What book should I write?

[Cornfed]

Since I am bored and don’t want to do much but stare at a screen and I’m a good writer, it follows that I should write a book. The trouble is that I can’t come up with a topic. You guys know me. What should I write about?

[yick]

12 Months in the Bando - a comedy-drama about a young man from New Zealand who takes up a job in a public high school in Korea.

Jimmy Jensen's life is in tatters, his mum kicks him out of the house after moving her Samoan bouncer lover in and he loses his savings as he gains just three votes in the local council elections for Papatoetoe for the National Socialist Party of New Zealand - thus losing his deposit.

Jimmy searches for jobs and a place online and finds that Korea will give him both, a week later he is given an airline ticket and he is off to Korea.

There, he experiences culture shock, alienation and the confusion of wanting a white world but getting hard-ons looking at Korean 18 year olds in short skirts - especially the ones who are giving him the glint of their eyes. Set in Auckland and some industrial shithole on the outskirts of Seoul.

Jimmy is forced to learn the Haka for a parents evening, beats up/or gets beaten up by the hardest male student in the school, learns to love kimchi, makes friends with a load of Canadian douchebags outside the local 7/11, gets drunk with them, goes on roadtrips with them, gets a girlfriend in the former of some fat kinky British slag, loses his girlfriend and Canadian friends because he can't keep his racism to himself, learns Korean - he might get one of his High School students pregnant... or he might not... loads of scope for such a story.


If you do it in the first person narrative - you can do it! Get at least 200 pages out of it, let me know when you publish it on Amazon, I will buy it!

[gsjackson]

You should wait until after Nov. 3 to decide. One way or the other it's going to be a different world. Obviously it should be something in the cultural criticism realm.

[Cornfed]

12 Months in the Bando - a comedy-drama about a young man from New Zealand who takes up a job in a public high school in Korea.

Jimmy Jensen's life is in tatters, his mum kicks him out of the house after moving her Samoan bouncer lover in and he loses his savings as he gains just three votes in the local council elections for Papatoetoe for the National Socialist Party of New Zealand - thus losing his deposit.

Jimmy searches for jobs and a place online and finds that Korea will give him both, a week later he is given an airline ticket and he is off to Korea.

There, he experiences culture shock, alienation and the confusion of wanting a white world but getting hard-ons looking at Korean 18 year olds in short skirts - especially the ones who are giving him the glint of their eyes. Set in Auckland and some industrial shithole on the outskirts of Seoul.

Jimmy is forced to learn the Haka for a parents evening, beats up/or gets beaten up by the hardest male student in the school, learns to love kimchi, makes friends with a load of Canadian douchebags outside the local 7/11, gets drunk with them, goes on roadtrips with them, gets a girlfriend in the former of some fat kinky British slag, loses his girlfriend and Canadian friends because he can't keep his racism to himself, learns Korean - he might get one of his High School students pregnant... or he might not... loads of scope for such a story.


If you do it in the first person narrative - you can do it! Get at least 200 pages out of it, let me know when you publish it on Amazon, I will buy it!

That's pretty funny, but my actual life is funnier. But then I don't think much of my actual life is worth writing about. I want it to get better.

[Cornfed]

12 Months in the Bando - a comedy-drama about a young man from New Zealand who takes up a job in a public high school in Korea.

Jimmy Jensen's life is in tatters, his mum kicks him out of the house after moving her Samoan bouncer lover in and he loses his savings as he gains just three votes in the local council elections for Papatoetoe for the National Socialist Party of New Zealand - thus losing his deposit.

Jimmy searches for jobs and a place online and finds that Korea will give him both, a week later he is given an airline ticket and he is off to Korea.

There, he experiences culture shock, alienation and the confusion of wanting a white world but getting hard-ons looking at Korean 18 year olds in short skirts - especially the ones who are giving him the glint of their eyes. Set in Auckland and some industrial shithole on the outskirts of Seoul.

Jimmy is forced to learn the Haka for a parents evening, beats up/or gets beaten up by the hardest male student in the school, learns to love kimchi, makes friends with a load of Canadian douchebags outside the local 7/11, gets drunk with them, goes on roadtrips with them, gets a girlfriend in the former of some fat kinky British slag, loses his girlfriend and Canadian friends because he can't keep his racism to himself, learns Korean - he might get one of his High School students pregnant... or he might not... loads of scope for such a story.


If you do it in the first person narrative - you can do it! Get at least 200 pages out of it, let me know when you publish it on Amazon, I will buy it!

Actually that's really good, but there would have to be a story. A sequence of events leading to something with a beginning, middle and end. What would that be?

