The Perfect Murder

[Pixel--Dude]

@Lucas88
@MrMan
@galii
@Yohan

In the context of an accidental murder that wasn't premeditated like the previous ideas I posted my plan for accidentally killing my wife by pushing her onto the mantlepiece would be as follows:

Firstly, I'd by some tools like a powerful reciprocating saw. Some plastic sheeting and then a large freezer. When the freezer arrives I'd plug it in and shove the wife's body inside. Then I would leave her in there a couple of days to get nice and frozen. I would pack some of her things and her mobile phone and take them to a lake somewhere and dump them in the water.

I would report her missing and say that she stormed out of the house after a severe argument. The police would take my statement and investigate her disappearance as a missing person's case.

After a few days I would lay out the plastic sheeting and get my wife's frozen body out of the freezer. I'd use the reciprocating saw to dismember her body and her head and there would be minimal blood spatter because she's frozen. Then I'd put her bodyparts into different refuse sacks. After that I'd wait until the night before bin collection day and dump her body parts in different bins around town and let the bin men dispose of her body for me.

Your spreading evidence all over town that way.

Also, I would expect the perpetrator of such a vile disgusting crime to eat the evidence. That's just to be expected with the Jeffrey Dahmer style freezer thing.

Remember that this was an accidental murder, not a premeditated one and not one committed as a compulsion like those committed by serial killers.

Evidence would be in black sacks placed in various bin bags around town. And the evidence would only be there until the early hours of the morning when the garbage truck arrivesnd crushes all the garbage, including the severed body parts of my bitch wife. It's perfect. Why dispose of a body when I can get the garbage collectors to do it for me. Plus then I just take the freezer and the saw and plastic sheeting to a tip.

My wife remains a missing person's case and nothing connects me to the crime

Since you deserve to get caught for such a gruesome act, including chopping up the corpse like that, I shouldn't tell you this, but if you spread the remains into dumpsters all over town, the chances of a garbage man seeing a toe, a finger, a severed head, etc. or getting squirted with a bit of blood as the truck crushes the remains increases, and make your plan a bit sloppier than if you had dumped her into one. Then they report it to the police who comes looking for microfibers at the crime scene, and your hacking her up like that doesn't go over very well with the court.

Or I can lime-isize this a bit, by saying remains into a bin.... rubbish man (?)...... lorry.

Digging a small hole, but 15 feet deep, putting her in there standing up, then burying a dead dog several feet above her head might work. If the police have dogs searching for a body, they get to the dead dog and just figure the dog smelled the dead dog. If happened to have access to well-drilling equipment, that might make it a bit easier and more doable.

But I may just go tip the police off about the dog trick so you get caught.

I don't think the bin men would get sprayed with blood, remember that her body will still be pretty frozen and not had time to adequately defrost efficiently. If I use thick bags so that none of her limbs break the plastic then it's highly doubtful that the bin men will manage to peek at any hidden limbs. Bin men don't generally go wading through garbage. They wheel the bin to the truck and the truck tips the bags inside and crushes them.

[MrMan]

@Lucas88
@MrMan
@galii
@Yohan

In the context of an accidental murder that wasn't premeditated like the previous ideas I posted my plan for accidentally killing my wife by pushing her onto the mantlepiece would be as follows:

Firstly, I'd by some tools like a powerful reciprocating saw. Some plastic sheeting and then a large freezer. When the freezer arrives I'd plug it in and shove the wife's body inside. Then I would leave her in there a couple of days to get nice and frozen. I would pack some of her things and her mobile phone and take them to a lake somewhere and dump them in the water.

I would report her missing and say that she stormed out of the house after a severe argument. The police would take my statement and investigate her disappearance as a missing person's case.

After a few days I would lay out the plastic sheeting and get my wife's frozen body out of the freezer. I'd use the reciprocating saw to dismember her body and her head and there would be minimal blood spatter because she's frozen. Then I'd put her bodyparts into different refuse sacks. After that I'd wait until the night before bin collection day and dump her body parts in different bins around town and let the bin men dispose of her body for me.

Your spreading evidence all over town that way.

