Hey Older Members Any Good Advice to Find the Right Woman?

[rudder]

Don't tell me to make a ton of money so I can support a family and have my wife stay at home. That's not a realistic expectation to have of men my age nowadays.

Reading through this forum, I'm trying to find clues. Gathering all the information, it makes it sound like finding a good wife is the most difficult thing in the world. Here is what I understand:

-If your wife has a job, she won't be a good wife.
-If your wife makes more money than you, she will be a terrible wife.
-If she's overweight, then she will be mentally messed up. (Is there an exception here for foreign chubby women?)
-If she's very pretty, then she will be mentally messed up and demanding.
-She needs to be higher on the 1-10 scale than you, because the relationship will become too messed up psychologically otherwise.
-Live abroad, choosing between two options to have a source of income, (TEFL and computer nerd stuff) neither of which you're very passionate about.
-Your wife needs to be at least ten years younger. Even if you find an older woman with a great personality, you must not, under any circumstance, fall for her, because as soon as the ring lands on her finger she will immediately swell up and become a giant, land-whale hag with wrinkles, saggy boobs, and a sloppy ass.

Why not just meet a great foreign woman in the US? I mean, the US is now being overrun with foreigners, so it's not very difficult to find a foreign woman at home. A LOT of these foreign women totally resist integrating into American culture. They probably hate American culture more than most of the members on this forum.

I know, I know...if you happen to meet the love of your life in the US, then you shouldn't even think about marriage, because she isn't really the love of your life. She's just a ticking timebomb waiting to blow up in your face, divorce your ass, and continue leaching money off of you for the rest of your miserable existence. Even if she remains your wife, then the TOXIC American culture will corrupt her, and turn her into a little demanding princess dominatrix that pegs you, while she succumbs to the flattering attention of other, more masculine men.

I fail to see how these scenarios couldn't possibly also occur in a foreign country with even worse repercussions.

So this leads us to the next popular piece of advice I find on this forum: "DON'T GET MARRIED! PERIOD."

Well maybe I still want to get married, and I like the idea. Not only is it romantic, but marrying someone can also have positive political and economic side-effects.

What ever happened to the requirement for marriage just being the fact that the two of you like each other?

[kai1275]

Don't tell me to make a ton of money so I can support a family and have my wife stay at home. That's not a realistic expectation to have of men my age nowadays.

Reading through this forum, I'm trying to find clues. Gathering all the information, it makes it sound like finding a good wife is the most difficult thing in the world. Here is what I understand:

-If your wife has a job, she won't be a good wife.
-If your wife makes more money than you, she will be a terrible wife.
-If she's overweight, then she will be mentally messed up. (Is there an exception here for foreign chubby women?)
-If she's very pretty, then she will be mentally messed up and demanding.
-She needs to be higher on the 1-10 scale than you, because the relationship will become too messed up psychologically otherwise.
-Live abroad, choosing between two options to have a source of income, (TEFL and computer nerd stuff) neither of which you're very passionate about.
-Your wife needs to be at least ten years younger. Even if you find an older woman with a great personality, you must not, under any circumstance, fall for her, because as soon as the ring lands on her finger she will immediately swell up and become a giant, land-whale hag with wrinkles, saggy breasts, and a sloppy a**.

Why not just meet a great foreign woman in the US? I mean, the US is now being overrun with foreigners, so it's not very difficult to find a foreign woman at home. A LOT of these foreign women totally resist integrating into American culture. They probably hate American culture more than most of the members on this forum.

I know, I know...if you happen to meet the love of your life in the US, then you shouldn't even think about marriage, because she isn't really the love of your life. She's just a ticking timebomb waiting to blow up in your face, divorce your a**, and continue leaching money off of you for the rest of your miserable existence. Even if she remains your wife, then the TOXIC American culture will corrupt her, and turn her into a little demanding princess dominatrix that pegs you, while she succumbs to the flattering attention of other, more masculine men.

I fail to see how these scenarios couldn't possibly also occur in a foreign country with even worse repercussions.

So this leads us to the next popular piece of advice I find on this forum: "DON'T GET MARRIED! PERIOD."

Well maybe I still want to get married, and I like the idea. Not only is it romantic, but marrying someone can also have positive political and economic side-effects.

What ever happened to the requirement for marriage just being the fact that the two of you like each other?

