How come normal people don't need to use cold approach or go abroad to find wives/girlfriends, but we do?!

[Winston]

Hi all,
I have another strange question. It seems that normal people are able to find wives and girlfriends in America without having to use cold approach or other "out of the box" methods like that that are taboo in America. They seem to find their partners naturally, as if the universe hooks them up with a guiding hand of destiny. So how come we don't get wives and girlfriends naturally in America like that? How come we have to rely on cold approaching women, which is seen as taboo, inappropriate and unnatural in America? It may have been more acceptable and normal in the 70s and 80s, but it definitely became taboo and creepish in the 90s. That's one of the main reasons we have to go abroad, because in many foreign countries you can meet women and get dates using cold approach, since foreign women are more open to men and there isn't that cold antisocial wall between strangers that there is in America.

But what I don't get is why normies don't have to go abroad or use cold approach to find wives or long term girlfriends? Go to any Walmart and you will see average men with their wives everywhere. So no, you don't have to be in the top 5 or 10 percent of men or have a good job, income, height, looks or own a house to get a woman, like Incels, MGTOWs and TFLers claim. Normies find one naturally as if it were part of the normal flow of things. What is the difference between them and us? There must be something I am missing here. What is it exactly?

It would seem in my view that the matrix seems to pair up people that it thinks will produce offspring that is beneficial to the matrix and its loosh farm. Just like a farmer pairs up its animals to produce offspring that is beneficial to the farm. When the matrix pairs couples up, it happens naturally as if it were "meant to be". That's the impression I get. So for misfits and outcasts like me, the matrix doesn't see any benefit in pairing me up with someone to produce offspring. Because the matrix doesn't want more misfits who don't fit into the system. That's the only way I can make sense out of this.

You could say the same with social cliques in high school too. Everyone seems to know which clique they belong to, as if a hidden hand were guiding them. They don't have to try to find a clique. But all the cliques shut me out as if I was the odd man out for no reason. Very inexplicable. Even if I acted open and friendly and sociable, same result. No difference. How can that be? What am I missing here? There must be some intangible variable here that is missing from the equation.

What do you all think? I know these are loser questions, but we gotta confront the truth and face the facts. There is something off here that shuts us out of dating and social life in America that normies don't complain about. What is it exactly?

Moreover, @kangarunner and I noticed that there is some dark force in America that makes anyone who comes here turn mean and antisocial and impossible to connect with. Have any of you noticed that too? How come this dark force doesn't affect us but affects everyone else? Moreover, how do Americans connect or hook up or have any relationships or social life is this dark force makes everyone antisocial and not want to connect with others and turns them into misanthropes? Very baffling and illogical indeed. How do you explain such a big oxymoron? There must be something missing from the equation here, unless this reality is some kind of mindfuck or Truman Show that is f***ing with us.

Do any of you wonder about these things too?

Still, another possibility is that we are in some kind of experiment, and the matrix needs a certain amount of misfits and outcasts as part of its experiment. So it designated people like me to be a misfit and outcast and everything in my life script goes according to the role that the matrix assigned to me. So it has nothing to do with choice or free will, I am merely playing a role that the matrix assigned to me, as part of its experiment. Keep in mind that the matrix runs the entire world and sees everything and is everywhere all at once, so it's billions of times smarter than we are and must have some good reason for everything it does, right? Trying to outwit it would be like trying to beat the Deep Blue computer in chess (the one that beat Gary Kasparov), which would be impossible. So doesn't that mean we should try to work with it somehow?

[gsjackson]

Because they marry whomever happens to be at hand and willing at the time they think they're expected to get married. It's essentially social conformity.

[Winston]

Because they marry whomever happens to be at hand and willing at the time they think they're expected to get married. It's essentially social conformity.

How come me and many here were never given the opportunity to marry whoever we could around us? The opportunity for me was never there. I had to try to make it happen, which means going against the flow and using cold approach or PUA, all of which are unnatural and abnormal in America. You see my point? Why does the matrix pair up other couples but not us?

[Kalinago]

I find americans very easy to befriend but not in my former neighbourhood? America is so diverse even a freaking neighbourhood is not the same.

As for american women I get approached for sex or a relationship or even just friendship any time I have been social Im a warm setting.

