The way people meet in other countries vs. in America

Discuss culture, living, traveling, relocating, dating or anything related to North America. For those looking to relocate within the US or Canada, discuss your experiences and pros/cons of each domestic region.

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BlueEverglades
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The way people meet in other countries vs. in America

Post by BlueEverglades »

I have been browsing a russian social networking site known as vk.com . There's this group for married people and how they met each other. I was surprised to learn people meet, engage in conversation, later on a relationship and finally married or long term in simple places and simple ways that IN THE U.S WOULD NEVER HAPPEN AT ALL!

For example many couples do not meet at discos or even through friends but through change encounters at the bus stop, at a store (somebody that opened a door for her) at a train, at a park, a restaurant, running in the morning, at a concert, college, any school, wrong phone number (yes even like this) at the gym, football game, art gallery, at work, in the streets, I GUESS ANY PLACE WITH PEOPLE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN IT WILLING TO TALK TO EACH OTHER WITHOUT ANY STUPID PARANOIA AND WITHOUT SHAME.

A minority actually met in the internet or discos or through friends everyone else was chance encounter...


Now how many times can you go to any of these places mentioned above in the U.S and actually meet somebody? I guess we all know the answer to that. Whether you are male or female just hanging out in any of these places does not guarantees you will meet someone worthwhile yet people around us still recommend that we visit these places.

In fact when go you go to an art gallery people are focused on the art, when you go to a game everyone is focused on the game, at a restaurant everyone is eating. At school everyone is busy studying, at the park people are just relaxing and so on. How the puck do you meet somebody then? is leaving the country always the solution?

Has natural places become unnatural to speak to each other?


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pete98146
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Re: The way people in other countries meet versus the U.S wa

Post by pete98146 »

BlueEverglades wrote:
Has natural places become unnatural to speak to each other?
Sadly this is the norm for the US. People have an unnatural fear of talking to strangers whereas they don't in other countries. I'll give you an example. I was lucky enough to spend a few weeks down in Rio approx. 10 years ago. My friend and I went out to eat and party one night. We got back around midnight and we weren't quite ready to go up to the hotel room. We were staying right on Ipanema Beach where the native Brazilians play soccer darn near 24 hours a day.

So we were walking bye a group of folks playing soccer. They yelled at us, "hey guys come on over and play some soccer and have a beer with us." We did and had a blast. Although we were complete strangers, they welcomed us into their group without hesitation. THAT'S how people in other countries meet! There are no silly little games to play like we do here in the States.

This was only one example of many that I've had visiting overseas. Too bad so many Americans have a huge stick up their ass.
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jamesbond
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Re: The way people in other countries meet versus the U.S wa

Post by jamesbond »

BlueEverglades wrote:I have been browsing a russian social networking site known as vk.com . There's this group for married people and how they met each other. I was surprised to learn people meet, engage in conversation, later on a relationship and finally married or long term in simple places and simple ways that IN THE U.S WOULD NEVER HAPPEN AT ALL!

For example many couples do not meet at discos or even through friends but through change encounters at the bus stop, at a store (somebody that opened a door for her) at a train, at a park, a restaurant, running in the morning, at a concert, college, any school, wrong phone number (yes even like this) at the gym, football game, art gallery, at work, in the streets, I GUESS ANY PLACE WITH PEOPLE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN IT WILLING TO TALK TO EACH OTHER WITHOUT ANY STUPID PARANOIA AND WITHOUT SHAME.

Now how many times can you go to any of these places mentioned above in the U.S and actually meet somebody? I guess we all know the answer to that. Whether you are male or female just hanging out in any of these places does not guarantees you will meet someone worthwhile yet people around us still recommend that we visit these places.

In fact when go you go to an art gallery people are focused on the art, when you go to a game everyone is focused on the game, at a restaurant everyone is eating. At school everyone is busy studying, at the park people are just relaxing and so on. How the puck do you meet somebody then? is leaving the country always the solution?

Has natural places become unnatural to speak to each other?
Welcome to the social scene in the United States, where talking to strangers and meeting people in natural settings is prohibited. :lol:

Seriously though, Winston and others have proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that the social and dating scene is MUCH better overseas that it is here in America.

Here is a video where I compiled all the girls Winston met in his third trip to Russia. Notice how relaxed and friendly these girl where towards Winston, compared to the paranoid, unfriendly behavior women in America have towards men.

"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"

"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."
somedude
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Post by somedude »

Americans are generally too obsessed with themselves to engage in any meaningful conversation on a chance encounter. Holding a door for someone for example, you may (and sometimes may not) get the polite thanks but this is where it ends.

I miss being overseas. I felt closer to strangers, almost like they were treating me as family in comparison to the states. Everytime I had to come back to the US it literally felt like a black cloud around me after landing, everyone was so detached feeling.
---

SD
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jamesbond
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Post by jamesbond »

somedude wrote:Americans are generally too obsessed with themselves to engage in any meaningful conversation on a chance encounter. Holding a door for someone for example, you may (and sometimes may not) get the polite thanks but this is where it ends.

I miss being overseas. I felt closer to strangers, almost like they were treating me as family in comparison to the states. Everytime I had to come back to the US it literally felt like a black cloud around me after landing, everyone was so detached feeling.
What countries did you visit somedude? I have heard other guys say the same thing when they traveled to the Philippines, Mexico, Brazil and Russia. They said the people in those countries were much friendlier and sociable than Americans are.
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"

"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."
somedude
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Post by somedude »

jamesbond wrote:
somedude wrote:Americans are generally too obsessed with themselves to engage in any meaningful conversation on a chance encounter. Holding a door for someone for example, you may (and sometimes may not) get the polite thanks but this is where it ends.

