Biggest Mystery: If the USA dating scene is unwinnable, how does everyone have a wife and family?!

[Natural_Born_Cynic]

@Winston

No offense Winston and I really love your website and there is not even a single Korean American or a Taiwanese American like you, but why do you want attention from those boring a$$ normies anyway? Just forgot about them and do your own thing. Normies are boring black & white robots anyway.
Are you having some sort of mid life crisis? No offense. Why do you want validation from those stupid conformist, robot motherf*ckers?

[MarcosZeitola]

Btw @MarcosZeitola. What do you mean liposuction? There are bad side effects of that, didn't you know? Liposuction isn't gonna make my big head smaller. What do you mean? My head is the size it is because of my bone and skull size right? Not because of fat.

Also, let me ask you this: Do you like your current girlfriend because of her hair, her job, her assets, her clothes, her money, etc? Of course you may like her looks. But the reason you go gaga for her, at least initially, is that something about her attracts you. It's the whole package, including who she is. Not little things that you can nitpick. Same with all your other girlfriends or wives before. The essence of who they are, including yes their looks, attracts you. It's how you FEEL when you are around them, not just their exterior shell. You get my drift? Therefore, little things that you can control are not what makes a woman want you or love you or pick you. Think about it. It's all a myth.

You also keep thinking this is an atheist universe where everything is luck and chance. I've explained thousands of times in other threads why that isn't so. Why do you keep believing that? Just because you aren't sensitive to divine force and you don't have a soul doesn't mean others aren't either.

@Winston

I'm not saying that you're neccessarily wrong in your observations, alright? Like you mentioned how you see many average looking men in Walmart with wives, and I know, I see the same thing. Plenty of average or even ugly or obese men who have wives. Sometimes even decent looking wives. So, it happens. But that wasn't my point...

My point was: assuming you had been a normie, you had the exact same looks you have now, wore the exact same clothes, everything would have been identical, right? You might have gotten a wife too, early in life. You'd be a middle aged 'family man' now, who knows? It's not unlikely. But that would be based on the assumption you had been a 'normie'. Anyway you're NOT a normie. You're... well, you're you.

So if you're a bit of an odd character, thinking out of the box, living a more alternative lifestyle and being outspoken about a lot of things... you're already playing the game on Hard Mode as it is. Which is why I suggested improving your looks, your style, outfit, body, whatever. Which would take effort, wouldn't be easy, and might perhaps even include some risks. But that might help. Like if girls think your "aura" is off, that will put you at a disadvantage. But if their physical attraction to you is strong enough, they may be willing to overlook your aura. Like how Ted Bundy has these weird, dead eyes and probably gave off a strange aura, but because he was fit, well-dressed and facially handsome, he still got girls interested in him. Not with a good outcome, lol. But you get my point.

As for my own girlfriend right now... I cannot quite explain it. Her English isn't great. We don't have the deepest of talks. But she just makes me happy. A lot of it is based on her looks, I'm not going to lie. But I like her feminine energy too. Even her voice is sexy to me. She's amazing. But yeah. Looks matter a lot to me these days. Feelings do, too. But looks are what gets one's "foot in the door", so to speak. I think btw when it comes to your head, it's the distribution of facial fat and fat underneath your chin that gives your head the impression of being larger and rounder than it needs to be; I am pretty sure your skull itself is relatively normal-sized. Hence I suggested you to lose weight in a targetted manner, perhaps through liposuction. I'm not trying to offend you in any way, I'm just being practical and thinking out loud.

[Space Invaders]

A friend of mine on WhatsApp gave me his take on my questions:

"If you live in suburbia then you're seeing the "successful" men who got wives, could afford houses, etc. You're not seeing the "failures." It's not as mysterious as you think. There's a big difference between a low IQ country with an inept government and a higher IQ country with a government that has its hand in everything, including the dating market, marriage, family formation, and divorce. It's not a mystery why PH is happier, and the US is miserable. You keep looking for an answer behind the answer but I don't think you will ever find one that satisfies you Winston.

Where you are determines what you even see. You know millions of men struggle in American society yet if you live in suburbia (just one example) you question yourself because you are seeing the opposite. It's like the old problem of introverts finding other introverts - they're all at home, lol. In reality there are plenty but of course you don't see them outside in public typically. Well similarly you don't see the struggling, sad, lonely failures in suburbia, college campuses, city downtowns, and places like that.

