How do I get a motor for life?

[Rygar1]

Hey everyone,

I've alluded to this in another thread, but I want an entire topic devoted to this issue and get others perspectives.

Basically, most of my adult life, maybe even before, I've lacked what could best be described as a 'motor' for many aspects of life. This problem only seems to be getting worse with age, and I don't want this to be the rest of my life. I feel like others have this internal, ongoing sense of fuel or drive for pursuing the things they want in life, while I just sit passively and hope they come to me(they dont) counseling hasn't really seemed to help, and I'm not sure what will.

It's like, how do you have this 'drive'for things? If you don't have it, how do you acquire it. I mean, physically, I want sex, for example, but mentally I just can't ever seem to muster up enough willpower to 'actually take action and meet real women. I just don't have this emotional drive for some reason. How doni get it? What thoughts should I think? What baby steps can I take? I wanna get laid dammit!

[MrMan]

Well maybe you should just work hard to scrape up the emotional energy to find a woman to marry. Then she can help with the drive. Especially if you have children, you will need more money. Hopefully that produces some motivation.

Don't have any curtains? You can just turn the light off, but if you have a wife, she'll say, "We should get some curtains. Do you want to go curtain shopping? How about if i just go buy some curtains.

So instead of hiding on the coach in your underpants hoping that the neighbors don't peak at you while you watch TV, you are on a ladder, hanging curtains, and then you have curtains.

Then she says, why don't we get a house? You think, "I'll have to earn some extra money if I do that" so you work overtime or get a side gig.

[yick]

That is your problem - you will die a virgin and nobody will care - so you have to find the energy for the journey.

In Thailand or the Philippines, you can have sex the day you land. Sex isn't hard to get hold of if you spread your net out wide. If you mean 'I don't want to be happier abroad, I want to find a hot woman in buttfuck hill Arkansas' well, you have to be competitive with the men around the ville, get in shape, dress better, smell better, be more interesting - a long project for some men but it can be done.

[Shemp]

Desire is the motive power of the universe. In Astrology/Tarot, desire is symbolized by the element Fire, which manifests as action in the material world or element Earth, and perceptions by the mind or spiritual world symbolized by element Air, giving rise to pleasure/pain and inner change (element Water), thereby creating new desires. As we grow old, the inner fire weakens but it is always there in some form until we die. Even those near death still want to breathe, among other basic desires, until they actually are dead.

Because the mind is a labyrinth of distorting mirrors, it is common to confuse real versus false or implanted desires. There is no easy way to tell true from false. Often we only recognize desires as false after putting great effort into satisfying them. Christians like MrMan engage in magic ceremonies (reciting incantations from their book of spells, eating magical bread/wine which has supposedly been converted into flesh/blood of some god who lives in the sky, etc) at their churches to exorcize false desires and uncover true desires. Magic is very effective with primitive minded people. Study of Astrology and Tarot is better than magic for more developed minds.

You wrote that you want sex. So that is Fire, unless it is a false desire.This desire should lead to Earthly phenomena, meaning action by you in the material world.

[Shemp]

Some more ideas:

1) If you plan to use Tarot to deal with your malaise, the Crowley Thoth deck is the only deck for beginners. The Golden Dawn deck is useful for adepts but not beginners. Avoid the corrupt Rider Waite deck.

2) Astrology by Ronald C. Davison (1964) is a good introduction to that science.

3) For both astrology and tarot, the exoteric or publicly revealed version is silly. Only the esoteric or hidden meaning version is valuable. You must discover the esoteric version for yourself by study of the silly exoteric version.

4) You might be demon possessed and the demon is either causing you to be obsessed with how how many times other people have sex, or the demon is stifling your own sex drive. In either case, you need to expel the demon by some means or other..

5) I highly recommend Taoist Secrets of Love -- Cultivating Male Sexual Energy by Mantak Chia (1984). This is the only Mantak Chia book I recommend. The others are confused whereas this one is clear.

[Rygar1]

Some more ideas:



4) You might be demon possessed and the demon is either causing you to be obsessed with how how many times other people have sex, or the demon is stifling your own sex drive. In either case, you need to expel the demon by some means or other..

