Did anyone here expatriate and become substantially happier?

[ramiroflores]

Always curious to hear these experiences. I often remember phrases like “the grass is always greener” and “wherever you go, there you are” and agree, but wonder of they’re too pessimistic.

[Winston]

Yes many of us have found a happier life abroad. However, there are complications:

1. First, not everyone can stay abroad because not everyone here has a passive income or pension or big savings. So the happiness is temporary and we have to return home eventually.

2. Second, even if you live abroad long term, once the euphoria and novelty wear off, you start to see the dark side of the country and the negative aspects start to chip away at you. Every place has its pros and cons and after the honeymoon period you begin to see the negatives of the country. How you handle that is personal and differs from person to person.

3. Any place, even a nice place, can become a rut after a while. Life eventually becomes a settled routine. If you are a stable person who likes to settle down, this might be fine. But if you are an adventurous person who lives for new experiences and novelty, you will feel trapped after a while and in a rut. So again, it's personal and dependent on the person and location and their issues.

But regardless, yes if you go abroad to other countries, you can have a muich better dating life and social life and human connection and fun and romance and flirtation. Because many other countries, such as Mexico and the Philippines, offers those things. But in America, they only offer working/making money and shopping, and nothing else, which doesn't appeal to us.

However, just because you get what you want in other countries doesn't mean you will be happier for life. Many here have psychological issues too, so it's complicated. And of course, Buddhism says that getting what you want doesn't always lead to long term happiness. The goal of life isn't necessarily to be happy though, but to seek a meaningful life. There will always be ups and downs, because life moves in cycles, so you cannot expect to always be happy, even if you have everything you want.

Hope that all makes sense.

[yick]

Yes but I have changed since leaving the UK. So much so that I am a completely different person. I spent five years in a no-name city in the middle of China that was so serene and peaceful and I had a stress free life that it completely healed me.

[Shemp]

Yes, but I am retired with passive income and always living like a tourist and that is much, much easier from expat who has to earn a living in their new country. For people from high cost countries like USA, it makes great sense to live in cheaper country once retired. I have a good passive income even by USA standards, but in poor countries, I'm in the stratosphere of wealth and income, which adds to happiness. Plus many countries have better lifestyle than USA, especially for tourists who don't have to deal with local bureaucracy.

[yick]

Yes, but I am retired with passive income and always living like a tourist and that is much, much easier from expat who has to earn a living in their new country. For people from high cost countries like USA, it makes great sense to live in cheaper country once retired. I have a good passive income even by USA standards, but in poor countries, I'm in the stratosphere of wealth and income, which adds to happiness. Plus many countries have better lifestyle than USA, especially for tourists who don't have to deal with local bureaucracy.

Where are you now, Frank? Are you still in Spain? I had a friend who lived in Montenegro and he loved it there! Have you ever tried it out there?

You're right about the upgrade, especially if you are working class in your home country like I was - the lifestyle upgrade that comes with a class upgrade offsets any negatives if it is not a 'first world' country.

[Yohan]

Always curious to hear these experiences. I often remember phrases like “the grass is always greener” and “wherever you go, there you are” and agree, but wonder of they’re too pessimistic.

I am from Europe and left for Asia - after a first try to leave, I had to come back but moved when I was 25 to Japan.
I am holding since almost 4 decades permanent residence status in Japan, but still have EU-citizenship.

I moved when I was still young, around 22 years old, to Malaysia and was living among Chinese people, but I was still not really experienced and this girl and other family members were too arrogant, demanding, rich and tried to push me around and I left, back again to Europe.
If I accepted that life style with them I could be really very rich now, but they were not the right people for me.
-----
3 years later I moved on from Europe to Japan and I never returned, I am now 72, about same age as my Japanese wife, married since 47 years, never divored, have children and grandchildren, we also visiting Thailand frequently for vacation and have our own second home there.
I am also frequently in Philippines, as I took care of a Filipina fosterdaughter.

