China a massive disappointment

[jonroberts]

I was in Taiwan back in 2006, and only lasted 8 months there. Now, in China, I have been here for over one year. What keeps me going is that I study Chinese (Mandarin) so at least that gives me a goal every day. Studied the summer course at a university in Guangzhou and also did a stint at a famous Chinese language school in Yangshuo, Guilin area.

In my case, what I really find frustrating is the lack of social interaction with Chinese. The conversations usually revolve around very direct questions like 'how old are you?' - 'how much money do you earn in your work?' and similar banal questions. The kind of social conversation and mixing that one gets in Europe and other parts of the world is ditinctly missing here. It is like I am dealing with a nation of people who are pre programmed to act and behave in a certain way, and sorry if that sounds like a terrible generalization.

The Chinese are inoffensive, but as a teacher here, my students only care about their grade, and nothing else. They don't care about whether they learned anything. It is just the grade and nothing else.

The culture here is one where everyone just wants to get ahead in life for the material goods, and little thought is given to other things. The lack of organization in the workplace here is always frustrating.

There are no common interests that I can share with most Chinese. As I said, I only have one friend in China - Dr Lee - a Chemistry professor at this university - and he is considered, by other Chinese, to be a complete wack job. Why? Because he thinks outside the box and behaves like a westerner. He has no similarity to most of his colleagues.

One last point - at this university - although we are only 4 foreign teachers teaching English -none of the 60 or so Chinese teachers of English - who all speak and write English fluently - have ever contacted us or made attempts to befriend us. I find that very strange and disappointing.

When I worked and taught at a university in the U.S. back in the early 90s, all the foreign visiting professors would have an American family take care of them, invite them for Thanksgiving, and basically take care of their social needs. None of that here. We are majestically left to our own devices, and the isolation can be soul breaking, especially in isolated provincial cities where people converse in a distinct, separate language, in this case Chaoshan hua.

[gnosis]

What did you think of Taiwan? I thought people were more open to Westerners there.

[Ghost]

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[Eric]

I think you are misrepresenting politeness and etiquette, for superficiality and shallowness. I'm guessing in Chinese culture, it's polite to talk about these things in public, but in personal private situations...that's when you'll really let loose and enjoy Chinese friendship and culture. I don't see them as exceptionally materialistic - although I may be wrong (I see lots of nice cars here). I see them as hardworking, humble, practical people who are very honest and are basically genuinely good people.
I've noticed they are remiss to look you in the eye or acknowledge you when walking down the street, or whatever. Coming from America, that's hard to get used to. I have to keep reminding myself, they aren't being rude - it's just not their culture.

To me, Chinese culture is miles away from the western culture. I do miss Europe, and would get back to my European roots by changing back to Europe before I ever went back to the United States. In my observation, you do see a lot of arrogance, self-centeredness and generally this insular attitude in all Anglo cultures, but in Europe there is at least other nice things to offset that. In my estimate - no redeeming ones in U.S. It is also by far, the most arrogant, insular and materialistic culture of all Anglo cultures. Sorry, that's the truth.

There are things I don't understand. I don't understand a lot of Chinese culture yet - but get a picture. I know I prefer this one to the US. I can't and have never understood the reason for arrogance, this "I don't have to do anything other than my way or f*ck off" attitude this superior attitude that infects Westerners. In fact it's not true. Where does it come from - this has bothered me forever. It can only come from two places, I think. Either it's purposely inculcated into the society as to destroy it. Or, which is more probable it's an offshoot stemming from the Jewish influence over the west for the last millenia. It's not hard to see that, which is likely more probable.

In any way, it's difficult to deal with & handle. It's hard to think about. It's hard to know what to do with once you even understand it. Sometimes, my mind asks me "which one is better", which I have to think about. Just that the two even exist and that I have to think bout them, messes with me. It would be different if, you actually WERE superior...and not just saying you were all of the time. I look around at most Americans & am disgusted by what I see. So...this attitude is very eroding. I think it's bad.
also think those at the top (mainly Jews) are disgusting, shallow human beings, scumbags and psychopaths.
My heart tells me always to go with humble. My mind, sometimes says something else.

