Why Do Western Cultures Treat Co-Dependency as a Bad Thing?

[Outcast9428]

One of the things I dislike most about Westerners is how the abstract concepts of equality and independence seem to trump everything in this country. People in the US do not believe that any happiness or benefit obtained from certain things are legitimate unless its "equal" and both parties are "independent." Any happiness obtained that doesn't conform to the expectation that you respect equality and independence will have the rest of society determined to destroy it no matter what because it threatens their worldview too much to see people satisfied with unequal levels of responsibility or dependence despite the fact that it worked for thousands of years. Western cultures are so hyper individualistic that people will destroy their own chance for happiness just to accommodate their pride as an individual. They act for example like a rich guy who marries a poor girl is a terrible person because "she needs him." So f***ing what if she needs him? By marrying him, she got a one way ticket out of poverty and is now a rich girl. If the rich guy is happy with that, and the formerly poor girl is happy, then why is Western society so determined to crush the happiness of people like that? Westerners will become hell bent on convincing one of the two parties that the other is "exploiting them" in order to destroy their relationship. It makes me sick.

And I see an example of this in how people in the West automatically treat co-dependent relationships as if they are horrible and inherently abusive. Westerners refuse to accept that equal, independent relationships just don't work. How good of a foundation are you creating for life long marriage when both sides feel like they can walk away at any time? Everyone knows that divorce rates are worse in the West than anywhere else but they just explain this away by saying "people in traditional cultures are unhappy in their marriages." How do you f***ing know that? I hate how liberal Westerners just invent statistics out of thin air with the excuse of "its not being reported!" when they don't have any to back up their vague claims.

But the truth is, I believe that co-dependency is not only not a bad thing, but actually desirable. The best form of love is created when both people feel the other person has something they truly need and they can't exist without the other person. Something nobody else can really provide you, or at least, you don't trust anybody else to provide you with. When both people need each other, they put in more effort to make the relationship work and don't skidaddle or start cheating on their partner at the first sign of trouble. Relationships naturally have one person who is more of a leader, the more responsible person, while the other person is the follower and takes on less responsibility. This is how human relationships work, its how governments work with government officials taking on more responsibility then the civilians, it is what is most natural.

Traditional marriages were all about people needing each other, belonging to one another, fulfilling every one of each other's needs. But nowadays we've got people obsessed with "muh independence and equality" and apparently are not willing to give that up for anything no matter how much joy is promised to them.

No matter how economically prosperous the West is, I honestly cannot stand the basic ideological/philosophical foundations of our societies anymore. I like the ideological and philosophical foundations of traditional Western society. I love Medieval history and want to go to Europe and tour the castles, museums, and cathedrals built in the time period that I consider the golden age of European civilization. I believe that civilization was still a glorious place to live in 60 years ago but ever since then we've been on a frighteningly rapid decline. While I love the ideological foundations of traditional Western civilization, I hate the ideological foundations of modern, liberal Western civilization. Our ancestors would be ashamed of what we have become. It feels like people in the West have become so wealthy that they don't feel obligated to understand and obey the basic laws of nature anymore. This is the true root of liberalism, is the desire to ignore reality/nature in favor of sophisticated lies that sound nice but are a disaster when implemented in reality.

[Winston]

This is a good point. I asked the same question before in other threads. In Asia, needing your girlfriend or boyfriend and being codependent is normal. Why be independent? Especially if you don't feel independent? A man is not supposed to feel whole being alone. We were created to need women for a reason. Why should we pretend otherwise? Americans like to pretend to be independent. I wonder if they truly believe they don't need others or if it's just a facade.

Everything in nature is interconnected and codependent too. So codependency is natural and part of the universe. We are all dependent on the Sun to give us life too. So dependency is natural. And you can't be something you are not of course. I don't understand American culture or mentality and have never fit into it.