Also, I would expect the perpetrator of such a vile disgusting crime to eat the evidence. That's just to be expected with the Jeffrey Dahmer style freezer thing.

Remember that this was an accidental murder, not a premeditated one and not one committed as a compulsion like those committed by serial killers.

Evidence would be in black sacks placed in various bin bags around town. And the evidence would only be there until the early hours of the morning when the garbage truck arrivesnd crushes all the garbage, including the severed body parts of my bitch wife. It's perfect. Why dispose of a body when I can get the garbage collectors to do it for me. Plus then I just take the freezer and the saw and plastic sheeting to a tip.

My wife remains a missing person's case and nothing connects me to the crime

Since you deserve to get caught for such a gruesome act, including chopping up the corpse like that, I shouldn't tell you this, but if you spread the remains into dumpsters all over town, the chances of a garbage man seeing a toe, a finger, a severed head, etc. or getting squirted with a bit of blood as the truck crushes the remains increases, and make your plan a bit sloppier than if you had dumped her into one. Then they report it to the police who comes looking for microfibers at the crime scene, and your hacking her up like that doesn't go over very well with the court.

Or I can lime-isize this a bit, by saying remains into a bin.... rubbish man (?)...... lorry.

Digging a small hole, but 15 feet deep, putting her in there standing up, then burying a dead dog several feet above her head might work. If the police have dogs searching for a body, they get to the dead dog and just figure the dog smelled the dead dog. If happened to have access to well-drilling equipment, that might make it a bit easier and more doable.

But I may just go tip the police off about the dog trick so you get caught.

I don't think the bin men would get sprayed with blood, remember that her body will still be pretty frozen and not had time to adequately defrost efficiently. If I use thick bags so that none of her limbs break the plastic then it's highly doubtful that the bin men will manage to peek at any hidden limbs. Bin men don't generally go wading through garbage. They wheel the bin to the truck and the truck tips the bags inside and crushes them.

Since you've spread parts all over town, the chances that one of them might see a middle finger poking out of a plastic bag or some other part is greatly increased. One of 10 or 20 of these men have to see it, instead of just one or two working with it. They don't even empty them by hand where I live. But the garbage goes to a landfill, I presume, and someone there might see the body also.

[HouseMD]

@Lucas88
@Winston
@WilliamSmith
@MarcosZeitola
@willymonfrete
@publicduende
@fschmidt
@MrMan
@MrPeabody
@kangarunner
@gsjackson
@galii
@WanderingProtagonist
@Yohan
@Voyager1
@Shemp

Hi everyone. I've been watching a lot of old Alfred Hitchcock movies lately. I think some of them are really good and have a theme of someone killing their wife and/or trying to commit the perfect murder. The characters plan these murders out so meticulously you'd think they are bound to get away with it, but they always make some kind of mistake or forget some major detail which unravels their seemingly brilliant plans.

Some movies in mind I've watched include:

Dial M For Murder


Rope


Rear Window


As a side note can we just appreciate how f***ing sexy Grace Kelly was? She's hot as f**k and I would've let her sit on my face if I even existed back in the 50s pmsl



Anyway. I wanted to tag you all here for two reasons

1. To see if you guys could recommend any other movies with similar themes. How to commit the perfect murder. And also to share opinions on the movies I shared.

2. And secondly I thought we might play a little game. For this game I want to do a hypothetical where you're trapped in a marriage with a heartless shrew who denies you sex and probably cheats on you with some Chad. She's mean to you. But divorcing her means she'll take everything you've worked for.

How would you commit the perfect murder? How would you off this bitch so that there was little to no evidence to convict you, without her body being found (or if it is found how can you guarantee it won't connect back to you)

Post your ideas. If you read someone else's idea for a perfect murder and you quote it, your job will be as a detective to poke holes in their plan, similar to how I mentioned above that these guys always forget something and end up getting caught.

How would you commit the perfect murder?

