What kind of woman should you go for?

[Johnny1975]

Here is a mock article that I wrote today. I don't know what I'll do with it, but I just thought I'd write it anyway. I wrote it quite quickly, and there are a few spelling errors and whatnot, but tell me what you think. It's based on my dating checklist.





What kind of woman should you go for?

Many guys tend to go for and stick with women who look nice, seem ok, and give them the time of day. They don't take the time to really assess her qualities. When you're involved with a woman it's very easy to become complacent, and your judgment tends to be clouded by the nice feeling of just being with someone. So, here is an outline of the sort of qualities that you should be on the lookout for. Of course, every woman is different and whereas one will exude certain qualities, another will exude other qualities more, but in general, here is what you should be aiming for. Be sure to keep your eyes open for the signs.

There are two fundamental qualities that absolutely need to be there, as almost everything else stems from them, not to mention how important they are in themselves. The first is character, and the other, which we'll get to shortly, is her psychology.

The girl in question needs to have character and be honourable. What this means is that she should have the moral compass to know what is right and wrong, and always act with integrity. You want a girl that does the right thing, for the right reasons. A girl with a proper sense of fairness and justice, and who sticks to her principles. This is crucial, because all this will determine how she will treat you. Basically you want a someone who is a good person deep down.

Upbringing is very important, which brings me to psychology. What is her baseline psychological state? Observe her to see how she interacts with and relates to people. She should be mentally stable and well adjusted socially, understand boundaries and be capable of bonding with people. This is normal stuff but you need to be absolutely sure that she has no major issues. A decent, normal, happy stable childhood and upbringing, including role models is crucial. If she is incapable if living in the present, or being realistic, or is very risk averse, or doesn't feel that she deserves good things, or has trust issues, these are red flags and indications of an unstable early life. You want a girl who is sane and functional, at peace, and reasonable confident, and can handle everyday life competently. Observe her home environment for signs of neglect. If she has a weird relationship with her parents, for example talking about sex with them, or calling them by their first names, this is not good. If she is into sinister, weird things, for example dark music, it's a likely sign that something isn't quite right with her, and eventually it will become a problem. If she has enemies or doesn't get on with people, that's a bad sign too. As a rule of thumb, try to ascertain if she has good self esteem, a positive attitude, and a happy disposition.

Another aspect of her psychology is her ability to keep it together. She needs to be reasonably in control of her emotions and moods. You don't want a girl who easily loses her temper, who doesn't think before speaking or acting, or who has a short attention span and a lack of concentration and focus. Check to see if her opinions are consistent and if she is decisive, or if she keeps changing her mind. If she can deal with her issues without lashing out at others, that's a good sign, and if she is capable of being rational when necessary, that's a very good sign.

It may seem irrelevant, but it's important to find a girl who has a good work ethic, as her ability to work says a lot about her, and this will determine how easy or hard life will be if you live with or marry her, so think about this. She needs to be dutiful, responsible, self disciplined, and capable of making sacrifices when necessary. Courage and resilience are important too, it's a sign of strength. Be sure that she has things going on in her life, and is productive and makes herself useful. She should be passionate about life too. Independence is also very important. She should have her own identity, be reasonably self sufficient, and have her own opinions.

If she lacks a conscience and a sense of accountability, she's going to be an absolute nightmare. So be sure that she can handle being told that she's wrong, being told off, corrected, and that she can admit her flaws instead of making excuses or shifting the blame onto others. She should be able to apologise, and if she lacks the humility to do so she's bad news.

Talking of humility, the last thing you want is a high maintenance prima donna who expects nothing of herself and everything of others. Your girl needs to be modest and humble, with a realistic view of herself rather than a massive ego, and who doesn't preach or go on a crusade. If she's open minded and broadminded, that's a positive sign.