1. IMO, true. Depends upon how hard the work is and for how long. I refuse to let my new wife work and I am very quick to tell other friends and family to stay outta my business when they try to talk about her working. Misery loves company.

2. Eh....not always. Depends upon too many things. For example, a 27+ year old rich Chinese woman from Shanghai or Beijing might be 10 times better a wife than a Western woman with the same money would ever be. No guarantee on how much power you will have though. 100% power might be impossible.

3. VERY TRUE! My exwife was this. You wont find a bigger advocate of this issue than me on HA. NO EXCEPTIONS!

4. Eh... Bonafide 9's and 10's anywhere in the world are susceptible to being a little bit demanding at the minimum. Again, stay in your lane. If you have the money, swag, good dick strokes, status, lifestyle, or some other stuff to handle a Ferrari by all means get one to complement yourself. Just make sure she is prettier than yourself. Some 9's and 10's are very well grounded enough from life, especially if they were late bloomers beauty wise. China has plenty of those. Problem is catching them before someone else does. Typically 25 and younger is a must not an option unless you get a 30+ 8-10 and good lord there are so many of those in China it isn't funny. They exist because many Chinese men are dicks and probably tried to hit them or cheat but they were too high class to tolerate that.

5. Very True. It f***s up their self esteem. Any man claiming to know ways to counter this or eliminate this is full of shit. Their woman is lying to them or just being quiet whenever they tell them they look pretty. They do not think, feel, or look pretty and clothes and makeup will not cover up fatness and trog face. Both have fixes, but one is permanent and the other requires a lifestyle change and too much work and effort for most. Also think about why they got that fat in the first place!

6. Not true. Visit DJfourmoney's thread and seek more ideas. Import and Trade, running a bar, a hotel, and other things quickly come to mind.

7. Very False. I know this is very difficult to do, but try not to look at FW as AW. It's easier said than done, but once you start interacting with them, you will eventually notice just how cynical and skeptical we as Western Men are for no good reasons and the girls are really different than the stuff we see around us in the West. Age wise, I don't think it matters honestly as long as she is younger than you. If you are 40, then a 30 something woman is fine and a 40 year old too. If you are 25-30, get a younger one. At least 5 years if you can, it really makes a difference.

The ones that come here to the US from other places are usually rich, highly educated, high society types. Chase them at your own peril because you are not the only one chasing them. Once they are here and unmarried, their stock shot up big time. Women in the US have too many options. I say bond with them over there or online, go there and date them, marry them and bring them back with you when you get sick of their country. They won't run away from you, unless you are a terrible person.

Don't buy into the fear factory many in HA perpetuate about marrying a FW and bringing them back or just marriage in general. Ask any of the guys here married to a FW and I doubt any of them would fear their wives becoming bitches just by coming to the US. If they do, they got the wrong wife I think, but that is just my opinion. Most of the anti-marriage guys here on HA have never been married and do not have even a girlfriend. Some may even be gay, eunuchs, asexual wanderers, lazy as hell, too autistic, or herbivores. If that is not your lifestyle of choice, take their advice very lightly.

[Teal Lantern]

Don't tell me to make a ton of money so I can support a family and have my wife stay at home. That's not a realistic expectation to have of men my age nowadays.

Fair enough. It doesn't guarantee a good marriage, anyway. Plenty of rich men get hosed.

[T]he TOXIC American culture will corrupt her, and turn her into a little demanding princess dominatrix that pegs you, while she succumbs to the flattering attention of other, more masculine men.

Well, there's a visual. Remind me not to ask a funny-walking married man how he spent the weekend.

Well maybe I still want to get married, and I like the idea. Not only is it romantic, but marrying someone can also have positive political and economic side-effects.

What ever happened to the requirement for marriage just being the fact that the two of you like each other?

There's a vast industry profiting from and encouraging her to cash out the moment she no longer "likes" you.
Some guys get a good wife, some guys get pushed off a cliff, and more than a few guys get offed for the life insurance. YMMV.
The short answer is: Screen as best you can and hope you get lucky.
That applies to dealing with ANY woman, foreign or domestic.

[rudder]

The short answer is: Screen as best you can and hope you get lucky.
That applies to dealing with ANY woman, foreign or domestic.

\
Well that's the bottom line right there.

The ones that come here to the US from other places are usually rich, highly educated, high society types. Chase them at your own peril because you are not the only one chasing them.

