Anyone else thinks that "settling down" is a dumb thing to do especially as a relatively young man? (Gynocentric society

[Archibault]

I see a lot of conservatives pushing men to settle down when they are young. It is because they assume a man's life is the same as a woman's life. In my opinion, a women ages like milk, a man ages like wine.

It seems because of a women's biological clock; she has to settle down young. In contrast, to a man who as long as he has some wealth he can keep on getting laid.

Life of an average woman: Party when you are young, then settle down with a guy to provide for them.

Life of an average man: Deal with a lot of BS growing up and then finding your own footing at a certain point.

Life of young man: You have to deal with a lot of BS from your parents, then teachers, then roommates, the building residents, then co-workers, then boss. However, eventually, you get to a point where you don't have to deal with anything of this.

For instance, you live in a condo-hotel, have your own business, and make money through passive income. You don't have a boss; you don't have roommates, you don't have to deal with building residents. The opposite won't happen right out of college; it'll be a few years to get to the point.

You can rent out your condo unit and travel and get laid. For instance, I met this guy in his mid/late 20s, and he said he went to Budapest, had enough money to get his whole table, and started to get laid with tons of Hungarian women. He was no longer "cold approaching" and wasting time, he had money and bought his own table and all the women flocked to him.

Option 1: Settle down with a average Western woman, move to the suburbs, become a loner, get in debt, buy an expensive car you don't need, buy a dog you don't like, get a costly wedding. All of this is a HUGE financial investment.

You could also run into a bigger risk, you could get a divorce, and your life will become even worst.

Option 2: Rent out your condo hotel and leave your western country. Travel not for the "experience tourist" BS. But actually to enjoy your life. For instance, travel to Prague, Barcelona, or Budapest massively get laid with pros. Have many mini-relationships with the local women go to concerts, museums, restaurants, movie theaters. With your passive income, finance the "passive projects" you like.

Start enjoying your life since you've earned it after going through so much BS growing up.

[Winston]

It is dumb if you are a freedom lover. However most people are not true freedom lovers. They define freedom as "the freedom to work and make money and get a job", not the freedom to travel and have adventures and do what you want. It's a fallacy to assume others are like us. Most people want a routine, they are like trees or grass and seek to settle. Most women want to build a nest, not be a gypsy or nomad or adventurer. Not everyone is a freespirit. Most people are practical, especially in Asia. Also people are lonely and assume settling down into marriage is the only way to quell that. Also men highly value women and so when they can get one, they seek to settle down.

[publicduende]

It is dumb if you are a freedom lover. However most people are not true freedom lovers. They define freedom as "the freedom to work and make money and get a job", not the freedom to travel and have adventures and do what you want. It's a fallacy to assume others are like us. Most people want a routine, they are like trees or grass and seek to settle. Most women want to build a nest, not be a gypsy or nomad or adventurer. Not everyone is a freespirit. Most people are practical, especially in Asia. Also people are lonely and assume settling down into marriage is the only way to quell that. Also men highly value women and so when they can get one, they seek to settle down.

I think very few people would hate the idea of spending their lives travelling around the world and engaging in adventure after adventure. Reality is, very few people, in fact even fewer, have the opportunity to do so. Travelling without working is financially draining, even on a tight budget. Unforeseen circumstances, like an accident while hiking on Mt Kilimanjaro, might easily cost the traveller tens of thousands of dollars even with full travel insurance.

The definition of freedom as the "freedom to work and make money and get a job" is the closer to freedom the average man can hope to achieve in their lifetime. Maybe an "enhanced" kind of freedom, under than definition, is the ability to have a job that requires a lot of travelling abroad, so one gets a few days to explore after the business engagement is completed, and it's all (or mostly) on the company card. Or maybe the ability to have "portable" skills, which might allow them to be digital nomads and work from virtually anywhere with a half-decent Internet connection.

It's true that most women are not the adventurous type and, besides the occasional romantic or pampering trip, their long-term agenda is build a nest for themselves and their families. I also agree with you, on observation, that Asian cultures tend to be a lot more pragmatic and put stability and money-making.

