Why are so many guys here obsessed with cold approaching random women?

[Outcast9428]

I hear people here often complain that they can't approach random girls out in public. Worrying about being called a creep or being charged with sexual harassment.

First of all, I believe that fear is unfounded. When I was in college, which wasn't that long ago, I only graduated in 2020. Well during 2016-2018 which was in the MeToo era, I approached a lot of random girls on my campus. I would go up to girls in class, at the pool, at the dining halls, in the gym, at parties, at concerts, even just random girls walking by on the sidewalk. I went through a phase where I was literally talking to everybody. I probably approached about 200 girls during this time period if I had to make a guess.

But eventually I stopped doing it, not because I was put in handcuffs and sent to jail for sexual harassment or called a creep by girls. I stopped doing it because it was completely pointless. At best, I got phone numbers from girls who never responded to me. Running around campus talking to all these girls helped create a lot of familiar faces in my mind going around campus for the years afterward but didn't really accomplish anything more then that.

The reason why its pointless is because that's just not how you meet girls. It doesn't matter whether its socially accepted or not, you're never going to be successful if you rely on cold approaching as your primary method of meeting girls because that's just not how its done and people have never really done it that way. I think once in a blue moon you might find success that way, but as a rule its an extremely inefficient method of meeting girls no matter how socially accepted it is.

The reason being that no girl walking around in a public place is in the mindset of finding a boyfriend. Not only that, but she may be pressed for time and not really have the time to talk to you. Not only that, but you are not applying any kind of selection whatsoever. The girl you're talking to might be married with three kids for all you know. Trying to meet girls through cold approach is like wandering into a pitch dark room and trying to find a small, green post it note among dozens of other post it notes scattered around the room.

Instead of complaining about sexual harassment laws or whether you're gonna get MeToo'd or not. We should talk about the real method of meeting girls that was successful for thousands of years but in recent years has largely vanished as a way of meeting girls. That is, being setup through friends, co-workers, and family. This method has all the ingredients of successfully finding a relationship. You don't have the anxiety of approaching a girl, you don't have to worry about whether she's busy or not, you don't have to worry about whether she has a boyfriend or not, and you can ask people you know if they know somebody who fits specifically into your type. This way you know you are meeting a girl who is single, wants to meet you, probably is something along the lines of what you're looking for in a girl, and on top of that you don't have to deal with the awkwardness of trying to pickup a girl, arrange a date or whatever.

Before 2010, meeting through friends, family, or co-workers was the most common method that people used to meet their girlfriend. Nowadays, however, people have become increasingly reluctant to do that for their friends. Finding a romantic partner is seen as a completely individual task that you're supposed to do on your own, whether its by finding a girl in a bar/nightclub or what's even more common nowadays which is finding them on a dating app. But dating apps are notoriously terrible and crush the self-esteem of men using them while women who use them end up being corrupted by its influence, exposing themselves to literally hundreds or even thousands of men trying to get into their pants every day.

Dating apps have done more damage to relationships then anything else in our time period. The rise of dating apps has coincided closely with a staggering increase of male sexlessness. Dating apps are not the solution to this mess. The solution to this mess is that we need to start understanding that romantic relationships are not purely an individual pursuit and that a big part of being a good friend is trying to find them dates, a big part of being a good parent is finding your own sons and daughters a good marital partner. I don't know how this philosophy can start spreading again but until it does, the dating nightmare which is modern day America is going to continue.

[Mercury]

I hear people here often complain that they can't approach random girls out in public. Worrying about being called a creep or being charged with sexual harassment.

It's illegal under Federal law now to approach a woman. It's actually now a criminal offense that is known as statutory stalking which is a Federal felony, investigated by the FBI, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, and punishable by three hundred (300) years to life in prison and/or the death penalty. http://patch.com/florida/fort-myers/amp ... ut-on-date

[MrMan]

I hear people here often complain that they can't approach random girls out in public. Worrying about being called a creep or being charged with sexual harassment.

It's illegal under Federal law now to approach a woman. It's actually now a criminal offense that is known as statutory stalking which is a Federal felony, investigated by the FBI, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, and punishable by three hundred (300) years to life in prison and/or the death penalty. http://patch.com/florida/fort-myers/amp ... ut-on-date

Do you enjoy making up dating dystopian stories? Did you make that page?

