Why are Asians & Middle Class people so Cliquish, Closed, Rigid, and Judgmental?

[Winston]

Have you guys noticed that Asians are even more cliquish than Americans? They take it to the extreme. Even Asian Americans are very cliquish. You see this in the US too. It's as if cliquishness is in their blood or soul. Very weird. I've never been cliquish so I've never understood it. So I am not like other Asians at all. I hate how Asians never make eye contact with others in public. It's so cold and depressing to see that.

This also appears to be a middle class thing. Even in the Philippines, the middle class people in the malls there who have money and don't need a foreigner to buy them anything, look unapproachable and in their own bubble, like they want their privacy and don't want to talk to anyone. If you talk to them it feels like an invasion of their privacy, you can sense it would be like "violating their boundary". Have any of you noticed this too?

Why is that? Why are middle class people so cliquish and closed off to strangers? Even though my family is upper middle class from the SF Bay Area, I've never been that way, but everyone else is. Especially middle class and upper middle class. Why? Why do they all act the same? Why can't they deviate from the norm or hive mind? I almost never see a middle class person who is open and approachable and doesn't have that ice wall around them. Middle class women especially have that wall around them and that cliquish vibe that says "don't talk to strangers unless it's business-related, mind your own business".

Middle class people also seem very closed, rigid, judgmental and set in their ways. They are quick to judge others and act spoiled with a bad attitude, especially middle class girls. Only older people are down to earth. They also act very closed and insular and look like they don't wanna be bothered. Only middle class people who are heavy into New Age spirituality or UFO/Bigfoot/Paranormal stuff are more friendly and open. Or those who are devout Christians or involved in a cult too. Or those who are hippie and counterculture too of course.

Everyone is like the Borg. So why didn't Captain Picard's crew join the Borg and assimilate since they already were like the Borg anyway in that they all have the same beliefs and attitudes? lol. It would have made no difference. So why do people assume they are not the Borg when they clearly are and no one deviates from the norm or thinks independently? lol

Maybe I belong in Latin America or something? Some people say I would fit in there.

[Gali]

To be succesful in this case it means keeping your status is not an easy thing. You have to shut off things that distracts you and allow things that helps you keeping your status.

People do not want to be poor and lose status.

In Latin Amerika the crime rate is quite high. There is a cost for having fun.

[Winston]

So middle class people are obsessed with status and image? Why? Why can't they be freespirits? The New Age ones try to be.

How come poor people are more open and carefree? Because they have less attachments and need money from others?

Don't middle class people ever get lonely? Or do they all have social cliques and need no one else? Why?

[Gali]

So middle class people are obsessed with status and image? Why? Why can't they be freespirits? The New Age ones try to be.

How come poor people are more open and carefree? Because they have less attachments and need money from others?

Don't middle class people ever get lonely? Or do they all have social cliques and need no one else? Why?

It is about survival and reproduction

If your are poor your chances to survive is smaller. Same for your children.
Plus your children might become a wage slaves with no alternatives. Middle class people have alternatives if shit hits the fan.

The thing is you have still some kind of middle class mentality. You are not very care free but you do not want to be friends with poor people. You want to talk about pseudo intellectual stuff all the time. The reason might be that you want to keep up with the middle class with your interests. So you do not want to lose your status as an 'intellectual'. Losing status threatens survival.

Lower status people are not always fun. You do not want to experience tribal craziness.

[Winston]

Not true. I am friends with many poor Filipinas. They are sweet and warm and I love their personality and sweetness. But I don't understand why I am limited to only poor people or other misfits for friends? Why not normal middle class people? Why are middle class stuck up and judgmental and not open or approachable, but all about privacy? Don't they ever get lonely? Do they have tons of friends? If so, how did they get them since they do not even talk to strangers? Seems like a paradox. What am I missing?

I can talk about anything, not just intellectual stuff. WIth Filipinas I talk about simple stuff, not intellectual stuff. I am very versatile and can even talk to kids about kid stuff like toys. You forget that.

Plus in the US and UK there are many New Agers and paranormal buffs who like talking about same stuff as me. They are mostly middle class. So not all middle class dislike deep topics. Some like them. Paranormal and ghost movies and movies about aliens are very popular in mainstream culture. The movie "The Matrix" is very popular too and part of pop culture. Middle class people watch it too. So I don't get your point.

Many of us here in this forum are middle class too, just misfits for some reason.

[Gali]

You are not friends with Filippinas. You have a transactional relationship. That is why you do not have friendships with poor Filippinos because they can not give you stuff you want.

Sure many people can talk simple stuff but do not enjoy it at one point. Then they use their time with their priorities. With you it is pseudo intellectual stuff. That is why you get still some acknowledgement from middle class because low class people have not the capacity for that kind of thing.

It is a bit like being an artist you still have some status and get some acceptance from middle class. That is why it is rewarding to you to do it.

But you still think a lot about to be accepted by the middle class because that is higher on the maslovs pyramid of needs.

