Matched with an Average-Looking Girl--Married at First Sight

[MrMan]

Many years ago, I saw enough of the first season of 'Married at First Sight' to know a little about the couples. The women were pretty for that season, at least two of them. I've got a subscription to Hulu where you can look at the seasons, and I can see the clips. It looks like over the years, they started choosing more average-looking women.

I do not think arranged marriage is a bad thing, necessarily, for a society. It was probably easier back in the old days before photographs and television, where most people only saw a few hundred people in their lives, so they were not bombarded with images of 9's and 10's for looks on billboards constantly. When I was single and looking, a woman had to be very attractive, at least to me personally, before I would consider her a dating or marriage prospect. Maybe it was the effect of media, or maybe because my mom was in the 9+ range, or because she placed some emphasis on my marrying a pretty woman who would give her pretty grandchildren when I was little, or some sort of 'nurture' thing I am not aware of.

Anyway, I just don't get why they wouldn't pick couples based on looks on the show, churning out shows about 9's and 10's who they match up, at least for the women on the show. Maybe there is more drama in the show if there is a larger chance couples will not be physically attracted to each other. Or maybe they think it is more realistic somehow since most people who marry aren't 9's and 10's.

Maybe the show draws in contestants who do not care so much about looks.

I also do not get why people who have seen the show a bit would go for these experts to match them. They have a sociologist on there who offers advice. Is there such thing as a clinical sociologist? They replaced the religious advisor, who was a Humanist clergyman-- not a real religion-- with a pastor. But the pastor throws around the idea of divorce rather easily in the bits and pieces I've seen. These marriages are called 'experiments' and they let people marry if their parents are not on-board, something I think the pastor should oppose, and something that starts the marriage out with a strike against it.

One reason I would not trust these experts is that they keep throwing the word 'divorce' around. They sit the couples down and almost give them permission to divorce each other after so many weeks. I could imagine someone on the show saying, "I feel insulted that you call our marriage an 'experiment'" and asking the experts, "How would you like it if I sat you down with your wife/husband and gave him/her permission to divorce you and asked if he/she wanted a divorce?" It's pretty insane that they do that, especially since they were the ones who set the couple up-- as if the experts had power over their marriage just for setting it up. The other danger is being set up with someone who wants to 'try it out' who does not really believe in making a permanent commitment for marriage. The experts' idea of marriage does not seem that permanent since they keep suggesting divorce (or the editor keeps showing their one or few suggestions of it.)

I'd imagine these experts could get in the way of a man exerting a bit of 'male dominance' in the marriage to set the right tone for the future.

I think a more healthy version of this show, something that would be more akin to successful traditions of arranged marriage, would be to include parents in the decision of who should marry whom. They should at least let parents veto if they are going to have the couples marry sight unseen. Moms probably would not keep it totally secret. Parents could choose top five candidates or veto candidates. They could include friends, siblings, etc. in vetoing potential spousal candidates who do not suit a contestant's taste for looks. Maybe that could be another show, where western parents match their adult children up like Indians have done for ages.