The Myth and Fallacy of Social Skills (with Women)

[Contrarian Expatriate]

I think what you are describing is "emotional intelligence" which is said to be more important than IQ in getting to the top of organizations.

Emotional intelligence alone won't get you the job, since usually hard skills and a demonstrable track record are involved. Once you are in the job, emotional intelligence is one of the factors that will allow you to be a more compassionate, tactful and effective leader and, in some cases, get you that extra respect and appreciation you need to stand out and climb the ladder.

I didn't know you were such an experienced expert in rising to the top of large, institutional hierarchies.

But my point was getting to the TOP of organizations, not simply getting a job. Huge difference there....

[hypermak]

I didn't know you were such an experienced expert in rising to the top of large, institutional hierarchies.

I have studied management, I have a business and I am near top of my profession. That should be sufficient. What you got?

But my point was getting to the TOP of organizations, not simply getting a job. Huge difference there....

Yes, on that I agree. "Emotional intelligence" is kind of a vague term though. In large organisations what many people to do get to the top is exercise a very cynical and pragmatic view of "what it takes to get there": they find the best people who can sponsor their cases, they please them to no end even at the expenses of their peers and other management. Yes, they show that they can feel where the wind blows and play their moves carefully but, in a way, they keep the focus on themselves and nobody else. I would see that as more similar to "social intelligence".

[Contrarian Expatriate]

I didn't know you were such an experienced expert in rising to the top of large, institutional hierarchies.

I have studied management, I have a business and I am near top of my profession. That should be sufficient. What you got?

But my point was getting to the TOP of organizations, not simply getting a job. Huge difference there....

Oh so you "studied" management?

You don't have a business. You CLAIM that your family does (if that is even true) and if that "business" hasn't grown exponentially and into different areas in three generations, that's not exactly something to be proud of.

When you become a General Manager of your hotel, you can then come talk to me about topping organizational hierarchies. I certainly won't hold my breath waiting for that. But until then, get back in the kitchen and make yourself useful instead of opining on things you know nothing about.

[hypermak]

You don't have a business. You CLAIM that your family does (if that is even true) and if that "business" hasn't grown exponentially and into different areas in three generations, that's not exactly something to be proud of.

When you become a General Manager of your hotel, you can then come talk to me about topping organizational hierarchies. I certainly won't hold my breath waiting for that. But until then, get back in the kitchen and make yourself useful instead of opining on things you know nothing about.

See what I mean, you moron? Every time I try to reply to you in a civilised way you just have to jump back of the usual diatribe based on my profession, my family, my business skills, etc.

You are really, beyond hope. With you, any thread will immediately turn into a flame war, no matter what it is about, who started it. Then the Spencer troll jumps in with his unintelligible English and the s*it cake is baked and ready to be served!

For you one isn't even entitled to an opinion unless they're the General Manager of a hotel chain or other large organisation! Do you even hear yourself when you spit such liquid BS? In that case where does your business acumen comes from? You are a retired white collar who, if you are to be believed, had a desk job that is the polar opposite of running a business. Then you started to follow some get rich quick seminar and, all of a sudden, you're an entrepreneur ready to make billions.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

You don't have a business. You CLAIM that your family does (if that is even true) and if that "business" hasn't grown exponentially and into different areas in three generations, that's not exactly something to be proud of.

When you become a General Manager of your hotel, you can then come talk to me about topping organizational hierarchies. I certainly won't hold my breath waiting for that. But until then, get back in the kitchen and make yourself useful instead of opining on things you know nothing about.

See what I mean, you moron? Every time I try to reply to you in a civilised way you just have to jump back of the usual diatribe based on my profession, my family, my business skills, etc.

You are really, beyond hope. With you, any thread will immediately turn into a flame war, no matter what it is about, who started it. Then the Spencer troll jumps in with his unintelligible English and the s*it cake is baked and ready to be served!

For you one isn't even entitled to an opinion unless they're the General Manager of a hotel chain or other large organisation! Do you even hear yourself when you spit such liquid BS? In that case where does your business acumen comes from? You are a retired white collar who, if you are to be believed, had a desk job that is the polar opposite of running a business. Then you started to follow some get rich quick seminar and, all of a sudden, you're an entrepreneur ready to make billions.

Somehow you STILL think you’re someone whose opinions are of value to me. They are not.

If I need a good soup recipe or some meat-brining tips, I might indeed value your input. But when it comes to creating cash flow, making money, wealth management, philosophy, politics, and other subjects with which you have no experience, suffice it to say you have nothing to contribute.

If you think your “ family” coffee shop (if it even exists) generates more than my growing real estate portfolio, you deserve to stay a broke, frustrated, hotel cook in Asia.

[hypermak]

Somehow you STILL think you’re some whose opinions are of value to me. They are not.

So why are you even here, if you want to engage in debates convinced that other people's opinions are inferior and worthless to you? You just confirm whatever I and some others think, that you're just here to parade your delusions and feel all-important. What the other parties in the conversation say is irrelevant.

