Why would a good god do this?

[vlkmo]

Why would a good God create a person, especially men, with a sexual drive and then because of certain worldly circumstances within or not within their direct control or otherwise, that drive and desire is unfulfilled, and when he finally gets to Heaven he is told that he won't be having sexual activity or relations with the opposite sex and he won't have to even think about wanting it any more for the rest of eternity.

What bothers me a lot is that when I discussed this with other Christians, the usual argument is something along the lines of "you will not desire it anymore and be happy" but they don't understand it from the other perspective, if that makes any sense for them. Yet in Islam and Mormonism it is almost granted that men who were upset about their sex/love life or lack of would receive that exact thing in Heaven. Having grown up in Christianity myself, I'm having an existential crisis over it.

It just seems so cruel and God wasn't fair to me in this aspect of life.

[MrMan]

Why would a good God create a person, especially men, with a sexual drive and then because of certain worldly circumstances within or not within their direct control or otherwise, that drive and desire is unfulfilled, and when he finally gets to Heaven he is told that he won't be having sexual activity or relations with the opposite sex and he won't have to even think about wanting it any more for the rest of eternity.

What bothers me a lot is that when I discussed this with other Christians, the usual argument is something along the lines of "you will not desire it anymore and be happy" but they don't understand it from the other perspective, if that makes any sense for them. Yet in Islam and Mormonism it is almost granted that men who were upset about their sex/love life or lack of would receive that exact thing in Heaven. Having grown up in Christianity myself, I'm having an existential crisis over it.

It just seems so cruel and God wasn't fair to me in this aspect of life.

Well, the sexual drive is strong. I'm thinking there will be so much pleasure and fulfillment in the resurrection, after being glorified and becoming eternal beings, that we cannot comprehend in this age, that we cannot comprehend right now that it will not bother us.

i can understand the appeal the Islamic views of the afterlife would have had to early Muhammadan male raiders who went around capturing women as slaves and having sex with them. Especially those guys, being offered 70 female perpetually deflowerable virgins, and having capacity enough for them all. For men who lived like that, who were probably rather high-sex drive men to engage in such a vocation as pillaging, capturing slaves, and raping the females or taking them as wives in a society in which they had a lot of power, it must have especially appealed to them.

As a man getting into my 50's now, if I just thought in terms of my own life experience, getting the sensations of youth back and living as a young man is appealing, so such a naturalistic view of the afterlife can appeal to a lot of people. But God has something better for those who are resurrected.

We must prioritize pleasing God over gratification of sexual desires. If your main desire is to please God, then you can forgo pleasure for a season. If your main goal is to satisfy sexual urges, or if you start thinking of that as an entitlement, that's not the right attitude for living the Christian life. God is, of course, merciful. I refrained from having sexual relations until I was married in my late 20's. I actually have a high sex drive, and I know there were women who would have gone for it, too. But after marriage, I have certainly enjoyed doing this with my wife.

I wanted to marry.... to have sex, companionship, love, and eventually to have children. I prayed for a wife. Then I prayed much more intensely for a wife and I met her. We had actually been briefly introduced before we figured out, but after that first conversation, both of us suspected that we would marry, and we eventually did. And we had lots of sex, and made babies. Of course, women can get sore, may not have the same appetite, have periods, recovery after childbirth, etc.

If you want to marry, prioritize God first, and ask Him for a wife. Believe Him and trust Him to provide. In the meantime, prepare yourself to be the best husband youc an be.

[vlkmo]

@MrMan
How do I then accept the possible scenario that I might die a virgin and alone here, then? Just because we will be so fulfilled in the afterlife that we won't think of it, that still doesn't "fix" the problem from my point of view right here. The thought that someday I'll forget about it for eternity while God even created it for us here, and the thought of missing out on something for eternity, frankly it makes me very anxious and uncomfortable.

Physiologically, my own sex drive is somewhat neutered and has stabilized at a modest level. Emotionally, it still doesn't remove or replace my desire for it, that I missed out on when I was in high school until today. (Note, I had one girlfriend for almost a whole year some years ago, but for discussion sake it's aside the point and except for that I've been completely dry) I wanted and still want that girl or a person that reminds me of that girl that I was obsessed with in HS but never had anything happen with, or if I was visible to them at all. I had known a few girls like that over the years, whom happened to be very attractive, but for some reason or another, we just weren't with each other.

If it sounds entitled, I am sorry, I don't know if it's truly entitlement. But it is whatever it is.

[MrMan]

@MrMan
How do I then accept the possible scenario that I might die a virgin and alone here, then? Just because we will be so fulfilled in the afterlife that we won't think of it, that still doesn't "fix" the problem from my point of view right here. The thought that someday I'll forget about it for eternity while God even created it for us here, and the thought of missing out on something for eternity, frankly it makes me very anxious and uncomfortable.

Physiologically, my own sex drive is somewhat neutered and has stabilized at a modest level. Emotionally, it still doesn't remove or replace my desire for it, that I missed out on when I was in high school until today. (Note, I had one girlfriend for almost a whole year some years ago, but for discussion sake it's aside the point and except for that I've been completely dry) I wanted and still want that girl or a person that reminds me of that girl that I was obsessed with in HS but never had anything happen with, or if I was visible to them at all. I had known a few girls like that over the years, whom happened to be very attractive, but for some reason or another, we just weren't with each other.

If it sounds entitled, I am sorry, I don't know if it's truly entitlement. But it is whatever it is.

Are you taking any steps to find a wife? Do you have a job? Are you in good shape physically? How are you trying to meet someone?