Having said so, there are a lot of girls here in the Philippines who end up depending 100% on their foreign bfs or husbands. I would say those girls would be more than happy if their partners were to whisk them off where they are and take them halfway across the world. That doesn't make them adventurous, though. They're simply happy to receive whatever their men can give them, in the form of life support down to leisurely experiences, like travelling.

Finally, you need to consider that an adventurous, nomadic life is often incompatible with building the sort of career that is conducive to making money. For as much as they love to travel, a medical doctor or academic researcher whose field doesn't specifically involves travelling to fancy exotic locations, knows that the only way to function as a professional is to take tenure at a hospital, or stick to the same desk for a number of years.

[Winston]

True but you can travel the world cheaply if you do some extreme things like hitchhiking or cycling everywhere. I knew a Polish lady who did that for 5 years and spent very little money and went to every continent. Unfortunately on her second tour she died of malaria in Africa. See links about her below.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinga_Choszcz

https://www.thelongestwayhome.com/resou ... oszcz.html

Her book is very inspiring and full of amazing color photos. I bought a copy from her when I met her in Poland long ago.

https://www.amazon.com/Led-Destiny-Hitc ... 8373802053

I also talked to a guy named Charles DiBella who traveled around Cambodia on a bicycle and stayed at Buddhist monasteries for free. He said it was a wonderful experience.

So there are ways if you go to extremes and do something unconventional like that. It's weird at first but once you get used to it, it becomes easy and natural I'm sure.

Btw publicduende, those factors you listed are all true. But I think another issue is that people care what others think, so they believe that they have to have a career or stable job or else people will look down on them. They can't just take off like a hippie like in the movie "Easy Rider". lol

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0064276/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0

[Winston]

Btw @publicduende how is hypermak? What is he doing now? Did you ask him why he doesn't post anymore? Is he working as a chef in Italy now or what?

Btw did you ask your girlfriend if she would prefer a settled down life or an adverturous life like you see on TV? lol

Don't people who work everyday think "Why am I doing this? Being a slave to money just because the system says so, just for a paycheck, because that's what you are supposed to do? It's so boring, even if it's normal. How much longer can I tolerate this?"

Doesn't everyone think that at some point? Some people don't just think it, they cannot tolerate it and cannot stand it after a few months.

Also if you think about it, trading time for money isn't a good trade because time is priceless, money is not.

How did your IT business go? Are you still at it or are you trying to do something else now?

[publicduende]

True but you can travel the world cheaply if you do some extreme things like hitchhiking or cycling everywhere. I knew a Polish lady who did that for 5 years and spent very little money and went to every continent. Unfortunately on her second tour she died of malaria in Africa. See links about her below.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinga_Choszcz

https://www.thelongestwayhome.com/resou ... oszcz.html

Her book is very inspiring and full of amazing color photos. I bought a copy from her when I met her in Poland long ago.

https://www.amazon.com/Led-Destiny-Hitc ... 8373802053

I also talked to a guy named Charles DiBella who traveled around Cambodia on a bicycle and stayed at Buddhist monasteries for free. He said it was a wonderful experience.

So there are ways if you go to extremes and do something unconventional like that. It's weird at first but once you get used to it, it becomes easy and natural I'm sure.

Btw publicduende, those factors you listed are all true. But I think another issue is that people care what others think, so they believe that they have to have a career or stable job or else people will look down on them. They can't just take off like a hippie like in the movie "Easy Rider". lol

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0064276/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0

I don't think the definition of "free spirit" is that black-and-white.

Your Polish friend (rest in peace) is one of the few people who devoted their lives to travelling and exploring. Many others, most I would say, would travel for a year or two and then settle for a routine life of desk work, house and maybe family. Others would work 6 or 9 months a year, save up what they can (intermittent work isn't usually associated to top dollar) and spend the rest of the year travelling to exotic places.