I actually had poor Mexican immigrant women in mind when I wrote that. I know what you mean though. I think your comment is especially true for Brazilians, and mostly for people that come from further away.

Ask any of the guys here married to a FW and I doubt any of them would fear their wives becoming bitches just by coming to the US.

So at what moment is the "bitch" spawned? Is it something that happens in childhood?

What I'm really getting at with this thread is gathering practical advice to be able to screen a woman to determine if she will remain faithful and loving and remain in the relationship for all the right reasons.

[xiongmao]

If you can live abroad, or have game and like the women in your country, then you can just have a succession of girlfriends.

I did a lot of dating in China, but Bangkok is starting (well already is) truly epic.

It's even harder to find the right woman here, but, hey, it's fun meeting the wrong women!

[Taco]

The best women are the opposite of what the mainstream media considers ideal.

Mainstream Media Promotes:

1. American women
2. College degree
3. Blonde Hair
4. Independently wealthy
5. Huge boobs
6. Doesn't want kids
7. Never stops talking
8. Superior attitude

What actually works:

1. Foreign women
2. Basic Education
3. Doesn't color hair
4. Depends on husband for money
5. Small money makers
6. Wants kids
7. Knows when to shut up
8. See's men as superior

Now, if you like torturing yourself just ignore my comments.

[Moretorque]

The most important thing to me is that they are awake, I do not like dumb bitches and #2 they accept me for who I am.

No woman have been able to do that so I am alone.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

The best women are the opposite of what the mainstream media considers ideal.

Mainstream Media Promotes:

1. American women
2. College degree
3. Blonde Hair
4. Independently wealthy
5. Huge breasts
6. Doesn't want kids
7. Never stops talking
8. Superior attitude

What actually works:

1. Foreign women
2. Basic Education
3. Doesn't color hair
4. Depends on husband for money
5. Small money makers
6. Wants kids
7. Knows when to shut up
8. See's men as superior

Now, if you like torturing yourself just ignore my comments.

I agree, with the above. However, your question bugs me because you need to lose the notion that there is a "right woman." There is no one right woman and you will have a life of misery trying to meet her. In actuality, there are millions of appropriate women for you around the world and your job is to find just one.

[kai1275]

The best women are the opposite of what the mainstream media considers ideal.

Mainstream Media Promotes:

1. American women
2. College degree
3. Blonde Hair
4. Independently wealthy
5. Huge breasts
6. Doesn't want kids
7. Never stops talking
8. Superior attitude

What actually works:

1. Foreign women
2. Basic Education
3. Doesn't color hair
4. Depends on husband for the
5. Small money makers
6. Wants kids
7. Knows when to shut up
8. See's men as superior

Now, if you like torturing yourself just ignore my comments.

Post of the month. Hands down.

[anamericaninbangkok]

The best women are the opposite of what the mainstream media considers ideal.

Mainstream Media Promotes:

1. American women
2. College degree
3. Blonde Hair
4. Independently wealthy
5. Huge breasts
6. Doesn't want kids
7. Never stops talking
8. Superior attitude

What actually works:

1. Foreign women
2. Basic Education
3. Doesn't color hair
4. Depends on husband for the
5. Small money makers
6. Wants kids
7. Knows when to shut up
8. See's men as superior

Now, if you like torturing yourself just ignore my comments.

Post of the month. Hands down.

The only thing I would disagree with is that I never, ever want my woman to depend on me financially. She can depend on me as long as she has a career to fall back on in case I croak.

[Moretorque]

Some people still find true love at a young age and bond for a life time but it is becoming rarer and rarer.

[kai1275]

The best women are the opposite of what the mainstream media considers ideal.

Mainstream Media Promotes:

1. American women
2. College degree
3. Blonde Hair
4. Independently wealthy
5. Huge breasts
6. Doesn't want kids
7. Never stops talking
8. Superior attitude

What actually works:

1. Foreign women
2. Basic Education
3. Doesn't color hair
4. Depends on husband for the
5. Small money makers
6. Wants kids
7. Knows when to shut up
8. See's men as superior

Now, if you like torturing yourself just ignore my comments.

Post of the month. Hands down.

The only thing I would disagree with is that I never, ever want my woman to depend on me financially. She can depend on me as long as she has a career to fall back on in case I croak.