Do you think this is funny, or do you really believe this?

[MrMan]

Instead of complaining about sexual harassment laws or whether you're gonna get MeToo'd or not. We should talk about the real method of meeting girls that was successful for thousands of years but in recent years has largely vanished as a way of meeting girls. That is, being setup through friends, co-workers, and family. This method has all the ingredients of successfully finding a relationship. You don't have the anxiety of approaching a girl, you don't have to worry about whether she's busy or not, you don't have to worry about whether she has a boyfriend or not, and you can ask people you know if they know somebody who fits specifically into your type. This way you know you are meeting a girl who is single, wants to meet you, probably is something along the lines of what you're looking for in a girl, and on top of that you don't have to deal with the awkwardness of trying to pickup a girl, arrange a date or whatever.

Cold approaching might work for a man the girls consider to be very good looking or maybe a man who is just extremely charmly and not bad looking. Meeting people through social activities, work, or through friends or relatives is more likely to lead to something.

But if you tell someone your type has a 9 or 10 face... okay, at least an 8.5, but no lower.. a thin waste, 20 to 23 BMI, etc. are they really going to set you up with someone.

[Outcast9428]

Instead of complaining about sexual harassment laws or whether you're gonna get MeToo'd or not. We should talk about the real method of meeting girls that was successful for thousands of years but in recent years has largely vanished as a way of meeting girls. That is, being setup through friends, co-workers, and family. This method has all the ingredients of successfully finding a relationship. You don't have the anxiety of approaching a girl, you don't have to worry about whether she's busy or not, you don't have to worry about whether she has a boyfriend or not, and you can ask people you know if they know somebody who fits specifically into your type. This way you know you are meeting a girl who is single, wants to meet you, probably is something along the lines of what you're looking for in a girl, and on top of that you don't have to deal with the awkwardness of trying to pickup a girl, arrange a date or whatever.

Cold approaching might work for a man the girls consider to be very good looking or maybe a man who is just extremely charmly and not bad looking. Meeting people through social activities, work, or through friends or relatives is more likely to lead to something.

But if you tell someone your type has a 9 or 10 face... okay, at least an 8.5, but no lower.. a thin waste, 20 to 23 BMI, etc. are they really going to set you up with someone.

Maybe not if you word it that way lol, but you might have more success if you say you like cute, petite girls. I think if you say "I must have a 9/10" you're bound to fail by virtue of unrealistic standards lol.

@Mercury This stuff is obviously made up nonsense. Nobody is gonna execute you for approaching a girl.

[Winston]

Well if u can't cold approach then how are you supposed to meet people? Unless u are part of a clique or some organized activity where u meet people as part of the function or job. It won't happen naturally.

How come in the movies people meet by cold approach all the time like its something normal or natural? If you can't do that in real life then how do people meet or make friends or find a girlfriend or wife?

In the USA there's no other way to meet people unless you have a social clique which are exclusive in nature.

I met some cool girls in Russia via cold approach. One became my girlfriend for a while. So it does have some value even if there are a lot of flake outs.

A girl i met in China who became my girlfriend for a while also talked to me at McDonald's unexpectedly. So it does happen sometimes like in the movies. Just not so much in the USA.

I've also been spoiled. 4 years in Angeles City and 1 year in Russia where i could cold approach any girl i wanted freely without taboo or restriction. Now i cannot get used to places where thats not allowed anymore. Its like being Superman for a few years and then go back to being a mortal again. No way could u readjust.

[MrMan]

Come to think of it, I met a girl in the park in a city in Korea and dated her for a while. She might have spoken to me first.

I also struck up a conversation with the woman who became my wife on her campus. I wasn't out 'cold approaching', though. I was sitting with one of my wife's classmates. She sat down and asked him a question and we struck up a conversation. She wanted to talk to me, but didn't want to make the first move. I struck up a conversation with her....and to make a long story short, we have been married for over 20 years.