We naturally want to get better in life.

In the end of the day if you are an educated person you do not want to spend much time with uneducated people who do not understand basic language.

Being middle class is not only about money. It is about higher culture and discipline, work ethic. It is like having a computer with a better OS. In general you will not be compatible with lower OS.

[yick]

Maybe I belong in Latin America or something? Some people say I would fit in there.

If you can survive and thrive in Angeles City then you will be just fine in most of Latin America. It's similar (apparently, I have never been to the Philippines...)

[kangarunner]

Have you guys noticed that Asians are even more cliquish than Americans? They take it to the extreme. Even Asian Americans are very cliquish. You see this in the US too. It's as if cliquishness is in their blood or soul. Very weird. I've never been cliquish so I've never understood it. So I am not like other Asians at all. I hate how Asians never make eye contact with others in public. It's so cold and depressing to see that.

HAHAHAHA....you're a funny guy sometimes Winston. I wish you could come here to Vietnam so we can go out and meet some Vietnamese people and you'll see they are friendly. Or I can film a video of myself during the daytime making conversation with Vietnamese people on the street and picking up some girls Zalo numbers. I think most people tend to form cliques to a certain extent...it's just natural.

[Winston]

You are not friends with Filippinas. You have a transactional relationship. That is why you do not have friendships with poor Filippinos because they can not give you stuff you want.

Sure many people can talk simple stuff but do not enjoy it at one point. Then they use their time with their priorities. With you it is pseudo intellectual stuff. That is why you get still some acknowledgement from middle class because low class people have not the capacity for that kind of thing.

It is a bit like being an artist you still have some status and get some acceptance from middle class. That is why it is rewarding to you to do it.

But you still think a lot about to be accepted by the middle class because that is higher on the maslovs pyramid of needs.

We naturally want to get better in life.

In the end of the day if you are an educated person you do not want to spend much time with uneducated people who do not understand basic language.

Being middle class is not only about money. It is about higher culture and discipline, work ethic. It is like having a computer with a better OS. In general you will not be compatible with lower OS.

For the most part, yes that's true. But there are Filipinas I'm friends with that I do not ever send money to. You forget that. I do not only have bargirl friends. Some of them are not whores, but normal girls. Don't overgeneralize. I do know some Filipinas that like me for me and feel comfortable around me. Either way, the interaction with them feels natural, not forced or awkward or against the grain. If the energy is good, that's the most important thing.

Also keep in mind that during the first 8 months of our relationship, I didn't give DIanne any money except for transportation. No allowance. So our relationship was not purely transactional. The law of averages say that if you meet a lot of people eventually some of them will like you for you.

But you see, middle class people are also closed to other middle class people on the same level, even if they are similar types. They aren't open to strangers even if the strangers look like them and have similar interests or jobs as them. Because they are cliquish in nature. How do you explain that?

Middle class Filipinos told me that middle class Filipinos do not talk to other middle class Filipinos unless introduced by a mutual friend. Even on this forum they have said that. We had some middle class Filipino posters here before. So it's not personal.

[Winston]

Have you guys noticed that Asians are even more cliquish than Americans? They take it to the extreme. Even Asian Americans are very cliquish. You see this in the US too. It's as if cliquishness is in their blood or soul. Very weird. I've never been cliquish so I've never understood it. So I am not like other Asians at all. I hate how Asians never make eye contact with others in public. It's so cold and depressing to see that.

HAHAHAHA....you're a funny guy sometimes Winston. I wish you could come here to Vietnam so we can go out and meet some Vietnamese people and you'll see they are friendly. Or I can film a video of myself during the daytime making conversation with Vietnamese people on the street and picking up some girls Zalo numbers. I think most people tend to form cliques to a certain extent...it's just natural.

I wish. Is Vietnam open yet? Didn't you say that Vietnamese were cliquish too? The ones I see in the US are too, but they are a bit more open than Chinese or Taiwanese. Asians are cliquish by nature it seems. It's not just their culture, it seems to be in their blood too.

[Gali]

You are not friends with Filippinas. You have a transactional relationship. That is why you do not have friendships with poor Filippinos because they can not give you stuff you want.

Sure many people can talk simple stuff but do not enjoy it at one point. Then they use their time with their priorities. With you it is pseudo intellectual stuff. That is why you get still some acknowledgement from middle class because low class people have not the capacity for that kind of thing.

It is a bit like being an artist you still have some status and get some acceptance from middle class. That is why it is rewarding to you to do it.

But you still think a lot about to be accepted by the middle class because that is higher on the maslovs pyramid of needs.

We naturally want to get better in life.

In the end of the day if you are an educated person you do not want to spend much time with uneducated people who do not understand basic language.

Being middle class is not only about money. It is about higher culture and discipline, work ethic. It is like having a computer with a better OS. In general you will not be compatible with lower OS.