OK, this IMMEDIATELY jumped out at me. I had a friend many years ago, Shane, who said those exact words! "Sounds like you got some inner demons, there, bud." Fair enough. I'm pretty open
minded, but I don't know alot about them. How did they manifest? Why do I have them? Most importantly, how do I rid them?

I've said before this relative lack of sex drive spills over into other areas as well. I've never really been 'career' driven either. I've only had a job for six months at a time before leaving because they get so boring. I live at home and am chipping away at an inheritance my deceased father left me many years ago. I'm in pretty good shape I guess, but this lack of motor- Ness seems to be present most of my waking hours.

I was formally diagnosed as ADD by a psych in my late 20s, along with mild depression. Not surprisingly l I got some meds for it, but it didn't really help all that much. Ritalin wore off so quick, and Adderall was better, but man it was expensive. I'm not really sure about the diagnosis, either. Most experts SAY ADD is a lifelong thing, since childhood, there is no such thing as 'adult onset add'. And I definitely didn't have it as a youngster. Good grades, calm, etc.

I've also taken a few different so called 'antidepressants' over the years, again with no real effect on behavior or mental health. I've gone to a couple of counselors for these issues, but yet again, never seemed to provide any discernable benefits. I've entertained the possibility of autism, but never bought it up. I do seem to have alot of traits.

Inner demons, huh? Seems likely. Let's expell them!

Are you really 64?

Thank you gentleman.

[yick]

4) You might be demon possessed and the demon is either causing you to be obsessed with how how many times other people have sex, or the demon is stifling your own sex drive. In either case, you need to expel the demon by some means or other..

I remember when my depression lifted because I remember two - I will describe them as dark shadows lifting over me when I was half awake one morning in 2016 and I had years of depression. Things could emotionally trigger me, songs, events, past thoughts and I was in the circle of self-hatred, destruction and loathing, living an unproductive life.

I think there are many things that are utterly toxic to the human psyche - foods, alcohol, drugs and places - which is why many Afro-Caribbean people in the UK and especially men are overrepresented in the numbers taking anti-psychotic drugs because there not meant to be there, they're vulnerable to bad juju entering their lives because they're not meant to be there - same as me, part of my 'depression' was because I wasn't meant to be there and once I left, the spirits left (it took a long time though) - people live in the US but it isn't their land which is why many are unhappy there - sure some are happy but with bad food, drugs and alcohol, the only things that keep them sane whilst living there. It's funny many Jews leave that country, take a paycut and a lifestyle downgrade to make Aliyah in Israel because that is where they are meant to be.

You can be British and still find the UK toxic - when I leave and go to South America then my spirit lifts immediately and it has nothing to do with money or standard of living - things work more 'normally' for me there, I can get beautiful women, people respond to me better. People wonder why you can eat junk food until you are stuffed and that is because you're eating for your demons and they want more, they want more booze, more drugs and it is never ever gets to a point of satiety.

The moment I left the UK then things got better and now I believe that my 'depression' were bad spirits living inside me, some people are beyond help though, with all the drugs, alcohol, bad eating etc - they probably have ten or more spirits to expunge.

[Shemp]

@Rygar1:

Yes, I'm 64.

The thing to understand about psychologists is that they are fundamentally not different from witch doctors or priests or other spirit workers, except they are approved by society and they charge more money. With respect to all those drugs they prescribed, yes, drugs affect the mind but they don't cure mental illness any more than alcohol or caffeine, both of which give an exhilarating temporary mental boost followed by crash afterwards. Mental illness, by definition, is illness of the mind, not illness of the body, so treating the body, which is what drugs do, only has a superficial effect on the mind.

To truly fix mental problems, a change of the inner workings or thinking of the mind is required. This is the what the talk part of psychology does, but psychology is not particularly effective at changing the working of the mind, IMO, which is why I recommend astrology, alchemy or magick. Tarot includes all of astrology (court cards), alchemy (trumps) plus Jewish kaballah (numbered cards). Magick is action in the material world to cause change to the mind. For example, those rites and incantations Christians do in their churches constitute magick, as does voodoo or even everyday rituals like morning exercises (because discipline of the body causes discipline of the mind).