I miss being overseas. I felt closer to strangers, almost like they were treating me as family in comparison to the states. Everytime I had to come back to the US it literally felt like a black cloud around me after landing, everyone was so detached feeling.
What countries did you visit somedude? I have heard other guys say the same thing when they traveled to the Philippines, Mexico, Brazil and Russia. They said the people in those countries were much friendlier and sociable than Americans are.
I have visited a smattering of European and Middle Eastern countries. They all seemed varying shades better in the social department. Would love to visit the places you mentioned, the recession and marriage (and subsequent divorce) put a temporary stop to my travels.

As has been mentioned by many, Americans are generally polite, but it's mostly superficial. In any of the countries I visited it was pretty relaxed starting a conversation with either gender (or groups), outside of bars even, really anywhere this could be done easily. It didn't matter if they were locals, expats, or tourists I never once got the "you're creepy" vibe/response for initiating conversation and/or suggesting/inviting them to an activity after having only just met that day.

Of course we have being a foreigner on our side as we generally get a mulligan card on allot of things, but looking past that, social exchanges still seem to be strides ahead of what I experience in the US, not for lack of trying either.

I try this in America and get a string of polite excuses, or even a superficial yeah lets do that sometime but when setting a time the excuses start again and it never materializes. It's very rare that I find a genuine person and get a hell yeah lets go bowling (or whatever) and actually do it, however it almost always turns into the general polite fakery. It's quite exhausting.
---

SD
abg98
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Post by abg98 »

This is funny because, from what I've heard, it's actually even more noticeable in South Korea. Plus people are also less ashamed of staring, so it can be an uncomfortable situation. Most people meet through some form of mutual friends. It might have been more noticeable to my friends because we're in the South, so people are more friendly than in other regions.
abcdavid01
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Post by abcdavid01 »

That's true. It's rough. I wish I could have stayed in China. I met cute girls at the mall. Would have asked them out, but I was leaving. So basically I've been repressing myself until I can get abroad permanently and settle down somewhere.
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jamesbond
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Re: The way people meet in other countries vs. in America

Post by jamesbond »

BlueEverglades wrote:
January 6th, 2014, 12:14 pm
I have been browsing a russian social networking site known as vk.com . There's this group for married people and how they met each other. I was surprised to learn people meet, engage in conversation, later on a relationship and finally married or long term in simple places and simple ways that IN THE U.S WOULD NEVER HAPPEN AT ALL!

For example many couples do not meet at discos or even through friends but through change encounters at the bus stop, at a store (somebody that opened a door for her) at a train, at a park, a restaurant, running in the morning, at a concert, college, any school, wrong phone number (yes even like this) at the gym, football game, art gallery, at work, in the streets, I GUESS ANY PLACE WITH PEOPLE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN IT WILLING TO TALK TO EACH OTHER WITHOUT ANY STUPID PARANOIA AND WITHOUT SHAME.

A minority actually met in the internet or discos or through friends everyone else was chance encounter...


Now how many times can you go to any of these places mentioned above in the U.S and actually meet somebody? I guess we all know the answer to that. Whether you are male or female just hanging out in any of these places does not guarantees you will meet someone worthwhile yet people around us still recommend that we visit these places.

In fact when go you go to an art gallery people are focused on the art, when you go to a game everyone is focused on the game, at a restaurant everyone is eating. At school everyone is busy studying, at the park people are just relaxing and so on. How the puck do you meet somebody then? is leaving the country always the solution?

Has natural places become unnatural to speak to each other?

In the USA there is no 'chance encounter' when it comes to meeting people. Most people in America meet through friends, a small percentage meet through online dating and an extremely small percentage meet at bars or parties.

It's estimated that only 1% of men have ever cold approached a woman in United States. So chance encounters at grocery stores or bookstores will almost never happen. Talking to strangers in the US is considered taboo and socially unacceptable, that's why most men never do it and women in the US of course will never initiate a conversation with a man.
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"

"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."
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jamesbond
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Re: The way people meet in other countries vs. in America

Post by jamesbond »

BlueEverglades wrote:
January 6th, 2014, 12:14 pm
I have been browsing a russian social networking site known as vk.com . There's this group for married people and how they met each other. I was surprised to learn people meet, engage in conversation, later on a relationship and finally married or long term in simple places and simple ways that IN THE U.S WOULD NEVER HAPPEN AT ALL!

For example many couples do not meet at discos or even through friends but through change encounters at the bus stop, at a store (somebody that opened a door for her) at a train, at a park, a restaurant, running in the morning, at a concert, college, any school, wrong phone number (yes even like this) at the gym, football game, art gallery, at work, in the streets, I GUESS ANY PLACE WITH PEOPLE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN IT WILLING TO TALK TO EACH OTHER WITHOUT ANY STUPID PARANOIA AND WITHOUT SHAME.

A minority actually met in the internet or discos or through friends everyone else was chance encounter...


Now how many times can you go to any of these places mentioned above in the U.S and actually meet somebody? I guess we all know the answer to that. Whether you are male or female just hanging out in any of these places does not guarantees you will meet someone worthwhile yet people around us still recommend that we visit these places.

Has natural places become unnatural to speak to each other?

Like Winston has said, talking to strangers in the US is considered taboo. For example, a guy cold approaching women is considered weird and creepy by American women. You never see guys cold approaching women in America just for that reason, women think it's strange and creepy.

The only way people meet in the United States is through friends. In other countries you don't have to rely on your friends to introduce you to people, you can actually meet people in grocery stores, book stores, shopping malls and coffee shops.
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"

"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."
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flowerthief00
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Re: The way people meet in other countries vs. in America

Post by flowerthief00 »

Is talking to strangers not taboo in most places though? I don't see strangers meeting in grocery stores anywhere.
In Japan, talking to strangers in stores is even more taboo than in America. (which didn't stop me from doing it completely)
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