[yick]

12 Months in the Bando - a comedy-drama about a young man from New Zealand who takes up a job in a public high school in Korea.

Jimmy Jensen's life is in tatters, his mum kicks him out of the house after moving her Samoan bouncer lover in and he loses his savings as he gains just three votes in the local council elections for Papatoetoe for the National Socialist Party of New Zealand - thus losing his deposit.

Jimmy searches for jobs and a place online and finds that Korea will give him both, a week later he is given an airline ticket and he is off to Korea.

There, he experiences culture shock, alienation and the confusion of wanting a white world but getting hard-ons looking at Korean 18 year olds in short skirts - especially the ones who are giving him the glint of their eyes. Set in Auckland and some industrial shithole on the outskirts of Seoul.

Jimmy is forced to learn the Haka for a parents evening, beats up/or gets beaten up by the hardest male student in the school, learns to love kimchi, makes friends with a load of Canadian douchebags outside the local 7/11, gets drunk with them, goes on roadtrips with them, gets a girlfriend in the former of some fat kinky British slag, loses his girlfriend and Canadian friends because he can't keep his racism to himself, learns Korean - he might get one of his High School students pregnant... or he might not... loads of scope for such a story.


If you do it in the first person narrative - you can do it! Get at least 200 pages out of it, let me know when you publish it on Amazon, I will buy it!

Actually that's really good, but there would have to be a story. A sequence of events leading to something with a beginning, middle and end. What would that be?

Jimmy Jensen is the grandson of a Danish Waffen SS soldier who ran off to South Africa then New Zealand after the war - so he has grown up with racism and white nationalism since he was a boy, his mum, after divorcing Jimmy's dad who fell into the harbour whilst working in the docks - becomes a lover of Samoan brawn which leads to the family being disowned by Jensen senior.

Growing up in Papatoetoe is rough when you are a white nationalist but he sticks to his guns, becoming a Nazi historian of note - he becomes pen-pals with David Irving and enters a local election for the local Nationalist Socialist party but only gets three votes - one of them is from his older sister and the other two are from his mum and her Samoan boyfriend - who voted for him on the premise he would get the f**k out of the house.

With a history degree but no job, he lost all his savings on the deposit for the election to become MP for Papatoetoe - so he is desperate - he is sleeping on a tent in the local park and goes to the library during the day, it is there where he finds out that you can live and work in Korea - housing is given and a good salary, no experience is needed and they provide the airline ticket - he writes them an email, 20 minutes later they reply, - an hour after he has a skype interview and BANG! He has a job.

He then starts to read up more about Korea - he finds out that they are into racial purity just like he is, Jimmy is looking forward to working in Korea.

[Neo]

I kind of write books too, but not for other people to read. I don't think I'd want anyone to read them. They're simply too personal. I probably have over 100 pages handwritten from this year alone so far.

Some other stuff I do is, whenever I hear a good quote, I'll usually write it down. I've got a good size collection of those.

Read the Bible.

Study some of the sayings of ancient Greek and Roman philosophers.

Study human psychology. Not from textbooks, but from the culture and my own experiences.

And then there are conspiracy theories. Just going back over recent events to find the inconsistencies in the stories. All very interesting.

All this stuff can be very time consuming.

[yick]

So you start with his youth - getting pummeled daily by islander kids six times the size of him at school whilst listening to his grandads tales of life on the Eastern Front, he does well at school and gets a place at uni, his dad dies falling into the water at Auckland docks and he is disowned from the only family he cares about, mum becomes a lover of black cock and kicks him out of the house.

He wants to make a change, he tries to join the army but fails the medical because of flat feet, he goes into politics but comes last in a local election for his ward, he tries to get dates but fail, you can make this up as you along, it doesn't have to be based on you but you can pick and choose experiences from what you know - I mean, how many Kiwi ESL stories are there? Funny ones as well, you can make the character as rabid a rtacist as you want but it clashes with his work teaching non-white kids English. Dealing with a culture that sees him just as much as an outsider as they did back in Papatoetoe - he finally makes friends with a load of Canadians who may or may not share his views, he dates a skanky Brit who probably doesn't share his views, he goes to Thailand to get a Swastika tattoo (as it is a sacred symbol over there) he teaches his kids the glory of the third reich in his ESL lessons and the principal approves - so much you can write and make it funny! I can help but you have to actually write it!