For the most part, yes that's true. But there are Filipinas I'm friends with that I do not ever send money to. You forget that. I do not only have bargirl friends. Some of them are not whores, but normal girls. Don't overgeneralize. I do know some Filipinas that like me for me and feel comfortable around me. Either way, the interaction with them feels natural, not forced or awkward or against the grain. If the energy is good, that's the most important thing.

Also keep in mind that during the first 8 months of our relationship, I didn't give DIanne any money except for transportation. No allowance. So our relationship was not purely transactional. The law of averages say that if you meet a lot of people eventually some of them will like you for you.

But you see, middle class people are also closed to other middle class people on the same level, even if they are similar types. They aren't open to strangers even if the strangers look like them and have similar interests or jobs as them. Because they are cliquish in nature. How do you explain that?

Middle class Filipinos told me that middle class Filipinos do not talk to other middle class Filipinos unless introduced by a mutual friend. Even on this forum they have said that. We had some middle class Filipino posters here before. So it's not personal.

The point is you do not have male lower class Filipino friends for a reason but you do not care about it you want middle class Filippino friends.

Maybe, middle class families have to give up on fun and distractions to concentrate on keeping their life in order and to beat competition. They have no time for distractions even if they are middle class. They have goals that they want to reach. Mostly they have already vouched friends they do not want to waste time with strangers even if they are middle class.

Some lower class families are nice to higher classes to get access.

[Gali]

Maybe I belong in Latin America or something? Some people say I would fit in there.

If you can survive and thrive in Angeles City then you will be just fine in most of Latin America. It's similar (apparently, I have never been to the Philippines...)

What are the most dangerous places in the world? (1990-2017)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53clMMQ-jJs

[Winston]

How would you know that Gali? I am open to having lower class male Filipino friends. But they do not try to befriend me. If I met one that I had stuff in common with and wasn't trying to use me, I would be glad to be friends with him. However, no western expat makes friends with Filipino men for some reason. They just don't click or something and don't even try to. I don't know why. Maybe they don't trust each other. Usually western expats only deal with Filipino men if they have some type of business relationship or worker/employer relationship. Again lower class male Filipinos do not even try to befriend me or talk to me. I did have a few Filipino male friends long ago, but they moved away to Manila for business or lost interest.

[Winston]

Btw guys, such as Guhji. This isn't just about me. Middle class people in general are closed and cliquish, even to others of their own kind. Even if the others look good or dress good. It's their DEFAULT disposition and has nothing to do with me. They carry that disposition everywhere they go around them. It's in their body language and aura. Has nothing to do with me and is not personal. It's their DEFAULT disposition and we can all see that if we observe them in public. My question is: Why? Is it because they are all business and paranoid of strangers? If so, why? Why can't they be open?

So stop trying to shame me Guhji and spin the blame on me to try to bring me down. That's toxic and overly judgmental and misses the main point of my question.

Btw, it's not just strangers. I also notice that middle class girls whose parents are friends of my parents also act cold and distant toward me, with no interest. They aren't going to be friendly to me just because they know who I am or because our parents are friends. So again, WHY? Why are they so cold? Even if their parents are friends with mine?

However, I notice that this only applies to middle class Asian girls from Taiwan or Hong Kong. The ones that are mainland Chinese are usually a lot more friendly and sociable to me if they know me or their parents have connections with mine. So there is a difference between mainland Chinese and Taiwanese/HK. Why is that?

[Gali]

How would you know that Gali? I am open to having lower class male Filipino friends. But they do not try to befriend me. If I met one that I had stuff in common with and wasn't trying to use me, I would be glad to be friends with him. However, no western expat makes friends with Filipino men for some reason. They just don't click or something and don't even try to. I don't know why. Maybe they don't trust each other. Usually western expats only deal with Filipino men if they have some type of business relationship or worker/employer relationship. Again lower class male Filipinos do not even try to befriend me or talk to me. I did have a few Filipino male friends long ago, but they moved away to Manila for business or lost interest.

Maybe you do want to have male low class Filipino friends as much as you want to lose weight but you do not put in the work to get there.

For example why did you not do a big google research about how to get friends from lower classes. Or search why it is difficult to do it. I think you did not do it because you do not care much.

On the other hand you put more effort to find out how to get middle class friends. Though still you do not put that much effort into it besides complaining. You could make a good research and come with your finding but you chose the low effort complaining method.

Here is again Spiral Dynamics model of green people and where to find them to make friends.
viewtopic.php?f=1&t=43956
https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/ ... en-people/

Btw

I am 100% Mexican and I can confirm eventhough you don't have to be rich to have that mentality, I know some people who are as poor as me if not worst and they put themselves very high in the social ladder, treating others who work hard earning slighty less or maybe even the same as them as if they were trash. Although not all most latinos are like that and trust me I know I see it a lot with in my own family everyone puts everyone down for the slightest differences that they might have. And like I said earlier although not all but most latinos hate to see other latinos have more success than themselves.

https://www.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comm ... f_you_are/