The Philippines: Not What It's Cracked Up to Be

[newlifeinphilippines]

Its too bad this thread and posters weren't here 4 years ago. It would have cleared up the myths that we still have today. Even I fell for those myths because there weren't threads like this a couple years ago.

[newlifeinphilippines]

None. I was assured that they would talk to me (I was supposed to be a rock star in the Philippines, remember?). I was told that they would take the initiative and help me get over my shyness. Again, completely false. If anything, I found many Philippine girls to be cranky and standoffish.

It depends a lot on who you are and what you look like. If you're only average looking, not exact fit (quite easy to tell when you wear summer clothes) and in your mid 40s, you can't expect to be treated like the late Mick Jagger You will probably attract a giggle or two from younger girls who get naturally curious at anything that deviates from their routine. The occasional cashier or shop assistant might ask your name and where you're from, plus some intimate questions like if you are taken or free and even how much you earn (it's common in Filipino culture, as it is in Latin America), but it's really up to you to take anything further.

With woman it's always "no pain no gain"...unless you want to pay upfront for it. The bar might be ridiculously lower in the Philippines, compared to US and Western Europe, but to think that everything comes easy & free like fruit fallen from a tree is just delusional.

It also depends on where you go. Women in Metro Manila, Clark, Cebu and touristic places like Boracay are used to seeing foreigners around all the time, many of whom of the expat/businessman kind, and won't exactly jump at the chance to have a casual conversation with yet another one of them. Unless they have to, or are genuinely interested. The latter assumes - once again - some work on your side.

About your shyness, though, it is true that Filipinas and Filipino people in general are so welcoming and friendly, it's hard to put down that mask of cautiousness and indifference we Westerners are often forced to wear in public. You just have to go with the flow. My advice is, don't just stick to the ladies at all costs. Hanging out with male Filipinos your age or a few years younger is incredibly easy, as they will find an excuse to invite you as soon as they have established you're not a complete creep. Then they will easily introduce you to their family and friends, and as your social circle widens you will find more opportunities to meet people...among whom the cute single girl you might be looking for.

Filipinos are gregarious and like when foreigners immerse themselves in their culture and social rites. You just have to leave your prejudices at bay and, really, go with the flow.

I will tell you what did impress me about the Philippines, though-- the food. I ate Filipino food every day. It's delicious and indulgent. Good, hearty soul food. Love garlic rice, and those fatty strips of pork. I have no idea why the same guys that said the Philippines is a p***y paradise also said that Filipino food sucks. They got it ass-backwards.

Wow, this is the first time I read someone praising FIlipino food in here.

I am a massive fish/seafood and, while living in Davao City, I had some of the most delicious fish-based food ever in my life. It was unsophisticated, fresh and above all cheap. And I'm Italian and have Mamma's meals as a benchmark, so I won't judge food quality lightly. The fried pork belly strips you mention are probably liempo. I love them too. I love fish much better though. The way the grill squid and shrimp, with tomato and onion, and garnish with thick soy-based BBQ sauce is simply nirvana! Tuna, milkfish (bangus) and swordfish are always succulent and fresh, and need very little condiment to bring out their taste. I also tried some very delicious soups and chowders which names I can't remember. Excellent stuff, too.

The difference about the Filipino food haters (most) and the few who praise it might simple be down to the kind of establishments they normally go to. I have noticed most Americans aren't too keen about venturing into the local cuisine and prefer to stick to the acquired taste. They would walk straight into a known franchise (McDonald, Pizza Hut, etc.) or a restaurant that offers that same kind of menu they have back home, in the hope that a burger will make their day, or a burrito will taste exactly like one prepared in Texas. Limited budget might also play a big part. However cheaper than the West, a good 2-3 course meal in a reputable restaurant, say Antonio's Grill, will always cost you about 500 pesos. You can't have quality and pay nothing for it...unless you go straight to the market and cook it by yourself.