Now retired, life is very good for me, much better than it could be in Europe. Good retirement allowance, nice home outside of the big cities in Japan, 2 cars, motorcycle, second home in Thailand, good medical care up to end of life, still healthy... perfect life...

I will never go back to Europe.

To answer your question, yes, you can be happier abroad - under certain circumstances. But everybody must decide that for himself, also be prepared that something could go wrong, you should always have an escape route - something can happen to you, like visa problems, wars, illness, family issues..

You also have to consider, that in most cases you will not use your own native language anymore, will face people with different moral values, different religious opinions etc.

You have to live with that and do not do the mistake what many American men and women try to do when travelling abroad - to teach locals that everything is worse than in your own country - like feminism/women rights, children rights, animal rights, and don't move around with the Bible etc. and tell people that Buddhism is a bad religion and only Jesus will save you....

You have to try to fit into a new society - and consider you might be consider by locals to be a foreigner for the rest of your life. Be patient.
In my case there is no way to mistaken me for a Japanese or otherwise Asian person. I am a white man from Europe...no way around that...

[Yohan]

Yes many of us have found a happier life abroad. However, there are complications:

1. First, not everyone can stay abroad because not everyone here has a passive income or pension or big savings. So the happiness is temporary and we have to return home eventually.

2. Second, even if you live abroad long term, once the euphoria and novelty wear off, you start to see the dark side of the country and the negative aspects start to chip away at you. Every place has its pros and cons and after the honeymoon period you begin to see the negatives of the country. How you handle that is personal and differs from person to person.

3. Any place, even a nice place, can become a rut after a while. Life eventually becomes a settled routine. If you are a stable person who likes to settle down, this might be fine. But if you are an adventurous person who lives for new experiences and novelty, you will feel trapped after a while and in a rut. So again, it's personal and dependent on the person and location and their issues.

But regardless, yes if you go abroad to other countries, you can have a muich better dating life and social life and human connection and fun and romance and flirtation. Because many other countries, such as Mexico and the Philippines, offers those things. But in America, they only offer working/making money and shopping, and nothing else, which doesn't appeal to us.

However, just because you get what you want in other countries doesn't mean you will be happier for life. Many here have psychological issues too, so it's complicated. And of course, Buddhism says that getting what you want doesn't always lead to long term happiness. The goal of life isn't necessarily to be happy though, but to seek a meaningful life. There will always be ups and downs, because life moves in cycles, so you cannot expect to always be happy, even if you have everything you want.

Hope that all makes sense.

Yes, all what you write here, Winston, makes a lot of sense.

point 1. The financial situation is a very serious point. In many countries here in Asia it seems to be so cheap but you as a foreigner cannot live in such a cheap way - you will face various expenses which are not a problem for locals, like visa issues, working permits, private health insurance, housing, food...

and

finally Winston, you mention also psychologial issues, here in Japan for example you will have to accept that you look differently, this is not USA, people are very homogeneous in many Asian countries - you will always be considered as a foreigner.

There are language issues, do not underestimate them (especially if you need a job for a living) - many Asian languages are quite complicated.

Up to you!

For some people who tried it worked out and they did not go back to their own native country - but I know also many people who left after a while, for various reasons....

[Shemp]

Where are you now, Frank? Are you still in Spain? I had a friend who lived in Montenegro and he loved it there! Have you ever tried it out there?

Not Montenegro but I spent last summer right next door in Serbia and I'll be back in Serbia next week for this summer. I can only spend 90 days at a time in Schengen. I'm still hoping to retire to Kyiv but Serbia is my back up option if Ukraine gets completely ruined.

[publicduende]

I think @Winston made a concise yet precise analysis of the pros and cons of living abroad. A location has lower cost of living almost always because, in the end, you get what you pay for.

Those poverty porn videos many Philippines vloggers love to produce, where they wax lyrical about how much they manage to eat with only 100 pesos (less than $2), as not only misleading but also deeply hypocritical: with the money they get, or hope to get, from YT, you can rest assured that they will be avoiding those very place they endorse like the fkin plague. Same for cheap clothing shops, cheap hotels, etc.