It's interesting to see how even though Communism (Jewish influence) has taken China, going back to the 50's, the Chinese culture has essentially not been affected, but that it is slowly heading to be more materialistic, vain and shallow. They have had grips with the West for centuries...but have only relatively recently affected China. That's, at least, what makes sense to me. Anything the Jews touch they rot and destroy. They shouldn't have such big influence, and shouldn't change the world to be all like them, but have it confined to something.

[Eric]

There's nothing wrong with materialism per se, but the other dynamics + along with it in the west, feminism, racial games geared against each other, genocidal cultural attitudes towards whites....etc., etc It clearly has no benefits and becomes a completely impossible situation to play in or win at. Even if you do "play and win"...what benefit or reward is there to living in a feminist society that hates you because of your skin color. Many of the cultural things are what drive people to make money and be happy. Without that, there is just making money & the only ones who want to do that are generally psychopaths. Hence, that's why the USA is generating so many psychopaths and people with psychopathic traits - it is rewarding this behavior.

It would be different if you could live in a materialistic culture, without all the culling of everything & death culture designed to absolutely destroy you in the West. In fact that might be awesome, but it's too good to be true. Remember, nobody actually wants you to succeed. Only the Jews. And you can bet, if they're pushing materialism there's a reason for it - and not for you to be rich.

[chanta76]

Not sure if I agree that materialism is something that the jews imported to China. Asian people always believed in status and title and position. Yes, wealth is big overthere and money. If you look at Chinese history they always looked at status and class.

[Winston]

But OP,
How do you explain this video where a white guy is standing on the street talking about dating Chinese women and how easy it is to get a Chinese girlfriend if you are a white guy, and then twice during his video, Chinese women come up and cold approach him to ask what he's doing? If it's that easy to meet women there, isn't it paradise? lol

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=So0wXRR8BYU[/youtube]

[gnosis]

But OP,
How do you explain this video where a white guy is standing on the street talking about dating Chinese women and how easy it is to get a Chinese girlfriend if you are a white guy, and then twice during his video, Chinese women come up and cold approach him to ask what he's doing? If it's that easy to meet women there, isn't it paradise? lol

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=So0wXRR8BYU[/youtube]

I think the OP is mostly talking about difficulties socializing with Chinese people in general, not dating or picking up women.

[cdnFA]

But OP,
How do you explain this video where a white guy is standing on the street talking about dating Chinese women and how easy it is to get a Chinese girlfriend if you are a white guy, and then twice during his video, Chinese women come up and cold approach him to ask what he's doing? If it's that easy to meet women there, isn't it paradise? lol

He is a white guy in a suit shooting a video. It doesn't mean they want to f**k him. Hell I'd ask him what he is up to and no homo.
Also if he is who I think he is [South African dude] he has a real job, rides bikes, suits up, is young and good looking. He would do well anywhere.

I know several guys here in small town Canada who get the vag literally thrown at them. Attractive waitresses routinely give one of them his phone number with no flirting or attention on his part, the other constantly gets offers for sex from hot girls. [I've seen the nudes they throw at him.] So I guess by that logic small town Canada is also a paradise when it comes to meeting women.

[chanta76]

cdNFA,

What does those guys have that get vag thrown at them? Guys on this site believe Western women are frigid and that foreign women are much more open. But I like to know how the haves do it vs the have not?

[cdnFA]

cdNFA,

What does those guys have that get vag thrown at them? Guys on this site believe Western women are frigid and that foreign women are much more open. But I like to know how the haves do it vs the have not?

Western women are not frigid, they are only frigid towards fugly chuds like myself. It is just much easier to believe that the problem lies with them and not us.