[yick]

The story - the main arc - the conflict is the fact that he wants the world to be a certain way but it isn't and his efforts to change it haven't been working, secondly is that he has to make a living and live somewhere so he has to make compromises and ends up in Asia, now there are lots of conflicts that can arise from this - his place on the totem pole is low, he is sexually attracted to non-white women for the first time ever, he has money to do what he wants, he has friends for the first time, he loses his virginity to the British skank, he buys a scooter, he becomes a conissuer of Korean cuisine, he gets into fights with his male students, another teacher - a Korean teacher he works alongside with falls in love with him, he gains a colleague, a fat, loud African American woman who is always in his face berating him and he gets her fired because he has been longer there than her, the prinicpal makes him wear Maori traditional get up and he has to do a bare chested Haka and all the parents film his performance and put it on YouTube where he becomes a celebrity for a brief time, he gets arrested, he gets a Korean girlfriend, he goes to Thailand, Vietnam and China - he may change his views, he may not - he may harden his views - there is so much you can write for it to be funny and be interesting.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

Since I am bored and don’t want to do much but stare at a screen and I’m a good writer, it follows that I should write a book. The trouble is that I can’t come up with a topic. You guys know me. What should I write about?

I have an appropriate topic for you. I'll even suggest the title.

A Bogan's Life: How to not off yourself when you are a low-IQ, resentful, sexless loser with no purpose in life other than to enviously besmirch people who are better than and who have done better than you.

I think you would have a great deal of material to write on that topic!

[Cornfed]

Yeah, OK I should expect this. Some non-troll responses please.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

Yeah, OK I should expect this. Some non-troll responses please.

I agree that you are a decent writer, but since the content of your contributions have no intellectual underpinnings, lack sound reasoning, and are generally outbursts of frustration over a failed Kiwi life, I'd say writing a book to be published would be punching quite a bit above your weight to say the least. Nothing troll-like in that because it's all true and you know it.

By the way, what happened to your plan to get a PhD? If that pipe dream fell by the wayside so quickly, I'm sure this one will go the same route. Writing a book takes actual work and dedication. People of your lowly station in life generally don't do well with longer term projects.

I do think it's cute and all that you're fantasizing about writing a book, but get real you moron.

[yick]

Yeah, OK I should expect this. Some non-troll responses please.

I agree that you are a decent writer, but since the content of your contributions have no intellectual underpinnings, lack sound reasoning, and are generally outbursts of frustration over a failed Kiwi life, I'd say writing a book to be published would be punching quite a bit above your weight to say the least. Nothing troll-like in that because it's all true and you know it.

By the way, what happened to your plan to get a PhD? If that pipe dream fell by the wayside so quickly, I'm sure this one will go the same route. Writing a book takes actual work and dedication. People of your lowly station in life generally don't do well with longer term projects.

I do think it's cute and all that you're fantasizing about writing a book, but get real you moron.

Which will make a good book if he intertwines it with his years abroad, I think he was in Korea and China - he could actually write all his racist crap within character and it would be funny. I agree writing a book is a long term project which he needs to a) stick at b) get a good mentor who can deliver constructive criticism and c) be able to re-write and edit.

I agree that Cornfed's ability with written English is excellent, there is no reason why he shouldn't be able to write a decent book of just over 200 pages or so. It's if he actually sticks with it.

[yick]

So you need to write a book of around 250 pages which comes to around 70000 words, you are going to give yourself three to five years to finish it. Plenty of time!

So, first of all, you are going to write 12 chapters of short stories and then you link the stories and the beginning of the next chapter - you are threading the story then.

You can actually start from the beginning or start from the present day and he is reminiscing. Up to you how you do this but write the first 12 short stories and then leave them, other chapters will come during the writing process, you won't finish with 12 chapters, you will end up with 15-20 chapters as new leads and directions take route.

When you are writing - think about where this story can go, not how it is going to go, leave it open to what can happen to your lead character. Remember, conflict creates interest and comedy moments, so a white nationalist ESL teacher in Korea is always going to have conflict, with other ESL teachers, his colleagues, members of the public, his students.

So, once you have written twelve somewhat related short stories that can be threaded one into the other, you can write extra chapters and then add to the chapters, once you have done that, you can extend the chapters - it will take you a year or two, maybe more. You can do it though but like CE said, it is about sticking at it.

It is like doing a jigsaw, need to do the outline first and then build towards the centre!

[Light]

Since I am bored and don’t want to do much but stare at a screen and I’m a good writer, it follows that I should write a book. The trouble is that I can’t come up with a topic. You guys know me. What should I write about?

The best advice I have is to not ask people what to write. You could mention some of your ideas and see if people like your ideas. You need to feel passionate about what you are writing so you need to create the idea yourself. You will also encounter writing block even on things you are passionate about, so if you are not passionate about something then you would probably have much more writing block.