That conversation was quite interesting.Pixel--Dude wrote: ↑January 17th, 2024, 1:14 pmI was having a very interesting conversation with @Lucas88 a few days ago over a coffee at our local café. I noticed that when we interact with the waitress there that Lucas88 is very blunt. Where I will say something like: "Two coffees please. Thank you." Lucas would be like: "Two coffees."
I pointed this out when we sat down and asked him if this was something to do with his autism maybe. Basically, the conversation that followed was pretty eye opening.
Lucas88 explained that in Spain people are blunt as he was and it isn't considered rude at all. Whereas in the UK, such bluntness is considered pretty rude. Another thing that was interesting was that in Spain, despite people being blunt in everyday interactions, they are actually really friendly. Lucas has always said that he prefers the Mediterranean culture to Anglo culture. Here in the UK people are pretty unfriendly, judgemental and cold towards you if you don't fit the mould. In spite of all this rhetoric about embracing individuality and all the rest of it if you don't fit in with the crowd then you are usually shunned for having different opinions or beliefs etc.
Afterwards I started to ask myself why I am so blunt when it comes to business transactions even in the UK. One might suppose that it could be a habit that I picked up while living in Spain but I don't find that explanation alone very plausible. People can adapt to new customs and indeed I've shown a formidable level of cultural adaptability throughout my various years living abroad. There must be another explanation.
After giving it a little more thought I came up with two explanations:
1. I tend not to bother with the superfluous pleasantries that many British people use and instead opt for a more direct and economic style of communication because I don't find British English a very pleasant language and even dislike speaking it. Whenever I have to speak it, it's always with some level of reluctance and disdain, and so in the UK and when speaking to British people I have little desire to pepper my speech with anything beyond what is absolutely necessary for making myself understood. When speaking Spanish, on the other hand, I have much more enthusiasm to express myself and often become extremely animated and logorrheic. I find Spanish pleasant and musical and therefore greatly enjoy speaking it. But in the UK my lack of enthusiasm for the local language results in me being more minimalistic and less expressive.
2. I understand that the friendliness and politeness displayed during the business interaction are fake and so, as a person who prefers authenticity, I subconsciously harbor a feeling of disdain for the whole situation. I know that the same waiter or waitress probably wouldn't give me the time of day if I tried striking up a conversation with them in the park or on the bus since most British people are cold and antisocial. So I don't even bother with the any of that stuff. I just say the minimum, pay my money and receive the service. I'm not unfriendly. I'm just real and authentic.
In Spain, being blunt and straight to the point during business transactions is the norm, but ironically I'm more likely to make conversation than I am in the UK. I suppose that I just enjoy interacting with Spanish people more.
Wow, this last paragraph made my day (or night)! Lol!yick wrote: ↑January 17th, 2024, 1:42 pmOne night I was out with my mother in Cadiz, it was about 10 pm and me and mum were sitting at the bench in a small park and on the bench next to us were these two old guys talking away and this young couple walked past them, the young macho and his pretty Andalucian girlfriend all done up to walk around - and the two old guys started on their 'piropos' going 'oooh, an angel has fallen out of the sky and landed in front of us' albeit in Spanish and the couple both laughed along at these two old guys and their cheesy chat up lines - can you imagine that happening at 10 pm in the UK? The chances are of the young guy giving them a shoeing and the woman saying 'f**k off you pair of old pervs' are pretty high - because though the UK has a veneer of politeness (that is disappearing by the year...) it is a very violent culture - which Spain isn't. Latin America is on the whole a violent place though a lot of it is down to poverty issues but the cultures there are very very polite.
I agree that the UK is a violent and antisocial culture. People get offended very easily and then the situation can escalate really quickly. Spanish people, on the other hand, know how to joke around, even with strangers. They don't take everything so seriously. This is one of the reasons why I feel so much more comfortable interacting with Spaniards and am able to come out of my shell. It's rare that things will turn nasty over a bit of banter or a minor misunderstanding. In the UK though say one thing that somebody interprets as being out of line and you'll have some wannabe tough guy threatening to thump you or some nasty trashbag bitch mouthing off at you and making a huge scene.