well it can come easy and free. Dating site sluts will meet you at the airport "for free". but usually it will cost you alot to hold onto them cau se they are so desperate. Although even the uppity girls can be worse (nurse girl) who expect a lot bu t dont return the favors. so the question is why didn't he do the dating sites if h e didn't want to do bargirls? See im shy like him and all but i knew when i went to the philippines i would just go to the bars to meet the women and to introduce myself to the country cause i would be too shy to try to hit on locals especially for my first trip. Looking back i should have done the dating sites though or hit on those waitresses or women walking around. and i probably should have done that on my last trips. If i ever go back to asia im not gonna focus on dating sites so much or at least one single girl and ill be slow to enter a relationship and ill try to incorporate more sightseeing and just going around doing things where the opportunities will present themselves. Often what happens is you meet a girl from the dating site and you get stuck ina rut with her and she isn't the right one for you. I need more of the ability to "cut and run" and not get attached so easily. And also to build up confidence and socialize, which the OP needs to learn too.

[newlifeinphilippines]

Its too bad this thread and posters weren't here 4 years ago. It would have cleared up the myths that we still have today. Even I fell for those myths because there weren't threads like this a couple years ago.

No need to treat this dude like he's a f***ing one-man Myth Busters, all he "proved" was that if you go to a country and take zero effort to meet ladies, you will not get laid. Hardly a Nobel Prize worthy discovery.

The entire thread dismisses the Philippines as p***y paradise based solely on the ridiculous notion that "someone" told OP that women would throw themselves at him, and this did not happen. He put zero effort into the endeavour and ended up unsuccessful (surprise, surprise!), then blamed it on his shyness and "bloated skin" rather then his complete and utter lack of action. This thread is pathetic, and there's no defending it.

Yeah but what i mean is 4 years ago if you look back all there was was Winston posting photos of russia and angeles saying how miraculous the girls were and then Will N Dowds famous I was a God in the philippines. There were no one giving opposing views. Now its a more realistic. I just wish there were more negative opinions a few years ago so I would have known better. Even after going there i still had the myths of will n dowd and Winston in my head. It took a long time to get over those myths even after going there because of the picture painted by others.

[newlifeinphilippines]

Yeah but what i mean is 4 years ago if you look back all there was was Winston posting photos of russia and angeles saying how miraculous the girls were and then Will N Dowds famous I was a God in the philippines. There were no one giving opposing views. Now its a more realistic. I just wish there were more negative opinions a few years ago so I would have known better. Even after going there i still had the myths of will n dowd and Winston in my head. It took a long time to get over those myths.

Opposing views are fine but they have to have SUBSTANCE. This thread offers none, it is purely based on one man's misguided ideas and his shitty approach (or lack thereof). You can say a lot of negative stuff about Winstin and Willy, but at least they DID things. They ACTED, and they got shit done. This fellow here just endlessly complains about his bad fortune, but takes no steps to do better. All he does is justify why he failed, when it's apparent from the get-go the only one he has to blame is himself.

Opposing views are fine, but this hardly qualifies as one.

I agree that this thread in particular is a joke. He went to all the most extreme tourist hot spots and ran around like a one week millionaire without talking to women in only 8 days. Maybe if he had slowed his pace down and skipped manila and angeles and spent a few weeks a different story would have happened. Hell 8 days was only enough for me to get used to the culture shock of being in a new country.

I will say this though angeles girls should ahve flirted or been nice to him. The hotel workers and waitreses are very friendly and i even had one that seemed to take notice and she was super hot one of hte hottest girls in philippines. Im starting ot think that maybe thats where to go to find a girlfriend cause the girls there are so nice and open.

[globe-trotter]

That was exactly my whole point of starting this thread. It was to point out that if you're an average-looking guy who gets no attention here, the same will be true in the Philippines. You will not be a rock star in the Philippines unless you are one in America. Thirty years ago, it might have been a different story.

God damn it how many logical fallacies do you like to engage in? You a had a bloated face that's bad enough to turn women off in general, you've said yourself, so how can you judge a place for their reaction? Don't you see the contradiction? you state that you don't look like a monster but simultaneously say that they even avoid looking at you.

So what is it? you either really have a condition that's bad enough to repel women, in which case the place is not at fault; or it really is only in your head and the place sucks. But you can't have both.