Then there's the whole bunch of "digital nomads", who allegedly can afford to travel all year round because they can work from whatever location they visit, so long a half-decent Internet connection is available. These people often post photos of their open laptops facing a pristine beach, a patch of forest, or a cosy wooden deck and swimming pool. Again, one needs specific "portable" skills to engage in this lifestyle and, even then, they may end up burning most of the day working and having little time for leisure travelling and adventures. I wouldn't call these people free spirits per se, just people who chose a variety of backdrops for their working days, instead of a single, boring desk or home office.

I agree with you on peer pressure to conform, especially for adult men like us. Unless they becomes famous, a world authority on this or that culture, with material maybe published on National Geographic and serious money from their sponsors, a all-year traveller is usually labelled as a bum, an immature person who will trade the leisure of travelling to the responsibility of being a productive member of society, a family man, etc. Agreed, certain Asian cultures are more conformist than others and would look down on any man who hasn't given their best shot to getting a great career, a biug house, a fancy car, a pretty wife and a couple of kids.

The recipe to live a free spirited life isn't a one-size-fits-all one, or an easy one. In my case, I ejected myself from the UK and the City life because of an unpleasant personal circumstance, shortly followed by my divorce from my Colombian ex-wife. These were strong triggers. Without those triggers, I would have probably continued with my routine life as an IT professional, bought a bigger house in London on a 25-year mortgage and maybe had a child or two with my ex-wife. Sometimes one is born a free spirit, sometimes one is encouraged to become one after the opportunity of a radical life change.

In your case @Winston, you are in the very privileged position of not having to work to survive, since your family are taking care of you. OK, there's a travel ban in most countries now but, a few years back, what stopped you from travelling extensively within the US (the large spaces you love to visit), South America, those European countries you feel spiritually connected to, maybe the rest of Asia? Oh yes, you mentioned obscure forces keeping you pinned against your home walls. Well, it's up to you how you wriggle out of these forces, but the opportunity is there. Know it.

[publicduende]

Btw @publicduende how is hypermak? What is he doing now? Did you ask him why he doesn't post anymore? Is he working as a chef in Italy now or what?

I haven't heard from him for more than a year now. I guess he is still in his hometown, running his family shops. Maybe he will find another international chef job as soon as the travel ban eases. He did mention he was starting an online delivery business linked to his bakery, so maybe he's still doing that. Not sure.

Btw did you ask your girlfriend if she would prefer a settled down life or an adverturous life like you see on TV? lol

Like most women, she would prefer a settled life with occasional travelling. The Philippines are still wide open for domestic travelling and there are plenty of nice places to spend a weekend or a month in. We are still busy with the condo fitout but we have almost finished. As soon as this is done, we will probably spend a couple of weeks in Boracay or Siargao.

Don't people who work everyday think "Why am I doing this? Being a slave to money just because the system says so, just for a paycheck, because that's what you are supposed to do? It's so boring, even if it's normal. How much longer can I tolerate this?"

Doesn't everyone think that at some point? Some people don't just think it, they cannot tolerate it and cannot stand it after a few months.

Also if you think about it, trading time for money isn't a good trade because time is priceless, money is not.

That's all true, Winston, but there's a dilemma: people need money to survive. Unless they have won the lottery or can dig into family money or a trust fund set up for them, they will need to work, i.e. be slaves for money. It's not because "the system says so", it's because they need to. Like I said in the earlier post, some people are particularly smart to create a lifestyle for themselves, where they can do relatively little work and be paid well, and then spend the rest of their days travelling and exploring. It's quite hard to do, though, especially for jobs like creative writing or design, or software development, where you need to convince your bosses or clients that you can as be productive from a beach in Vietnam as you can be from an office desk in San Francisco.

How did your IT business go? Are you still at it or are you trying to do something else now?

It's going well. I had a very good year last year but I lost my cash cow client earlier last January. I just found another job, in a blockchain startup, and are still managing two projects for another UK startup and a large Philippine client. See, I'd love to spend my day working from a nice resort or beach, or a deck in the forest. Reality is, every time I did it, I ended up spending 10 hours facing my laptop screen anyway and fighting mosquitos.