Like in PH you always see places packed but Filipinos are always broke. It's a paradox. But it makes sense when you have enough information. PH relies heavily on remittances, and has a large number of foreign workers who frequently return home and spend money and share it with their families. There is also a huge thieving culture and as soon as Filipinos get any money they spend it. Add all this up and it makes sense.

Just like anyone with half a brain knows the country has insane social and economic problems, yet if you spent most of your time around yuppies you would wonder how that could be true. But if, say, you lived in a rural area you would likely see the rot: barren towns, rusted abandoned factories, and people who clearly have substance abuse problems.

It's like how people see murders or assaults or shootings on the news, and people assume America is generally a dangerous country. And sure, it is, but not equally all around. Go to a ghetto of an inner city and you are very likely to be the victim of a crime. But go to a small town, you could wander around at night for years and nothing would probably ever happen to you.

Another good example in a similar vein is how people travel across the world and bump into people they know, unplanned. It seems incredible at first and they think it's such a small world. But the world is small in a sense. Most people are traveling to or through major cities. Those are the typical travel hubs. And it makes perfect sense. Places with lots of people bring lots of people. So your odds of running into someone you know traveling is not nearly as low as most people think."

That's a solid take from your Whatsapp mate. Agree completely. A lot of these perceptions are based in confirmation bias. Like for instance, you feel it is easier for a regular Asian bloke to get a nice partner in Asia... true, to a degree. But you've never been just a "regular bloke" in the Philippines, for instance; you have always been there as a foreigner and therefore more wealthy than most locals. And yes, looks are something that matters even in Asia. Like those Korean or Chinese men who undergo painful leg-lengthening surgeries just to add a few inches to their height, because even in Asia, a tall man is seen as more desirable. Likewise, the Filipino man I knew who was most successful with women, a real playboy who could charm the hottest of girls... he was incredibly well-groomed and fit. His bedroom was full of face lotions and hair gels and nice clothes, he watched what he ate and he worked out religiously. At first glance I thought "oh just some random dude who gets laid a lot", but when I got to know him, I discovered there's a whole science to it. He eventually married a super hot girl, twenty years younger than him, when he was in his forties. That's when he won the game.

You can "win the game" anywhere in the world, but not without serious effort. It's rarely won by those who have a happy-go-lucky approach to things and aren't willing to put in the work. @Winston you could probably "win" too, even today, but you would have to take drastic measures. For instance, liposuction on your neck and face to remove the excess fat and make your head look normal sized, also this would restore your jawline. Next, watching your diet (probably go on keto) and working out four or five times a week, lifting weights. Since you are not too short for an Asian man and you are not a hideously ugly man in terms of features, you are still salvageable to a large degree. You'd have to really put in the work for about a year but by the end of 2023 or beginning of 2024, you would be the type of man who could win the dating game.

Plenty of men find partners, but to really win the dating game, you need to treat it as the game it is. Your hair, your body, your clothes, it needs to be impeccable. And if you reach that level of looks, of being well-groomed, it no longer matters that you're a bit odd or weird, you would still be a King in the eyes of girls. You can win the game, Winston, but you will have to suffer to win it. No pain, no gain.

"you are still salvageable to a large degree"-No, he is not.

[Space Invaders]

Btw @MarcosZeitola. What do you mean liposuction? There are bad side effects of that, didn't you know? Liposuction isn't gonna make my big head smaller. What do you mean? My head is the size it is because of my bone and skull size right? Not because of fat.

Also, let me ask you this: Do you like your current girlfriend because of her hair, her job, her assets, her clothes, her money, etc? Of course you may like her looks. But the reason you go gaga for her, at least initially, is that something about her attracts you. It's the whole package, including who she is. Not little things that you can nitpick. Same with all your other girlfriends or wives before. The essence of who they are, including yes their looks, attracts you. It's how you FEEL when you are around them, not just their exterior shell. You get my drift? Therefore, little things that you can control are not what makes a woman want you or love you or pick you. Think about it. It's all a myth.

You also keep thinking this is an atheist universe where everything is luck and chance. I've explained thousands of times in other threads why that isn't so. Why do you keep believing that? Just because you aren't sensitive to divine force and you don't have a soul doesn't mean others aren't either.

I got a chuckle out of that too lol I've never heard of a person surgically removing fat from their head. Besides, having a large skull isn't necessarily a bad thing. A lot of actors, politicians, and businessman have large heads. Presumably in order to house a large brain. But your brain is pea sized which would explain why whatever comes out of your mouth rings hollow.

[MarcosZeitola]

"you are still salvageable to a large degree"-No, he is not.

Why not, though? I'm a firm believer in "it ain't over til it's over".

