Contrarian Expatriate wrote: ↑July 4th, 2020, 8:05 pm
Well, it's at the core of your insecurities and your unregulated dysfunction. You deeply resent people who dare to do better than you in higher status professions and you despise men who dare to not follow your traditionalist fairy tale of marriage and happily ever after.
At the end of the day everyone has their own insecurities. At my age, I could have been a multi-millionaire celebrity chef like Jamie Oliver, or maybe a hollywood actor like Leonardo Di Caprio, or a financial mathematician with a PhD from MIT who runs a hedge fund making tens of millions in profit every year.
Unfortunately I am just a sous chef who is co-managing a place in Manila. I am reasonably secure that I tried my best, I made choices that gave me not just professional growth but an international experience and quite a bit of fun. I am not 100% sure I'll be running my own restaurant chain in 5 or 10 years but I will give it my best shot. I am already well placed to achieve that.
I am not the richest CEO or celeb chef but I am real. This is the key difference between the likes of you and the likes of me.
I don't resent people who are better, or better off than me, because they often are my inspiration, they feed my ambitions and give me an ideal path to follow. How far on that path I will follow, it will be up to myself, my best effort and a moderate amount of luck.
What I can't suffer is people like you, who prefer hiding their own failures and insecurities behind an image of success, wealth, confidence. The problem about these people is that they get desentized to what's real, what's important, and feed themselves with more and more of these delusions.
And soon enough, feeding themselves isn't enough anymore: they have to spoon-feed everybody around them with their narrative, because the best way to convince themselves that they are indeed at the top of the world is to convince others. Of course whoever shows any reluctance to share their mind movie and applaud at every key scene is labelled as an idiot, a loser. They pretend to seek debate but bash whoever doesn't agree (that's what a debate is for, after all) with personal attacks and insult.
You could well be "high status" and "high worth", but it's all in your mind, my delusional little man. Even a real janitor trumps a tycoon in his own mind.
So long you can hide behind a PC screen, you can afford proclaiming that you "beat me to a pulp" and attach Ratatouille's Skinner pics to confirm it. Then at some point you will have to move your overweight limbs to pop out to buy grocery, or get some cash from the ATM. That's where the problems start: outside your mind movie you're not a star anymore, you're just you.
And you hate it to the guts.
About my traditionalist fairy tale, you keep cracking your head on a very hard wall. I never said I am a traditionalist, I never said I am looking for the one love to get married to. Fact of the matter, I am having a lifestyle far better than yours in your rented basement, and I only said I would consider marrying the right woman if and when I find her and decide to start a family with her.
Contrarian Expatriate wrote: ↑July 4th, 2020, 8:05 pm
The fact that I represent the exact opposite of what you stand for, yet have 3 times your income (and growing) seems to burn away at your soul. Deny it all you wish, but it's true.
On this you're right, we sit at opposites because you like to project something that grandiose but not real, while I "slave away" in a job to make money and grow my professional status. I am happy with my real lifestyle and, unlike you, I don't seek validation on something that is just in your mind.
Contrarian Expatriate wrote: ↑July 4th, 2020, 8:05 pm
There is a lot to unpack in your persona and none of it is positive. A healthy portion of Narcissistic Personality Disorder and a dollop of pathological envy combine to make you an overwhelmed malcontent who seethes at the knowledge that he is not doing so well after all.
OK let's say I am unhappy. If you really are so happy and confident, unlike me, what need would you have, to go to a relatively obscure forum like HA and post an entire thread to mock another member just because he did what anyone could, at any time, do: call you on your BS and tell you to shut up, or at least tune the tall tales a couple notches down?
If you pretend you have done it all and know it all, at least be prepared to start a debate about it. Be prepared for some of us to disagree, some of us to expect evidence of your bombastic claims, some of us to dismiss them right away. If you can't accept any debate, that's
your problem, not the world's.
Contrarian Expatriate wrote: ↑July 4th, 2020, 8:05 pm
The coping mechanism to fantasize that I'm lying about being wealthy, I'm making up stories about girls and sugar babies, I'm living in a basement and not upgraded hotel rooms seems to make you feel better about yourself. I understand why and I say continue fantasizing my successes away. Your pretending that they are all lies does not make me enjoy it all any less.
No need to change that when the truth hurts you so much.
So I will beat the drum. You're an underachieving malcontent who hates where he is in life. If you had a modicum of class or potential like some of the other members here, you would inquiring about how you could do the same instead of having forum tantrums while repeating, "He's lying, none of that is true, he really poor, he's lonely, he has never even been to Kiev!"
Your very mindset will serve as a barrier to ever reaching my levels of professional and financial success. Since it is implausible for me, it will forever remain implausible for you. The universe is BRUTAL with those consumed with negativity. So bringing out all of yours just ensures your perpetual disappointment. You make it quite easy for me actually
Funny that, last time I checked it looks like all these verbal fights we plunge each other into are
your coping mechanism. You just have to show yourself to us as a wealthy, successful and confident man who can sugar daddy Ukrainian "9s and 10s". It makes you feel good, it's your daily shot of happiness and dignity. Like I said multiple times, I personally wouldn't mind the fake till you make show off attitude as I believe it's ingrained in the American DNA and it's cute so long it's harmless.
It's when you take the further step of labelling and insulting people because they don't fit in your movie, that I get a bit annoyed. You then deserve me mocking you, bickering and teasing you. Believe me, it's better than the pity many other HA members are affording you.