This is why I don't believe in the digital nomad predicament. They can show off whatever nice photos of their living locales but, in the end, their best bet is to work in their small AirBnb flat or in a noisy Starbucks and hope to have a few hours in the evening, to chill. Like everybody else.

[yick]

Yeah, I never got that 'laptop by the beach' scenario other, I mean ... you work by a beach, so f***ing what

A lot of 'digital nomads' have been hit hard with the Chinese government closing down online service providers specialising in language tutoring... vipkids were paying 25 dollars an hour which is good money to live a nice lifestyle in a lot of countries but these people have lost their income in one fell swoop, which shows the weakness of that kind of life... the instability of it.

[MrMan]

I see a lot of conservatives pushing men to settle down when they are young. It is because they assume a man's life is the same as a woman's life. In my opinion, a women ages like milk, a man ages like wine.

It seems because of a women's biological clock; she has to settle down young. In contrast, to a man who as long as he has some wealth he can keep on getting laid.

Some of us conservatives have different values when it comes to sex. I'm a Christian and I do not believe we should be having sex outside of marriage. Sex has the potential to produce children, and a man should raise his own children. Especially in the western world, the courts can be unlikely to let a man raise his kids. Sleeping around with women defiles them for their future husbands, also. I consider being in right relationship with God to be a higher priority than having sex.

If you look at it from a hedonistic sex-seeking perspective, getting married young to a young wife can lead to lots of sex. It did in my case. If you go around Budapest having mini-relationships, then what happens if you get emotionally attached to the woman, and don't go forward with the relationship? If you end up together, you chose a woman who had low sexual morals.

I am not sure what 'have your own table means.' I've got a table in my kitchen, and strange women don't flock around because I bought it. I'm assuming a reserved table with drinks in a club, I'm not sure the mechanics of getting women to sit at the table in such places. But my guess is whatever the scenario, it is unlikely to draw the highest quality women? Does it draw women who want free drinks?

Health-wise, sleeping with a bunch of women who have each slept with dozens of men who themselves have slept with dozens of women potentially exposes you to STDs from hundreds or thousands of people. There are more STDs than AIDs, herpes, and the few we know about that I don't care to look up the spelling for at the moment. There are some that are spread by areas not covered by condoms.

And if you live like this, again from a hedonistic perspective, you probably have to wear condoms. Sex with a condom is like 20% of sex without one. I've probably had sex with condoms less than a dozen times, though. it wasn't nearly as fun. My wife didn't like them either, so it quickly became a nonissue. Sex is more emotional with someone you care about. And if she got pregnant, we were cool with having another kid. When my wife and I first got married, I was getting sexual release just about every day/night except on some occasions when we had health issues or sometimes when we were traveling and didn't have privacy. I didn't have to chat up some new stranger. I could go home, pick her up, take her to the bedroom...and it's on. Sometimes she'd want to wait though, because she was cooking dinner for me, which is cool, too. How many bar pickup girls do that? Then we'd go at it after dinner. We had over two solid years at that pace. She had to heal up after the first baby.

If you do want to have kids in life, then there are advantages to having them young. I had my first one around the time I turned 30, and had other kids throughout my 30's. 30's fine for having a kid, but I'd probably have had even more energy to raise them and spend time with them if I were younger. And you could get them out of the nest sooner and enjoy your grandkids, great-grandkids, etc. as a younger person if you have them younger.

[Archibault]

I see a lot of conservatives pushing men to settle down when they are young. It is because they assume a man's life is the same as a woman's life. In my opinion, a women ages like milk, a man ages like wine.

It seems because of a women's biological clock; she has to settle down young. In contrast, to a man who as long as he has some wealth he can keep on getting laid.

Some of us conservatives have different values when it comes to sex. I'm a Christian and I do not believe we should be having sex outside of marriage. Sex has the potential to produce children, and a man should raise his own children. Especially in the western world, the courts can be unlikely to let a man raise his kids. Sleeping around with women defiles them for their future husbands, also. I consider being in right relationship with God to be a higher priority than having sex.