[Tsar]

"you are still salvageable to a large degree"-No, he is not.

Why not, though? I'm a firm believer in "it ain't over til it's over".

I think that most people have the ability to salvage something or improve unless it becomes truly impossible or too late.

[Winston]

MartellThaCool made a video about this thread.

[ArchibaultNew]

@Winston

Have you heard of Occam's Razor? The simplest answer is usually the correct. In American's case is because what you are seeing today is a reflection of 20-30 years ago. The families, the couples the media orientation it is all a Reflection of What Came Before.

If you come to America in 10-20 years in the future you'll start to see a different reality. The Incels, the Cat Ladies, the manosphere guys like(Andrew Tate) starting to get more popular with younger people. It will take at least one more generation for you to see a different "panorama." Many thing don't stay "static" rather they go out of business and a new businessness come up to take its place. For instance, it wouldn't surprise me that many of those media outlets you see now, will eventually go out of business and a different outlet which serves the interests of the next generation will rise up and they will more openly talk about this issues. Already Vice while I don't like their content started to talk about both PUA's and Incel's and that's an Indie/Left wing normie publication, surprisingly this documentary is more recent and has a more uplifitng tone then the one they did with Justin wayne a few years ago: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7eqkqmnnaVE

[dubya]

First of all PUA ruined alot of guys with expectations of having p***y fall out of every tree, until even guys like Winston are like "Why can't I have that?"

You can't have that because that's f***ing RARE, and/or takes a religious amount of discipline, neither of which you qualify for.

"Average guys" endure yearlong dry spells, and when they find a girlfriend they keep her and marry her.

The girl that lived next door to me, she was dating some guy for a couple months, next thing I know she looked about 6 months pregnant, this guy put a bun in her oven faster than Speedy Gonzales (and he was a hispanic dude, she was white/germanic.) He basically went *meep meep* and impregnated her so fast she didn't have time to think. And now they're together.

Now with kids, she is locked down, tied down, she can't go out to clubs, she can't run around and hoe around (not that she ever did.) She's basically a housewife and he works triple shifts.

Here is the thing most guys don't understand.

If you find a halfway decent girl and knock her up/lock her down, she's not gonna go anywhere. She's not gonna cheat on you. Because she doesn't have the ENERGY because she's home cleaning up baby puke and singing along to Spongebob.

But even if you found a woman like this, are you ready to be a father?

Are you ready to be a husband?

Are you ready to work your ass off and take a mortgage for the next 25 years?

Cuz if not then WTF is your goal?

Your goal is to be this carefree playboy with a white/asian bangmaid, that cooks you dinner and bends over.

BUT WHAT ARE YOU OFFERING?

You're not rich, you're not tall, you're not great looking, you're not willing to take a mortgage and work like a dog.

You want everything and you offer nothing.

And to top it off you're probably an anti-social guy who's kind of against the grain, don't belong to any church or community, you're basically a LONE WOLF who doesn't like to get along.

So you don't fit the Alpha and you don't fit the Beta either.

If you're not alpha, then you have to be beta.

If you're not beta, then good luck in southeast asia, cuz that's the only place you're gonna score p***y more than once a year.

Cuz that's what "normie" means.

It's a Beta.

Beta bux.

Alot of guys take that to mean you're getting cucked, or you're a loser.

Far from it.

Beta is like the second-tier down from alpha on the pyramid.

Those are the guys pulling in 6-figures in Silicon valley with the mcmansion.

So if you're not alpha, and if you're not beta, then you're probably an FA/Incel/Mgtow/whatever, and if you're not that either, the only thing lower is a homeless drug addict.

Or actually I would put "Passport Bro" between Beta and Incel.

1st - Alphas
2nd - Betas
3rd - Passport Bros
4th - Incels/FA/Mgtow/whatever
5th - Homeless drug addict

There's no shame in being beta, that's like %98 of guys at Walmart are betas.

Maybe their wife sucks their dick 3x a year if they are lucky., BUT at least they have a family, they have kids.

They have some kind of social status with a wedding ring on their finger and sometimes they even get to f**k some women at work and come home like "hi Honey" and kiss their kids on the forehead.

It's not a bad life, these are the guys with the 401K's.

