Aye Aye Captain Loser

[Tsar]

Captain Save-a-Hoe is back
We should cut him some slack
He hoisted a flag and set sail
Attacked by a feminist landwhale
But he's looking for a nasty hoe
Tells his wretched crew to row
His parrot curses, calls him Shite
He gets covered in shit at night
He found a nasty slutty lass
He wanted to try her bitch ass
But once again there was a mutiny
Every crew places him under scrutiny
It's because he's selfish and doesn't care
Every crew just wants him to give a share
They want to tap some booty too
But Captain is probably a dirty Jew
Aye Aye Captain, he lost another slut
He was rescued by a shanty called Mutt
Saved by Somalian pirates to ransom
Chad the Jock was on holiday drinking rum

Note: Who is Captain?

He travels to Ukraine
Supports Zelensky
Posts modified song lyrics

Any guesses?

[Tsar]

The Captain is a scoundrel
A Scurvy Dog, a mongrel!
He celebrates a girl's death
The guy drinks, has bad breath
He's a mangy, ugly fat Jew rat
Sounds like an Anglo SJW brat
He kisses Zelensky's Jewish ass
He loves the ugliest sluts with sass
His new pirate ship is a modified tank
The Russians will make him walk a plank
He was rolling into the frontline to fight
Instead, he received the ultimate fright
A missile blew off one of his two legs
Now Captain walks with one that's wood
In his shame he now wears a veiled hood

[WilliamSmith]

I was devastated by Tsar's rejection when I thought he meant me at first, since I am learning single-handed sailing (hence a Captain, and a scoundrel just as much as Han Solo ever was), I love easy women (the easier the lay and the sluttier in the bedroom the better, by my taste), and I go on intermittent tirades about how I think prostitution should be outlawed for the protection of the girls who otherwise get pressured or forced into the sex trade (hence "Captain Save-a-Hoe" might've applied to me, as well, since I like "white knighting").

But it didn't all add up when we got to the point about "Captain is probaly a dirty Jew," so I think Tsar actually means that lousy jew rat (or is he really a half-witted Ukrainian mutant like he claims??) Voyager1 who comes on here to shill for that mutant kike Zelensky's ZOG and post jewmedia bullshit from the Kyiv Post...

Did I guess right, @Tsar?
Either way, great rhyming in both posts, as with your earlier "I Hate Señor Galimatías" works.

At some point a collection of Tsar's greatest poems, and possibly some small book of @Cornfed's most cutting tersely phrased merciless verbal swipes and slams, might be good thing to put together as a Happier Abroad spinoff product. They'd each receive a cut of royalties, and Winston might be able to sell them and raise some more revenues to support the maintenance costs of the site.

[Tsar]

I was devastated by Tsar's rejection when I thought he meant me at first, since I am learning single-handed sailing (hence a Captain, and a scoundrel just as much as Han Solo ever was), I love easy women (the easier the lay and the sluttier in the bedroom the better, by my taste), and I go on intermittent tirades about how I think prostitution should be outlawed for the protection of the girls who otherwise get pressured or forced into the sex trade (hence "Captain Save-a-Hoe" might've applied to me, as well, since I like "white knighting").

But it didn't all add up when we got to the point about "Captain is probaly a dirty Jew," so I think Tsar actually means that lousy jew rat (or is he really a half-witted Ukrainian mutant like he claims??) Voyager1 who comes on here to shill for that mutant kike Zelensky's ZOG and post jewmedia bullshit from the Kyiv Post...

Did I guess right, @Tsar?
Either way, great rhyming in both posts, as with your earlier "I Hate Señor Galimatías" works.

At some point a collection of Tsar's greatest poems, and possibly some small book of @Cornfed's most cutting tersely phrased merciless verbal swipes and slams, might be good thing to put together as a Happier Abroad spinoff product. They'd each receive a cut of royalties, and Winston might be able to sell them and raise some more revenues to support the maintenance costs of the site.

Your guess was correct

Here's many more of my original poems if you're interested in reading my poetry thread.

viewtopic.php?style=1&p=357707#p357707

[Tsar]

Yo ho ho, it's the pirate's life
The Captain needs no wife
He lives on a moldy shanty
His treasure is a slut's panty
His new first mate is a fag
Must puke at sea in a bag!
His crew are all eunuchs
Craziest demented Canucks
He thinks he'll get some booty
A slut that tastes sweet and fruity
He did save a really hot lustful hoe
But the slut was a sexy and bitchy lesbo
She staged a mutiny and took control
Had to choose: Swim or his head would roll
He chose to walk another wooden plank
The slutty lass he saved was a lesbian skank

[WilliamSmith]

I was devastated by Tsar's rejection when I thought he meant me at first, since I am learning single-handed sailing (hence a Captain, and a scoundrel just as much as Han Solo ever was), I love easy women (the easier the lay and the sluttier in the bedroom the better, by my taste), and I go on intermittent tirades about how I think prostitution should be outlawed for the protection of the girls who otherwise get pressured or forced into the sex trade (hence "Captain Save-a-Hoe" might've applied to me, as well, since I like "white knighting").

But it didn't all add up when we got to the point about "Captain is probaly a dirty Jew," so I think Tsar actually means that lousy jew rat (or is he really a half-witted Ukrainian mutant like he claims??) Voyager1 who comes on here to shill for that mutant kike Zelensky's ZOG and post jewmedia bullshit from the Kyiv Post...

Did I guess right, @Tsar?
Either way, great rhyming in both posts, as with your earlier "I Hate Señor Galimatías" works.

At some point a collection of Tsar's greatest poems, and possibly some small book of @Cornfed's most cutting tersely phrased merciless verbal swipes and slams, might be good thing to put together as a Happier Abroad spinoff product. They'd each receive a cut of royalties, and Winston might be able to sell them and raise some more revenues to support the maintenance costs of the site.

Your guess was correct

Here's many more of my original poems if you're interested in reading my poetry thread.

viewtopic.php?style=1&p=357707#p357707

Wow, epic stuff there, thanks for pointing out the existence of this collection of your work!
Now I see this wasn't your first poetical reference to "Captain Loser," either. The one on page 3 about HouseSTD and israelis was great, I will read the others in due course.

[Tsar]

Captain Save-A-Hoe is back
We gotta stop cutting him slack
He grew a scraggly unkempt beard
At his new crew he sternly glared
Row ye mangy, motley scurvy mutts!
Row lest ye be eating raw fish guts!
The crew were plotting another mutiny
Captain's behavior got him early scrutiny
The parrot squawked: To the Brig! To the Brig!
Captain got punched, into the air went his wig
The First Mate saw the most skanky slut
Rescued, she showed the crew her strut
She loved to get a cock in her p*ssy and butt
The crew partied with grog and their new whore
An all night gangbang left her stretched and sore
Captain was crying, he again missed a skank
He was marched and forced to walk a plank
Swimming a race against a hungry shark
Until he was saved by Chad the Jock
Long time to see little man, said Chad
The girls laughed because Captain was sad