If you look at it from a hedonistic sex-seeking perspective, getting married young to a young wife can lead to lots of sex. It did in my case. If you go around Budapest having mini-relationships, then what happens if you get emotionally attached to the woman, and don't go forward with the relationship? If you end up together, you chose a woman who had low sexual morals.

I am not sure what 'have your own table means.' I've got a table in my kitchen, and strange women don't flock around because I bought it. I'm assuming a reserved table with drinks in a club, I'm not sure the mechanics of getting women to sit at the table in such places. But my guess is whatever the scenario, it is unlikely to draw the highest quality women? Does it draw women who want free drinks?

Health-wise, sleeping with a bunch of women who have each slept with dozens of men who themselves have slept with dozens of women potentially exposes you to STDs from hundreds or thousands of people. There are more STDs than AIDs, herpes, and the few we know about that I don't care to look up the spelling for at the moment. There are some that are spread by areas not covered by condoms.

And if you live like this, again from a hedonistic perspective, you probably have to wear condoms. Sex with a condom is like 20% of sex without one. I've probably had sex with condoms less than a dozen times, though. it wasn't nearly as fun. My wife didn't like them either, so it quickly became a nonissue. Sex is more emotional with someone you care about. And if she got pregnant, we were cool with having another kid. When my wife and I first got married, I was getting sexual release just about every day/night except on some occasions when we had health issues or sometimes when we were traveling and didn't have privacy. I didn't have to chat up some new stranger. I could go home, pick her up, take her to the bedroom...and it's on. Sometimes she'd want to wait though, because she was cooking dinner for me, which is cool, too. How many bar pickup girls do that? Then we'd go at it after dinner. We had over two solid years at that pace. She had to heal up after the first baby.

If you do want to have kids in life, then there are advantages to having them young. I had my first one around the time I turned 30, and had other kids throughout my 30's. 30's fine for having a kid, but I'd probably have had even more energy to raise them and spend time with them if I were younger. And you could get them out of the nest sooner and enjoy your grandkids, great-grandkids, etc. as a younger person if you have them younger.

I'm an atheist, and I have different values. I wouldn't want to have a wife nor move to the suburbs; I see it as extremely boring. Again, I don't think that there's point in arguing with people who have different values. Most people already make up their mind which is hard to change.

Having sex with the same women gets boring fast. Also, I have seen many long term couples and they all seem to suffer from "dead bedrooms." Imagine having to stand the same person for a long time, and then they don't even want to have sex after a while. This situation is made worst if you live in the suburbs or an isolated area. No wonder people in Western countries feel very lonely.

If I need someone to clean my house, professional cleaners at an affordable price will do the job that I want them to do. If I need food, I can easily order food online or prepare it myself. Instead, of having someone else do it for me.

I'm happy though, those guys who don't want to pursue this conservative path get the chance to do so due to sexual liberalism. Condoms can work for other people and me, especially if you weren't circumcised due to religious reasons. Having sex without condoms can also be a dirty experience and not enjoyable even with your GF or long-term partner.

I don't care about children. I have seen other people's children grow up to be the opposite of what their parents want. Children seem to be more a financial and emotional burden than an actual advantage.

[MrMan]

I'm an atheist, and I have different values. I wouldn't want to have a wife nor move to the suburbs; I see it as extremely boring. Again, I don't think that there's point in arguing with people who have different values. Most people already make up their mind which is hard to change.

I appreciate the fact that you didn't start throwing insults. One of the posters who seems to have been inactive for a while here advocates MGTOW, and if people disagree, he's hurled insults at them. I saw that on comments on MGTOW videos. I'm not sure if you identify as MGTOW or think of yourself as just a PUA and MGTOWs as lonely guys sitting at home alone with their dogs.

I've spent a lot of my adult life in cities. I've spent a little time in suburbs, a few years as a teen and a year or so as an adult. Now I live in a subdivision in a town near another city that might not be big enough for this area to qualify as 'the suburbs', so I am not sure. When I was young, being able to go around to big active places, outdoor markets, all kinds of restaurants, etc. in a large Asian city was appealing. Now, I'm middle aged. I don't want to be out of the house constantly. Life can be interesting in a city or in the suburbs if you have interesting people to share it with and interesting activities to do. I still would prefer not to live somewhere too rural. I wouldn't mind having a little farm or something if it weren't too rural and there were a city less than an hour away.