I would just take my money and book out of the country, personally. But the best way to do something like this is with nitroglycerin tablets. You put some in someone's food every day at a very small amount, then higher and higher. Nitroglycerin causes the blood vessels in the heart to dilate, and the body compensates for this by tightening them to keep a normal amount of blood flow. Do this for a couple of months until you've got them on a pretty high dose, then one day, just don't give it to them. With no nitroglycerin to push back against the body trying to vasoconstrict the vessels in the heart, they close completely, causing a heart attack. The best part is the medication is oral, so unlike with insulin or other common means utilized in these sorts of stories, there is no needle mark. And because withdrawal of a substance, rather than the substance itself, is causing the fatal outcome, no substance remains in their system to test for. Thought about writing a short story where this particular means was used, but I've been way too busy, quite honestly

[MrMan]

I would just take my money and book out of the country, personally. But the best way to do something like this is with nitroglycerin tablets. You put some in someone's food every day at a very small amount, then higher and higher. Nitroglycerin causes the blood vessels in the heart to dilate, and the body compensates for this by tightening them to keep a normal amount of blood flow. Do this for a couple of months until you've got them on a pretty high dose, then one day, just don't give it to them. With no nitroglycerin to push back against the body trying to vasoconstrict the vessels in the heart, they close completely, causing a heart attack. The best part is the medication is oral, so unlike with insulin or other common means utilized in these sorts of stories, there is no needle mark. And because withdrawal of a substance, rather than the substance itself, is causing the fatal outcome, no substance remains in their system to test for. Thought about writing a short story where this particular means was used, but I've been way too busy, quite honestly

You should probably refrain from sharing this bit of medical knowledge any further. But I can't help it that I am curious, since I'm wondering if L-Arginine could be used in the same way, or does the body limit how much nitric oxide it will convert, different from taking nitroglycerine?

[HouseMD]

I would just take my money and book out of the country, personally. But the best way to do something like this is with nitroglycerin tablets. You put some in someone's food every day at a very small amount, then higher and higher. Nitroglycerin causes the blood vessels in the heart to dilate, and the body compensates for this by tightening them to keep a normal amount of blood flow. Do this for a couple of months until you've got them on a pretty high dose, then one day, just don't give it to them. With no nitroglycerin to push back against the body trying to vasoconstrict the vessels in the heart, they close completely, causing a heart attack. The best part is the medication is oral, so unlike with insulin or other common means utilized in these sorts of stories, there is no needle mark. And because withdrawal of a substance, rather than the substance itself, is causing the fatal outcome, no substance remains in their system to test for. Thought about writing a short story where this particular means was used, but I've been way too busy, quite honestly

You should probably refrain from sharing this bit of medical knowledge any further. But I can't help it that I am curious, since I'm wondering if L-Arginine could be used in the same way, or does the body limit how much nitric oxide it will convert, different from taking nitroglycerine?

Unlikely it would work, there's an enzymatic balance in the body that prevents things from going too far from precursors alone

[MrMan]

I would just take my money and book out of the country, personally. But the best way to do something like this is with nitroglycerin tablets. You put some in someone's food every day at a very small amount, then higher and higher. Nitroglycerin causes the blood vessels in the heart to dilate, and the body compensates for this by tightening them to keep a normal amount of blood flow. Do this for a couple of months until you've got them on a pretty high dose, then one day, just don't give it to them. With no nitroglycerin to push back against the body trying to vasoconstrict the vessels in the heart, they close completely, causing a heart attack. The best part is the medication is oral, so unlike with insulin or other common means utilized in these sorts of stories, there is no needle mark. And because withdrawal of a substance, rather than the substance itself, is causing the fatal outcome, no substance remains in their system to test for. Thought about writing a short story where this particular means was used, but I've been way too busy, quite honestly

You should probably refrain from sharing this bit of medical knowledge any further. But I can't help it that I am curious, since I'm wondering if L-Arginine could be used in the same way, or does the body limit how much nitric oxide it will convert, different from taking nitroglycerine?

Unlikely it would work, there's an enzymatic balance in the body that prevents things from going too far from precursors alone

For people with heart problems, is regularly taking L-Arginine better for heart health?

If a heart attack is coming on, waiting for the digestive system to process may be less desirable than nitroglycerine.

Anyway, with some of the people on this forum, it might be best not to share your strategy. Us regular folks don't have access to your murder weapon. But actually, this could make a decent episode of a TV show, like a Quincy or Law and Order type show. Quincy was more medical as I recall. There was an episode where someone injected his victim with an air bubble and Quincy figured it out.