I even got cold approached by a jailbait for sex (I rejected her of course) and also I have a stalker, both of them mixed black girls?

Everyone's experience is so different.

Socially I'm much better of here than in Holland and I find people who so befriend you to be more sincere.

[Kalinago]

Winston subliminals DO work and so does the law of assumption but not full proof one hundred percent you do have to be proactive.

Also be consistent with it.

It might be demons giving me stuff idk but women go crazy for me when I use attraction subliminals or attraction subliminals for a certain type that type will come to me.

I once had a day or two where I saw redheads literally everywhere when they're so rare and that's when I wanted one real bad and the universe was making fun of me.

[MrMan]

I wasn't the type who had to have a girlfriend, and I wasn't serious about finding a wife yet in my early 20s. I think I had just turned 22 when I first went to Asia. So I didn't search for years with no success for a wife in the US before going abroad.

But I was picky in what I wanted for a wife, both physically, and in terms of values, faith, etc. I wanted someone with specific beliefs, too. I wanted to marry a virgin. And honestly, I wanted a woman who was freakishly beautiful, too. Probably way too picky. I've been told I was good-looking when I was young. I didn't really know at the time, not most of it. It didn't matter.

Either Indonesian women gave off clues when I was at a good marrying age, or I had just finally been able to pick up on verbal and body language cues that young women were interested. Or I was 'GR'-- gede rasa-- just though they liked me when they didn't.

I didn't date all that much, but there was probably one female friend of mine I felt connected to enough to have considered a relationship with before I met my wife, and she was way too aggressive of a personality. She was beautiful, physically, but older than me, and thought of herself as my senior who outranked me. I am glad that did not go in the romantic direction.

Then I met my wife, and she fit my important criteria-- not silly criteria I'd thought of at different times in my life like blonde with green eyes or something like that, but the character stuff. A virgin also. And she was also beautiful. I'd say freakishly beautiful from a statistical perspective. People still keep telling me how pretty my wife is when they meet her. They probably used to stay stuff like that about me. She's kept her looks a bit better as she ages. Those Asian women. You know how it is.

Finding someone that you really like who really likes you can be a challenge. Even if you find a girl who likes you, or a girl who is really pretty who likes you, you really liking her as person.

I had some help though, since I prayed and several specific things I prayed about her lined up. I also prayed to see my wife and had a brief vision some months, probably, before I first met her. I prayed once, got knowledge of something that had happened to her in response to my prayer, then she told me the story the next time I talked to her on the phone. So I was getting a bit of help. I consider it God's grace that we found each other. Not the first time, but the second time we met, right before I struck up a conversation with her, our first real conversation, she would later tell me that the Lord spoke to her that I was the one, or to be husband, or however she put it. She showed me her prayer journal that she prayed after our meeting.

I don't think I ever did a pickup line once. I wanted to marry a serious Christian. Striking up a conversation with a random girl using a pickup line didn't make much sense with that objective. I have struck up conversations with strangers, and do that all the time, but not some kind of pick up line scenario. I never hung out in bars and never tried to pick up a woman from a bar, either. I probably wouldn't have wanted to date or marry the kind of girl who would hang out at a bar to meet men.

[WilliamSmith]

Because they marry whomever happens to be at hand and willing at the time they think they're expected to get married. It's essentially social conformity.

How come me and many here were never given the opportunity to marry whoever we could around us? The opportunity for me was never there. I had to try to make it happen, which means going against the flow and using cold approach or PUA, all of which are unnatural and abnormal in America. You see my point? Why does the matrix pair up other couples but not us?

@Winston
I think @gsjackson is exactly right from what I've always seen since the 80s: The funny thing is that you seem to think hodlers who just get introduced to whoever they think they can get, then hustle into marriage because it's the conformist expectation (or at least was) are supposedly happier or better off? I certainly haven't seen that, I see a bunch of divorced failed marriages, or else either little henpecked beta males dominated by shrewish wives (who often are so lost they even let their wives control their finances, LOL), or else domineering husbands who are too angry and controlling over their own wives.
Honestly, I think those of us who learn how to go on the hunt and go seek out and get the women that we REALLY want have it so much better! It's too bad that you didn't enjoy the process Winston (if I'm reading you right?)!