Having sex with the same women gets boring fast. Also, I have seen many long term couples and they all seem to suffer from "dead bedrooms." Imagine having to stand the same person for a long time, and then they don't even want to have sex after a while. This situation is made worst if you live in the suburbs or an isolated area. No wonder people in Western countries feel very lonely.

Viewer discretion is advised for younger viewers....

I didn't believe in premarital sex as a young man, so I married one woman and had sex with her since. I suppose starting out it was more exciting. But I also value a steady supply of sex. I'm wondering if PUAs really have that much sex in terms of quantity. If you pick up a girl and sleep with her on Friday, got another girl on Saturday, then Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, no sex, you might enjoy the variety, but there is no sex all those days of the week. And for me, when I started having sex in my 20's, going a long stretch without seemed like a pretty big deal. I could handle a longer duration new that I'm getting closer to 50. And if you are sleeping around every night of the week, there are lots of diseases you are exposing yourself to. And you might have some kid out there that's yours that you aren't raising. She doesn't know for sure that it is yours because she might have had sex with three or four guys that week.

I'm also particular about looks. It seems like some of the PUAs will hit on the really pretty girls, but also so-so girls, maybe one with a nice body but not so pretty face, or a nice face, but a stout or kind of fat-hulk like frame. I married one woman and slept with her, but I chose someone I really found attractive, physically, and emotionally. Also, in marriage you can get a deep connection with one person who you love and who loves you.

Also, there is the sloppy seconds issue. If you pick up a girl on Saturday night, she may still have another guy's genetic fluids from Friday night. I used to teach English overseas, and on my first gig over there, one of our discussion questions was who students wanted to marry. The audience was part single part married. One guy, already married actually, said he didn't want a 'second hand woman.' I laughed. It turns out that's an expression in Indonesian. Some men think of a woman they want to test drive. But if we have to use a crude analogy, I don't want to share a toothbrush with another guy.

>>>If I need someone to clean my house, professional cleaners at an affordable price will do the job that I want them to do. If I need food, I can easily order food online or prepare it myself. Instead, of having someone else do it for me.<<<

Sure, you can hire someone to bring you food. You could hire a maid. There are a million other things that a wife might do that doesn't fall into these normal services. None of them alone are a decisive factor to get married, but they are added benefits. I'm not going to hire someone to hang a decoration or put the extra touches on a meal if I invite my parents over.

If you think of us as a species and what is good for us, marriage is better for the species and society. The kids getting raised by two parents is better. Children raised in fatherless homes have the statistics against them in terms of crime, drug use, grades, and lots of other risk factors. Modern birth control methods are fairly recent, but I've heard condoms are about 92% effective. They can break or slip off (whichever one is more frequent probably depends on the man.) Also, wearing a condom kind of makes it hard to go straight through to 'round 2', or maybe you can, but it kind of defeats the purpose of using it.

I'm happy though, those guys who don't want to pursue this conservative path get the chance to do so due to sexual liberalism. Condoms can work for other people and me, especially if you weren't circumcised due to religious reasons. Having sex without condoms can also be a dirty experience and not enjoyable even with your GF or long-term partner.

Sex without a condom a dirty experience? That's needs some kind of wise crack response, but I can't choose the right one, so I'll through out a few of them.

Dirty experience? Are you sleeping with mud wrestlers?
Dirty experience? See, I told you sleeping around was could lead to STDs? Are we talking pus and scabs or what?
Dirty experience? I stay away from that period sex stuff.

I don't care about children. I have seen other people's children grow up to be the opposite of what their parents want. Children seem to be more a financial and emotional burden than an actual advantage.