[Pixel--Dude]

@MrMan
@HouseMD

What do you guys think to my plan for the perfect murder? The trip to Scotland and blaming it on a serial killer? I am actually thinking about writing a book about this.

[HouseMD]

@MrMan
@HouseMD

What do you guys think to my plan for the perfect murder? The trip to Scotland and blaming it on a serial killer? I am actually thinking about writing a book about this.

Not a great plan. Once you report a person missing that you are the spouse of, you will be under heavy surveillance. If you wait to report her missing and do things first, you become even more of a prime suspect.

[Pixel--Dude]

@HouseMD I was hoping for some feedback for this murder. Do you think there is any chance this would work? And if not what do you think the fatal flaw is with it?

I write a note to the police, an anonymous note doused in gasoline stating that I am a new serial killer known as the Axe Man. In the note I state that my intention is to walk the streets at night and try each front door until I find one that isn't locked. Once I find one that isn't locked I will enter the house and slaughter anyone inside.

Then I tell the bitch wife that I'm off on a trip and take a train halfway across the country. In my case I'd travel from England to Scotland. Once there I would rent a car. I would drive said car back to England and park outside my house. I would enter the house using my house key and I'd chop my wife to pieces with the axe.

I'd take the axe, my clothes and place them in a bag. I'd fill the bag with rocks and toss it in a lake and drive the rented car back to Scotland and return it at the end of one week. The milage on the clock I would explain away as me driving around the Highlands.

It looks to the police that the serial killer just happened to check my door and it just so happened to be open. My poor wife. My heart would pump piss for her I'd have train tickets proving I was in Scotland the week she was killed. My DNA is all over the house? Of course it is! I f***ing live there! That's how I'd kill my wife. I'd chop the bitch into pieces and I'd technically be half way across the country when it happened and have the train tickets to prove it.

They will suspect the spouse, obviously. But I have train tickets proving I was hundreds of miles away when it happened. As for the issue of cameras I could always wear a disguise 🥸 with the car rental i could take some reg plates from a car at the scrap yard and put them on the rental temporarily so the reg plate doesn't match with the reg of the car I rented in Glasgow.

Whether they believed the serial killer story or not is a matter of opinion. They'd have a note from someone claiming to kill someone random. I'd happen to be out of town that week and my wife happened to get slaughtered like a f***ing heffer.

When interviewed I would make myself cry, which I'm sure I could manage if I put the right thoughts through my head. I'd say I went to the Highlands to take in the scenery and do some soul searching. If I wanted to i could do this kind of thing regular like every couple of months or something, booking the same tickets for the same train, renting the same kind of car from the same company. Etc. Of course I would keep all the proof. They would undoubtedly find my DNA in the house but of course they will.

It's so meticulously planned it's perfect! If I had a friend who I was close enough to trust with this kind of information like @Lucas88 I'm sure he could even provide witness testimonial evidence and say that he and I were hiking and driving around the Highlands during the time of my bitch wife's murder.

So what do the police actually have by way of evidence regarding this crime?

1. A note from an alleged serial killer claiming to randomly check house doors on a particular date at night and murder everyone inside the first house he finds open.

2. My DNA in the house. Nobody else's. Which is fine. Perhaps the killer has knowledge of how to cover his tracks and hide forensic evidence, but let's not focus on what they don't have, let's focus on what they DO have. My DNA proves nothing as its also my house and it stands to reason that my DNA would be found there. If my wife had an illicit affair every now and again this would only work in my favour since another man's DNA would be in the house as well. Still, my DNA in the house isn't enough to convict me.

3. They would have the car rental and mileage. If they were prudent enough to investigate this lead the car mileage would be an issue. Especially if I had reset it, which would seem suspicious by itself. CCTV footage would have several models of the same vehicle in or around the area where my wife was murdered, but as I said we can mitigate risk by changing the plates with a plate from a scrapped car. They wouldn't have the resources to investigate every car and I doubt they'd even have the wherewithal to even think of this anyway.