It's important to find yourself a woman that is level headed, sensible, responsible, knows what is good for her, has gratitude for what she has, and doesn't require too much to be happy. She needs to have realistic expectations, accept most things as they are, and be easy to please. If she doesn't like nice guys or niceness, that's a bad sign. Her priorities should be ordered maturely. She should lead a simple life without drama, stupid risks, or gossip. She needs to have wisdom and good judgment otherwise being with her will be problematic. Is she frugal? Does she learn from her mistakes? Observe her and find out. Look at her home, her affairs, her lifestyle. Is she messy? Disorganised? These things are important.

Being with someone day to day can be a nightmare or very pleasant so look out for signs that indicate which one it's going to be. The last thing you want is constant conflict, and if your girl lacks the capacity to be gracious and play fair, forget about her. It's only going to get worse. Things like throwing stuff back in your face, not allowing problems to be resolved and reach closure, saying things that are below the belt, if you observe any of that, run. Harmony is important so you need a woman who is easy to get along with.

You don't have to be posh to have class. Find yourself a girl who is well behaved, polite, civilized. Gentleness is a far better quality than a loud mouth. She should be tactful, discreet, and handle situations in a noble, mature manner. Don't get involved with a woman who gossips and gets tangled up in other people's drama.

Never date a feminist. Only date women who have respect and admiration for men, and who do not aspire to be like a man. She needs to be feminine and ladylike in her body language and behaviour, rather than being into manly activities. It's crucial that she has a maternal instinct, loves kids, has no problem with doing domestic things, and likes being at home. And if there's some way that you can find out if she's fertile, go ahead and find out. If she understands that men and women are different and that different standards apply, she's on the right track.

Going back to being a good person, there are other qualities that you really have to be sure she has. Vulnerability, compassion, empathy, being conscious of others, kindness, hospitality, good will, if she lacks those, she's bad news. Does she compliment people? Does she treat people nicely? Is she capable of putting others before herself? If not, think about how she'll treat you.

You absolutely need to make sure that she is submissive. No manipulation, no rebelliousness, and certainly no domineering. She should be cooperative, and a compliment and balance to you. If she wants to do something that concerns or affects you, she needs to ask for your approval first. And she needs to respect your pride and your masculinity.

Honesty is probably one of the top things to look out for. I've split up the issue of honesty into nine distinct areas. First, she should be credible. This means that her story should add up and her behaviour should make sense and be congruent to her words. Sincerity is crucial. If she acts fake, move on. Simplicity is next. What you see is what you get. If there are lots of hidden layers to her, forget it and move on, it's not worth the hassle. She needs to always tell the truth. White lies are ok if there's a noble reason in her mind, but generally, she has to be honest and forthright. She should be aboveboard, not underhanded and secretive. Openness is very important. If she seems to have any kind of agenda, it's bad news, move on. Keeping promises and sticking to commitments is an essential quality. Can you trust her to do the right thing by you? Does she fulfil her side of a deal? Discretion and diplomacy are essential qualities. She should be able to keep things to herself, and keep secrets. She should mind her own business, and no blabbing.

If she is disloyal, don't stick around hoping that she''l change. Just move on. If she has any experience of disloyalty, it increases the likelihood of her cheating on you. What I mean is any of the following : At least on of her parents cheated, she knows people who have cheated, she has been cheated on herself, she has been the other woman, things like that. Any experience of disloyalty is bad news. Her allegiance should be firstly to you, no one else. She should be willing to work on things and fix problems when they arise, rather than walking away.

If you're going to spend your life with her, you have to ask yourself if being with her will be interesting and stimulating, or boring. A reasonable amount of intelligence is crucial, she should pick up on things enough to understand you. A little bit of a dark side and a bit of fire is ok, just as long as it's not too much, but enough to keep things interesting, and the same goes for mystery. You want a girl with a full, rounded personality, not someone who is one dimensional and always acts exactly the same and talks about the same old stuff. Someone with an active mind and an inquisitive spirit, who thinks about things and says interesting things. A good conversationalist is what you want in your life as the years go by.

A sense of humour and relaxed, lighthearted, natural attitude wil really brighten up your life, so seek a girl who has those. Youthfulness is important at any age, and you want a girl who is playful, a bit silly, and smiles and laughs easily.

[Johnny1975]

Anyone at home?