Rygar1 misconception (pulled from another thread)

[yick]

You're not listening to @Winston , hasn't he given you a warning already? You'll be banned and the general IQ of the board will rise once again.

[kangarunner]

Anyone who expects women or going abroad to make them happy is a fool, same as anyone who thinks money or fame will make them happy. That isn't too say these things don't matter. If these things are available, by all means take advantage of the situation to enjoy them. Happiness comes mostly from control of the mind, though diet, exercise and other health habits that affect the body are also extremely important. External things will not help if you can't control your mind or your body is not healthy.

I'm not sure what @Rygar1's job/money situation is. Maybe he discussed it in those threads with hb2345. Money is important in life and I would be very cautious about advising someone with a high paying job/business to give it up just because his personal life is miserable. Better to first save up a nice pot of savings and then make drastic lifestyle changes like moving abroad. @yick was able to combine moving abroad with a better career, but that is not always possible.

I strongly advise social dancing for Rygar1. But not tango, because it takes too long to master and the culture in USA is not amenable to tango dancing. Salsa would be much better. Focus on mastering dance skills, plus the related social skills of inviting girls to dance and dealing with occasional (or possibly frequent, in bad venues) girls who are unpleasant dance partners. These skills will be useful forever, plus he will learn a lot about himself by social dancing regularly. Salsa dancing is closely related to swing and other popular dances, so if you master one, the others become much easier. Tango is the outlier, but also far and away the best music and best dance style, IMO.

Sir, I will remind you that this is a gentleman's forum whose members consist of distinguished and honorable men having careers in medicine, law, business, and technology. In that respect, I ask that you elevate the standard of discourse to be on par with language of the higher social class (elites). As for me, I don't have much time for this forum anymore as I associate with Ivy League individuals who are involved in much more important business matters.

"I don't know what got into me."

"I do. 5 generations of large family breeding".

https://youtu.be/_IGZG_HhC0o?si=8EcPuOEyNQngZbtG&t=112

[yick]

Anyone who expects women or going abroad to make them happy is a fool, same as anyone who thinks money or fame will make them happy. That isn't too say these things don't matter. If these things are available, by all means take advantage of the situation to enjoy them. Happiness comes mostly from control of the mind, though diet, exercise and other health habits that affect the body are also extremely important. External things will not help if you can't control your mind or your body is not healthy.

I'm not sure what @Rygar1's job/money situation is. Maybe he discussed it in those threads with hb2345. Money is important in life and I would be very cautious about advising someone with a high paying job/business to give it up just because his personal life is miserable. Better to first save up a nice pot of savings and then make drastic lifestyle changes like moving abroad. @yick was able to combine moving abroad with a better career, but that is not always possible.

I strongly advise social dancing for Rygar1. But not tango, because it takes too long to master and the culture in USA is not amenable to tango dancing. Salsa would be much better. Focus on mastering dance skills, plus the related social skills of inviting girls to dance and dealing with occasional (or possibly frequent, in bad venues) girls who are unpleasant dance partners. These skills will be useful forever, plus he will learn a lot about himself by social dancing regularly. Salsa dancing is closely related to swing and other popular dances, so if you master one, the others become much easier. Tango is the outlier, but also far and away the best music and best dance style, IMO.

Sir, I will remind you that this is a gentleman's forum whose members consist of distinguished and honorable men having careers in medicine, law, business, and technology. In that respect, I ask that you elevate the standard of discourse to be on par with language of the higher social class (elites). As for me, I don't have much time for this forum anymore as I associate with Ivy League individuals who are involved in much more important business matters.

"I don't know what got into me."

"I do. 5 generations of large family breeding".

https://youtu.be/_IGZG_HhC0o?si=8EcPuOEyNQngZbtG&t=112

Have you no good advice for your fellow countryman who is having problems? You're a man of experience, why don't you help him out?

[Rygar1]

Good luck with it all!

I dont think luck will help, should I just forget about this for awhile?

Reminiscing about what you were isn't helping you now.

Staying where you are isn't going to help, you will just get older and more invisible.

I have given you a path to follow, the one I did, @Shemp has advised you too but it does need you to do something about it. If you want to vent about how terrible the current situation is for you in suburban New Jersey then there's nothing really we can help you with. If it helps, I am sure we all agree the situation is bad and it isn't your fault but it isn't changing either and no it isn't the same everywhere else.

You just wonder where did it all go wrong? Have you? Like, you're a kid, energetic, competent, popular, mentally healthy. High school years come along, and you lose some if it, but you still have alot, then your 20s lose even more. 30s and beyond, you lose alot of it. Is this what they call a mid life crisis?

Have alot of guys realized this? Say what you want about hb2345, he said something profound. That I'm very close to just withering up and dying on the inside. It's only a few years away at my age. Does everyone go through this? Every day it's getting harder and harder to get up out of bed in the morning.

I've been trying to stop blaming others, society, etc.so when you say it isn't my fault, I'm inclined to agree, but others would disagree. What do you mean, specifically? The game is rigged and I have no control over huge social forces that operate on a global scale?

I did when I was younger and then I did something about it. I understood there was a big wide world out there and that place I left was an energy sucking hole with a great big black cloud over it where people are always fighting, there is a mass depression over it and people are unhappy and since leaving I have been happier and things have become more natural and in tune with the universe, the way it should be.

Obviously you have no control over wider society and how the very few non-obese women who you like see you, there are so few of them in your country that you are always playing against the odds, so stop playing the game there - if you knew the one armed bandit in a particular bar was rigged for you to lose every time you put money in it, you would stop putting money in it, you wouldn't get depressed about it, you would go and find another bar with a fruit machine that wasn't rigged so you have a chance of winning.

You don't have control over the macro but you do with the micro - you can't change a lot of things but there are things you can change that will make a massive difference. You're on a website called 'Happier Abroad' what do you think the advice should be? Stay right there and slide into old age unhappy and single? Slide into such a depressive state where you feel like ending it?

f***ing fight it! You're a man, the descendant of your ancestors who took a chance with America. Be the person your ancestors were, it didn't work for them, they moved!

Very well put. I have a tendency, perhaps to my detrement, to analyze everything. Like, HOW did it get to be this way? If you went back 50 or 60 years ago, the scene was probably much better. How and why did it go from relatively good to bloody awful? Although interesting to dissect, I guess in the end it doesn't really matter, right? What difference does it make how or why, this is the end result.

Damn, that's really fu cking accurate how there is a black cloud hanging over people's head. Angry, miserable, empty robots. Heck, I'm like that too. I swear I'll be in my home and feel OK, and as soon as I go into the world, darkness washes over. Is it the rat race? Suburbs?