I am guessing you are kind of young. I don't care much for Jordan Peterson's Jungian philosophy and some of his other ideas, but he does have a lot of good sense. He's a psychologist who is outspoken against the extreme left and very popular on YouTube. In this video, he really gives a good explanation about the advantages of experiencing having children, and grandchildren for that matter:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QR4aQBUIGqE

[Archibault]

I'm an atheist, and I have different values. I wouldn't want to have a wife nor move to the suburbs; I see it as extremely boring. Again, I don't think that there's point in arguing with people who have different values. Most people already make up their mind which is hard to change.

I appreciate the fact that you didn't start throwing insults. One of the posters who seems to have been inactive for a while here advocates MGTOW, and if people disagree, he's hurled insults at them. I saw that on comments on MGTOW videos. I'm not sure if you identify as MGTOW or think of yourself as just a PUA and MGTOWs as lonely guys sitting at home alone with their dogs.

I've spent a lot of my adult life in cities. I've spent a little time in suburbs, a few years as a teen and a year or so as an adult. Now I live in a subdivision in a town near another city that might not be big enough for this area to qualify as 'the suburbs', so I am not sure. When I was young, being able to go around to big active places, outdoor markets, all kinds of restaurants, etc. in a large Asian city was appealing. Now, I'm middle aged. I don't want to be out of the house constantly. Life can be interesting in a city or in the suburbs if you have interesting people to share it with and interesting activities to do. I still would prefer not to live somewhere too rural. I wouldn't mind having a little farm or something if it weren't too rural and there were a city less than an hour away.

Having sex with the same women gets boring fast. Also, I have seen many long term couples and they all seem to suffer from "dead bedrooms." Imagine having to stand the same person for a long time, and then they don't even want to have sex after a while. This situation is made worst if you live in the suburbs or an isolated area. No wonder people in Western countries feel very lonely.

Viewer discretion is advised for younger viewers....

I didn't believe in premarital sex as a young man, so I married one woman and had sex with her since. I suppose starting out it was more exciting. But I also value a steady supply of sex. I'm wondering if PUAs really have that much sex in terms of quantity. If you pick up a girl and sleep with her on Friday, got another girl on Saturday, then Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, no sex, you might enjoy the variety, but there is no sex all those days of the week. And for me, when I started having sex in my 20's, going a long stretch without seemed like a pretty big deal. I could handle a longer duration new that I'm getting closer to 50. And if you are sleeping around every night of the week, there are lots of diseases you are exposing yourself to. And you might have some kid out there that's yours that you aren't raising. She doesn't know for sure that it is yours because she might have had sex with three or four guys that week.

I'm also particular about looks. It seems like some of the PUAs will hit on the really pretty girls, but also so-so girls, maybe one with a nice body but not so pretty face, or a nice face, but a stout or kind of fat-hulk like frame. I married one woman and slept with her, but I chose someone I really found attractive, physically, and emotionally. Also, in marriage you can get a deep connection with one person who you love and who loves you.

Also, there is the sloppy seconds issue. If you pick up a girl on Saturday night, she may still have another guy's genetic fluids from Friday night. I used to teach English overseas, and on my first gig over there, one of our discussion questions was who students wanted to marry. The audience was part single part married. One guy, already married actually, said he didn't want a 'second hand woman.' I laughed. It turns out that's an expression in Indonesian. Some men think of a woman they want to test drive. But if we have to use a crude analogy, I don't want to share a toothbrush with another guy.

>>>If I need someone to clean my house, professional cleaners at an affordable price will do the job that I want them to do. If I need food, I can easily order food online or prepare it myself. Instead, of having someone else do it for me.<<<

Sure, you can hire someone to bring you food. You could hire a maid. There are a million other things that a wife might do that doesn't fall into these normal services. None of them alone are a decisive factor to get married, but they are added benefits. I'm not going to hire someone to hang a decoration or put the extra touches on a meal if I invite my parents over.

If you think of us as a species and what is good for us, marriage is better for the species and society. The kids getting raised by two parents is better. Children raised in fatherless homes have the statistics against them in terms of crime, drug use, grades, and lots of other risk factors. Modern birth control methods are fairly recent, but I've heard condoms are about 92% effective. They can break or slip off (whichever one is more frequent probably depends on the man.) Also, wearing a condom kind of makes it hard to go straight through to 'round 2', or maybe you can, but it kind of defeats the purpose of using it.