I think the best quality of life bang for the buck I have experienced so far in Asia is in Thailand. Street stalls and cheap restaurants still serve delicious food at the same price as the crap they serve here in Manila. The pains in Bangkok comes when you want to get more quality: you can get as much luxury and high-end as you want, but you need to prepared to pay Singapore or Hong Kong prices.

[Jonny Law]

I Lived in Thailand for 2 years.

1. The cost of living was a lot less expensive!
2. The women are easier. The women are also prostitutes or might as well be because they think like one (even the virgins). Be prepared to be asked to pay a bride price (I just was prepared by giving them my middle finger)!

[MrMan]

I Lived in Thailand for 2 years.

1. The cost of living was a lot less expensive!
2. The women are easier. The women are also prostitutes or might as well be because they think like one (even the virgins). Be prepared to be asked to pay a bride price (I just was prepared by giving them my middle finger)!

Bride prices aren't prostitution. They are a civilized way of getting a bride, an aspect of refinement our culture lacks.

This should be a bride price for a --virgin__ though, not a second-hand woman. And she shouldn't be able to initiate divorce if the man paid the bride price.

[rudder]

Yes many of us have found a happier life abroad. However, there are complications:

1. First, not everyone can stay abroad because not everyone here has a passive income or pension or big savings. So the happiness is temporary and we have to return home eventually.

2. Second, even if you live abroad long term, once the euphoria and novelty wear off, you start to see the dark side of the country and the negative aspects start to chip away at you. Every place has its pros and cons and after the honeymoon period you begin to see the negatives of the country. How you handle that is personal and differs from person to person.

3. Any place, even a nice place, can become a rut after a while. Life eventually becomes a settled routine. If you are a stable person who likes to settle down, this might be fine. But if you are an adventurous person who lives for new experiences and novelty, you will feel trapped after a while and in a rut. So again, it's personal and dependent on the person and location and their issues.

But regardless, yes if you go abroad to other countries, you can have a muich better dating life and social life and human connection and fun and romance and flirtation. Because many other countries, such as Mexico and the Philippines, offers those things. But in America, they only offer working/making money and shopping, and nothing else, which doesn't appeal to us.

However, just because you get what you want in other countries doesn't mean you will be happier for life. Many here have psychological issues too, so it's complicated. And of course, Buddhism says that getting what you want doesn't always lead to long term happiness. The goal of life isn't necessarily to be happy though, but to seek a meaningful life. There will always be ups and downs, because life moves in cycles, so you cannot expect to always be happy, even if you have everything you want.

Hope that all makes sense.

This might be your best post ever. Great wisdom here. Spot on!

[rudder]

Always curious to hear these experiences. I often remember phrases like “the grass is always greener” and “wherever you go, there you are” and agree, but wonder of they’re too pessimistic.

I am holding since almost 4 decades permanent residence status in Japan, but still have EU-citizenship.

What's keeping you from becoming a Japanese citizen? That's a long long time to live somewhere and not be a citizen.

[publicduende]

I Lived in Thailand for 2 years.

1. The cost of living was a lot less expensive!
2. The women are easier. The women are also prostitutes or might as well be because they think like one (even the virgins). Be prepared to be asked to pay a bride price (I just was prepared by giving them my middle finger)!

The women are easier because a lot of them are outright pros or semi-pros, used to going with foreign tourists. The kind of "proper" local woman, young, pretty, never married (no kids) and with a decent education or job, will shun foreigners far more than the Filipino counterpart. That I can assure you.

If sex is the only endgame and spending $200 for NSA sex, instead fo $50 like in the Philippines, is possible, than Thailand does provide a lot more fun. If one is looking for sex while casually dating, with the chance that, once the roulette wheel is spun often enough, an unexpected gem of a girl comes up, then the Philippines are a lot better.