If I need a good soup recipe or some meat-brining tips, I might indeed value your input. But when it comes to creating cash flow, making money, wealth management, philosophy, politics, and other subjects with which you have no experience, suffice it to say you have nothing to contribute.

If you think your “ family” coffee shop generates more than my growing real estate portfolio, you deserve to stay a broke, frustrated, hotel cook in Asia.

Your "growing real estate portfolio" is as good as anyone else's, if it does exist that is. You really believe you have a monopoly of business wisdom because you went to a Robert Kyosaki seminar, or worse? You think my family and I don't have real estate, investment portfolios, tax efficient schemes etc? Again, just because you might have done something good with your money, it doesn't mean nobody else can (and does!). Endless arrogance...

Everything you write in here keep painting you as the bitter, deluded and miserable person you are in real life.

You say I have been racist by posting some random meme pics, when you have the most stereotypical images ever of Italians, of chefs, of young guys etc. Wake up call long overdue, but I am not holding my hopes high, judging on what I read.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

You say I have been racist by posting some random meme pics, when you have the most stereotypical images ever of Italians, of chefs, of young guys etc. Wake up call long overdue, but I am not holding my hopes high, judging on what I read.

No one really cares about your views on blacks on anything else for that matter. Just don’t try to come off as some forward thinking intellect, when you’ve attempted to race bait several times, even though it didn’t at all work.

I personally know that Italians are a mixed bag. Some are quite worthy of respect, and others are among the worse people I have ever encountered in life. I’ll just leave it at that.

[hypermak]

No one really cares about your views on blacks on anything else for that matter. Just don’t try to come off as some forward thinking intellect, when you’ve attempted to race bait several times, even though it didn’t at all work.

I have never claimed to be a refined intellect but I have my experience, I read, I keep myself informed and I have my opinion. So long you share them politely and with respect, neither of which you do, that's the basis for a civilised debate.

Funny we were touching on the notion of emotional or social intelligence but you seem to show no respect whatsoever for anyone's opinions but your own. Signs of a truly deluded mind, which just cannot function beyond their PC screen.

I personally know that Italians are a mixed bag. Some are quite worthy of respect, and others are among the worse people I have ever encountered in life. I’ll just leave it at that.

So are Americans, Russians, Filipinos and anyone else, Sherlock. You seem to have the bar set very high, in terms of who you can respect. If you debate with people in real life the way you do here, I have no doubts that you'll be a very, very lonely man.

Then I'll have to agree with you: the only way you can get some "attention" ("respect" and "love" are too big words) from people is when you take out your wallet. Which explains why you sound so obsessed about wanting to be wealthy: it's the only way you can have positive interactions with those around you!

[HappyGuy]

Any man who's been on a date and asked a woman 8 questions in a row (answered all by short-winded responses) and not have the female ask you a single question back knows exactly how the paradigm works.

It's similar to when people use the term "man up"; it's completely trivial because nobody can tell females to "woman up".

We should be told that more!

Italians are a mixed bag. Some are quite worthy of respect, and others are among the worse people I have ever encountered in life.

There's a historical reason for that. Many of them are lacking certain qualities we've come to expect



True Romance - Moors & Sicilians:

[Contrarian Expatriate]

Then I'll have to agree with you: the only way you can get some "attention" ("respect" and "love" are too big words) from people is when you take out your wallet.

But I thought my wealth and investment portfolio are fake and tall tales? Try making up your mind on an ego-soothing narrative please.

Which explains why you sound so obsessed about wanting to be wealthy...

Probably a lot like your obsession about the preparation of foods. The difference is I actually OWN the means to my cash flows and it just generates a whole hell of a lot more than a hotel worker's salary.

If aiming for more and more life-enhancing wealth is being obsessed, I stand guilty as charged.

[hypermak]

But I thought my wealth and investment portfolio are fake and tall tales? Try making up your mind on an ego-soothing narrative please.

Splitting hair again? Whatever cash you have to spend (or squander).

Which explains why you sound so obsessed about wanting to be wealthy...

Probably a lot like your obsession about the preparation of foods. The difference is I actually OWN the means to my cash flows and it just generates a whole hell of a lot more than a hotel worker's salary.

Really, you "owned" the government agency where you were working, on a public officer's salary? You understand that you're talking about two completely different things?

My family and I own the businesses, in all cases (but one) also the real estate the business is located, and the generated cash flows, minus costs and taxes, are far higher than your salary, or mine. Any more insights that are actually less than bloody obvious?

If aiming for more and more life-enhancing wealth is being obsessed, I stand guilty as charged.

No shit Sherlock LOL I don't know anybody who doesn't aim at more and more life-enhancing wealth. It's not your wealth-making efforts that we are criticising, it's the fact that you love to slap them on everybody's face at every occasion.

Plus the fact that you assume that, for some divine rule, you are the only one who can be successful with your investments, while everybody else is just a loser.