I'm happy though, those guys who don't want to pursue this conservative path get the chance to do so due to sexual liberalism. Condoms can work for other people and me, especially if you weren't circumcised due to religious reasons. Having sex without condoms can also be a dirty experience and not enjoyable even with your GF or long-term partner.

Sex without a condom a dirty experience? That's needs some kind of wise crack response, but I can't choose the right one, so I'll through out a few of them.

Dirty experience? Are you sleeping with mud wrestlers?
Dirty experience? See, I told you sleeping around was could lead to STDs? Are we talking pus and scabs or what?
Dirty experience? I stay away from that period sex stuff.

I don't care about children. I have seen other people's children grow up to be the opposite of what their parents want. Children seem to be more a financial and emotional burden than an actual advantage.

I am guessing you are kind of young. I don't care much for Jordan Peterson's Jungian philosophy and some of his other ideas, but he does have a lot of good sense. He's a psychologist who is outspoken against the extreme left and very popular on YouTube. In this video, he really gives a good explanation about the advantages of experiencing having children, and grandchildren for that matter:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QR4aQBUIGqE

As I stated above, I respect your decision to live your life however, you want. I do plan on doing the same. There's generally no point in having long conversations about this topic. Like you've said, I've encounter people who get very intense with this kinds of discussion and start throwing insults..etc. I have a live and let life Philosophy of life.

[Archibault]

I don't care about children. I have seen other people's children grow up to be the opposite of what their parents want. Children seem to be more a financial and emotional burden than an actual advantage.

Best thing I ever did, having a family. But I have to admit, I got a lot less girls after marriage, lol. And you're right... sex with one partner for a lifetimes does get dull. I don't advise any man to get married and not have at least a mistress or two and get some variety every once in a while. Variety is the spice of life. Still... I resent the notion one could not have his cake and eat it, too. We only live once. Why not have ALL the joys life has to offer?

I would be open to having children in the future. But I would not be open to having a "nagging" wife who bosses me around. Like you said, many mistresses and having a fun life would be welcome. You'll be surprised that "nagging wife" types are very common, particularly in Western Countries. I had a friend from the UK who stopped hanging out with friends or even stopped working on projects(we used to do music together) since his wife didn't want to. It seems that whole "western monogamy" is a way to trap many guys. That's why I don't idealize the past since I see that many men were stuck with their wives. Pair Western monogamy+Anglo feminism and you got a recipe for disaster for the average man where everything is the man's fault.

[MrMan]

I would be open to having children in the future. But I would not be open to having a "nagging" wife who bosses me around. Like you said, many mistresses and having a fun life would be welcome. You'll be surprised that "nagging wife" types are very common, particularly in Western Countries. I had a friend from the UK who stopped hanging out with friends or even stopped working on projects(we used to do music together) since his wife didn't want to. It seems that whole "western monogamy" is a way to trap many guys. That's why I don't idealize the past since I see that many men were stuck with their wives. Pair Western monogamy+Anglo feminism and you got a recipe for disaster for the average man where everything is the man's fault.

A nagging wife scenario would be torture. I married a woman from Indonesia. But even so, being Asian doesn't make a woman automatically submissive or docile. I have to call her out on it if she does or say something that feels disrespectful to me. You have to set boundaries early on so she doesn't nag, domineer, or whatever, and if you don't it's harder, but you have to set them later.

My wife and I have common values from our faith. So she knows she is supposed to respect me and submit to me. It helps to have that as common ground. I would imagine it would be rough to have a loud, Anglo, feminist, atheist wife with little or no common ground on what marriage is supposed to be like.

Generally, purchases for the household need to go through me unless they are routine. I wouldn't want her bugging me about buying bread at the supermarket. But she wants to buy a new desk for one of the rooms, so she asked me. Stuff like that. You've got to set up the way you want things run in the household.