[Mercury]

It's the gang culture that America has become. In modern-day America, a prison record is mandatory to get dates, as is membership in street gangs, like the Latin Kings, MS-13, Los Zetas, the Bloods, the Crips, or America's favorite gang, the Gangster Disciples. In America, a guy that has already served at least ten years in prison is seen as a tough guy. Flirtation is illegal in the USA and is the surest way to get thrown in jail. In America, they say that any man that has already done time in prison is not afraid to stare down the barrel of a SWAT sharpshooter's rifle like a caught cop killer, or even to outright get taken down by SWAT like a caught cop killer, for asking a woman out and/or showing a natural romantic interest in a woman. American women don't like down-to-Earth guys. They like bodyguards and wealth!

[Mercury]

Another thing that really makes it horribly crummy, most American women are overweight. And with more than 2 men to every woman in the USA, in many cases, only the biggest heavysets (we're talking as big as 600 pounds and heavier) are actually single and looking, and at the same time, their tremendous girth, their huge double chin with no visible neck, and their wide cottage cheese thighs and deep abdominal folds are a force field in and of themselves, keeping all the guys away. And at the same time, obesity is welded into American culture. In America, anyone who weighs less than 300 pounds is seen as anorexic, bulimic, and mentally ill. And in America, they even say that the cruelest, most evil and callous thing any man can possibly do is refuse to date a woman that's 450 pounds and bigger.

America has become a dangerous country, a country full of violent gangs and drugs. Americans are allergic to the outdoors. People are going to jail in the USA for even having an apple tree in their yards. Anyone who rides bicycles, goes swimming, goes to the beach, anyone who even leaves their residence other than for business only, is labeled a lowlife. American police are even arresting people and throwing them in jail for being out on the streets for any reason other than business.

[Space Invaders]

First of all PUA ruined alot of guys with expectations of having p***y fall out of every tree, until even guys like Winston are like "Why can't I have that?"

You can't have that because that's f***ing RARE, and/or takes a religious amount of discipline, neither of which you qualify for.

"Average guys" endure yearlong dry spells, and when they find a girlfriend they keep her and marry her.

The girl that lived next door to me, she was dating some guy for a couple months, next thing I know she looked about 6 months pregnant, this guy put a bun in her oven faster than Speedy Gonzales (and he was a hispanic dude, she was white/germanic.) He basically went *meep meep* and impregnated her so fast she didn't have time to think. And now they're together.

Now with kids, she is locked down, tied down, she can't go out to clubs, she can't run around and hoe around (not that she ever did.) She's basically a housewife and he works triple shifts.

Here is the thing most guys don't understand.

If you find a halfway decent girl and knock her up/lock her down, she's not gonna go anywhere. She's not gonna cheat on you. Because she doesn't have the ENERGY because she's home cleaning up baby puke and singing along to Spongebob.

But even if you found a woman like this, are you ready to be a father?

Are you ready to be a husband?

Are you ready to work your ass off and take a mortgage for the next 25 years?

Cuz if not then WTF is your goal?

Your goal is to be this carefree playboy with a white/asian bangmaid, that cooks you dinner and bends over.

BUT WHAT ARE YOU OFFERING?

You're not rich, you're not tall, you're not great looking, you're not willing to take a mortgage and work like a dog.

You want everything and you offer nothing.

And to top it off you're probably an anti-social guy who's kind of against the grain, don't belong to any church or community, you're basically a LONE WOLF who doesn't like to get along.

So you don't fit the Alpha and you don't fit the Beta either.

If you're not alpha, then you have to be beta.

If you're not beta, then good luck in southeast asia, cuz that's the only place you're gonna score p***y more than once a year.

Cuz that's what "normie" means.

It's a Beta.

Beta bux.

Alot of guys take that to mean you're getting cucked, or you're a loser.

Far from it.

Beta is like the second-tier down from alpha on the pyramid.

Those are the guys pulling in 6-figures in Silicon valley with the mcmansion.

So if you're not alpha, and if you're not beta, then you're probably an FA/Incel/Mgtow/whatever, and if you're not that either, the only thing lower is a homeless drug addict.

Or actually I would put "Passport Bro" between Beta and Incel.

1st - Alphas
2nd - Betas
3rd - Passport Bros
4th - Incels/FA/Mgtow/whatever
5th - Homeless drug addict

There's no shame in being beta, that's like %98 of guys at Walmart are betas.

Maybe their wife sucks their dick 3x a year if they are lucky., BUT at least they have a family, they have kids.

They have some kind of social status with a wedding ring on their finger and sometimes they even get to f**k some women at work and come home like "hi Honey" and kiss their kids on the forehead.

It's not a bad life, these are the guys with the 401K's.

This is the most accurate post I've read on this website. Unfortunately, the point will be lost upon Winston and the other delusional posters.