But let's forget that I ever mentioned my bloating issue, OK? It's too technical for laypeople to understand,

No, again, it's key to the issue at hand; read above. Why couldn't you have kindly stated it on the OP/title? unless your intention was to mislead.

Finally, I don't have to be an "expert" to tell you that the Philippines is not what many people claim it is.

pfff
</thread>

Don't bother. He literally said in an earlier post (scroll up if you don't believe me) that he expected women to come to him, because that's what he believed would happen. He never once talked to any women, and he never approached them during his entire stay. Needless to say, he did not get laid and therefore believes his trip to have been a failure.

He should re-name the thread "The Philippines: Sexy Young Things Won't Magically Trip And Fall On Your Dick, or; The Story Of How My Dreams Of Being A Slayer Without Lifting A Finger Were Crushed".

Again, the reason I bothered to travel to the other side of the world was because of the widespread, exaggerated testimonials of men who claimed that the Philippines is different than virtually anywhere else.
They assured me that I would not have to 'game' there. They said that women would come to me if I am shy (which I am). They claimed that, by virtue of being an American, I would be treated like a celebrity & as a result, I would get over my anxiety with women.
None of these things were true, and here you come along and continue to drill the point that I was supposed to 'game' women, which I am not good at doing at all. I didn't need to shlep all the way to the Philippines to 'game' women. I could have done this in America. The whole point of going there was to circumvent the 'gaming' paradigm. I hope this clears it up for you once and for all.

[davewe]

You don't become a rockstar by stepping off a plane... it's in the things you do. And you did none of those things, so word never got out.

Women almost universally expect men to take the initiative. Filipina girls are no different in this. A great deal of them are shy too, and do not forget they come from a country were women are traditionally still more feminine then their Western counterparts. Perhaps in Western countries, women will approach you, or make their interest very known otherwise. This type of dominance and taking matters in their own hands attitude is typical for modern women. Why would you expect this from a Filipina?

Then I really wish that all those expat men would have just STFU, or at least painted a more realistic picture of what to expect in the Philippines, instead of leading me to believe that, by stepping foot on Philippine soil, I would be plugging into a different matrix, or a different dimension. It just proves my point that women's nature is the same no matter which country you land in. There is no such thing as a free lunch anywhere.
Again, I'm not blaming the Philippines for this, I'm blaming the advice I got. I'm also angry at myself for believing it, even though I was skeptical at first.

Who here on HA gave you such terrible advise? If the answer is no one - then what's your beef?

I simple do not believe that any expat or traveler to the Philippines - that is anyone in his right mind - would tell you that you don't have to talk to anyone - that they will somehow fall into your lap. I suspect that impression was strictly created within your own head.

There is a big difference between saying a place is great and saying you don't have to do anything for it to be great. I have a very good job - but I still gotta do the work.

All the other issues (your face, shyness, etc.) are meaningless. You chose not to contact anyone in advance and apparently chose not to approach anyone while there. That's not a recipe for success in anything in life.

[globe-trotter]

Its too bad this thread and posters weren't here 4 years ago. It would have cleared up the myths that we still have today. Even I fell for those myths because there weren't threads like this a couple years ago.

Thank you for finally being the lonely voice of reason (you and I) in a madhouse.

[newlifeinphilippines]

That was exactly my whole point of starting this thread. It was to point out that if you're an average-looking guy who gets no attention here, the same will be true in the Philippines. You will not be a rock star in the Philippines unless you are one in America. Thirty years ago, it might have been a different story.

God damn it how many logical fallacies do you like to engage in? You a had a bloated face that's bad enough to turn women off in general, you've said yourself, so how can you judge a place for their reaction? Don't you see the contradiction? you state that you don't look like a monster but simultaneously say that they even avoid looking at you.

So what is it? you either really have a condition that's bad enough to repel women, in which case the place is not at fault; or it really is only in your head and the place sucks. But you can't have both.

But let's forget that I ever mentioned my bloating issue, OK? It's too technical for laypeople to understand,

No, again, it's key to the issue at hand; read above. Why couldn't you have kindly stated it on the OP/title? unless your intention was to mislead.