As for what they have, I don't know. One I've met seems attractive and speaks well although he works at McD's in his mid 20's. The other I never met but was described as extremely attractive.

Also don't forget that the orthodoxy is that the 20 percent get chased. So it isn't inconsistent. Personally I think when it comes to actual dating and relationships as opposed to Tinder and one night stands that the 20-80 rule is bullshit but meh. The idea of seeing some attractive guy showing signs of wealth doing something that implies status getting approached by women who could just be curious about what is going on and taking from that as evidence that the location is a dating paradise is a woefully bizarre interpretation of the evidence. It kind of ranks up there with the "Look at all these hotties who want to date you" threads featuring obviously fake profiles.

[Winston]

But cdnfa, just because a few guys do well with american women and can get casual sex with hot AW easily, doesnt mean most guys can. Ask hundreds of guys. Most will tell you that they cannot get a date anytime they want to, if they are honest. Nothing is easy or cheap that is valuable.

[cdnFA]

But cdnfa, just because a few guys do well with american women and can get casual sex with hot AW easily, doesnt mean most guys can. Ask hundreds of guys. Most will tell you that they cannot get a date anytime they want to, if they are honest. Nothing is easy or cheap that is valuable.

And just because one guy making a video has some women curious about what he is doing doesn't mean that that most guys are going to get casual sex from Chinese women easily. Which is my whole point.
Also most guys actually do date or have relationships. Once you get in the 30's most are married or common law married. Statistically speaking that is. I actually looked it up. It is why dating after 30 is so brutal, pretty much everyone is married/common law married or in a serious relationship and those who are not are usually not for a reason.
[youtube]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H-gfxjAaZg0[/youtube]
The late teens I talk to are usually settled away in one way or another.
I suppose if you base your observations on those attracted to the manosphere, PUA groups, incel groups and this site you can get a distorted view of things. You know like how everyone gets divorsed even though only 40 percent of first marriages end in divorce and even that statistic various tremendously depending on demographic group. But nope, HA truth is that if you will marry, your wife will cheat on you with a black guy who will then f**k you when you get sent to prison for not making support payments for losing your job. It's bullshit spawned by people who think their bitter ego protecting biased observations are truth.
Hell even among the hard cases I used to play Dungeons and Dragons with, most of them are settled away pretty happily with solid women of similar looks and weight.

Are there people who have problems. f**k yeah, including myself and near universal among my social group, but I look around and see myself for the outlier that I am.

[chanta76]

cdnFA,

I have to more or less agree with you. I live in NYC. I go out..I see couples around me...young and old..I see married people here and there and I imagine there are some who are divorce and remarried. Yes, I do see single men and maybe single women but overall it's not like this where people don't connect.

However, I think people like us are growing...I think we are a growing underclass or group and it will get bigger.

[yick]

China is what it is - there isn't that western social scene or etiquette out here.

If you want an active social life and bars, then China isn't the place unless you head out to Beijing or Shanghai.

Otherwise, this place is going to disappoint.

I don't need bars, didn't go to them back home, I like to go running, do my weights, my boxing, learn Chinese, write, read - my life is pretty boring thus China suits me fine.

There's loads and loads of pretty girls, I like the food, I get left alone at work, I am never stressed - for me, it is China for the win.

But the first two years where I had a lot of 'I hate China days' it does take time to get adjusted and to settle in. In the third year, I started to relax and now I am happy as a pig in shite, do things still annoy me? Yeah, but nothing new ever happens, it is just the same predictable shite that happens once every so often - usually some cretin taking a clandestine picture of you, that is the only thing that gets up my nose, the rest of it, couldn't care less about to be honest.

The good parts about living here are good, but anyone who spends a year here and hates it needs to give it a bit more time, that would be my advice anyway. But if you are into loadsa friends, massive nights out, eating out at a different place every weekend etc - most of China is going to be a disappointment - as they say in the world of acronyms - YMMV.