MarcosZeitola wrote:S_Parc wrote:I understand that Vancouver is Seattle North and has a high number of overcast days and gloomy ppl in general, however, I get a sense that you don't really understand what western society is about.
Having been born/raised in the New England region, what I've noticed is that the way that ppl mingle were through hobbyist clubs and associations, hence, I was in the Scouts briefly, did some volunteer work, some sports, etc, growing up. In a sense, what this allows is the individual to be is free from having to be continually monitored and coached by everyone around him, if he so chooses.
Many HA posters, however, don't seem to want to focus on their interests and instead, be unhappy because not everyone is inviting them to parties and so on. As I'd said earlier, if a person picks up an interest in let's Qigong/Tai Chi, Martial Arts, Archery, Weight Training, Painting, Music, etc, there's probably an association out there, of like minded practitioners. And over time, acquaintances can grow.
Now, with that stated, I'm not saying that there's a woman out there for everyone. This is where I depart from the Publics and Marcos in the world. In general, many good women are gone within weeks of arriving in North America. Yet, the lack of women doesn't mean that one needs to be miserable.
The West is simply not a place Bao feels happy or at home in, and as I hear from his trips to other countries (mainly in Asia, including but not limited to China) he's been a lot more happier and more successful there. This
does include romantic success, too: while there may be men who are capable of having a perfectly fine and enjoyable lives single, not all of us are such men. Some of us are lone wolves, others are more family oriented and need a romantic companion. It's quite a gap from "not quite satisfied" or "still missing something" all the way to downright "miserable".
I'm not miserable in the West right now, but I am certainly not happy either as I'm not where I wish to be. Still, I have warm relationships with my family which I cherish, and a few good friends back home including one who recently came back after having been abroad for a year. Miserable would be an overstatement for me, but I'm certainly not quite "there yet". I have found my Nirvana, but I'm not in it yet. In many ways, S_Parc, you are a lot closer to Livin La Vida Loca then me right now. I still have work to do, obstacles to overcome.
All we can do is just set goals for ourselves and working towards achieving them. Tell yourself where you want to be at what point in your life, then see to it you get there. That's what I am doing right now. I found what makes me happy, but to ensure I can have a lasting happiness requires hard work and commitment in a place I'd rather not be. C'est la vie. Good times are ahead!
As for the misery index, I wasn't specifically targeting you, just the general tone of HAers. I think it's safe to say that men, settled down with their Filipino, Vietnamese, Brazilian, <fill-in-your-favorite-place> brides, over there, are a lot happier than men here, minus of course, my finding of the college sweetheart (which never was). America (plus Canada) are places which require a program of sorts, or a way of managing one's mental framework, to be successful in. In Brazil, everyone goes out and parties. It's practically a non-issue. If a guy sits around Boston and expects that would happen to him, however, then he's going to be sitting by his phone for a long time.
Still, before the Miracle On Ice event had occurred, there was a definite period of time where I could have gone down the road of rage and misery but I pretty much put a sock in it. If life gave me lemons, I made lemonade, etc. I'd worked on myself and basically, had a full schedule of things to do, as well as good social life with friends and acquaintances. I wasn't going to let the average attitude of arrogant Yankee women, bring my day down. I was focused.
And of course, that was part of the catalyst which made Mel want to change and be a part of it. And then, of course, the miracle was that it was evident that we should have been together, all of this time, anyways. She was doing an abbreviated WGTOW and myself, a modified MGTOW, and then the miracle happened. I would even say that she fell for me, before my owning awakening, because I simply didn't anticipate it. The rest is history and now, I'm the perennial anti-hero of this forum, for first bashing AWs and then finally, settling down with one.
Many years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.
Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.
AB discussion thread
BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.