Finally, I don't have to be an "expert" to tell you that the Philippines is not what many people claim it is.

pfff
</thread>

Don't bother. He literally said in an earlier post (scroll up if you don't believe me) that he expected women to come to him, because that's what he believed would happen. He never once talked to any women, and he never approached them during his entire stay. Needless to say, he did not get laid and therefore believes his trip to have been a failure.

He should re-name the thread "The Philippines: Sexy Young Things Won't Magically Trip And Fall On Your Dick, or; The Story Of How My Dreams Of Being A Slayer Without Lifting A Finger Were Crushed".

Again, the reason I bothered to travel to the other side of the world was because of the widespread, exaggerated testimonials of men who claimed that the Philippines is different than virtually anywhere else.
They assured me that I would not have to 'game' there. They said that women would come to me if I am shy (which I am). They claimed that, by virtue of being an American, I would be treated like a celebrity & as a result, I would get over my anxiety with women.
None of these things were true, and here you come along and continue to drill the point that I was supposed to 'game' women, which I am not good at doing at all. I didn't need to shlep all the way to the Philippines to 'game' women. I could have done this in America. The whole point of going there was to circumvent the 'gaming' paradigm. I hope this clears it up for you once and for all.

Did you ever read my posts on this forum? Did you ever read Marcos? We have hundreds of posts and nowhere did we say what you believe. Methinks you were reading too many roosh and naughty nomad threads. And if you were then you deserve failure cause those guys are PUA douchebags with high school mentality.

[Jester]

It's like you are purposely setting yourself up to fail, or looking for excuses not to take action.

[globe-trotter]

Did you ever read my posts on this forum? Did you ever read Marcos? We have hundreds of posts and nowhere did we say what you believe. Methinks you were reading too many roosh and naughty nomad threads. And if you were then you deserve failure cause those guys are PUA douchebags with high school mentality.

On this we can definitely agree. It was 100% my fault for not consulting with HA more. Instead, I frequented charlatan sites that told me what I wanted to hear.

[davewe]

Its too bad this thread and posters weren't here 4 years ago. It would have cleared up the myths that we still have today. Even I fell for those myths because there weren't threads like this a couple years ago.

No need to treat this dude like he's a f***ing one-man Myth Busters, all he "proved" was that if you go to a country and take zero effort to meet ladies, you will not get laid. Hardly a Nobel Prize worthy discovery.

The entire thread dismisses the Philippines as p***y paradise based solely on the ridiculous notion that "someone" told OP that women would throw themselves at him, and this did not happen. He put zero effort into the endeavour and ended up unsuccessful (surprise, surprise!), then blamed it on his shyness and "bloated skin" rather then his complete and utter lack of action. This thread is pathetic, and there's no defending it.

Yeah but what i mean is 4 years ago if you look back all there was was Winston posting photos of russia and angeles saying how miraculous the girls were and then Will N Dowds famous I was a God in the philippines. There were no one giving opposing views. Now its a more realistic. I just wish there were more negative opinions a few years ago so I would have known better. Even after going there i still had the myths of will n dowd and Winston in my head. It took a long time to get over those myths even after going there because of the picture painted by others.

Actually, there were many people with negative or opposing views way back when. Not sure about 4 years ago, but certainly 3+ years ago when I joined HA. Some of the core long term members on HA were not/are not Philippines fans and disliked the country, the women, the food, etc. After I first went and posted a trip report or two I was surprised at the negative responses. So while I continue to be generally positive about PI, there are stories I simply don't report. Not everyone is as positive as the OP claims. Hell, go to a Philippines-based forum like Living in Cebu and you will hear many of the expats slam the place.

[newlifeinphilippines]

Its too bad this thread and posters weren't here 4 years ago. It would have cleared up the myths that we still have today. Even I fell for those myths because there weren't threads like this a couple years ago.

No need to treat this dude like he's a f***ing one-man Myth Busters, all he "proved" was that if you go to a country and take zero effort to meet ladies, you will not get laid. Hardly a Nobel Prize worthy discovery.