4. They would have testimony from my friend @Lucas88 who would provide them with my alibi. Not only that, but train tickets booked, plus CCTV footage of me boarding the train to Scotland and back at the end of my trip. I'd even try to call my wife from Scotland so that if they traced my mobile phone location data it would show I was in Scotland the whole time. I'd leave my phone with Lucas in the Highlands while I drove the rental back to England to murder my wife.

[HouseMD]

@HouseMD I was hoping for some feedback for this murder. Do you think there is any chance this would work? And if not what do you think the fatal flaw is with it?

I write a note to the police, an anonymous note doused in gasoline stating that I am a new serial killer known as the Axe Man. In the note I state that my intention is to walk the streets at night and try each front door until I find one that isn't locked. Once I find one that isn't locked I will enter the house and slaughter anyone inside.

Then I tell the bitch wife that I'm off on a trip and take a train halfway across the country. In my case I'd travel from England to Scotland. Once there I would rent a car. I would drive said car back to England and park outside my house. I would enter the house using my house key and I'd chop my wife to pieces with the axe.

I'd take the axe, my clothes and place them in a bag. I'd fill the bag with rocks and toss it in a lake and drive the rented car back to Scotland and return it at the end of one week. The milage on the clock I would explain away as me driving around the Highlands.

It looks to the police that the serial killer just happened to check my door and it just so happened to be open. My poor wife. My heart would pump piss for her I'd have train tickets proving I was in Scotland the week she was killed. My DNA is all over the house? Of course it is! I f***ing live there! That's how I'd kill my wife. I'd chop the bitch into pieces and I'd technically be half way across the country when it happened and have the train tickets to prove it.

They will suspect the spouse, obviously. But I have train tickets proving I was hundreds of miles away when it happened. As for the issue of cameras I could always wear a disguise 🥸 with the car rental i could take some reg plates from a car at the scrap yard and put them on the rental temporarily so the reg plate doesn't match with the reg of the car I rented in Glasgow.

Whether they believed the serial killer story or not is a matter of opinion. They'd have a note from someone claiming to kill someone random. I'd happen to be out of town that week and my wife happened to get slaughtered like a f***ing heffer.

When interviewed I would make myself cry, which I'm sure I could manage if I put the right thoughts through my head. I'd say I went to the Highlands to take in the scenery and do some soul searching. If I wanted to i could do this kind of thing regular like every couple of months or something, booking the same tickets for the same train, renting the same kind of car from the same company. Etc. Of course I would keep all the proof. They would undoubtedly find my DNA in the house but of course they will.

It's so meticulously planned it's perfect! If I had a friend who I was close enough to trust with this kind of information like @Lucas88 I'm sure he could even provide witness testimonial evidence and say that he and I were hiking and driving around the Highlands during the time of my bitch wife's murder.

So what do the police actually have by way of evidence regarding this crime?

1. A note from an alleged serial killer claiming to randomly check house doors on a particular date at night and murder everyone inside the first house he finds open.

2. My DNA in the house. Nobody else's. Which is fine. Perhaps the killer has knowledge of how to cover his tracks and hide forensic evidence, but let's not focus on what they don't have, let's focus on what they DO have. My DNA proves nothing as its also my house and it stands to reason that my DNA would be found there. If my wife had an illicit affair every now and again this would only work in my favour since another man's DNA would be in the house as well. Still, my DNA in the house isn't enough to convict me.

3. They would have the car rental and mileage. If they were prudent enough to investigate this lead the car mileage would be an issue. Especially if I had reset it, which would seem suspicious by itself. CCTV footage would have several models of the same vehicle in or around the area where my wife was murdered, but as I said we can mitigate risk by changing the plates with a plate from a scrapped car. They wouldn't have the resources to investigate every car and I doubt they'd even have the wherewithal to even think of this anyway.

4. They would have testimony from my friend @Lucas88 who would provide them with my alibi. Not only that, but train tickets booked, plus CCTV footage of me boarding the train to Scotland and back at the end of my trip. I'd even try to call my wife from Scotland so that if they traced my mobile phone location data it would show I was in Scotland the whole time. I'd leave my phone with Lucas in the Highlands while I drove the rental back to England to murder my wife.