I wont let my wife work, but she has the ability to earn if I died and I will have some money left for her in case as well. As the head of household I have to make sure I do what I can to prevent a disaster like that. That is my opinion though...

[NorthAmericanguy]

Don't tell me to make a ton of money so I can support a family and have my wife stay at home. That's not a realistic expectation to have of men my age nowadays.

Reading through this forum, I'm trying to find clues. Gathering all the information, it makes it sound like finding a good wife is the most difficult thing in the world. Here is what I understand:

-If your wife has a job, she won't be a good wife.
-If your wife makes more money than you, she will be a terrible wife.
-If she's overweight, then she will be mentally messed up. (Is there an exception here for foreign chubby women?)
-If she's very pretty, then she will be mentally messed up and demanding.
-She needs to be higher on the 1-10 scale than you, because the relationship will become too messed up psychologically otherwise.
-Live abroad, choosing between two options to have a source of income, (TEFL and computer nerd stuff) neither of which you're very passionate about.
-Your wife needs to be at least ten years younger. Even if you find an older woman with a great personality, you must not, under any circumstance, fall for her, because as soon as the ring lands on her finger she will immediately swell up and become a giant, land-whale hag with wrinkles, saggy breasts, and a sloppy a**.

Why not just meet a great foreign woman in the US? I mean, the US is now being overrun with foreigners, so it's not very difficult to find a foreign woman at home. A LOT of these foreign women totally resist integrating into American culture. They probably hate American culture more than most of the members on this forum.

I know, I know...if you happen to meet the love of your life in the US, then you shouldn't even think about marriage, because she isn't really the love of your life. She's just a ticking timebomb waiting to blow up in your face, divorce your a**, and continue leaching money off of you for the rest of your miserable existence. Even if she remains your wife, then the TOXIC American culture will corrupt her, and turn her into a little demanding princess dominatrix that pegs you, while she succumbs to the flattering attention of other, more masculine men.

I fail to see how these scenarios couldn't possibly also occur in a foreign country with even worse repercussions.

So this leads us to the next popular piece of advice I find on this forum: "DON'T GET MARRIED! PERIOD."

Well maybe I still want to get married, and I like the idea. Not only is it romantic, but marrying someone can also have positive political and economic side-effects.

What ever happened to the requirement for marriage just being the fact that the two of you like each other?

I'm not old, but I firmly believe that you will give yourself the best opportunity to find a good woman, and for her to bond with you, if she hasn't been in love before or has been heartbroken before.

If a woman has had a lot of boyfriends in the past, or if a woman as had even one really serious relationship where she fell deeply in love and it ended, just keep the girl around for fun and be her friend, but I wouldn't advise to marry the woman unless the other man died.

For the most part, women just can't move from one guy to the next in the way that men can move from one woman to the next. This is pointed out by the many stories that I hear where a woman had a great new guy/husband, but later on left to rekindle a relationship with a prior xBF from the past. It does not matter how bad the guy was to her, women still have some form of attachment to prior men they were in love with.

So find younger woman who has no past and get her to fall in love with you. Once you do that you're basically in control because you're all she knows and you're her only experience. That's ok and it's a good thing so as long as you're treating her right.

[NorthAmericanguy]

Some people still find true love at a young age and bond for a life time but it is becoming rarer and rarer.

Yea, that's because young people today are having so much sex with different people that it makes it hard for them to bond with one person over the long haul.

College, unfortunately, is really the environment where young people loose their innocence and loose their ability to bond with another human being on a more intimate level I think.

All the drugs, sex, and alcohol that goes on in college either rivals Bangkok or exceeds it, at times. I felt more safe in a red-light district in Bangkok then I did waking into a frat party here in the States. After 4 years of sleeping around and getting wasted that's more then enough time to permanently change a person and make them less empathetic.

[Mystery Writer]

Here's something nobody seems to talk about: are you a giver or a receiver? In every relationship that works over time, one person loves and the other person is loved. It's like right and left hands -- equal, but not the same.

If you try and pair up with someone who is like you, it's like having two left hands (or right hands). If you're both the one who is loved, you'll spend forever waiting for the other person to love you. If you're both the one who loves:

"I love you."

"I love you more!"

That stuff gets old in a hurry.

Figure out which you are, and find your complementary type. For the record, I am he who is loved.

HTH