The entire thread dismisses the Philippines as p***y paradise based solely on the ridiculous notion that "someone" told OP that women would throw themselves at him, and this did not happen. He put zero effort into the endeavour and ended up unsuccessful (surprise, surprise!), then blamed it on his shyness and "bloated skin" rather then his complete and utter lack of action. This thread is pathetic, and there's no defending it.

Yeah but what i mean is 4 years ago if you look back all there was was Winston posting photos of russia and angeles saying how miraculous the girls were and then Will N Dowds famous I was a God in the philippines. There were no one giving opposing views. Now its a more realistic. I just wish there were more negative opinions a few years ago so I would have known better. Even after going there i still had the myths of will n dowd and Winston in my head. It took a long time to get over those myths even after going there because of the picture painted by others.

Actually, there were many people with negative or opposing views way back when. Not sure about 4 years ago, but certainly 3+ years ago when I joined HA. Some of the core long term members on HA were not/are not Philippines fans and disliked the country, the women, the food, etc. After I first went and posted a trip report or two I was surprised at the negative responses. So while I continue to be generally positive about PI, there are stories I simply don't report. Not everyone is as positive as the OP claims. Hell, go to a Philippines-based forum like Living in Cebu and you will hear many of the expats slam the place.

i should go read your trip reports i never seen them.

Well thats the problem 3 years ago was the turning point. My first trip was april 2012 almost 3 years ago. When i first made my trip i was already under the delusions of winston and will n dowd and others. I wasn't completely delusional cause i had a plan to go to the bars which is fail proof. cause i knew in a foreign country that i may or may not be able to afford to go to very often i wasn't ready for a relationship and i thought the easiest would be to meet a bargirl to get used to the women there and the experience. I had been sex starved with no real relationship and confidence issues before so no way was i gonna try hitting on women in a foreign country right off the plane. This op seems to have had that plan event hough he didn't use any dating sites and didn't even pursue girls in teh bar yet went there and stuck to the most touristy spots of all in a mere 8 day vacation. This was probably the biggest fail plan in the history of philippines.

[globe-trotter]

You fool! Talking to a girl isn't bloody "gaming", it's just talking. And girls in the Philippines are easier to approach and talk to then American girls, when you are a middle aged American dude. That's the whole point of what Winston and others have been saying all this time. Nothing more, nothing less. In the end it all boils down to this... you talk to a girl in America, chances are she will reject you. Talk to one in the Philippines, and she is a lot more likely to end up f***ing you. That's all. Nothing more to it.

You could get ever your shyness by interacting with Filipina's. How scary can five feet tall Asian chicks be? Just bloody talk to them and see where it takes you. This really isn't rocket science. It's like you are purposely setting yourself up to fail, or looking for excuses not to take action. Jesus Christ...

Again, I was told that I wouldn't have to make the first move in the Philippines. This idea appealed to me because I have anxiety and am not good at approaching anyone. Also, Filipino women are not as approachable you are are implying. They are by no means mean-spirited (like many American women), but they are not approachable either. Rather, they are reserved and downright cranky. This does not exactly inspire you to approach them. Where were those fabled smiles I was promised? (yes, I smiled at them first, they just didn't smile back)

[newlifeinphilippines]

i dont know man ive had some girls smile at me in a intoxicating way. but im younger.


Where is a good country where the girls are flirtatious but more open to initiating conversation?

[globe-trotter]

Its too bad this thread and posters weren't here 4 years ago. It would have cleared up the myths that we still have today. Even I fell for those myths because there weren't threads like this a couple years ago.

No need to treat this dude like he's a f***ing one-man Myth Busters, all he "proved" was that if you go to a country and take zero effort to meet ladies, you will not get laid. Hardly a Nobel Prize worthy discovery.

The entire thread dismisses the Philippines as p***y paradise based solely on the ridiculous notion that "someone" told OP that women would throw themselves at him, and this did not happen. He put zero effort into the endeavour and ended up unsuccessful (surprise, surprise!), then blamed it on his shyness and "bloated skin" rather then his complete and utter lack of action. This thread is pathetic, and there's no defending it.

....which proves my point that the Philippines will not be a p***y paradise for shy guys like me. It may be for outgoing guys who 'game', but certainly not for socially awkward types, like me.