They would easily be able to track you via CCTV, ring cameras, cell phone data, etc. Even getting a physical letter to them without them tracking the source of where it came from would be a challenge. 0/10, simple murder is best murder. The more elaborate you get, the more potential problems you create for yourself. The best murders are in plain sight and look like natural causes or accidents

[MrMan]

@HouseMD I was hoping for some feedback for this murder. Do you think there is any chance this would work? And if not what do you think the fatal flaw is with it?

I write a note to the police, an anonymous note doused in gasoline stating that I am a new serial killer known as the Axe Man. In the note I state that my intention is to walk the streets at night and try each front door until I find one that isn't locked. Once I find one that isn't locked I will enter the house and slaughter anyone inside.

Then I tell the bitch wife that I'm off on a trip and take a train halfway across the country. In my case I'd travel from England to Scotland. Once there I would rent a car. I would drive said car back to England and park outside my house. I would enter the house using my house key and I'd chop my wife to pieces with the axe.

I'd take the axe, my clothes and place them in a bag. I'd fill the bag with rocks and toss it in a lake and drive the rented car back to Scotland and return it at the end of one week. The milage on the clock I would explain away as me driving around the Highlands.

It looks to the police that the serial killer just happened to check my door and it just so happened to be open. My poor wife. My heart would pump piss for her I'd have train tickets proving I was in Scotland the week she was killed. My DNA is all over the house? Of course it is! I f***ing live there! That's how I'd kill my wife. I'd chop the bitch into pieces and I'd technically be half way across the country when it happened and have the train tickets to prove it.

They will suspect the spouse, obviously. But I have train tickets proving I was hundreds of miles away when it happened. As for the issue of cameras I could always wear a disguise 🥸 with the car rental i could take some reg plates from a car at the scrap yard and put them on the rental temporarily so the reg plate doesn't match with the reg of the car I rented in Glasgow.

Whether they believed the serial killer story or not is a matter of opinion. They'd have a note from someone claiming to kill someone random. I'd happen to be out of town that week and my wife happened to get slaughtered like a f***ing heffer.

When interviewed I would make myself cry, which I'm sure I could manage if I put the right thoughts through my head. I'd say I went to the Highlands to take in the scenery and do some soul searching. If I wanted to i could do this kind of thing regular like every couple of months or something, booking the same tickets for the same train, renting the same kind of car from the same company. Etc. Of course I would keep all the proof. They would undoubtedly find my DNA in the house but of course they will.

It's so meticulously planned it's perfect! If I had a friend who I was close enough to trust with this kind of information like @Lucas88 I'm sure he could even provide witness testimonial evidence and say that he and I were hiking and driving around the Highlands during the time of my bitch wife's murder.

So what do the police actually have by way of evidence regarding this crime?

1. A note from an alleged serial killer claiming to randomly check house doors on a particular date at night and murder everyone inside the first house he finds open.

2. My DNA in the house. Nobody else's. Which is fine. Perhaps the killer has knowledge of how to cover his tracks and hide forensic evidence, but let's not focus on what they don't have, let's focus on what they DO have. My DNA proves nothing as its also my house and it stands to reason that my DNA would be found there. If my wife had an illicit affair every now and again this would only work in my favour since another man's DNA would be in the house as well. Still, my DNA in the house isn't enough to convict me.

3. They would have the car rental and mileage. If they were prudent enough to investigate this lead the car mileage would be an issue. Especially if I had reset it, which would seem suspicious by itself. CCTV footage would have several models of the same vehicle in or around the area where my wife was murdered, but as I said we can mitigate risk by changing the plates with a plate from a scrapped car. They wouldn't have the resources to investigate every car and I doubt they'd even have the wherewithal to even think of this anyway.

4. They would have testimony from my friend @Lucas88 who would provide them with my alibi. Not only that, but train tickets booked, plus CCTV footage of me boarding the train to Scotland and back at the end of my trip. I'd even try to call my wife from Scotland so that if they traced my mobile phone location data it would show I was in Scotland the whole time. I'd leave my phone with Lucas in the Highlands while I drove the rental back to England to murder my wife.