Astrology is the best organized form of spiritual wisdom, so the least likely to lead a person astray. The important things to understand about astrology are: 1) 12 signs represent stages of personal development, and the association with stars and the idea that we ARE the sign we were born under is the silly part of astrology; 2) 12 houses are just reformulation of the 12 signs and there should also be 12 planets but the silly exoteric version uses 7 because that's all they knew about originally, but if there were 12 planets they would also be same 12 concepts as the signs; 3) our initial state is pre-Aries and our goal state is post-Pisces; 4) there is not necessarily linear progress from Aries to Pisces but rather we can skip stages or fall back.

One common problem is that people want to skip the hard work of Capricorn and Aquarius (accomplishment and building firm structure in the material and spiritual realms) and jump ahead to Pisces, which is where we let go of our accomplishments and prepare to die. This jumping ahead manifests as weakness of mind, which is why the bad version of Pisces is associated with prisons, lunatic asylums and homelessness. You may have this mental weakness issue because you've drifted too much in life. Inner energy comes from the early Aries and Taurus stages but can be blocked at various points. Virgo is a common blockage point, associated with bodily illness due to failure to properly balance demands of the individual and society. Libra and Scorpio fix this imbalance, if these stages are done properly.

Aleister Crowley was a great thinker but very unbalanced and definitely demon possessed. He ran through a huge inherited fortune and was reduced to earning money in old age by selling pills composed of his own semen mixed with goat turds, sugar and corn starch. So be careful of him and his Tarot cards, even though they are very powerful and what I use primarily. Astrology is much safer.

[Shemp]

I remember when my depression lifted because I remember two - I will describe them as dark shadows lifting over me when I was half awake one morning in 2016 and I had years of depression. Things could emotionally trigger me, songs, events, past thoughts and I was in the circle of self-hatred, destruction and loathing, living an unproductive life.

So in your 40's. Very typical to have a crisis in mid-life. I was a very troubled young man, constantly engaging in dangerous activities that could have destroyed me though somehow I always managed to escape without harm. Then in my late 30's, I became sex obsessed while living in San Francisco, and that might also have ruined me with some miserable marriage (because none of these women I was seeing was suitable for marrying). Luckily, that was also the time when i discovered Tarot and Astrology and Taoist Sexual Kung Fu at a bookstore in the Tenderloin neighborhood where I was living then. That was when my mind finally cleared itself up from all the nonsense my parents and society had stuffed me with and that was causing me to act crazy. Around age 41 (year 2002), I left all my previous craziness behind and moved to Reno and have been calm, sane and hsppy ever since.

[Rygar1]

@Shemp

Thank you for that detailed reply. I certainly can relate to the shortcomings and disappointments of the traditional, western bio-psycho-social mental health model. I'll go a step further and add that some of the common drugs prescribed for these 'issues' really don't even work that great. SSRIS, for example, the main class of antidepressants, really aren't that much better than placebos. Psychotherapy, in theory, helps with these inner mental issues, but just didn't really seem to have a noticeable effect on me. The exercises seemed simplistic and redundant.

Yes, I totally agree that a somewhat radical transformation of the inner workings of the mind is indeed needed to bring about real change. There's just some kink in one's thinking, either consciously or subconsciously that is the root cause of these issues. I don't doubt, for example, that our childhood experiences shape our adult experiences, to some extent of another. It's not too far fetched to say a bad relationship with our angry, controlling mothers would color our views on how we see potential mates. A guy who grew up in a very supportive, gentle, loving environment is gonna have a different worldview than one who grew up in a house where the parents fought and argued, and there was just this negative energy field in the air. With my experience favoring the latter.

I dont know a lot about astrology and tarot, but you seem pretty passionate about it. I only know I'm a libra for example. How can you study this to change your life? I didn't think it was directive, just entertaining. The inner demons thing was relatable. How can I get rid of them? Hkw can I use the astrology and tarot to change my life?

I just think of myself as a 'lazy' person. Do you? I don't have drive or ambition for many areas of life. Should a person just stoically accept these things? I'm fairly good looking, but I just don't have the drive my peers have of going from point a to point z, and all the necessary action steps in between.

It may have been different for people of your generation, but most of the studies suggest we're having less, perhaps way less, sex than previous generations did. 1000s of times is insane. I don't really see many people in my generation and younger doing it as frequently as that. So there may be some innate generational issues there. We're you always this way? Did your study of astrology and tarot influence this? Curious to know.