I am not sure if gorls will have interest from 'cold' meetings with really good looking guys only or not, since I cannot really tell if guys are good-looking. When I was in my 20's, my mom helped me out with this issue by telling me I was as good-looking as the brunette on Friends--this is back when she was young I think she was rather good-looking, and if my mom said I was good-looking, it must be true. :lol I did not notice girls going out of their way much to get my attention until I lived in Indonesia. A few of them would do stuff like strike up random conversations, give me a business card, strike up random conversations and ask me to the movies...I just realized I got cold approached some myself. The short-haired apple-shaped girl at the department store made a point of flirting with me when I went there...but had no success. I went to the movies with a group of girls who I just met who I did not find particularly attractive, too. It must have worked on me to that extent. I wasn't going to date any of those girls.

[Tsar]

I hear people here often complain that they can't approach random girls out in public. Worrying about being called a creep or being charged with sexual harassment.

It's illegal under Federal law now to approach a woman. It's actually now a criminal offense that is known as statutory stalking which is a Federal felony, investigated by the FBI, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, and punishable by three hundred (300) years to life in prison and/or the death penalty. http://patch.com/florida/fort-myers/amp ... ut-on-date

Thank you for sharing that link. I now know the platform to write my own Fake News stories! LoL

[Gali]

Same could be said about beggars. People do not like beggars and it is enforced in some places that they do not do it. It is not nice bothering people. Hard to understand if you are a psychopath but it is what it is.

[Yohan]

I hear people here often complain that they can't approach random girls out in public. Worrying about being called a creep or being charged with sexual harassment.

First of all, I believe that fear is unfounded.....

You might say, that fear is somehow exaggerated, but surely not unfounded - you don't know in advance how this unknown woman you approach will react.

If you are in a good position and talk to the wrong girl you might find yourself in big troubles, even 30 years later - check out all these historical claims, where women claim to be sexually harassed 50 years ago and asking for a payout.

Instead of complaining about sexual harassment laws or whether you're gonna get MeToo'd or not. We should talk about the real method of meeting girls that was successful for thousands of years but in recent years has largely vanished as a way of meeting girls.

I don't think, it is wrong to complain about sexual harassment laws or otherwise laws, which considers the man always as guilty and the woman - even in case of serious wrongdoing - as an innocent helpless victim under any circumstances. Such laws should be gender-neutral but are executed very single-sided. Men are often considered as second class citizens, especially straight white men.

About how to meet girls using the real method of meeting, maybe you could give any advice how to do it. I consider the dating scene in Western countries as totally broken, everybody is mistrusting everybody, and most women have already multiple boyfriends.

[Tsar]

Same could be said about beggars. People do not like beggars and it is enforced in some places that they do not do it. It is not nice bothering people. Hard to understand if you are a psychopath but it is what it is.

Hard to understand if you are a psychopath or not a psychopath?

[Yohan]

I hear people here often complain that they can't approach random girls out in public. Worrying about being called a creep or being charged with sexual harassment.

It's illegal under Federal law now to approach a woman. It's actually now a criminal offense that is known as statutory stalking which is a Federal felony, investigated by the FBI, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, and punishable by three hundred (300) years to life in prison and/or the death penalty.

This is exaggerated as always by Mercury.

However it is true that in case you approach an unknown woman for a private talk in Western feminist-friendly countries you can find yourself in serious troubles - looking for a new job a few hours later if you do that at your workplace - facing suddenly her boyfriends and waking up a few days later in a hospital, also you might become a target of scorn by co-workers or neighbors etc. etc.

[Gali]

Same could be said about beggars. People do not like beggars and it is enforced in some places that they do not do it. It is not nice bothering people. Hard to understand if you are a psychopath but it is what it is.

Hard to understand if you are a psychopath or not a psychopath?

I did write what I mean.

[Tsar]

Same could be said about beggars. People do not like beggars and it is enforced in some places that they do not do it. It is not nice bothering people. Hard to understand if you are a psychopath but it is what it is.

Hard to understand if you are a psychopath or not a psychopath?

I did write what I mean.

I think if there are beggars then it's society's own fault, not beggars bothering people.

[Gali]

Same could be said about beggars. People do not like beggars and it is enforced in some places that they do not do it. It is not nice bothering people. Hard to understand if you are a psychopath but it is what it is.

Hard to understand if you are a psychopath or not a psychopath?

I did write what I mean.

I think if there are beggars then it's society's own fault, not beggars bothering people.

Then maybe we can go further meta and say it is nature's 'fault' because it created men and society that way. So some societies are created so that beggars and psychopaths are ostracized. So it is natures will.