They would easily be able to track you via CCTV, ring cameras, cell phone data, etc. Even getting a physical letter to them without them tracking the source of where it came from would be a challenge. 0/10, simple murder is best murder. The more elaborate you get, the more potential problems you create for yourself. The best murders are in plain sight and look like natural causes or accidents

yeah, and spreading chunks of frozen wifey all over town by putting her in multiple dumpsters makes it easier to find her. I've seen them dissolve victims in acid on TV. This nitroglycerin murder thing of yours @HouseMD is pretty disturbing since it sounds like it might work. Of course, us regular non-doctor folks can't just get this prescription stuff easily.

Come to think of it, that's one of those medicines that constricts blood vessels. There is a lot of Viagra floating around. A murderer might be able to get that out of his grandpa's medicine cabinet. Would it possible to do the same sort of thing by overdosing a man on Viagra instead of nitroglycerin. But he might look down and see the side effects and get suspicious.

[Pixel--Dude]

@HouseMD
@MrMan

So which do you think won't work? The elaborate plan to travel to Scotland with the premeditated murder idea? Or the accidental murder where I hide the body in various bins around town?

With the disposal of the wife in various bins around town why is that a bad idea? How are people going to find bits of her in the garbage when she's frozen, chopped up and then spread around town into various bins inside thick bin liners or rubble sacks? Nobody is going to just peek inside rubbish bags! People don't just do that. It's always a possibility someone might see something, but it's highly unlikely. It's more likely she'd get crushed in the bin wagon along with multiple bags of rubbish and then dumped at a landfill somewhere.

@Winston do you have any thoughts on the perfect murder? Do you think you could get away with it or catch me if you were the detective?

What about you @jamesbond? You like Colombo and a good detective movie I'm guessing. What do you think to my proposal for A) the elaborate perfect murder. And B) the accidental murder and body disposal?

[MrMan]

@HouseMD
@MrMan

So which do you think won't work? The elaborate plan to travel to Scotland with the premeditated murder idea? Or the accidental murder where I hide the body in various bins around town?

With the disposal of the wife in various bins around town why is that a bad idea? How are people going to find bits of her in the garbage when she's frozen, chopped up and then spread around town into various bins inside thick bin liners or rubble sacks? Nobody is going to just peek inside rubbish bags! People don't just do that. It's always a possibility someone might see something, but it's highly unlikely. It's more likely she'd get crushed in the bin wagon along with multiple bags of rubbish and then dumped at a landfill somewhere.

@Winston do you have any thoughts on the perfect murder? Do you think you could get away with it or catch me if you were the detective?

What about you @jamesbond? You like Colombo and a good detective movie I'm guessing. What do you think to my proposal for A) the elaborate perfect murder. And B) the accidental murder and body disposal?

Various bins around town is high risk. The more people who come in contact with frozen remains, the more likely they are to be discovered. And if she is frozen solid and she's crushed, she might not get that crushed, since she's frozen. How much of this garbage ends up in a big pile of visible garbage?

If someone goes missing, that's suspicious. You'd also be considered married for how long? Seven years? if she disappears. It's just very messy overall in a lot of ways.

[HouseMD]

@HouseMD I was hoping for some feedback for this murder. Do you think there is any chance this would work? And if not what do you think the fatal flaw is with it?

I write a note to the police, an anonymous note doused in gasoline stating that I am a new serial killer known as the Axe Man. In the note I state that my intention is to walk the streets at night and try each front door until I find one that isn't locked. Once I find one that isn't locked I will enter the house and slaughter anyone inside.

Then I tell the bitch wife that I'm off on a trip and take a train halfway across the country. In my case I'd travel from England to Scotland. Once there I would rent a car. I would drive said car back to England and park outside my house. I would enter the house using my house key and I'd chop my wife to pieces with the axe.

I'd take the axe, my clothes and place them in a bag. I'd fill the bag with rocks and toss it in a lake and drive the rented car back to Scotland and return it at the end of one week. The milage on the clock I would explain away as me driving around the Highlands.

