The Newest Ambitious Loser

[Tommy]

Hello everybody,

I just registered to this site today. Since morning, I've been reading so many interesting stories here and just decided to join for the heck of it. I can relate to a lot of points here. I also like the honesty and non BS themes that this site is encouraging.

I guess I should introduce myself. Well, you can call me Tommy. I'm a skinny 21 year old college student living in WV. I was actually born in France, but my folks immigrated here when I was about six years old. I don't have that good memories of France unfortunately, but I'm still fluent in the language. I guess I should also include that I am a black male. Though I seem young, I've actually have been through a lot in those twenty one years, and I'm definitely a lot more mature than I look physically.

I've had a rough go with American women and I realized a year ago that I probably will never be able to get along with the women of this culture. I don't think the whole western dating system works, I don't think it's right. A lot of the qualities that I look for in a woman ( such as compassion, delicacy, wisdom, and patience) are nonexistent in most women I meet in this society. Look, I go to one of the biggest party school in West Virginia, and I've met and dated plenty of these women, and man, it never ends well.

For example, my freshman year, me and a group of my fellow engineering-major friends decided to stop studying for once and visit a nightclub. I should add that none of us ever went clubbing before, but we wanted to experience the college life to its fullest extend. So we go to this club, and I can barely see anything. My friends just tells me to find a spot and start dancing, which is what I did. About ten minutes into it, some random girl just looks at me and comes over and dances with me. She grinds on me, and boy, was I enticed! It felt like love at first sight. While we're dancing, I'm thinking that everything is going okay and I ask her for her number so I can hit her up in the near future. She actually gives me her number. She then leaves. I go back to my group of friends and they are all super excited that I got this super attractive girl's number, we were the geekiest group of the whole club haha

So anyway, here goes my stupid mistake...I have the girl's number and what do I do? I call her the next day. The very next day. Not text, but called. What followed was the most awkward conversation in the planet and an affirmation that this girl didn't think anything of me. I was duped. This girl gives her number as easily as I blink an eye. It didn't mean anything to her, and she probably laughed at my naive-ness. Anyway, that was the first time that I considered that I may not be fit for this whole american dating thing. I'm not blaming the girl or anything but that experience kind of scarred me.

What followed in the next three years were a total and complete demolishing of any confidence that I had that I would be able to get a decent woman. I may get into exactly what happened later but just know that it was really unfortunate.

Anyway, I'm not really looking for a wife or even a girlfriend right now, I'm almost done with my three bachelor and looking to go into grad school for a master in one of them. A woman would not fit into my life now, but it is an issue that will become persistent in the near future and has me thinking a lot. All of this thinking eventually led me here, and I see that a lot of folks have gone through similar experiences and have similar problems. I've never considered looking for women outside of the States but now it all makes sense. It's kind of ironic, considering that I wasn't born here but American women are really really misguided.

So anyway, hope you guys can welcome this young man in, and I will definitely be active in the forum trying to absorb as much info as I can.

[gsjackson]

Welcome.

The girl was probably hammered, but figuring out the American female mind is just a bridge too far. Sounds like you'll be in a good position to make a move when you get all the education ducks in a row.

[Tommy]

Thanks for the welcome.

Most of my friends have had experiences like the one I had. She was definitely intoxicated, but not enough that she didn't remember me the next day. She was just shocked that I called her...well, I guess the better word would be appalled. You would think that a woman would actually enjoy it when a guy calls them showing interest, but no, they just think it's "weird".