Is it necessary to 'sow your wild oats' before marriage?

[fightforlove]

The term "sow your wild oats" came from the middle-age era in Europe, comparing pre-marital affairs to wastefully planting oats in the wild rather than on a fenced-in, well-plowed farm field. It is said that most young men do most of their hay rolling after their first serious relationship and before their second.

My question is: is it necessary to go out and engage in casual dating/sex with at least a few women before a man settles down with an LTR/wife? Some claim it is a right-of-passage to develop a mature libido that will genuinely crave and value a monogamous relationship. Others claim sowing your oats is destructive, deters a man from being capable of monogamy and will come back to haunt him later in life if/when he is monogamous with one woman (i.e. mid-life crisis?). Thoughts?

[noog]

I would not assert that it's necessary. Sowing your wild oats can liberate you, but only for a brief period of time. I think it's somewhat natural, because you are craving affection badly but fear getting in a relationship again too soon. But eventually, from my experience, you'll get tired of the selfishness and crave the security of a healthy relationship again.

And sowing your wild oats is far from a male phenomenon either. I can think of at least three ladies I had met who were separated/divorced after a long marriage and in varying degrees/method were sowing their wild oats. It's also common to sow oats in bigger cities where you are less likely to get a bad reputation for playing fast and loose.

[All_That_Is_Man]

I think it is necessary. It's very important for a man not to get stuck in a marriage with a whorebag who has had more sexual partners than him.

[noog]

I think it is necessary. It's very important for a man not to get stuck in a marriage with a whorebag who has had more sexual partners than him.

Perhaps. I think the mindset and recent history of the woman is probably more telling about a marriage partner. My ex-wife was a virgin and obviously things didn't turn out so well.

[polya]

Yes, it's necessary to fornicate, as practice makes perfect. Have a comparison for your wife - so you'll know if she's frigid. Also, commit adultery after marriage for good measure - you'll be fine when the wife says "No."

[royaldude]

if i was going to marry and i wouldnt i would feel resentful of my wife if i had not gone out and f***ed a ton of women before her. keep in mind once youve had a lot of different women you realize that p***y shouldnt be put on a pedestal. and after you realize that its harder if not impossible to settle for one bitch for life as you realize p***y is a dime a dozen.

[jamesbond]

I think it is necessary. It's very important for a man not to get stuck in a marriage with a whorebag who has had more sexual partners than him.

Yes, now days, quite a few women in america have had more sex partners than men do! I think a guy should exchange bodily fluids with as many women as he can before he get's married and settles down with one woman.

[Jester]

Good comments here. I would say that if you are interested in women over age 23 in the Anglosphere, i.e. girls certain to be non-virgins, then you do owe it both to ourself and to your future bride to sleep around. Your future bride will want to know that you have done all the exploring you need to do.

If you were a believing churchgoing boy, and a sensitive type, deadset to date only virgins, then I would say that sleeping around with lower quality girls first is subtly degrading. I.e., in later years you'll be glad if you didn't.

I think plenty of GI's in my dad's generation slept around, then married virgins. The women knew everything. But I don't see that they had really great family lives. The high school sweethearts (virgins) who got married seem to do best at staying together, and also seem to be most successful in life as well.

[drealm]

keep in mind once youve had a lot of different women you realize that p***y shouldnt be put on a pedestal. and after you realize that its harder if not impossible to settle for one bitch for life as you realize p***y is a dime a dozen.

I agree with this part. When I was a virgin I saw every woman as something special that I should delicately step around to not diminish my odds of getting laid. After visiting plenty of prostitutes I can now never "put the p***y up on the pedestal" again. What you learn from sewing your seeds is that all women have the same sex organs and are interchangeable. The Coolidge effect will settle in regardless of which one you're with. So this is bad in that maybe you lose some ability to see your future wife as unique. She's just one female among many that was in the right time and place. On the bright side, I no longer worry about offending women. Where as before I'd even be afraid of offending an ugly fat rude woman because I was so desperate for sex prospects.

I will say though that I don't think you should sew your seeds with virgins or young inexperienced unmarried women. If you sleep with these women and move on, these girls will regret giving away their virginity to someone besides their husband. And their husbands will feel their wife's virginity should of been a gift for them. So I think a man should sew his seeds with hookers or third world sluts that have been around the block. I don't like taking advantage of women, because I know they'll give away their virginity for emotional reasons not rational reasons. Even if you tell a virgin woman you're only interested in sex I still see it as bad, because women aren't responsible for their future and will always give in. Young women need strong guidance.

[Raja]

Good comments here. I would say that if you are interested in women over age 23 in the Anglosphere, i.e. girls certain to be non-virgins, then you do owe it both to ourself and to your future bride to sleep around. Your future bride will want to know that you have done all the exploring you need to do.

If you were a believing churchgoing boy, and a sensitive type, deadset to date only virgins, then I would say that sleeping around with lower quality girls first is subtly degrading. I.e., in later years you'll be glad if you didn't.

I think plenty of GI's in my dad's generation slept around, then married virgins. The women knew everything. But I don't see that they had really great family lives. The high school sweethearts (virgins) who got married seem to do best at staying together, and also seem to be most successful in life as well.

I agree with all you said. I think, there is nothing quite as sick as a divorced man approaching middle age traveling around the world in search of a virgin as his second or third wife

[All_That_Is_Man]

I agree with all you said. I think, there is nothing quite as sick as a divorced man approaching middle age traveling around the world in search of a virgin as his second or third wife

How exactly is that a bad thing at all?

[Jester]

Good comments here. I would say that if you are interested in women over age 23 in the Anglosphere, i.e. girls certain to be non-virgins, then you do owe it both to ourself and to your future bride to sleep around. Your future bride will want to know that you have done all the exploring you need to do.

If you were a believing churchgoing boy, and a sensitive type, deadset to date only virgins, then I would say that sleeping around with lower quality girls first is subtly degrading. I.e., in later years you'll be glad if you didn't.

I think plenty of GI's in my dad's generation slept around, then married virgins. The women knew everything. But I don't see that they had really great family lives. The high school sweethearts (virgins) who got married seem to do best at staying together, and also seem to be most successful in life as well.

I agree with all you said. I think, there is nothing quite as sick as a divorced man approaching middle age traveling around the world in search of a virgin as his second or third wife

What about this is it that seems bad to you?