Plus the fact that, as it's so clear, maybe 10% of what you say might actually be true.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

Really, you "owned" the government agency where you were working, on a public officer's salary? You understand that you're talking about two completely different things?

That was over 3 years ago, and even then I was slaying it with my portfolio of properties. My salary was almost doubled at the time.

My family and I own the businesses, in all cases (but one) also the real estate the business is located, and the generated cash flows, minus costs and taxes, are far higher than your salary, or mine.

Keep dreaming.... Unless that "business" has locations drawing in revenue all over Europe, its not even in the same league.

If aiming for more and more life-enhancing wealth is being obsessed, I stand guilty as charged.

It's not your wealth-making efforts that we are criticising, it's the fact that you love to slap them on everybody's face at every occasion.

It's actually ONLY YOU who tries to wealth-shame. Don't try to draw others into your unique envy complex. And the very fact that you consider it slapping you in the face is very telling. You simply hate being reminded that you are not as successful as you think you should be.

There are plenty of other successful people on this site. They know who they are. But the losers who try to besmirch what they can't have for themselves are on the bottom of the forum, and at the bottom of life as far as I am concerned.

So if it bothers you that I discuss wealth and want other members (who are much more talented than you) to emulate and enjoy the same, too bad. I'm not going to stop bringing it up just to stop you from having class envy and hurt feelings.

[hypermak]

Keep dreaming.... Unless that "business" has locations drawing in revenue all over Europe, its not even in the same league.

LOL, always withe the continuous "dick measuring". So your "businesses" are better than anybody else's because they draw revenues from "all over Europe". 100,000 EUR of profits are 100,000 EUR of profits wherever they come from, so long they're legal and legit. My family invested in Croatia, Slovenia and Romania and we are making decent money from those investments. But we wouldn't go online and brag that those investments are "on a different league" than someone else's.

You understand how childish and stupid this bragging attitude of yours is? Maybe not, you're too proud to notice.

It's actually ONLY YOU who tries to wealth-shame. Don't try to draw others into your unique envy complex. And the very fact that you consider it slapping you in the face is very telling. You simply hate being reminded that you are not as successful as you think you should be.

There are plenty of other successful people on this site. They know who they are. But the losers who try to besmirch what they can't have for themselves are on the bottom of the forum, and at the bottom of life as far as I am concerned.

I have nothing against wealth and wealthy people, and nothing against people of more humble means, those you say are "at the bottom of life". I am shaming you for your arrogant, "holier than thou" attitude. I may well be less successful than some of the members in here, fine. And so what? Does that make me miserable, or less qualified to post in here? Of course not.

You are the one who sounds like he needs to be in phoney millionaire club to be happy, or to elicit respect. Again, one of the worst aspects of the American culture, which we Europeans are a bit more immune from: you are what you have, or better, you are what you can show off you have.

It doesn't take a German philosopher to understand that this is the root of your anxiety and aggressiveness. You just must project an image of yourself as a wealthy, successful, refined man and you won't allow anyone to stand between you and your mind movie.

And even assuming you do have all the wealth you claim you have, you such sound an aggressive, sad and miserable person, you could be the poster child for how "money doesn't bring happiness". Very few people really would want to be you, let alone envy you. You didn't notice they all comment your posts to criticise or mock you?

So if it bothers you that I discuss wealth and want other members (who are much more talented than you) to emulate and enjoy the same, too bad. I'm not going to stop bringing it up just to stop you from having class envy and hurt feelings.

It doesn't bother me that you discuss wealth, it kind of bothers me that whatever I contribute becomes the start of a toxic exchange based on your stereotypes, your gratuitous insults and your hate. You create the worst possible conditions to have a decent debate.

So, don't stop bringing it up but then don't expect people to react differently. We will continue to ridicule and criticise you and your ways.

[Contrarian Expatriate]

100,000 EUR of profits are 100,000 EUR of profits wherever they come from, so long they're legal and legit.

Are you joking? My PENSION is more than that, let alone the revenues from rents , dividends and debt notes.

Your multigenerational family business only generates 100k Euros. Your founding ancestor would be LIVID at the lack of growth and expansion. There’s no wonder you had to go find a crappy job in Asia.

[hypermak]

100,000 EUR of profits are 100,000 EUR of profits wherever they come from, so long they're legal and legit.

Are you joking? My PENSION is more than that, let alone the revenues from rents , dividends and debt notes.

Your multigenerational family business only generates 100k Euros. Your founding ancestor would be LIVID at the lack of growth and expansion. There’s no wonder you had to go find a crappy job in Asia.

Easy tiger, I said 100,000 to make a figure. Be damned if you didn't have to take the chance to remind us of your wonderful 6-figure pension

My "multigenerational family business" doesn't make only 100K EUR a year, of course. And there are reasons why our family always rejected the kind of franchising opportunities that promised "growth and expansion". No point even trying explain them to you, once it's clear that your business knowledge comes from a bunch of "get rich quick" books and seminars and isn't grounded in anything real. Crystal clear you have never run a business in your life, and for good reason.