes most people away.

[jamesbond]

Why does everyone say that its easy to make friends as long as u are not shy and antisocial? As if everyone is social and wants to hang out and be your friend and want to invite u to go out? How can that be when in real life people are closed and cliquish and not open to even saying hi to strangers and look like they wanna be left alone? Am i missing something here? What do normal people see that I don't see? An example is the video above.

It's the culture in America that encourages people to be independent and separate from others. People in the US tend to be very cliquish and not open to meeting new people. It has nothing to do with being "social" and not "shy" Americans just don't like meeting new people and prefer to just stick with the friends they already do have.