The shaming of male sexuality in America

[GoingAwol]

If there's one thing about the U.S that makes me really angry, it's this. Male sexuality is demonized and all but criminalized (and sometimes is) here. One of the biggest things I see is older men being shamed for being attracted to younger women. They are called creepy,sleazy, entitled etc. Which is stupid because all men are attracted to younger women no matter their age! Even 80 year old men will smile and wink when they see a hot 18 year old or 20 something girl. Why? Because its a natural evolutionary thing! Young women are more fertile and can bear healthy children. The older a woman gets the less likely it is that she will be able to bear healthy children or any children at all. Plus... Let's face it! Younger women are just more attractive! So you can't fault men for being captivated by their beauty. Something so natural could only be shamed in a f***ed up culture like America.

[Ghost]

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[GoingAwol]

To understand dating in America you have to understand this.....
A woman has to give you permission to be attracted to her and flirt with her or you are a creep for doing it. Now, this might make sense if women were the ones that had to take initiative and flirt and ask men out but it doesn't work that way. As much as American women talk about equality and getting rid of gender roles they still cling to the passive role in courtship rituals just like anywhere else in the world. Which is to say they expect men to approach them and flirt with them, but only the men they find attractive. The fundamental problem with this is men are not mind readers. We can only figure out which women we find attractive, approach them,and hope the interest is mutual. So what you have is a culture where men are supposed to take initiative with women but get punished for doing it. Yeah.... That's a perfectly logical system and won't lead to any problems.

[droid]

That's priceless GoingAwol

still cling to the passive role

"Passive" = "zero-investment, zero-risk, plausible-deniability"

[romparoo]

GoingAwol,

You missed a key point. Although you are right saying that women still expect men to approach, I will add that women who are interested in a man will no doubt give him the right signals so the man can approach. In fact, on some occasions I find women to be fairly straightforward and strike up a conversation when she approves a man. By the way, she could have been married and still approve a man who is not her husband. The bigger problem is the unnaturally high standard set by younger women which puts most men into the trash bin, so many men end up confused whether he should 'manned up' to approach or contemplating whether it is a confidence issue. In reality it is neither. It's just the woman is not interested.

[romparoo]

"Passive" = "zero-investment, zero-risk, plausible-deniability"

Lol. You made relationship too damn complicated. It is not supposed to be tactical. It is supposed to be natural.
No one needs to try hard. If one has to try hard, then it is quite likely the dating scene is abnormal, instead of the person.
The average man shouldn't endure a 90% - 100% inattention rate (meaning almost no women give you any signal to approach her). That is just abnormal, and it is an issue of culture degeneration.

[GoingAwol]

Romparoo,
I disagree. It's impossible to know if women are really interested unless you ask them out. You have to remember that women in the U.S can be attention whores and will flirt with men even though they have zero interest in them and have the audacity to get mad at the man when he takes it seriously and acts on those signals. Women will toss and play with their hair,smile at you,bat their eyelashes, giggle, act friendly and interested in you and it doesn't mean anything. But they will turn cold and look at you like you are a monster if you ask them out. I have seen this time and time again. As much as people deny it women do not put out clear signs that they are interested anymore. This is because they use those same signals to toy with men's emotions and to get an ego boost from said men. This is the main reason why lots of men are unsure about approaching women and "lack confidence". Would men lack confidence if we lived in a sane culture where the majority of women weren't sociopaths that like toying with men's emotions? I dont think so. I have gotten these "signals" a lot and they are almost always false alarms. But men are still being blamed and held accountable for this bullshit. The deck is so stacked against men in the dating scene that it isn't funny.