[Shemp]

@Shemp
It may have been different for people of your generation, but most of the studies suggest we're having less, perhaps way less, sex than previous generations did. 1000s of times is insane. I don't really see many people in my generation and younger doing it as frequently as that. So there may be some innate generational issues there. We're you always this way? Did your study of astrology and tarot influence this? Curious to know.

I really think you need to get a calculator to see that having sexual intercourse 1000's of times is quite normal. Over 40 years, that amounts to 25 times /year. That's absolutely nothing. Plenty of happily married young people have sex twice daily for a few years. I had sex 2-4 times/day with various girlfriends during our few months together. Anyway, it's just a number. If you love long enough, all numbers get huge (hours you've slept, meals you've eaten, etc).

It is true that society has changed not to emphasize children, which is the biological reason for mating. So if women don't want children, they won't be too keen on relationships or sex with men. A woman who just wants orgasms can use a vibrator. And likewise men who don't want children won't work too hard to find the women who do want marriage and children. There are still some men and women who want children and their descendants will inherit the earth and bring things back into balance.

I never wanted children but I was demonically obsessed with sex in my 30's. After about age 45, I started paying girls, probably more just from perverted curiousity about prostitution than because I still craved sex with women. I make very little effort anymore to pursue women for sex, though I still enjoy social dancing with women.

And no, you are not a Libra. You were born when Sun was in that group of stars relative to Earth, which means nothing. This is the silly version of astrology. I can say no more. The esoteric wisdom is always available, but only understandable by those meant to understand it.

[Rygar1]

@shemp

Fair enough. The numbers certainly add up. It's just that when you've had it a scant 10-15 times or so, thousands or so seems incredible. You have to see that.

Growing up, I was quite normal. I played sports, fooled around, drank, did drugs, but I dunno...I just never seemed to have thisn'normalcy'for strongly pursuing women. Friends and family would say, "you never go to dances, I've never seen you with a girl, etc." Is it a subconcious trust issue? I just don't really get good vibes from them. Do you agree?

If it really is just a matter of changing the inner workings of the mind, how do we go about it? What resources are available?

Where do i study this esoteric wisdom you mention? What resources are available?

[Rygar1]

BTW, I'm a sun in the sixth house.

[Shemp]

Esoteric wisdom is encoded for 2 reasons: 1) adepts capable of understanding it are few and widely distributed in time and space, with no easy way of meeting one another, especially prior to the invention of the printing press and widespread availability of books, however by encoding the wisdom in a silly version that appeals to the masses, the wisdom is always available to beginning adepts; 2) esoteric wisdom is for the benefit of the individual rather than society, so will typically be suppressed by the authorities, but if the wisdom is encoded in a silly form, then the authorities are reluctant to suppress it because then they look silly themselves by taking something silly seriously.

In a previous comment, I recommended an astrology book (though any comprehensive astrology textbook will work) and the Crowley Thoth Tarot deck (only the Crowley deck is acceptable for beginners). Study these carefully. If you are an adept meant to receive the wisdom, then you will eventually see the hidden esoteric meaning behind the silly exoteric version. Otherwise, you are not meant to receive this wisdom. Try something else instead, maybe Buddhist or Chinese (Taoist) wisdom, which is not so deeply hidden as the Western wisdom.

[Rygar1]

I did an online "reading" for a birth chart yesterday, and it revealed that I was sun in the sixth house, as well as a moon in sagittarius. I'm not really sure how any of this can translate into changing your life, however. It's not really 'directive' in any sense. It doesn't say, "OK, do this, do that, etc."

I quite agree with your assessment of that true wisdom isn't going to be widely distributed to the masses for a number of reasons, chief among them most folks don't really have the intellect or soul to comprehend it. Not only that, but as you correctly point out, true wisdom is for an individuals benefit, not societies. In my opinion, the two entities are diametrically opposed to one another, with an inverse relationship between the variables.(i.e. what's good for society is often not good for individuals, and what's good for individuals isn't often good for society).

I am familiar with Buddhist thought, to some extent. I haven't really delved into it that much, but I was pretty impressed with the core themes. Desire, suffering, attachment, etc were very relatab,e to human existence. I don't know how 'official' the Stanford encyclopedia of philosophy is, but seemed to be a good starting point.