Repatriate, how do you talk around mainstream people?

[Winston]

Repatriate,
I have a curious question for you. Since you are like me in that you are brutally honest, direct, truthful, no-nonsense, no bull, tell it like it is, insightful, and don't hold much back, how do you act when you are around a mainstream type group of friends or acquaintances having a polite conversation during an outing or social gathering?

I mean, you know that these mainstream types are used to only hearing polite politically correct things in a conversation. So how do you hold back your honest brutally truthful self? Do you have to restrain it? What do you do? Doesn't it feel kind of constrained to have to hold back your honest thoughts on things around others?

You know that many mainstream people don't like too much honesty or truth, and will be turned off by too much blunt honesty, and will even avoid you if you're like that. So you can't be that way around mainstream people or else many of them will be scared off for some reason.

So how do you deal with that? Do you hold back and act like someone else? Can you put on the persona of a polite politically correct guy if you have to? If so, how long can you do that before your true self comes out? lol

[Repatriate]

Repatriate,
I have a curious question for you. Since you are like me in that you are brutally honest, direct, truthful, no-nonsense, no bull, tell it like it is, insightful, and don't hold much back, how do you act when you are around a mainstream type group of friends or acquaintances having a polite conversation during an outing or social gathering?

Well there's a time and place for everything it's just basic social skills. I'll gauge what the mood is around me and throw in a little small talk here and there to see what they are interested in. If there's common ground then you can steer convos into a variety of interesting topics without being argumentative or intrusive. I read a lot, watch a lot of films, have traveled quite a bit, and have some interesting hobbies like scuba diving. Usually there's always something to talk about provided that the people aren't arrogant or condescending douche bags. There's ways to handle people like that too.

If i'm around a bunch of totally fickle and sensitive snowflakes i'll keep it light and respectful. I don't like hanging around a bunch of those people anyhow unless I have my eyes on a particular girl in the group or there's some other self interested reasons involved.

I don't feel like i'm "pretending" when i'm doing this either. You can be frank about your opinions but not rude and overbearing as well. Sometimes you just have to play this game with people until you or they believe you're in the comfort zone. I've gotten to know people who were uptight initially who were nothing like what I thought they were later on. The reverse is true too, open and "free" acting people can be the most insecure, superficial, and overcompensating people. This goes for both men and women and just depends on the individual.

In a way Thailand has helped me read people better. Thais wear a superficial exterior 99% of the time and even when they are all smiles and laughs some of them are quite nasty underneath it. It doesn't take too long for me to suss out whether they are pricks or not. These duplicitous type personalities are very similar to how some Americans act except Thais are even more passive-aggressive.

[Winston]

Yeah well I can pretend to be polite too. But it's just so boring pretending to be superficial and polite all the time isn't it? It's like no one has anything interesting to say. I feel restless after a while if I'm in that situation.

You certainly can't talk the way you do on this forum, around mainstream groups of people. lol. That's for sure. lol

[Twobrains]

Just throwing in some random thoughts, having been a 'blurter' much of my life

Maybe it's best to think what you can give to the social group rather than take from it?

Some groups are happy to be challenged and others will nigh-on lynch you for spoiling their mood (as they see it). Telling one from the other becomes fairly easy, eventually. Just ask yourself: how much do these people have invested in the values you're about to challenge? I'm not advising quietism - sometimes it's fun to sail close to the wind, but don't expect to be popular with everyone.

You'll have more success changing people's opinions if you appear to be Mr Normal at first, gain their confidence and then slowly let the zingers loose.