It looks to the police that the serial killer just happened to check my door and it just so happened to be open. My poor wife. My heart would pump piss for her I'd have train tickets proving I was in Scotland the week she was killed. My DNA is all over the house? Of course it is! I f***ing live there! That's how I'd kill my wife. I'd chop the bitch into pieces and I'd technically be half way across the country when it happened and have the train tickets to prove it.

They will suspect the spouse, obviously. But I have train tickets proving I was hundreds of miles away when it happened. As for the issue of cameras I could always wear a disguise 🥸 with the car rental i could take some reg plates from a car at the scrap yard and put them on the rental temporarily so the reg plate doesn't match with the reg of the car I rented in Glasgow.

Whether they believed the serial killer story or not is a matter of opinion. They'd have a note from someone claiming to kill someone random. I'd happen to be out of town that week and my wife happened to get slaughtered like a f***ing heffer.

When interviewed I would make myself cry, which I'm sure I could manage if I put the right thoughts through my head. I'd say I went to the Highlands to take in the scenery and do some soul searching. If I wanted to i could do this kind of thing regular like every couple of months or something, booking the same tickets for the same train, renting the same kind of car from the same company. Etc. Of course I would keep all the proof. They would undoubtedly find my DNA in the house but of course they will.

It's so meticulously planned it's perfect! If I had a friend who I was close enough to trust with this kind of information like @Lucas88 I'm sure he could even provide witness testimonial evidence and say that he and I were hiking and driving around the Highlands during the time of my bitch wife's murder.

So what do the police actually have by way of evidence regarding this crime?

1. A note from an alleged serial killer claiming to randomly check house doors on a particular date at night and murder everyone inside the first house he finds open.

2. My DNA in the house. Nobody else's. Which is fine. Perhaps the killer has knowledge of how to cover his tracks and hide forensic evidence, but let's not focus on what they don't have, let's focus on what they DO have. My DNA proves nothing as its also my house and it stands to reason that my DNA would be found there. If my wife had an illicit affair every now and again this would only work in my favour since another man's DNA would be in the house as well. Still, my DNA in the house isn't enough to convict me.

3. They would have the car rental and mileage. If they were prudent enough to investigate this lead the car mileage would be an issue. Especially if I had reset it, which would seem suspicious by itself. CCTV footage would have several models of the same vehicle in or around the area where my wife was murdered, but as I said we can mitigate risk by changing the plates with a plate from a scrapped car. They wouldn't have the resources to investigate every car and I doubt they'd even have the wherewithal to even think of this anyway.

4. They would have testimony from my friend @Lucas88 who would provide them with my alibi. Not only that, but train tickets booked, plus CCTV footage of me boarding the train to Scotland and back at the end of my trip. I'd even try to call my wife from Scotland so that if they traced my mobile phone location data it would show I was in Scotland the whole time. I'd leave my phone with Lucas in the Highlands while I drove the rental back to England to murder my wife.

They would easily be able to track you via CCTV, ring cameras, cell phone data, etc. Even getting a physical letter to them without them tracking the source of where it came from would be a challenge. 0/10, simple murder is best murder. The more elaborate you get, the more potential problems you create for yourself. The best murders are in plain sight and look like natural causes or accidents

yeah, and spreading chunks of frozen wifey all over town by putting her in multiple dumpsters makes it easier to find her. I've seen them dissolve victims in acid on TV. This nitroglycerin murder thing of yours @HouseMD is pretty disturbing since it sounds like it might work. Of course, us regular non-doctor folks can't just get this prescription stuff easily.

Come to think of it, that's one of those medicines that constricts blood vessels. There is a lot of Viagra floating around. A murderer might be able to get that out of his grandpa's medicine cabinet. Would it possible to do the same sort of thing by overdosing a man on Viagra instead of nitroglycerin. But he might look down and see the side effects and get suspicious.

Oh it 100% will work and nitro is pretty easy to get if you know how to go about it. It's a common treatment for everything from angina to anal fissures. I got the idea from learning about nitro head and cardiac arrests in miners of nitro materials

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nitrogl ... 20nitrates.

There's other very challenging to trace ways to put someone down, like dimethyl mercury- if a drop touches your skin, you die a very slow and painful death that is easy to establish the cause of by a good toxicologist but very hard to trace.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dimethylmercury