dating/mating in america has destroyed my spirit

[bennandsarah]

far from a 'loser' -- i have advanced degrees - interesting line of work -- money saved -- and a good group of friends. today i finally have seen with my own eyes -- the absolute destruction of the male-female dating-mating game. i believe the social disconnectedness in america is to blame -- like steve hoca talks about at length in a video he made.

i have chronic pain and chose to semi-retire early. i'm only 47 but sometimes life throws you a curve. i've spent my life as a actor-director-teacher -- and every so often do something cool with regards to acting -- like a gig in london for a small tv role. when i'm around my peers i do a-ok. even with women. but i'm not on stage 24/7. i moved to small city near the missouri/ky border.

five years and it's been impossible to even find like minded friends. dating is limited to match.com/pof. had a few long term relationships after my divorce. but i've noticed today something profound. at my doctors office (huge orthopedic practice) -- they literally have an all female staff of close to 100. each female is either married since 18-22, taken, engaged, live in bf, or super picky to the point of craziness--fat uglies too. both me and another dude were actually talking about this in the office. every gal there has her bitch shield up to the point of hatred towards the men. they are unable to flirt -- and when i say flirt i mean like old people do -- the ability to make small talk. and you'd think gals would be nice in this little kentucky city -- but it ain't so. no matter what i bring up -- that i moved here -- that i act professionally -- whatever -- it just gets me stares. the neighbors actually look out their windows before walking to the mailboxes -- they might -- gasp -- have to say good morning or hello. and my apt complex is full of single men of all ages who are finding nada -- zip -- nothing. the male-female ratio favors the girls.

i've decided today to get my health as good as i can -- save money -- and get out of dodge. maybe i'll be teaching drama in russia -- who knows. i believe this game is unwinnable in america as you all do too -- just another man's perspective. it's true everything is women-centered. the media-tv shows-magazines-commercials. i've seen two eugenically themed commercials -- one for progressive--one for greek yogurt. both tell women they can do better than the nerdy geeky average guy. if the majority of men get nothing and are expendable--god help us. you cant have a society like this!!!!!!!!!!

[Jester]

Plan to leave sounds good. Keep us posted.

Who knows, maybe symptoms will improve as well, once you're away from the zombies.

[pete98146]

Great post. My word of advice to you (from a guy who has been in your shoes) is to realize that life is short. You are lucky in that you have some resources and can travel. Make it count! Create a game plan and stick to it. Also, do you consider yourself a "do-er or a thinker"?

My point is that many guys sit around deep thinking and moping but they never get off their asses to fix the problem. Don't be one of those guys. Make it happen! There are countless international beauties out there looking for a guy just like you. Go find one I did and life's never been better.

[Johnny1975]

Wall of text. I wish I wanted to read it.

[aozora13]

Interesting post. I guess it tells you that even in 'rural' America, you have women who are often entitled and do not wish to make small talk. I mean it would be different if he was outright talking to them to get on a date in the doctor's office but he only wanted to make small talk and ask if there are places to go to eat/activities.

Oh well.. I agree with Pete, since you are still relatively young plus semi-retired, you should see if you can do English teaching and/or do your English acting course and find a nice young Russian woman who is able to see the qualities that unfortunately American women constantly ignore while they search for their 'good' man.

[Raffie]

You're not alone at all.
Most (not all) American women feel they are worth 10x the amount they really are worth.
They want to date the abusive bad boy till their looks are about to fade, then they will marry a good guy to take care of them.
Pretty typical really.

Don't want to move to the Pacific Northwest either.
It's a total sausage fest here. Even the ugly women around here feel entitled and snotty.

[AmericanInMexico]

I can relate to this post. I myself used to live in Southern Illinois right across the river from St Louis near to where you live and had the exact same experience. I found that I could not say anything to the women without getting blank stares; they acted like every single thing I said was something strange that they had never heard before. They also liked to tell me I had a "funny accent" because I'm from Maryland and speak with a Chesapeake Bay area accent rather than that high-pitched nasal whine that people speak with in the St Louis area; some women there were simply unbearable with the amount of air they forced into their nasal cavities while talking, and they had the nerve to act like they were speaking "General American" and that they had "no accent". (As far as I'm concerned, the only people who speak English with no accent are the people in England, since after all this was their language first).

In any case, I found that the Midwest is not a friendly area at all like Midwesterners try to claim. I spent two years there and could not make a single friend since most people there are not interested in meeting new people after high school. At least when I lived in California I could make a random friend every now and then, but in Illinois I made zero friends and not for lack of trying either; people there simply are extremely set in their ways and don't want to make new friends since that would involve putting in some effort. There were only two good thing about life in Illinois: the first was that rent was super cheap (about $350 a month) and I had almost no possessions so I was able to save up lots of money. The second was that good quality meat is relatively cheap out there compared to on the coasts. I remember being able to buy sirloin steaks for $5.99 a pound whereas in Arizona the cheapest price I can find is $8.49 a pound.

My advice is to get out of the Midwest as fast as you can. It is seriously the worst region of the country.